4:46 p.m.
September 1st
Gryffindor Common Room


I want to make the fact known that I have never written in a diary before. I've never really felt the need to write something so personal on paper. It's probably the most incriminating thing a girl can do. But you're an "enchanted" diary, aren't you? Instead of placing a quill to you, all I have to do is speak to you and the words are written by themselves. Still, who's to say some sneak isn't riffling through my things and messing everything up?

Personally, I think Minnie McGonagall has the house elves go through our trunks, just to make sure something "inappropriate" isn't among our possessions. How else would the Professor have known that Gwenneth Baltimore had a collection of, admittedly, romantic novels on an advanced level? "Tasteless, unbecoming rubbish," McGonagall had said. "Far too inappropriate for impressionable teenage girls."

Cor. I mean, they weren't that bad. I mean, if you looked past the -

Oh! But I've gone off too far without introducing meself, haven't I? I tend to speak a lot without pausing or giving room for break, so feel free to jab me next time I start, eh?

First of all, m'name is Derry O'Keane. I hate my name though, so you shall only know me as "D", is that understood? Yes? Wonderful.

I am currently a seventeen year old student of Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry, and, if you didn't get that ever so subtle hint from me school's title, I am a witch.

Before you start visualizing me with green-tinted skin, warts, and stringy hair, would you give me a bleedin' chance? I do thank you for that.

First of all, I don't have green skin - unless I happen to stumble upon a Slytherin, as they're probably the most disgusting of creatures and often lead to vomitting - but I am quite pale and freckled. Pale as in, "shield your eyes from the blinding whiteness that is D O'Keane!". I burn retinas. I do. People are constantly toting around sunglasses because of me, but that's beside the point.

I am also a strawberry blonde. That's like being a red-head, but not quite so vibrant. "Derry", my name, also means to be red-headed, so you understand what kind of a household I came from. Irish household that is, so if I go off a bit crazy, you might know why.

When I was eleven.. and twelve.. and thirteen.. and maybe even fourteen and fifteen, I was sort of shortest in my year. This, along with my Irish tongue, red(ish) hair, and MILD temper, led to me nickname by my very favourite people, the Marauders. Yes, I was known as 'Leprechaun' for most of my years here. The first time it happened, about second week, a girl came to my rescue. Lily Evans. She was a real red-head you know, bloody-red if you can imagine. She already hated the Marauders and was quick to jump to my defence. Or their's, I suppose it could've been, as I was busy pummeling one of them, Black, into the ground. (I may be a girl, but me Da made sure his little girl had an impressive left hook).

It was that day that she and I became best friends. Later in the term, we added another girl, Valerie Perkins, to our group, and we soon became somewhat inseperable. We shared mutual disdain for those boys who so often picked on us and others, and a bond formed over it.

Who says Hate takes and never gives? I got the best mates a bird could ask for because of it.

---

7:53 p.m.
September 3rd
Girls' Dormitory

Dear Diary,
Greetings Friend,
Hello, Eduardo,

Now to continue with our introduction. It'll be more detailed, now, eh?

Me Mam thinks that family makes you who you are, so let's start with that.

I grew up in a small Irish village near the ocean. It was just me, me Mam, me Da, and me older brother Kip. Me and Kip went to school, played on the beach, and rode our draught horse, Sir MacKenzie, on our property's fields. Me Da was a carpenter and me Mam was something of a "volunteer", as she put it. She could never really hold a job, so she just did any old errand and took whatever pay she could get out of it. Mostly, she shopped for housewives too busy to do it themselves.

When I was eight me parents got in a bit of a spat and decided their marriage wasn't satisfying anymore. Me Da had just returned from the village's local Boozer and me Mam was upset about it. I don't exactly know why, exactly. An Irish man isn't worth nothing if he can't drink everyonce in a while.

But it mattered not, because the next day me Da left to England with Kip in the back of his car. I never was visited by them, but during the summers me Mam would pay the fare and I'd visit them. They had settled an hour from London, and the shopping was nice.

You must realise, that I never knew of my magical heritage until I received m'letter of acceptance. It came as a bit of a shock, and I was inclined to believe it was a prank by me best friends at the time, the MacFarley's boys, who were something of tricksters.

However, me Mam assured me it was no lie, and took out her wand. She explained what she could to me, and I asked if Da knew anything about it. He did, she said, and he was never very pleased with it, but he accepted me mother for who she was. Neither of us knew if Kip was Muggle like Da, or if he was merely a Squib, but Kip didn't mind either way, so we figured it to be a topic best left on its own.

So, that's me family life in a jar. Friends, now?

Of course I mentioned that Lily Evans was me best mate. She has been since first year, and I imagine her to be as we're both old and grey. Lily is something of a swot, but I wouldn't tell it to her - especially when she's in one of her foul moods. Mostly, these moods are bred because of Mr. James Potter, but we'll cover him and the others near the end.

Lily is prim and serious, but it doesn't take much to make her loosen up, IF she's not busy studying for Exams. I've learned the hard way that you never interrupt Ms. Evans when exams are upcoming.

She's easy to get along with, and perhaps the most loyal friend you could hope for. She's very fond of her beliefs and morals, and never hesitates to stand up for something or someone.

She's also Muggle-born, which is why our conversation never ceases. I'm Half-blood to be sure, but I grew up Muggle, so we can always talk about movies or books which Valerie may not be familar with.

Valerie is strictly pure-blood. Her whole family was in Ravenclaw, so it came as a bit of a shock when she was sorted into Gryffindor. Valerie's a bit of a snob, but she has a dry sense of humour that can be quite entertaining, as long as you're not the brunt of her joke. (I often find myself in this position). Her easy-going charm comes in handy when we receive a disapproving glance from a Professor. She could charm a free drink out of me town drunkard's hands, which is something.

The last of our group is Timothy Palmer, but we call him Teddy. He's a sweetie and a great listener. He listens to me dumb stories, Valerie's constant insults (often directed towards the Slytherins. Or me.) and Lily's lectures. I think he holds a flame for Lily, and it's not a well-kept secret, so this leads to excessive and unneccessary bullying from James Potter.

Which brings me to the Marauders. First, there's of course James Potter. He's one fourth of this group, and one halfth of the most popular boys in school. Girls are often flocking to him as he's Quidditch Captain, but I can honestly count on one hand how many dates he's been on. He's been waiting for Lily since he hit puberty, but she won't have anything of it. They're a comical pair, and seeing them together as the School's Heads has become better than my favourite t.v. show. I tune in regularily.

James' best friend would be Sirius Black. He's charming, elegant, and just as popular as James - if not more, I suppose. He's Hogwart's Hearthrob and Lady Killer, and doesn't shy away from the fact. He teases me more than I like also, so often I avoid him.

He is a good mate to drink with though, as he can't hold his liquor, so it's a fair laugh to see him staggering about, hitting on pillows and the fire mantle.

Peter Pettigrew is a short, stumpy boy with watery eyes and no charm, grace, talent, or anything that could resemble a complimenting virtue. I imagine the boys keep him about so he can laugh at their jokes, the few times that nobody else does. I even heard from a reliable source that he once wet his cacks as the group pulled of a prank. Just so you know, I didn't doubt this fact at all when I first heard it, which gives you a better idea of what Pettigrew's like. He's a bit dense, but he's always been polite to me, so I sometimes grace him with a nod of my head.

Lastly, there is him. That bloke Remus Lupin. The boy who owns my heart and mistreats it so. Everyone knows about me fancying him, which is fine by me. I've staked my claim and now everyone knows the lad's mine. I do hate is so when those Ravenclaw girls bat their eyelashes at him. Don't they understand that he's taken?

In any case, Remus indulges me when it comes to me little crush. I do hope he doesn't find me as bothersome as Lily finds Potter, but even if he did it wouldn't dissuade me all that much. We study together every Thursday afternoon, and it's basically the highlight of my week. One of these days he'll wisen up and ask me to go with him. You'll see.

---

September 4th
5:34 p.m.
Great Hall

Hello, Eduardo,

This morning Valerie woke me up as pleasantly as she always does. Really, this meant she jumped on my bed, pinned me down, and tickled me until tears leaked from my ever-lovin' eyes.

Lily was wrapping her crimson and gold tie around her neck as she strolled past my bed, and I swear I saw the corner of her mouth twitch. Tickling me so I wake has become a bit of a tradition with Valerie and myself. It's so much more effective than an alarm clock. Who's to push a snooze when your sides are aching and muscles tensing? I ask you that.

Anyway, we took our showers respectively (save Lily, who was reading my diary. I have no problem with that, really. I tell them everything I tell you, Eduardo.) She did comment on my name for you, the rat, but I informed her I was very fond of Latino lovers, and she left it at that.

We left together for the Great Hall and sat down where we always do, at the end. Valerie at the end with me at her side, and Lily across from me. Teddy soon slipped in beside Lily, across from Valerie, and Potter soon slipped to Lily's available side. This led to Sirius by James, Remus on the other side with me (Clear the table! I'm going to dance!) and Peter beside Remus.

Potter was greeted by four identical glares (that would be myself, Lily, Valerie, and Teddy) and in turn we were returned with four glares (that would be the Marauders). I hoped Remus was averting his gaze purposely. This stare-down went on for I'm quite sure was ten minutes before the empty plates filled themselves with food.

Potter turned to Lily and smiled widely.

"Potter," she said. "What do you want?"

"You," he answered promptly, with no shame.

"I'm not for sale, Potter. I, for one, don't believe in slavery."

Potter looked hurt, then turned to me. "Top of the mornin' to ye," with an inclination of his head.

I was often greeted in such a manner, so I replied, "and the rest of the day to yerself."

The group enjoyed playful banter and comfortable conversation for the rest of the meal, before the crumbs vanished and the students lined up for classes. Seventh year Gryffindors had Potions first, so the eight of us headed for the dungeons. I took slower than neccessary steps, of course, because Remus was laden with several textbooks, and he had little to say at breakfast.

As I matched his pace, I did notice that his complexion was fairer than normal. Remus claimed to have a horrible immune system, which means he's very vulnerable to illness. I imagined he had a cold of some sort, so I offered him my hankerchief. He declined, but smiled at me, so I ambled into class with an extra bounce to my step.

In Potions we seperated into partners. I was with Teddy while Lily and Valerie paired. Both Teddy and James looked a little hurt that neither were considered. I would have been offended that Teddy showed so little enthusiasm at being my partner, but remember Eduardo, Remus had just smiled at me.

Gods. Did I ever have it bad.

The class was rather uneventful. Slughorn nearly wet his cacks as he observed Lily and Valerie's potion. Perfect, per usual. He made a similar expression at mine and Teddy's, but for a very different reason.

The potion was supposed to be a royal purple, but ours looked like mud. Dirty, stinky, and bubbling mud.

Fan-bloody-tastic.

September 6th
6:56 p.m.
Hiding in the Girl's Lavatories


You know what's frustrating, Eduardo? You know what really cheeses me off? It's that every time I open me cake-hole to say something witty and clever, and so captivating to Remus, something god awful happens to spill out! This isn't a slightly embaressing comment 'bout the weather. No, no. Y'see, ain't a way angels in heaven would let me off that easy - I'm quick to assure you.

I do believe the conversation went something like this:

"How're you today, Derry? You look a bit pale."

There're two mistakes to this. One: MY NAME IS D. Remus however, is allowed to call me Derry should he please. He could also call me 'Queen of the Dirtiest, Rattiest, Most Obscene Deformities' if he'd like, and I'd probably purr. He doesn't though, because it'd be awfully impolite, and probably somewhat ridiculous.

And two: I'm already pale as snow, but it was nice of him to care for me well-being. See, Eduardo? He harbors complete devotion to me as well. You were a fool to doubt me.

To continue, I replied like this:

"Don't worry your pretty little head over it, Remus, darling. Just paying me duty to Eve's Curse."

I have never seen a boy pale so fast in me entire life! If he thought I had been worse in colour, he should've seen his face!

Yes, Eduardo. I was not mistaken to warn you. Y'see, I broke the cardinal rule of the Girl's Code. I shared with a boy I'd be only too happy to snog that I was having me period.

I could kill myself - truely, I could. When I'm with that ONE bloke, it just - goes - wrong.

I act like an idiot. I look like an idiot. I feel like an idiot.

...

The evidence is overwhelming.

---

Later
9:09 p.m.
Girl's Dormitory


Hello, Eduardo,

No, I did not kill myself.

Yes, I did consider it.

Yes, it was Valerie who stopped me.

Yes, somewhat reluctantly.

No, I didn't appreciate it at all.

---

September 7th
8:23 a.m.
Great Hall

Hello, Eduardo,

Mam sent me a letter today. Truely fascinating, that bird is. She went on and on about how she was 'carded' at the grocery store as she tried to pick up her daily hourly pack of cigs. Eduardo, you smooth latin lover you, should you ever try to win the heart of me mother, remember this one thing:

The biggest compliment you can give me mother, is to assume she's too young to drink or smoke.

Merlin, will she ever love you if it came to that.

Anyway, you should also know me mother is constantly "hopin' fer a soapin'", as me Da used to put it. She spends hours infront of our television set watching her "stories". Apparently, (and she used more than neccessary exclamation marks for this, so you know it's important) Calita and Rhett are finally together, as they should be, despite Calita's sordid affair with Morpeous, the troublesome but misunderstood rebel, during the time Rhett was comatose due to being hit by a car by his ex-wife's second cousin who was engaged to Elvis Costello or something equally alarming and confusing.

In any case, it nearly eclipsed the real reason of her letter.

Me Da is remarried.

He eloped! He sent me Mam a letter to inform her, and worse, she's thrilled for him!

That lousy, good for nothing, slimy, deceitful, SELFISH eejit didn't even drop me one decent letter. I don't even know her name. I don't know how old she is, or how long they've known each other, or what Kip thinks of her. To be true though, Kip is a horrible judge of character, so I suppose that's all as well, because she could be You-Know-Who and he'd think she had the most wonderful table manners.

Merlin! What if she's You-Know-Who? Is that possible?

...Why would You-Know-Who have dinner with Kip and Da?

Oh Gods, Eduardo, I've scarred myself.

...

Do you think she's prettier than Mam?

---

September 8th
7:28 p.m.
Gryffindor Common Room

Hello, Eduardo,

I've sent a letter to me Da, so when he replies, you'll be the first to know.

Actually, no. I suppose me real actually alive and breathing friends will be first.

But you'll come soon enough. Don't pull that look, eh?

Anyways, to add to me teen-angst, Remus has avoided me since what shall only be know as 'The Incident'.

I preferred 'The End of My World as I Know it To Be', but Valerie said I was being melodramatic and told me to shut my gob. Why I put up with that snob is beside me, but I suppose it's because she's the only one who knows how to put on mascara without it getting clumpy or goopy in the corner of your eye. I suppose you don't know what I mean by that, as you are not only a bloke, but a book at that, and not a person with eyelashes, but it simply must be known that that girl is a magician with a cosmetic wand. I suppose being a Magical Being helps with that, but that's entirely beside the point, Eduardo.

Lily did what she could to comfort me. What that means is that she got a fifth year prefect to sneak into the kitchen and bring back snacks for us. If you are wondering how many pastries I can fit in me stomach without feeling nauseous, then the answer is seven.

After that, everything got a little hazy..

---

September 10th
10:22 a.m.
Transfiguration Classroom

Hello, Eduardo,

I do hope McGonagall doesn't glance me way. It sure would be an inconvienence if she caught me whispering to me diary instead of practising me spell work.

Anyways, I started me morning with as much grace as I could possibly muster. Lily and Valerie had already left for breakfast, so I stumbled into the Common Room after taking a shower and escorted Teddy to the Great Hall. This didn't go grand, because as soon as we stepped out of the Portrait Hole were we apprehended by the Marauders. I was not particularily pleased about this, because Remus was avoiding me eyes, and he had turned a rather dashing shade of pink.

Yes, I wanted Remus to blush around me, but Meeeerlin, not like that! Please, please, please grant me the use of a Time Turner!

I promise to use it for only good, and not evil.

Well, our stroll as a group of six was less than pleasant. James had slung his arm around me shoulder and had given me a grin, and like usual said, "Top of the mornin' to ye."

I was not in the mood, so I replied, "Feck off!" Loudly, and.. not nicely. Teddy was beaming.

"HEY!" yelled James, looking somewhat stricken.

"Well there it is," said Sirius, looking rather smug as he patted the slumped shoulder of a disappointed James. "D's used the "F" word."

Peter frowned, looking around with a dazed expression upon his ugly mug before answering, "I think she said 'feck'."

"What's the difference?" snapped James, crossing his arms across his chest and pouting behind my back.

"The letter 'u'," replied Remus, drawing the letter in the air with his wand. He was smiling, but quickly frowned when I sent him an appreciative grin.

Pfft. Boys can rot in the ditch for all I care.


A/N: I have to make a few notes before all of you who have read this leave a review of appreciation, riiight? Yes, that's right.

Anyway, 'hopin' fer a soapin' belongs to the one and only Ned Flanders from the Simpsons. I believe he threatened Rod or Todd with washing out his mouth by saying this. In any case, it's not mine.

Second, the whole "feck" scene with D, Teddy, and the Marauders was stolen from my favourite movie, 'Almost Famous'. If you haven't seen it, I strongly urge you to rent it. It's great.

September 12th
1:23 a.m.
Great Hall

Hello, Eduardo,

It was at dinner that Lily passed me a note with an extremely secretive glance before she swiftly departed, presumably for her Head Girl rounds. Now, I have to say, I was extremely excited. I don't often get notes since me friends are quick to blurt things out anyhow, or people just generally don't find me important enough to share their news. So it was, Eduardo, with trembling hands that I ripped into the parchment to sample some hopefully delicious bits of gossip.

Instead, I was treated with : Emergency girl meeting tonight in the dormitories. It's about Valerie.

Valerie? Valerie? What could Valerie have possibly done, I asked meself, Ed. I mean, her acid tongue does get her into a few scraps to be sure, but she's usually quick to charm herself out of them. And not only that, but the girl is tough stuff. The very finest. If ever there was an Amazon Warrior Queen walking through Hogwart's Halls, then I'd vote for Val. She's a bit frosty, you know, should you get on her bad side.

So I stuffed down me Shepards Pie and glanced around, hoping Remus wasn't watching with expressions of varying disgust. He wasn't, which both pleased and disappointed me.

Couldn't he tell that this ravishing beauty was in need of a confidant? A trusted friend? Oh, I don't know.. a soul mate?

Probably not. The insufferable swot.

Oh, right, to carry on. It was with this that I stuffed me biscuit in me mouth and tottered off. After making a quick stop - (to me storing place. Can't have it in the dorm you see, as people would be grabbing what's not their's) - I was pushing open the door to our shared room, fingering the object I'd been quick to snatch.

"Hope this isn't a real emergency," I greeted, hopping onto Lily's bed, who was busy comforting a sullen Valerie. "I've only brought one bottle of Firewhiskey, see."

Eduardo, the Irish have always been victims of negative stereotyping. I mean, people think that we’re all drunks and brawlers. And sometimes that gets you so mad, all you want to do is get drunk and punch somebody.* And as true as this is it becomes a bit of an inconvenience, especially when one's best friend just lost her boyfriend to a man-eating, horse faced, good for nothing skirt lifter by the name of Sally Hampson.

Surprisingly, Lily grabbed the bottle from me (which I had admittedly Engorgified) took a sip, and saluted it to Valerie, who looked equally alarmed to see Lily drink anything stronger than butterbeer. Grinning, the redhead (who I decided was under the Imperius Curse) opened her mouth and bellowed a familar Irish drinking toast:

"Here's a toast to your enemy's enemies!"

I didn't mention that it was I who taught her that, as I thought it might've ruined a 'moment', so I instead sent Valerie a wink. "Sally Hampson's enemies? Oh, I know them well."

Valerie, blessed child, wiped away some traitorous tears before sitting up. "Do you think those enemies might get drunk tonight?"

Ah, and we did.

---

September 13th
11:45 a.m.
Gryffindor Common Room

Eduardo!!!!!!!!!!!!

You can tell by me amount of exclamation marks that I am more concerned about sharing some news with you than be grammatically correct. In fact, for good measure, let me add:

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You see, Eduardo? I can be happy. D O'Keane can be the sunniest child on this end of the earth. She can laugh, she can skip, and she can smack Remus Lupin with her ever-loving lips. That's right, love. And I was even wearing my strawberry lipgloss. Me best stuff.

Truthfully, me morning started royally awful. I had a splitting headache, no sleep a't'all, and my hair was frizzing. I compensated that by spending extra time on me makeup, and for a Saturday, I looked all right. Me owl, Dennis, was waiting (quite surprisingly) in the common room for me with a Muggle-made envelope tied 'round his left foot. I already knew it was Da, and since I was quite angry at him, snubbed it for all two seconds before curiosity took over. I knew what it was about of course. Here was the time when he apologzied far too many times and would offer to buy me something that sparkles to make up for it.

Eduardo, I cannot claim to be always right - just look at my History of Magic essay mark - but this was quite the spin. The bleedin' bastard told me that her name was Fiona, told me that she was six years his junior, told me she was a delightful cook, and TOLD me that I was expected to attend her family's Christmas Dinner.

Hahahahahaha. That would've made a nice joke. I laughed at that one, really. Except, I soon realised he was serious. Completely, even. I cannot remember the last time me Da was completely serious. Didn't know he had it in him.

So, if you know me, (and you do) you can imagine the cuss words that were flowing from me lips. It would've been a shame to hold them in, since if there's one thing I can do to help me fellow man, it's to teach the first years some advanced vocabulary. So it was with this, cursin' a blue streak, that Remus Lupin -

..Had to wipe off a drool stain there, Ed. Don't mind.

- walked into the Gryffindor Common Room looking appropriately ruffled. I didn't notice at the time since I was busy biting into a red pillow which had a curious stain on it. (More on that later). Fact is, I didn't even see the bloke until he was right behind me laughing his bleedin' head off.

I turned around. As entertaining as this way for him, my jaw was starting to hurt, and my tongue was not too pleased with polyester rubbing against it. I believe I stared at him blankly for quite a while, before saying something incrediably witty as 'hello', or 'how's it goin', there?'

He asked me if I was all right, I said yes, he said that's good, looked at my letter, then to me. I told him my subscription to Witch Weekly had ran dry as I didn't want to bring up me family to him. Next thing I'd be spoutin' off some rubbish tale of my childhood.

Then Eduardo, (and this really is the best part) I jumped up, grabbed his face with both hands, and kissed him as if my life depended on it.

And then I ran away.

Just call me D O'Keane - Hogwart's residential rockstar.

---

Later
8:59 p.m.
Gryffindor Common Room

Hello, Eduardo,

At lunch, Lily gave me an assignment with Teddy and Valerie looking at me eagerly. Truthfully, I was a bit miffed that I had to do it, since me Charms homework wasn't getting any lighter, but Lily said that she really didn't want to talk to the Marauders (by that, she means James) and that she would let me copy her homework if I did it. I was going to push harder, as I realised that she really didn't want to do it, but she just gave me that 'do you really want to go there' look, and I chose to back off.

We Irish, we prefer to get what we can out of a situation until our arses get kicked for it. I consider meself quite learned to have gotten out of it before I could get hexed. Smart girl, I am.

So mid-way through lunch I slipped from our end of the table towards James and Sirius. Remus and Peter were thankfully absent, because I really didn't want to stutter through a conversation with Remus, and Peter mostly stared at me (any girl, really) until he got caught for it. The boys looked a little surprised to see me, and James tentatively said, 'top of the morning to ye', looking ready to bolt should it be called for. I swear, when I returned the customary reply, it looked like that he would wet himself, he looked so pleased.

"I need a favour."

I have never seen two sets of eyes turn so manipulative in my entire life. It was shiver-worthy, truely. Lily told me they would look like that, but I wasn't any more prepared for it then I would've been if the whole staff had run down the aisles starkers.

They stared at me until I realised they were waiting for me to elaborate. "You see, I'm in need of your services. There's this person that I want to get back at for doing something.. wrong. (I didn't want to embaress Valerie by saying too much). And I figured you were the lads to turn to, as I need.. well, ultimately, it's a prank I'm in need of."

Two faces sported identical grins. "We can help you," replied Sirius.

"But we'll need something out of it, as well," continued James, steepling his fingers and gazing overtop them importantly.

I faltered here. I had no money to offer them, or anything else of value. "Well, what do you want?" I asked - a cautious question.

Before I knew it, they were huddled together, whispering and turning to look at me every few seconds. I blushed crimson, because I knew if it was too bad, then the others would skin me alive for making a bad deal. After what seemed like twenty minutes, they turned to me.

Sirius was first. "9 o'clock, every night for this week, I expect you to meet me in the common room where you'll give me a back rub. Homework has been rather stressful lately." He gave me a coy smile.

That wasn't bad at all. I could do that.

James instead grinned. "I expect you to help me get a date with Evans."

Pause, then: "Deal!"

Oh, I was so dead.

---

A/N:

* = quote from Black Donnellys, a show I do miss. =(