He is dead, gone. I feel a sort of empty feeling inside of me. He and the Dark Lord were all I ever lived for. And now they are both gone.






I, Bellatrix Lestrange, endured sixteen year in Azkaban for my master. Every second, I was forced to recount all of my worst memories. All of which had to do with the Dark Lord. Every day, I could hear his laugh in the creak of the metal cells, smell his stench in the food the Demontors brought me, and see his repulsive face every night in my nightmares. And Rodolphus, my husband, went through all of it with me.






Rodolphus was the one person I could go to with my worries, fears, and pains. He laughed with me, cried with me, and helped me through my hardest times. I remember one night, after the Dark Lord had punished me for something, I can’t even remember what, he held me. His arms felt so good on me. The pains of the Cruciatus Curse ran through me. It was like my very blood was on fire.




I felt so safe as he hugged me. He whispered in my ear, “One day, Bella, you and I will both be free.”




I remember saying “ What if we ran away? If we got far enough he would not find us.”



All he said in response was, “ One day, Bella, you and I will both be free.” After that, I rested my head on his shoulder and cried. I am not sure, but I think some of the tears on his shirt were not from me.


Right now, I feel guilt. I should not be alive right now. Rodolphus, not me, should be the one sitting on the front porch watching the sunset.




It happened during the battle three days ago. I need to tell someone, but who? I no longer have Rodolphus to confide in. I do not have his shoulder to cry on.



Rodolphus and I were sitting on the front porch drinking coffee and watching the sunset. We were laughing at a joke I had just told. I loved his laugh. I came from deep within his chest. I was always happy when I heard his laugh. But his laughter stopped abruptly. I had felt it, too. A stab of pain had just come from my left arm, a second, then a third burn that spread all the way up my arm. I just stared at Rodolphus. He stared back. This was the message we had all been dreading. All the Death Eaters knew that three burns meant only one thing: the final battle. For the next few minutes, Rodolphus and I were changing into our Death Eaters’ robes. We both put our masks on just before we walked out the door.



“Bella, maybe today. Maybe today we will both be free,” he whispered in my ear. I held his hand for a moment. Then stepped out the door.



The next thing I knew, I was standing in a graveyard. Other Death Eaters were already there. I only recognized some. I saw my sister Narcissa, her husband Lucius, Grayback, Goyle, Crabbe, and Wormtail.



There were at about twenty of us. We all stood in a line facing to huge church in the opposite side of the graveyard. The sun was just setting behind it. I had Rodolphus on one side and my Master on the other. I could feel heat coming from both. There was a slight difference, however. Rodolphus’s heat was reassuring. The Dark Lord’s heat was oddly chilling.



We stood on silence for about a half an hour. Even the Dark Lord did not speak. Finally, when I felt I could not bear the tension much longer, I saw something. It was just a shadow. It was moving across the hill very quickly. It was approaching the church when another shadow came over the horizon, then another, and another. Soon there were about thirty of them. As they drew nearer, I could feel Rodolphus’s heat growing hotter, and the Dark Lord’s becoming more chilling. Finally, we could see them. I recognized the leader at once, we all did. Harry Potter.




“ Kill them all, but leave Potter. He is mine,” The Dark Lord yelled. I felt Rodolphus squeeze my hand very briefly, then he leapt into the battle. I followed.



I ran. I ran until I was almost out of breath. The first person I met was a witch with bubble gum pink hair. We just looked at each other, then raised our wands. She threw a hex at me but I dodged it, and sent a stunning spell at her. As we dueled, I kept thinking about Rodolphus, who was fighting ten feet away from me, hoping he was alright. I fought with every spell I knew. She fought just as hard. I sent one hex at her. It hit her exactly where I wanted it to go: directly to the heart. She crumpled at my feet, stunned. I ran on. I met Mad Eye Moody. I knew him very well. He was the one that caught Rodolphus and I and sent us to Azkaban. I fought him. But with every spell I gave, he had one twice as strong. I fought him with all I had but he was too much for me. He sent a trip jinx at me. Rodolphus, glanced over just as I fell. He threw one last curse at the werewolf he was fighting and started running toward me. Our eyes met for the briefest second. His eyes spoke for him, they always had. “ I love you, Bella,“ was what he was telling me. No, Rodolphus, don’t do it. Please don’t do it, I thought. But he did. He ran toward me just as Moody ’s wand let out a jet of green light. The spell hit someone. That person fell to the ground, dead. But it was not me, for whom the spell was meant. No, it was Rodolphus, my husband. The person who had said, “ One day, Bella, you and I will both be free.”



I yelled at the man who killed him. I waved my wand and sent the Avada Kedavra straight to his chest. Just as he had murdered Rodolphus. I felt a sort of vindictive pleasure as I watched him fall to the ground.



After that, I only remember someone yelling “ Avada Kedavra!” . It was Potter. He had killed the Dark Lord. The one who I had given everything to: my life, my husband, and my heart itself.



I also remember the silence. It was so complete, almost tangible. Even the crickets stopped chirping. Then everyone was running. People were running in all directions. I still don’t know where any of them are; all I know is that I went running back to Rodolphus.



I found his body at the edge of the forest. I had not realized the location until now. I saw how beautiful the trees were. The moon was so bright that I had to squint when I looked up at it. Instead of making me feel at peace, I was angry. The beauty seemed to mock me. It felt as though the trees and moon were yelling “ Bellatrix, you are the reason he is dead! You are the reason he is dead!” I must have sat there for hours. Even now, I don’t know how long I was there. I got up and left at around sunrise. I walked aimlessly for hours. But ended up at our... my house. I made my way to our... my bed and sat down. That is when the tears started falling. I cried and cried. But there was no one there. There was no shoulder to cry on. There was no one to hold me. And there was no one to say “Bella, you and I are both free!”