“Why, Susan! What’s wrong?�

Susan Bones hurriedly wiped her eyes. “Oh, noth–�

“Don’t you try and tell me it’s nothing.� Sally-Anne Perks said, sitting down next to Susan and enveloping her in a hug. “Is Potions really causing you that much trouble?� she added, nodding at the slightly tear-dampened book open in front of Susan.

“Well...� Susan swallowed and tried to steady her voice. “It’s never been my favorite subject, but until this year I had a tutor, and – � Against her will a sob caught in her throat and tears streamed down her face.

“Oh,� Sally-Anne said, understanding. “Cedric.�

“I keep telling myself it’s silly, that he would’ve graduated and I wouldn’t have a tutor anyway, but I can’t help just being so sad!� Susan cried into Sally-Anne’s shoulder. “And it’s O.W.L. year and if I don’t get an O I won’t be able to take N.E.W.T. Potions and I won’t be able to be a Healer!� she continued in a rush.

Sally-Anne bit her lip. “It’s not going to do you any good to cry about it,� she said gently.

“Oh, I know,� Susan said, forcing herself not to snap impatiently. “I just can’t seem to help it.�

“Well,� Sally-Anne said, pulling Susan out of her arms and scooting back so she could see her clearly. “I’m probably not going to say anything you don’t already know. But. Cedric wouldn’t want you to keep crying about him like this – think of what he’d say if he caught you!�

Susan sniffed and tried a tiny smile. “He’d be embarrassed that there was this much fuss. Remember when his name came out of the Goblet?�

“Yes,� Sally-Anne replied. “He was so modest about it! So, how about we respect his wishes and stop this teariness.�

“I can try,� Susan said, picking up her Potions book and setting it on her lap. “I’d probably better find another tutor, though.�

“How about a study group? We all have to take Potions, and we can’t all be Hermione Granger. I wonder if Ernie would be willing to make one...�

“He’s pretty good at it, isn’t he?� Susan remarked, tracing the title of the Potions book with her finger. “What did he get on our first essay, an A? That’s pretty good coming from Snape.�

Sally-Anne nodded and stood. “Let’s go downstairs and see if we can find him.� She took Susan’s hand and pulled her to standing and they made their way to the common room. Ernie wasn’t the first one they found, though.

“Hey, Justin! We’re thinking of starting a study group for Potions, how does that sound?�

Susan tried not to blush as Justin Finch-Fletchley came over to join them. She hoped it wasn’t too obvious she’d been crying, but there was small chance of that. In fact, she caught him looking sharply at her before turning to Sally-Anne with a smile.

“Sounds like a plan. Have you talked to Ernie yet?�

“Just going to find him,� Sally-Anne said. “Want to come look?�

“Might as well,� Justin replied, falling into step with them. Susan steeled herself for him to ask what was wrong, but he just squeezed her arm for a moment before engaging Sally-Anne in a conversation about something that had happened in their Arithmancy class.

He’s a good friend, she mused, only half-listening to the discussion about derivative circumlocutions. Probably already knows what I was crying about.

“Could we make it a sort of double study group?� Justin said, turning toward Susan, who jumped back to attention. “I know some of us have trouble with Charms.�

“Susan doesn’t,� Sally-Anne said smugly.

“Oh, stop,� Susan said, blushing. “Why don’t we have an all-around study group, then? We’re going to have to work hard this year if we want – if we want to do well.�

“If we want to become Healers, you mean?� Justin said, nudging her. “Hey look, there’s Ernie and Hannah, let’s go talk to them.�

***

Susan didn’t know if she’d ever worked harder in her life. She could understand why Sally-Anne, whose idea it had been in the first place, had abandoned the study group shortly after its conception – Susan sometimes completely forgot about it, what with the DA and her homework. Sometimes she worried if she was still going to be human by the time O.W.L.s were over. Only the thought of her aspirations to be a Healer had kept her going.

And now it was time for the reckoning. She glanced around and caught Justin’s eye, who tried to give her an encouraging smile, but he looked almost as bad as she felt. Hannah wouldn’t look at anyone but stared at her hands, her face deathly white. The last few O.W.L.s had not been quite as bad as Susan feared, but this was Potions. She could feel everything Ernie had hammered into head all year slipping right out of the back of her head.

Professor Marchbanks entered the room then, carrying an enormous stack of papers. Professor Flitwick took them from her and with a wave of his wand distributed them among the students. Susan’s hands twitched.

“You may begin.�

***

A tear dropped onto Susan’s book and she wiped it away, leaving a damp streak on the page. It felt like she’d been doing a lot of crying the past couple of days. It was just hard for her to believe that her Aunt Amelia was gone forever. It had only been last week she’d come over to visit, bearing two new books for Susan and some of her special macaroons.

“Got your O.W.L. scores yet?� she’d asked, kissing the top of Susan’s head.

“Not yet,� Susan had said nervously.

“Don’t worry,� her aunt laughed. “Even if you don’t get the scores you want, you’re a bright girl. There’s something in this world for you, Susie-pie.�

But her aunt would never find out her O.W.L. scores because she’d been murdered by You-Know-Who. Susan’s dad wouldn’t let her see it, but she knew it was ... nasty. Another tear fell onto the page, but Susan didn’t bother to wipe it away. Instead, she slammed the book shut and threw it across the room, bursting into full-out sobs.

“Susan?�

“Hey, Mum,� Susan between sobs, which she was trying to slow.

“Oh, honey,� her mother said, brushing the hair back from her forehead. “It’s so hard, isn’t it? I brought something for you, though.�

“What is it?� Susan wiped her eyes to better see the envelope in her mother’s hands. Once she recognized the Hogwarts seal, her heart started to pound. “My O.W.L. scores?�

“Go on and open it, darling,� Mum said.

Susan’s hands were shaking. She had a sinking feeling that she hadn’t done as well as she wanted. Her recent bout of crying was still causing her breath to catch in her throat. Finally she got the envelope open.

“Well?� her mother said expectantly.

Susan scanned the letter quickly. “E on Charms,� she said first, knowing her mother would be happy about that as a researcher in Experimental Charms. “O on Defense Against the Dark Arts.�

“An O? Susan, that’s amazing!�

Susan felt more tears prick at her eyes. “A on Potions.�

“Congratulations, girl; you passed.�

“Not well enough,� Susan choked out. “Here, you can look at the rest.� She thrust the letter at her mum and grabbed a pillow to hide her face.

“Oh, my little one,� her mother sighed. “So much is wrong for you today. Don’t worry, love, it’ll get better, I promise.�

And she left Susan alone with her O.W.L. scores and her tears.

“What I want,� Susan murmured into her pillow, “is for Aunt Amelia to come and tell me it will be all right, like when she comforted me about the dance solo all those years ago. It would be all right if she could just be here with me.�

She looked up and saw the letter with her scores lying next to her. “I as good as failed at Potions. What will my friends say?� She glared at it. “I thought hard work was supposed to pay off!� Suddenly, she picked it up and looked at it again.

“O on Defense Against the Dark Arts and E for the rest except Potions and History of Magic,� she murmured. “That’s pretty good. Just not good enough!� she burst out before forcing herself to calm down. “With scores like these, I can go into almost anything I want to. Except Healing,� she reminded herself bitterly.

Even though she just wanted to sit there despondently, she forced herself to get up and get out the stack of pamphlets Professor Sprout had given her. Aunt Amelia would have liked it as little as Cedric to see how torn up she’d been about her death and O.W.L.s. It was time for her to make some new goals.