Peter’s fingers fluttered at his sides like butterflies tethered to a post. His dark, beady eyes never stopped moving across the floor until he twitched at the sound of a throat being cleared. He didn’t dare make any clear thoughts, in fear of them being overheard. One, though, continued running through his mind.

Was this what he really wanted to do?

His face was paler than usual. His brow furrowed and delicate wrinkles lined his forehead, irregular for his age.

What if somebody found out?

Peter stopped breathing for a moment as that thought dawned on him. Surely, if somebody found out, he would have no chance of surviving. He could imagine Sirius and Remus turning their wands upon him the moment they found him.

But Sirius would be the only one who would know.

Part of him wished that more people than Sirius would find out; part of him hoped that somebody could stop him; most of him wished they would forgive him.

He stole a glance at the shoes of the man standing above him before quickly keeping his gaze to himself. The memory of being chosen, chosen over everybody else, still burned in his memory.

”I hate to put you in this position,” James said, with a shrug.

“And,” Lily put in, her fierce green eyes a little duller than usual, “you can always say no.”

“Sirius is willing to take it up again,” continued James as he paced across the floor. “But--”

“No, I want to help,” Peter said with a smile.

“I don’t think we can thank you enough, Peter,” Lily said, embracing him. Peter blushed.

“Yeah, thanks a million, Wormtail,” James added, awkwardly patting him on the back.

He jumped as the baby in corner began to cry ; Lily flashed Peter a smile and trotted over to it. Gracefully, she bent down and picked up her son, holding him in a comforting cradle. His crying softened to a low babble of gibberish.

“I think he wants to thank you also,” Lily said with a laugh. “But honestly.” Her expression turned suddenly serious. “This could be extremely dangerous for you. Are--are you sure you want to help?”

“I’m positive, Lily.” Peter glanced over at James. “I wouldn’t leave you.”

“Spoken like a true Marauder!” James shook him by the shoulder lightly and laughed. “I knew we could count on you.”

Guilt spread from the pit of his stomach up until he felt as though he might throw up. They had trusted him with their lives, with Harry’s life.

Oi! Wormtail!” Sirius waved him down after a dinner with the Potters. “Lily and James didn’t mention it at dinner, but…” He raised his eyebrows.

“What?” Peter frowned.

“Well -- the--” Sirius scratched the back of his head “--didn’t they ask you something?”

“Oh.” Peter shared a nervous laugh with Sirius. “Yeah, they did.”

“And -- er--”

“Oh…” Again, they shared a quick laugh. “Yeah. Yeah, I--I said yes.”

A grin split across Sirius’s face. “Ah excellent!” he exclaimed. “I mean, I would have done it immediately, but… well… I don’t think You-Know-Who would even think of you being a Secret Keeper. And--”

“Yeah,” Peter interrupted. He knew what Sirius was going to say; he had suffered enough of the sly comments from his friends during their school days to know that it wouldn’t end in kind words.

A silence passed between them. Peter had a strong urge to leave, but held his ground.

“So,” Sirius cut in. “Are you excited?”

“What?”

“Or proud, maybe.”

Peter cleared his throat. “What are you talking about, Padfoot?”

“Well, they trusted you with their lives… and Harry’s! I would be proud.”

Letting out a long sigh, Peter watched as Sirius rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet. “You were,” he pointed out.

“Oh… right.”

“Besides, they only chose me because it would be safer for all of us. They didn’t really choose me, anyway. They chose you. I was just a convenience.”

Another feeling boiled in the pit of his stomach. He was just as good as any of the other Marauders. He was just as brave. He was a Gryffindor too, wasn’t he?

Remus sat with laced fingers in the Potters’ living room after a particularly raucous Marauder reunion. The Potters were tending to the baby and Sirius snored on the couch. Peter sipped a bottle of Butterbeer silently. He wasn’t even thirsty; he just needed something to do with his hands.

“Sirius should really be heading home,” Remus said as Sirius turned over in his sleep. “Somebody in his position shouldn’t be out at night.”

“What do you mean?” Peter asked.

“Word will get out fast,” Remus explained, “about him being Secret Keeper. It’s all very predictable, if you ask me.”

“Oh.” Peter put the empty bottle of Butterbeer back on the table. “Well as long as he doesn’t tell anybody, he should be fine, right?”

“Unless if somebody kills him to get the secret out,” Remus pointed out.

“Well who else should they have asked?”

“Anybody they can trust. Me, maybe.”

Peter frowned. “And not me? They can’t trust me?”

“Of course they can trust you, Peter,” Remus said calmly. “But do you really think they would ask you to be Secret Keeper?”

Peter picked the bottle and started fidgeting with it. “Yes,” he said in an attempt to stand up for himself. “I think they would. I’m a Marauder too, aren’t I?”

Remus shook his head. “It’s not that,” he said. “But you’d get yourself killed faster than Sirius could if you were Secret Keeper. We’re just worried about your safety, Peter.”

His safety. Why did everybody think he needed to be protected? He wasn’t eleven years old any more.

He was better than everybody thought he was. He could be valuable for one side, if the other wouldn’t give him a chance. One man’s traitor is another man’s savior.

He tried to clear his mind; he had let too many thoughts leak away for the able mind to catch.

Peter could not delay any longer. He knew that waiting this long was possibly fatal. Throat dry, he finally looked up into the face that had haunted his nightmares for years. Scarlet shimmered behind thin eyelids.

Unable to keep the gaze, Peter hurriedly glanced down at his hands, watching them open and close into fists as though it fascinated him. In the moonlight, they shimmered like silver.

They would regret making fun of him. They would regret making him feel inferior all those years.

Now was his chance to show everybody just how powerful he was.

“They’re hiding at Godric’s Hollow.”