A cold, creeping tendril of fear wrapped itself around my heart, circulating its chill throughout my body. My hands, pale and clammy, shook so much that I could not grasp anything except for my thoughts. My breath was reduced to short, rapid gasps. I couldn’t believe the mess that I was in. In less than an hour, I was to be summoned to the Dark Lords presence. By midnight, I will become a Death Eater. I am going to be forced to live a double life from the moment that I was initiated to the day that I die.

I was a spy for the Order of the Phoenix. The reason for this was to replace Snape, who ran off into hiding after the attack at Hogwarts. My duty was to spy on the Death Eaters and find out all their plans and their strategies.
But at the time, I was hesitant to go ahead with the plan. What would Gran think? My friends? Luna? I didn’t want to do this. I just couldn’t. Before, I couldn’t imagine myself becoming one of them. They tortured my parents into insanity and murdered the parents of my friend, Harry. The lives of thousands, maybe millions of people were ruined because of them. And I was just going to be added to the ranks of these terrorists who did the worst damage imaginable.

But when it fell to choosing between duties and what I believed was right, which do I pick? What I believe merges into this assignment. I wanted to see Voldemort vanquished. I wanted to avenge the wrongful injustice of Frank and Alice Longbottom. I wanted to live out my life without fear or worry. I wanted to just open the newspaper one morning and not find an obituary about some one who was murdered by one of Voldemorts followers.

The clock hands were ticking the minutes away, the years of my life away. The old Neville was dying, and a new one, a darker shadow of his old self, was quickly taking its place.



His cold, snake-like eyes bore into my soul. I shivered with a cold dread that spread throughout my body as he carefully scrutinized every inch of me. I tried to not break my gaze from that hideous snake-man as he studied me. I knew he was reading my mind, I just knew it.

It was freezing in the chamber. Death Eaters lined the stone walls, making a large circle around me and Lord Voldemort. Whispers spread around. I knew they were talking about me. After all, why would a person join the same legions of men who had tortured his parents into insanity?

“Why are you joining the ranks of Death Eaters,” Voldemort asked in a soft and sneering tone.

My blood froze. I knew I had to lie. I could not admit that I was a spy for the Order.

“I felt betrayed by my friends,” I lied. “I wanted to betray them like they betrayed me.”

Death Eaters everywhere nodded and whispered their approval. The look of disdain on the Dark Lords face did not change.

Slowly, he fed me more questions. Who was I? Was my blood pure? To what extent could I do magic? What was my life like before I decided to join? What did my friends do to betray me? Why did I want revenge?

The questions echoed off the walls. I was never good at lying. As a child, I got in trouble for telling poor lies to cover up the wrong things I did. My head throbbed and it felt like it was going to explode from the interrogations. Even despite the many lies I said, I kept to the truth to a certain extent yet I could just tell Voldemort was searching out the memories and thoughts that I harbored.

A sudden grip of fear over took me. What if he found out why I was actually here? Would he kill me on the spot or torture me into insanity like what happened to my parents years before?

Before I could dwell on that pang of fear, a cold smile crossed his face. Though he spoke no words, I knew I had passed my first test.



He flicked his wrist and a strong breeze entered the chamber. Dust went up into the air and swirled in small cyclones. I shut my eyes to block out the dirt. When I opened them again, the chamber was deserted.
A million thoughts rushed through my mind. What was going on? Why was I left alone here? What did I do wrong? Did I choose the wrong answer? Is that why they left me here to die?

I started to panic. I didn’t want to be left in this chamber for the rest of eternity. Surely, some one from the Order would have heard of the disaster and would try to rescue me.

I slumped down against the wall. I was the wrong person for this job. It should have gone to some one else, some one who knew magic and can prove themselves valuable to both the Order and to Lord Voldemort. I was just a talent-less hack that could barely get away with all the magical malfunctions happened to me. And now, I was going to be forced to pay for being a hopeless looser by being imprisoned in this dingy cell for the rest of my life.
“Congratulations for screwing up, Longbottom,” I said to myself, “’cause now I am going to live the life of a prisoner for the rest of my GOD DAMN LIFE!”

I slammed my fist against the ground and gasped in pain as it crashed into the hard, cold stone. I sat back and started to breathe heavily. I looked up and saw a cloud of black smoke. What the heck was going on? Was Voldemort sending black smoke to kill me? I remembered a television show I had seen several weeks before, where one of the characters was taken by black smoke and killed. I started to laugh a maniacal laugh. The most feared dark wizard in England, maybe in the world, was resorting to ideas from Muggle television shows to kill me?

I stopped laughing as soon as I realized that the black smoke was twisting itself into words of a riddle.
I read it and then I panicked once more. I was never good at riddles. Hermione Granger was very talented with them and she could answer one at the blink of an eye. But instead of mopping around, I read it again, thinking “what would Hermione do.” Clearly, it was testing me in my skills. If I get the right answer, I am free to go on to the next level. But if I failed, I could die.

To get of alive,
Speak of the word that is requested for.
A popular decoration during Yuletide,
Where couples come to meet.
It killed the Norse God Baldur,
and everywhere there was grief.

I read the riddle several times. I didn’t know the answer, but it must have hinted what I was supposed to do. The problem was what was it that I was supposed to do?



I was trapped in that chamber for a very long time. The words hung in midair, taunting me and my inability to solve riddles. My mind was in a different place, dwelling on a past that seemed to have happened a million years ago. I was thinking about the Christmas in my fifth year, when Luna said out of the blue that nargles lived in mistletoe as we were about to kiss under it. That was really funny.

A popular decoration during Yuletide,
Where couples come to meet.

I froze in my spot. Was the answer mistletoe or holly? They're both popular decorations during Christmas, yet couples like to meet under a spring of mistletoe. I knew no Norse mythology to back up my theory. After all, who in the world was Baldur? I think it was that answer that could grant my freedom or my death warrant.

“Mistletoe,” I said out loud. Almost instantaneous, Death Eaters arrived, filling up the chamber once more. Lord Voldemort himself stood in front of me, his wand clutched in his hand.

“Very good, Longbottom,” he crooned maliciously, “most people could solve that riddle in a minute, but no, you had to spend hours to figure it out. What a dimwit. Some herbologist you are. Yet you solved it and now I must initiate you into the ranks of my followers.”

He yanked my left arm towards him and raised his wand over it. A searing, white hot pain erupted in my forearm region. It felt like a million little needles piercing into my skin. There was a blinding, white light that prevented me from seeing anything. I wanted to yank my arm back and get away from the scene, but his grip chained me to the spot. I couldn’t move.

After what seemed like an eternity, the pain stopped. The light dimmed and I found myself standing in the chamber. Gasping in pain, I looked down at my arm and almost passed out by what I saw. There was the hideous insignia of the Dark Lord, a snake protruding out of a skulls mouth on my arm. I was now a Death Eater. I could not believe it.



Two Death Eaters appeared by my side and roughly grabbed me by my arms. They dragged me out of the chamber in utter silence and took me down a long corridor before stopping before a heavy iron door. The lock clicked and it swung open, revealing another smaller chamber that reminded me too much of the one that I had been in earlier. They threw me inside, my head banging against the floor.
"You'll stay 'ere till furth'ur notice," one of them said lazily before slamming the door behind him. Despite the thickness of the door, I could hear them laughing as they walked back to the main room.

I lay shivering on the ground, thinking back to how I got into this mess.

*flash back*
"Mr. Longbottom. I have a very important mission for you."
I stood against the French windows, watching the rain thrashing itself against the glass. My old Transfiguration teacher, Professor McGonagall, stood behind an antique desk. We were in an old study at Grimmauld Place, where she wanted to meet me to talk about a very important something she wanted me to do.
I turned around and looked back at her. "What is it that you want me to do?
In the most serious tone that she could muster, she said, "the Order needs you to take Severus Snapes place. They want you to spy on the Death Eaters."
"What?"
"They want you to spy on the Death Eaters and to report back to the Order with any information that you have collected that can help us defeat Voldemort."
"And why are you asking me? There are people who are better qualified than me. Why not ask them?"
"Because, Mr. Longbottom." McGonagall moved towards to the windows. "You are the least likeliest to join the Death Eaters. I have seen you improvements in magic ever since joining the DA. It is the closest that you can get to becoming a hero."'
She peered across my face. I shivered from the coldness in the room. I just wanted this meeting to be over.
"It will make your family proud."
"But what about my friends," I asked. "Luna?"
Everything went silent.
"It is your decision," she whispered into my ear. "Think it over."
I stayed by that window for a very long time
*end of flashback*



The others would not believe the situation that I was in. Most of the people that I knew would not imagine finding themselves in the situation that I was in. Seamus, Dean, Luna, everyone who knew me the best, they would think that me becoming a spy for the Order was just a joke made to draw attention to myself and to make me look good.
The wound on my arm felt warm. Maybe it was infected.
I tried not to think of my arm and focused my thoughts on something else. Now that I d miraculously managed to pass the trials of becoming a Death Eater, I could do anything. There are no limits to what I, Neville Longbottom, can do now that I have completed the impossible. Heck, I can even fly to Mars and back on a Cleansweep if I could!

With a strong feeling of euphoria on hand, I began to plan how I was going to get back at everyone for not believing me. The only one that I could think of was writing out "Neville Longbottom Day" on all the calendars that I could get my hands on. Then, when some one is looking up the date, they will think that July 30th is Neville Longbottom Day! That can embarrass those who thought that it was a national holiday dedicated to me! It isn't exactly hardcore or something that Ron's brothers, Fred and George, would do, but I think it's a very funny prank that sends the message "Neville Longbottom did the impossible by spying on the Death Eaters and, with the information that he got, changed the course of Wizarding History forever."
A chuckle turned into a laugh that echoed throughout the tiny cell. For a minute, I forgot about the looming danger that awaited me. Today, I wanted to focus on what I was going to do once my mission was done and the war was over.



"I have an assignment for you," Lord Voldemort said in a low tone. It had been days since I was initiated as a Death Eater. Since then, nothing important has happened that proved beneficial for the Order. I was allowed to go home after a day and a half. My friends didn't know about what exactly was I was doing for the Order. They just thought that I was doing some undercover work and that was it. The Dark Mark on my arm was covered up with a bandage. I told those who asked that I had hurt my arm after falling off a ladder.

"What is it that you want me to do," I asked, uneasy about what I might be set to do.

"I want you to travel to retrieve one of my personal effects from an island in the middle of a deep lake in a land far away." He pointed to a rusty dagger that was laid upon a marble pedestal. "That portkey will take you to where my possession is and it will take you back."

Without question, I walked up to the pedestal and took the dagger. I felt a tug in my stomach and a strong breeze taking me out of Voldemorts presence and dumping me in a forested area.

It was a cloudy day in the place where I was taken to. There was a deep lake nearby. In the middle of it was a small island. Because I couldn't find any boats, I assumed that I couldn't sail to the island. A rotting wooden sign was staked at the shore of the mainland. I tried reading it, but I simply couldn't. It was written in another language like Chinese or Japanese. I had no idea where I was, but I think I was in Japan.

This should be easy, I thought. After all, it was just swimming to an island, finding whatever it is that Voldemort wanted me to get, and then come home. How hard could it be?

Just as I was about to start paddling towards the island, I saw a hideous, monkey-like thing with webbed hands and feet swimming in the water. It was a kappa. I remembered learning about them in a Defense against the Dark Arts class in my third year. They were Japanese water demons that preyed on small kids unless their mothers made an offering of cucumbers. I didn't feel like swimming with that creature in the water. The only options that I had was to either swim anyway and get attacked by this thing, or offer it cucumbers, which I didn't have, or Apparate to the island, which I was still incapable of doing.

I sat down on the bank, burying my face in my hands. What was I going to do? I looked around my surroundings after several minutes, hoping to find anything that could get me to the island without that creature trying to kill me. In the reeds, I found an old basket of cucumbers. Why someone abandoned a basket full of food, I didn't care. Without any hesitation, I took the basket and tossed the basket of cucumbers into the water. As the kappa gobbled them up greedily, I began to frantically thrash through the cold, dark water to the island. I couldn't think of anything that could slow down my movements.

"OUCH," I roared. I think hit my foot against a rock. As I fell forward, my hands touched dry sand. Looking up, I saw a small island.

I made had made it! I stumbled forward across the sand. My clothes instantly froze to my body, making me shiver in the late afternoon chill. Though I was exhausted, I made my way to the center of the island where I knew that the thing that I was seeking was.



The thing that Voldemort wanted me to get was an arm band like thing shaped like a silver snake with emeralds for eyes. It looked very old, very valuable, and very dangerous looking.

I swam back to the mainland (after making sure that the kappa was nowhere in sight, of course. I don't want to come back home and be forced to explain to everyone about why I got attacked by a kappa if they didn't reside in England), wondering why Voldemort wanted that bracelet back. Was it like that opal necklace that cursed Katie Bell back in my sixth year? I didn't think so because nothing happened to me as I picked it up from the pedestal. It was just an ordinary piece of jewelry. Since it looked very old and because was decked out in Slytherin colours, I assumed it had belonged to Salazar Slytherin or to some one in Voldemorts family. Maybe it was a Horcrux. Harry was still trying to find all the Horcruxes. If Voldemort can just affirm this theory, I could tell Harry about it and he can go and destroy it.

The dagger portkey was hiding under the basket, where I left it before I started my journey to the island. The bracelet was safely stored in my coat pocket, cushioned by several soggy handkerchiefs. I picked up the dagger and waited several minutes for it to take me back home. Nothing happened.

"What is wrong with this piece of crap," I snarled under my breath.

Somehow, Voldemort put a spell on it to take me all the way to a place a million miles away from England and didn't even bother to charm that damn thing to take me back home! I vaguely remembered hearing that he had placed a spell on the hide-out as to make sure magic can't be detected. Those who used magic in that area would be discovered and captured by Aurors. That excluded the options of using Apparation or doing a Summoning Charm that can bring me a broomstick. It wasn't like I could do such a thing. As I have mentioned before, I wasn't the best at performing magic in the world.

As I scanned my surroundings to see if there was anything that could take me home. In the distance, I could see the sun glinting off the roofs of what looked like a Muggle village. Without thinking, I began to run down the mountainside to the village. Maybe some one in the village had some sort of means of getting back home.

It was a girl named Miko who got me home. She was a college student from Tokyo who was visiting her grandparents in the country. She knew nothing about magic and thought I was crazy when I told her who I was and why I happened to be soaking wet in another country. “What are you, some delusional writer,” she asked me before agreeing to help pay for my plane ticket back to England.



A month after retrieving Voldemorts snake bracelet, I found myself standing in front of three of the most frightening people in the world. Bellatrix Lestrange, Lucius Malfoy, and Lord Voldemort stood before me. My knees began to shake uncontrollably from the fear of being in the presence of these people.

"Please look at the Dark Lord when he is addressing you," Bellatrix snapped as she caught me staring at the ground, trying to avoid the cold stares of these murderers. I looked up fearfully, awaiting my last task.

It was Lucius who spoke. “Someone has deeply insulted the Dark Lord, and he has decided that they need to be punished. You are to go to their house tonight and kill them. Do not worry. We have ensured that no one will get in your way, but if they should, I would like to think you could take care of them. Now, wouldn’t you like to know who you will be visiting?”

I slightly nodded even though I didn't want to know who is it that I am going to be forced to murder.

“You will be paying a visit to Luna Lovegood. I believe you are familiar with her home, so you should not have a problem getting there.”

I froze. No, not Luna. Anyone but Luna! I couldn't believe what was happening. I was going to be forced to murder Luna Lovegood. Even though we were no longer romantically involved, we were still friends. This simply couldn't be.

This was the hardest decision I had to make. Option one was to flat out tell Voldemort and his cronies that I refuse to murder Luna, but that would mean ensuring my own death sentence. The other was to go ahead and kill Luna. I had done so much work to get this far. I was humiliated, harassed, tortured, and dumped in the middle of Japan with no means of getting back home. I was this close to becoming a Death Eater and sealing the deal to become a spy for the Order. Moreover, I was no longer close to Luna. After all, she was now dating Seamus Finnegan. Why throw all my hard work away?

Then again, I never wanted to become a Death Eater in the first place. I knew I was never meant to be a spy, though I foolishly accepted the offer. I wanted to get away from here. I wanted to run away and never come back to England. I wanted to just change my name and move to another country, even though the Death Eaters would eventually find me and kill me.

I knew what I had to do. I looked up and said, “No. I can’t do it. I will not kill Luna. I don’t care what you do to me. You can kill me, but you can’t hurt her.”

Those were the words that sealed my fate. After I said that, I was taken away and imprisoned in a little cell somewhere deep underground. That was years ago. This is the only true story that will be told of me, that was told by me. One of these days, the Death Eaters will come and take me away and then execute me. Even though I may be gone very soon, may this tale of what happened to me during the last two months spent as a free man live on forever.