The School of Insane Students by Hogwartzgrl479
Summary: One morning Harry wakes up to find the school in a chaotic mess. Everyone has gone completely insane except for him. Pretty mindless story with just good humour.
Categories: Humor Fics Characters: None
Warnings: None
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 3 Completed: Yes Word count: 3994 Read: 7328 Published: 12/13/04 Updated: 05/28/06

1. The School of Insane Students by Hogwartzgrl479

2. chapter 2 by Hogwartzgrl479

3. Chapter 3 by Hogwartzgrl479

The School of Insane Students by Hogwartzgrl479
Harry Potter woke up Saturday morning knowing today was going to be odd. Last night he already had detention with Filch and missed dinner and by the time he got back to the common room he was to tired to notice the party happening around him. He checked his watch and noticed that he had missed breakfast. A loud thud disrupted him from his thoughts. He looked out of his curtains and saw Ron lying on the ground like he had just fallen to the ground. Ron's mouth was wide open making him look like he was about to cry, but instead he started to laugh hysterically.

"Hey Harry, missed you ha ha ha at dinner ha last night." Ron said wiping a tear from his eye. "The punch was great ha ha ha."

Suddenly the door burst open and in walked Hermione staggering a little bit, she collapsed surprisingly into Ron's lap and both of them started laughing hysterically.

"Oh Harry me and 'Mione here have confessed our undying love to each other last night, to bad you missed it. Oh well." Both of them laughed at Harry as he got up and felt there foreheads.

"Are you two okay?'' questioned Harry.

"Harry your hair is messy." stated Ron.

''Harry's hair is always messy." Hermione said.

Both of them laughed at this obvious statement for several minutes. Harry didn't leave until they started kissing.

Harry headed down to the common room where he found the room in a chaotic situation. Some 7th years were singing "Ring Around the Rosie" and spinning out of control. Neville had somehow managed to get himself stuck in the curtains. Angelina seemed to be doing a rain dance. Ginny was running around the room with a lighted torch yelling something in Irish that Harry guessed didn't give off a good meaning by the way she looked. Colin, Dennis, Sheamus, Dean and Percy were doing a horrible impression of The Backstreet Boys, but most shockingly Harry saw what looked like nine Slytherins tied to a pole with hay scattered around them.

Suddenly Harry was pulled to the ground by the Weasley twins. "What is going on with everyone today?" asked Harry.

"Nothing. Hey guess what. Were playing capture the flag with the Slytherins and we don't even have a flag." replied George. Both twins started laughing hysterically.

Harry got out of there death grip and started to the door but was stopped by "The Backstreet Boys" singing "The Shape of my Heart."

Harry pushed threw them, headed to the door and an arrow was thrown at him but he dived to the ground and looked over at person who threw it. Ginny looked down at him and hissed "Next time I won't miss."

At this statement Harry ran out of the room ignoring the calls for help by Neville.

Harry decided to head to the library where he thought it might be more safe.

On the way he dodged a game of dodgeball, some more couples who have confessed there undying love, three more spear throwers, and a battle of the bands had seemed to broken out between 98 Degrees, Good Charlotte and Simple Plan. There were more kids tied to poles and children swinging from the chandeliers. Harry might have thought it funny if he wasn't so confused. But where were all the teachers?

He found refuge in the owlery after seeing the library was being used as a war zone for paintball.
Looking in the owlery he had realized that someone had set all the owls free. Harry looked out the window and found all the teachers hopping around in rabbit suits.

He fell asleep in the owlery with his head buzzing with questions. Some hours later he was waken up by a very smiley Ron.

"Get up sleepy head. Dinner time, Hermione said she save us some punch." said Ron literally hopping out of the owlery.

On there way to great hall Harry noticed that the hallways were deserted and quiet. Well except for Ron singing Happy Birthday at the top of his lungs and doing cartwheels down the hallway and except for the occasional student tied to a pole. The great hall was in a rather surprising position. No war or spears being thrown around and no one was singing. No one was even eating. Everyone was just drinking the punch. The most chaotic place was Hermione standing on top the table with a huge bowl of punch, hexing anyone coming to close to steal her punch. She looked as if she was conducting an imaginary orchestra with her wand.

"Ron, Harry, I saved us some punch." yelled Hermione as she jumped off the table toward them. Ron caught her around the waist and smiled. "Thanks love." said Ron pulling a goblet out of nowhere and starting fishing out cupfuls for him and Hermione to share. When Harry looked in the punch bowl [already half of it was gone due to Ron and Hermione's frantic drinking.] He was very surprised [though now nothing seems surprising now.] to see it was a periwinkle color.

Harry knew that this wasn't right and ran out the great hall towards the library. When he finally got there the paint from the battle had covered everything. It looked as if fifty or sixty toddlers had painted all over the walls. Grossed out, Harry ran to the section that he had only seen Fred, George and Hermione in. Hermione's been to all the sections of the library so she's an exception, but Fred and George had only been over here once and that was because of them spiking the punch at the Christmas party. Harry smiled at those memories where only a few students had gone completely bonkers. But know the whole school and the teachers.It was a lot to handle

Harry grabbed the largest book and began his search. Most of the books he found where how to do it and how not to get caught but he needed what the effects were. Then he found a rather small book hidden by blotches of purple paint that title was "The results of spiking. Are you sure you know whats going to happen?" Harry skimmed through the book until one page caught his eye.

The ''Bonkuris Nutus" Harry read through the page.

The 'Bonkuris Nutus is a complex potion to be put in a punch. It is always put in the punch by a speck of magical dust found in old magical castles usually by accident. The speck will cause the potion to turn periwinkle after the drinker drinks it. After the first glass the potion will stay periwinkle. The punch will cause the drinkers to go completely insane and the only way for it to stop is to wait 48 hours for the drinkers to become completely immune to it.

Harry sighed. Well at least it would be over soon. He closed his eyes and hoped he could make it through another day. Then suddenly a paintball came his way and he used the book to cover the orange ball about to hit his head. No they had come back from dinner. Run. That all that came to his head. He got up grabbed the biggest book he could find and ran out of the library.

Harry collapsed onto his bed and replayed the last hour in his head. The students had conjured up some skateboards and those little barbie jeeps and the hall way became a traffic jam impossible to get through without being ran over. He never even heard half the words Luna Lovegood had spewed out during her being cut off by Professor Vector in his little G.I. Joe Jeep. Then in the common room the whole group seemed to be in a rousing rendition of the YMCA. Hermione seemed to be leading the dance while Ron did the Funky Chicken facing away from everyone. Then suddenly a boy around thirteen years old flew into the room disrupting the dance.

"I'm super hero D. and I'm here to proclaim my love to Hermione Granger."

A gasp suddenly filled the room as Hermione did an over dramatic faint and was caught by Ron. Then suddenly she opened her eyes and said rather loudly "Must have fallen a sleep for a minute Ha Ha. Superhero D, I cannot be with thee for thy is in love with sir Ronald."

"Ok" replied Super hero D and he jumped out of the window and flew into the night.

Then a loud shriek filled Harry's ear as he turned and blocked a dagger being thrown at him with his hand. *Mental Note* never block sharp objects with hands. He looked at the thrower all ready knowing who it was but saw to his surprise that there where two Ginny's. What, two Ginny's. Then he focused and realized that one was Ginny, But the other girl was taller, longer hair and blue eyes. But otherwise, they had the same fiery red hair color and the same wicked smile planted on there faces. Harry recognized this girl as Mary who he had seen studying with Hermione, and having a reputation for flying on her broom at odd hours of the morning.

"Sorry Harry dear, I missed. I was trying to get Dennis." She turned to the other girl and said "Mary got any more ice cream?"

"Lets go ask Rupert. Bye Harry!" exclaimed Mary and the two girls literally flew out of the room. Harry had never heard of this Rupert guy in his life.

Harry took one more look around the room and saw George poking a girl that he rognized as Marybeth a shy Ravenclaw that enjoyed puzzles and licking stamps and then there was Katie trying to get the YMCA started again but no one really cared anymore because Daniel, a fifth year that hardly ever talked was giving everyone free therapy pillows.

Harry lay on his bed his head pounding with pain and his hand still bleeding.

He was not looking forward to tomorrow.

*PLEASE REVIEW
JUST SAY GOOD OR BAD. ONE WORD WOULD BE FINE!
chapter 2 by Hogwartzgrl479
Harry put numerous amounts of spells around his bed for protection through the night. He wasn't entirely sure of what the other students were capable of. Every now and then someone would be thrown at his curtains trying to gain entrance and if Harry had been outside the curtains he would have seen the majority of Gryffindors students holding up Neville Longbottom like a log and ramming him into Harry's curtains trying to gain entrance. The punch must have drained their brain of all their smartness.


A few minutes after the people left, Harry attempted to come out of his curtains but as soon as his feet touched the ground, Ron came running in. He was wearing a bear suit with a big red bow tie around his neck that made him look about 150 pounds heavier then normal. Harry shot back in his bed practically crying in fear.


"There. There Harry,” said Ron hugging Harry " I know Claire was scary with her llamas in pirate suits but that is nothing to cry over." Harry had no idea how Claire, a first year, got a hold of llamas and wasn't about to ask. Ron had let go of Harry and now was doing Broadway routines around the room and singing along with the moves which looked even weirder with his bear suit. Harry was watching Ron until he kneeled down by the door and Hermione entered wearing a matching bear outfit and started dancing with Ron and they ended their little routine with a rather wet kiss which revolted Harry and made him dare to venture down into the unknown universe of the punch drinkers.


Harry crouched down by the last step and looked into the common room to find only a few students in there. Angelina Johnson was standing on top of the couch yelling something about the revolution. Colin Creevey was just standing in the corner screaming like a madman for no apparent reason clicking his camera at different objects. And someone was hiding under the carpet shaking violently. Suddenly a bear claw clapped Harry on the back and Harry turned around to face the over smiley face of Ron Weasley.

"Mental, all of them Harry. Good thing you got normal friends like me and Mione here! Eh Harry." said Ron getting very close to Harry's face and bulging his eyes out to express his feelings.

Harry had to cover up his laugh with a cough. Hearing that from Ron wearing a bear suit was quite funny! Harry looked over at Hermione who was staring at the floor with a strange look on her face. Suddenly she shot of the steps and started screaming " Save the elves." while running towards the fat lady's portrait and then running out of the room.


Ron was shaking his head and clucking his tongue.


"Sorry about her Harry. She's brilliant but she's stranger than fluffy with two heads" Ron conjured up a unicycle and rolled out of the room after Hermione. Harry started banging his head against the wall and sighed, realizing the wall wasn't hard enough to knock him out. But hitting his head against the wall did give him an idea.


Harry ran upstairs and grabbed his invisibility cloak!

After Harry had grabbed his invisibility cloak he sat down and worked out his plan. First he would make his way down to the kitchens where he should be safe with the elves until dinner when the spell would have worn off. The elves should be normal considering they just make the juice and they don’t drink it.


Harry made his way into the common room and stopped on the bottom step to look at his surroundings. Somehow all the Gryffindors had got a hold off lavender glittery skintight outfits and were doing these flips and other acrobatics the air. Neville was still in the curtains.


Harry was mesmerized by all the acrobats and didn’t notice the pile of banana peels on the ground and he tripped.


“HARRY!” Harry then realized that the trip had forced the cloak to fall off and Ginny had found him. Harry looked up at Ginny and realized she had traded her spear in for a shotgun.


Suddenly all the yelling, music, acrobatics, and Neville’s screaming stopped. Everyone looked over at Harry and it was silent for a few seconds. Then Angelina let out a very high pitched yell and everyone started chasing Harry.


Harry shot out of the room and down the corridor faster then he could’ve if he was on his broom!


He turned the corner and saw a statue of a knight in armor and dove behind it as he watched as the mob run right pass the statue.


The mob was led by Ginny and her shotgun followed by the acrobats and there glittery outfits and some first years pulling wagons full of what seemed to be knocked out 4th years.


Harry came out from behind the statue and wiped his forehead. Suddenly he was receiving a hug from someone. He turned around and realized it was the statue of armor giving him a hug.


“Um…Hi.” Harry wasn’t sure of what else to say. What do you say to a statue of armor that is hugging you?
“Hi Harry.” out of the armor came a dreamy sort of voice that could only belong to Luna Lovegood.


“Luna?” Harry jumped out her grip.


“Yes Harry?” Luna took off the armor hat and looked at Harry with eyes three times her regular size.


“Please...don’t...scream.” He whispered. “I don’t want them to find me”


“Of course Harry.” said Luna in her weird little demon voice. It was silent for a few moments while Harry worked out what to do.


“AHHHHHHHHH!” Luna yelled out.


“What was that for?” Harry yelled stepping back.


“I saw a bug.” she said matter-of-factly in her dreamy voice.


Harry looked at her in disbelief but then started running down another corridor as he heard about twenty pairs of feet running his way.


Harry ran as fast as he could down the hall. Seeing a door at the very end of the corridor he started sprinting. He reached the door but realized the doorknob was painted on. It was a fake door!


He looked back and saw that the mob had found him. He realized there was no wear to go so he cowered in the corner.

The yelling got louder and closer and he could tell there were gonna get him.

He felt his arms and legs being grabbed in suddenly he was hoisted up onto the shoulders of some seventh years and was being taken away by the crowd of lunatics to who knows wear.

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I promise to update sooner! I already know what happens but I like to leave people guessing. It’s fun! . Please review and I’ll update sooner!
Chapter 3 by Hogwartzgrl479
Author's Notes:
One morning Harry wakes up to find the school in a chaotic mess. Everyone has gone completely insane except for him. Pretty mindless story with just good humour
Dedicated to my wonderful betas--HermyRox12 and Sour. Apple. I couldn't have done it without you guys!
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Please don't let them eat me. Oh Merlin, what if they eat me? What if they make me drink the punch or tie me to a pole like the other students? What if they make me put on those weird little acrobatic outfits? Wait, no one is wearing them anymore. On second thought, where is everyone?

These thoughts and many more flowed through Harry Potter's head as he was carried down the corridor to his doom. He realised that besides the people carrying him and the few kids tied to poles that there was no one else in the hallway. As he was carried down further through the halls he also realised that they were headed toward the Great Hall.

As the group headed toward the doors leading into the Great Hall, two second years greeted them in cheerleading outfits and neon green pom-poms. They started jumping up and down squealing like two pigs on helium when Harry was carried by. Suddenly the doors flew open and Harry was greeted by a burst of noise.

Everyone seemed to be on top of the tables and screaming while chugging down more of the periwinkle punch. Harry was let down on a huge white pillow the size of a baby elephant. The pillow was on top of the teachers table so he was facing the entire group. He noticed all the teachers smiling and waving at him through the windows all still dressed in their rabbit suits.

He looked behind him and Ginny was standing there looking quite normal. She was wearing a pair of jeans and a green peasant top. She had no gun but was holding a staff with a phoenix carved on the top of it.

'Well, At least it isn't a gun.' As he thought this flames shot out of the phoenix's mouth. 'Oh great, she has a flame-thrower.'

Harry backed away from Ginny still sitting on the pillow. Ginny looked down at Harry and smiled at him and fell on to the pillow next to him. She laid her head on his shoulder clutching the flame-thrower to her heart and smiling up at Harry. He smiled a bit nervously back down at her.

"Harry! They're coming!" Ginny whispered.

"What?" Harry asked. "Who's coming?" Now Harry was scared as he looked around the room.

"Why, surely you know Harry?" Ginny was now bouncing in anticipation.

"Watch." She pointed towards the side door that he went through during the Triwizard Tournament in his fourth year.

Dean Thomas was standing by the door holding a trumpet and wearing what looked like some purple poofy pants, a purple vest and a purple hat with a pink flower on it. He picked up the trumpet and blew into it, and everyone became silent

"I announce the...uh..." He looked down at his hand. He silently read something and then looked back up smiling.

"The Hogwarts River Dancers." A loud burst of river dance music came from nowhere and the door flew open, and in came the river dancers dancing between the tables. They where all wearing purple. All the boys had smiles to rival Lockhart's, and all the girls had mounds of curly hair on their head. The feet where all in perfect rhythm while everyone was clapping. Ginny was bouncing up and down next to Harry. She was clapping her hands and laughing.

"Now." All the noise including the dancers stopped instantly.

"I introduce the Lord of the Dance." Harry looked at the door expecting to see Michael Flatley appear but standing there was none other then Ronald Weasley. He tapped his foot once then again, and then he kicked higher then anyone should be allowed and danced out into the front of the dancers. Once again everyone went into perfect rhythm with a few amazing solos done by Ron.

"And now. " Everyone stopped except Ron who was doing a furiously fast move with his feet not even looking at the door where everyone else was staring.

"The Lady of the Dance." Harry watched in complete shock as Hermione came dancing out into the hall, her hair in huge curls. Ron stopped dancing and watched Hermione with much interest. She started dancing circles around Ron. After a minute she stopped to challenge Ron. He gladly accepted and both of them went into a heated dance off.

Harry was too mesmerised by the feet and limbs flying about that he didn't notice the students start to collapse around the Great Hall. It wasn't until Ginny fell into his lap that he noticed Ron, Hermione, and him were the only ones conscious. He looked at Ron and Hermione and watched them fall to the ground. He ran up to them and looked down at their sleeping bodies. His watched beeped and he knew it had been forty-eight hours.

He watched as the entire room started getting up and looked down at their outfits. Everyone seemed to have perfect knowledge of what happened, and they all seemed pretty embarrassed. Ginny came up behind Harry and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Sorry about the spear, Harry," she mumbled. He just smiled at her, put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her next to him. She smiled a bit and flipped on the flame-thrower smiling at the flames. Harry looked down at Ron and Hermione as they came out of their sleep. They both looked shocked at their outfits, but as the past days memories came flooding back they looked at each other and smiled. Ron grabbed Hermiones' hand, and she laid her head on his shoulder. At least now they didn't have to go through the awkward 'I love you' thing, Harry thought to himself.

"Sorry about everything, mate." Ron said to Harry.

"Harry, we had no control..." Hermione started to explain. Harry put up a hand to stop her.

"It's okay, I know everything," Harry told them. Hermione and Ron sighed with relief and settled back into their little hug they were having.

"Hey, I never knew you two could dance like that." Harry laughed at Ron and Hermione, as they blushed but still smiled nonetheless.

Everyone who passed Harry mumbled an apology for trying to attack him. The four friends headed back to the doors as they passed the teachers trying to regain their composure. They were all out of the rabbit outfits, except for Professor Flitwick who was playing with his ears.

"These rabbit suits are a lot of fun. I think I'm going to keep mine." Harry heard Professor Flitwick say to Hagrid.

Harry smiled to himself as they left the hall. He had Ginny back, Ron and Hermione were together, and all was right with Hogwarts. Now all he had to do was work out the Horcrux deal.

He missed the punch already.
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