Chapter One: R. A. B.

COWARD!

The word echoed in Severus Snape’s brain, and he felt more angry than he had in nearly three years – not since Sirius Black had escaped the Dementor’s Kiss. And that was thanks to Potter too. Damn him! I have served Dumbledore more than anyone! I lied while taking an Unbreakable Vow! I protected his secrets! And Potter accused me of cowardice! Damn him! Damn him for being right! Snape knew he was indeed a coward, but not tonight. His failure in courage came nearly twenty years ago and cost him dearly. His spinelessness killed the woman that he loved. Yes, Severus thought adamantly, I once was a coward, but not tonight, what I did tonight took nerve.

“Professor?� Severus could hardly focus on the boy with him. He needed to concentrate. He needed to regain his composure. He needed to proceed with the plan.

“Silence, Malfoy!� Snape hissed and reached into his pocket. He was irritated by the ludicrous scheme – the not knowing and following someone else’s orders yet again. He wanted desperately to feel in control of the situation. He needed some control.

“I— �the boy started to speak.

“I said: silence.� Snape’s demeanor gave no hint of emotion to the boy, but deep inside the inner recesses of his mind there was a storm. Nearly twenty years of feelings he had kept bottled were waiting to explode. He had, after all, just killed the most powerful, revered wizard of his time, a man who was like a father to him. The guilt was almost more than he could bear, but he had to bury it. It was the only way for the stratagem to work. He had to remain the cool, calm, Severus Snape that most of the people whom he respected utterly despised, for now the only two people who knew the real Severus were dead. He shuddered slightly as he pulled a short, wand-looking object out of his pocket and grabbed Draco’s arm just before pushing the end of the item with his thumb, letting a Portkey suck them away.

Severus soon noted that he and the boy were in a horrible, dilapidated shack. There was dust everywhere and the furniture was torn to shreds. Before he could say a word, there was a bang of someone Apparating and he saw Draco’s mother standing next to the wretched looking hag that Albus Dumbledore had mysteriously introduced him to earlier.

“Draco!� His mother ran to him sobbing. “I’ve been so worried.�

“Petrificus Totalus!� The hag’s curse hit the Malfoys. She then pointed her wand at Severus.

He raised his wand too. He was sick of this old woman and her cryptic orders. For nearly a year now she had sent him scanty instructions from Dumbledore, but he knew something was amiss. It was time to end this. Perhaps, he could enter her thoughts and find out her intentions.

“Don’t even think it, Severus,� the old woman hissed sardonically, glaring at him with a scowl of fury on her face.

“I need answers, now. I have been patient but I refuse be kept in the dark any longer.� Snape kept his unemotional demeanor, but allowed his cold, black eyes to stare daggers of intimidation.

“You took an Unbreakable Vow, Severus, so don’t think you can coerce me. I will not tolerate your pugnacious attitude. You pledged to obey my orders or suffer the consequences.� The hag began to pull off the hooded cloak.

“I will have an explanation-�

“Of course, Severus, I am sure it will be clear to you and to young Draco momentarily.� As she finished her words, the hag turned toward Draco and his mother, scrunched her face as if in deep concentration, all the while keeping her wand directed at Severus Snape.

To his surprise, the professor saw the hag’s face contort and change. Soon, standing in the hag’s place was a beautiful, young witch. Her honey-colored hair was chin length and Severus Snape found himself looking into the steely-grey eyes of the woman he loved so long ago, but it could not be her; she had been murdered years before. “If this is your idea of a joke, woman, I can tell you it is cruel.� His voice was still cold and distant, not reflecting an ounce of the anguish that looking into those eyes brought bubbling to the surface of his conscience.

“Explain to me how this could be a joke, you fool!� Her eyes were hard and angry, nothing like he remembered. “Who would know to play a joke like this, Severus?�

The truth of her words hit him with the force of an Unforgivable Curse as Severus realized that for the first time in nearly twenty years he was face to face with his wife. There was so much that he wanted to say, but words failed him for the second time that night, and he only managed to whisper, “Richelle.�

“So, you did think I was dead.� Her tone was bitter, and Severus could not help but wonder where she had been for all of these years. How was it that she was standing before him?

He dropped his wand to his side and started to take a step towards her.

“No, Severus. Stay where you are.� She held her wand aiming directly at his heart.

“Richelle, how can this be? Your body? I carried your body back to your uncle myself.�

“You shall understand in due time.� The witch turned toward Draco and smiled slightly before pointing her wand at the doorways and windows, uttering charms beneath her breath. She looked at Snape and nodded her head toward Draco and his mother. “They’ll be coming out in a minute and I want to make sure we can’t be heard. All noises in here will just sound like shrieks to anyone who passes.�

Snape saw realization flicker across Draco’s countenance.

“Yes, Draco, we’re in the Shrieking Shack.� Richelle turned toward him. “You need to close your mind, boy. And no, the Order won’t find us. I am in hiding and my Secret Keeper cannot be contacted by anyone; in fact, everyone thinks he’s dead too, but he is resting comfortably at the finest magical hospital in the Riviera.�

He had forgotten her keen skills at penetrating other’s minds. Like her uncle, she possessed uncanny skills as a Legilimens; she was able to acquire thoughts without even casting a spell. Severus’s thoughts were racing; in fact, he nearly missed what she was telling them.

She turned her head to Snape as she continued, “I took him there just before I retrieved Narcissa.�

“You mean,� A sense of relief ebbed over his expression, and for a moment he nearly let his face warp into a smile.

“Yes, Severus, he’s fine – well, he’s alive at least.� She glared at him again.

Snape’s face regained its usual scowl, as if he did not dare trust what the witch was implying. “How?�

“In time, Severus.�

“No,� Severus refused to accept another delay in leaning the truth. “I need to know what is happening, Richelle.�

“You’ll just have to wait, Severus.� She turned to him and Severus discerned a flicker in her eyes. He knew she was hiding something from him. “For now, if you must know, he asked me to return after the debacle at the Mininstry. Remember our Vow, Severus. In his office, he was the one who Bound us.�

“I -" Snape couldn’t take his eyes off of her; he felt foolish. “I cannot believe I didn’t know it was you.�

“You have no idea-� she paused, her eyes softening a bit before pointing her wand at the Malfoys. “Accio Wands!�

Snape noticed that Draco could move again, but she had the boy’s wand now.

Richelle’s eyes softened and she smiled slyly at the boy. “I can’t take any chances, Draco. I told you to close your mind.�

“Richelle? Chelle, darling, is it really you?� Narcissa had tears flowing from her eyes. Neither Severus nor Draco had noticed Narcissa’s tears.

“Yes, Cissy. I’ll tell you everything soon; we have eighteen years to relive.� Richelle moved to Narcissa and embraced her sweetly. “You will know where I have been, why I had gone, and what I have done tonight. But first let me inspect our Draco. I want to see his eyes.�

Severus saw the boy stiffen as Richelle approached him, and Narcissa’s face grew more pale.

“He looks a lot like Lucius, but his eyes,� she smiled warmly at Draco and continued, “My eyes – those are Bowen eyes. It’s nice to meet you Draco. I’m, well, I guess I’m your auntie.�

Severus nearly laughed at Draco’s dumbfoundedness. Rarely was the boy at a loss for words. He noted too the relief that spread across Narcissa’s face, and realization hit him again. Richelle suspected that Draco had not been Lucius’s child. How could she have known? He tried to squash these ponderings, but one look in her eyes and he knew it was too late. She had suspected the truth all along. Is that why she did not return?

“I can see that your father never told you of his sister,� she heaved a sigh, “half sister I should say. I was an indiscretion of our mother’s; Abraxas, your grandfather, allowed her to keep me only if I kept her family name and she claimed I was an orphaned niece. Mother’s impropriety was embarrassing enough, but Abraxas hated my father’s family so desperately. Lucius is a bit older, but we were quite close growing up.�

When Draco did not respond, Richelle continued. “It’s a shame Lucius didn’t tell you more about her. He was a devoted son and Mother, well, she loved him so much. We lost her the summer I before I left for Hogwarts.�


“After I went to Hogwarts, I never returned to my childhood home. I spent all of my holidays with my uncle, my real father’s brother, as he was a professor there. I also spent time with my best friend’s family. Abraxas was not my biggest fan, one could say. Your father and I, well, we rarely saw each other after he finished his NEWTS. He never quite forgave me for the fact that I was not a Slytherin – yes, I am a pureblood, but I am more bold than cunning apparently. As time progressed, my relationship with my brother was quite strained – we saw things very differently. Narcissa was, however, quite good to me. She would see me in Daigon Alley and Hogsmeade on occasion. She tried to take me in and give me a sense of family.�

Narcissa smiled nervously. Severus saw the women exchange a smile. Narcissa was not the only witch to be good to her and take her in, he thought to himself and felt another pang of guilt begin to brew.


“So, you’re my aunt.� Severus was relieved the boy finally spoke. He was anxious to move past the family history and into the situation at hand.

“Yes,� she smiled and extended her hand, “Richelle Arva Bowen.�

Her eyes left Draco and returned to Snape, who had regained his cold composure while the witch had been distracted with Draco. Severus knew that she was trying to access his thoughts. Could he let her in?

“Richelle,� Snape was now hardening his eyes once again. He had to have answers from her, but he was not going to give her admittance to his wits. “I need - �

“Severus, I think we’re all a bit too tired for this tonight.� Her eyes were just as hard as his were, just as cold. For a moment, though, he understood. He and Richelle could not have a real conversation with Narcissa and Draco present. They had much to say to each other, and it needed to be said in private. He saw her conjuring beds and muttering charms while he felt himself grow very sleepy.


Severus woke early the next morning and could not remember climbing into the bed where he found himself resting. He saw that Richelle was sitting at the decrepit table sipping a cup of tea. It reminded him of their few, precious mornings together. She always rose first and enjoyed a cup of tea before waking him.

“Best not to go there, Severus,� she was engaged in The Daily Prophet and did not even look at him. “This is not the time for a trip down Memory Lane.�

“Richelle,� he stood and walked over to the table, but she ignored his movement. “I do not understand what has happened. Why did you let me think you were dead? How could you do that to me?�

“I don’t think I’m ready to talk about this, Severus.� She seemed to be calm to him, too calm.

“Not ready!� Severus was infuriated but he struggled to maintain his steely poise. “I have spent the last eighteen years thinking you were dead – I don’t care if you’re ready. Frankly, I feel I deserve to know why.�

There was a long pause. Severus waited but could feel her obstinacy. He had to coax her. “Richelle, I need to know.�

“I had to save my life.� She took another sip of tea and kept staring at the newspaper.

“Why did you need to save your life, Richelle? If you were in danger-� before he could finish his statement, Richelle turned to him, her silver eyes dancing with an angry fire.

“What? Was I supposed to turn to you?�

“I would have done anything to protect you.� Severus remained calm.

“That’s a lie.� Her words slapped him.

“Richelle, you knew that I loved – �

“Oh, yes! I knew exactly what you loved: power! And you would do anything for power, wouldn’t you, Severus?�

“If you are referring to my association with Lord Voldemort, then – �

“Don’t try to tell me I don’t know the truth about your association with him, Severus.�

“You are overreacting again.� His expression was neutral and he pursed his lips tightly. They only argued a few times, but he remembered the pattern – she would need to completely loose all rational thought in order to move past her anger. He needed for her to throw a tantrum; he recalled that she could be quite good at throwing fits.

“Don’t you dare patronize me!� Her eyes looked wild, and Severus knew that she was on the brink of losing control. He knew that he needed to employ an irritatingly soothing tone now.

“I am not patronizing you, Richelle. I merely want to know why my wife thought it best to play dead for the last eighteen years. I want to know why she thought she had to be dead in order to save herself. That seems reasonable to me.�

“You want to know why?� Her eyes narrowed at him even more and Severus could feel her defenses building. “Because I tried to save the man that I loved, Severus. But I was a little too reckless and Voldemort found out.�

Her words stung him, and he felt defensive. There was nothing he hated more than someone else rescuing him from anything. “Perhaps he neither wanted nor needed your saving.�

The silence was deafening and Severus immediately wished that he could swallow those words. It wasn’t the first time he had reacted with a snide remark when a beautiful woman tried to protect him. It wasn’t even the first time he had reacted that way to Richelle.

“I did what I had to do,� she stated defiantly. Severus noted that she was calming herself down, and it angered him. How could she be so smug?

“No matter what it cost,� Snape hissed. Anger was surfacing again – he wanted desperately for this to be her fault. “You did not think of the consequences, Richelle. You are too impulsive.�

“I knew what I was doing. The consequences were a chance I felt that I had to take.�

Severus let out a regretful sigh. She was right, of course. He had put her in that position; his cowardice eighteen years ago put her in that position. He wanted to kick himself and Harry Potter.

“So,� she continued, her voice softening slightly. “I did what I had to do to destroy Voldemort. I had to destroy him to keep my love from turning into something I could not love.�

Severus hated those words. He could not stand the thought that she could not love him. He was sure that she could not stop her feelings any more than he could stop his own. He gestured as if to touch her face, but she pulled away.

“How silly I was to think that I could bring Voldemort down by myself! I just wish I had turned to Albus sooner, and still, I wish I had told him everything I knew. If I had confided in him then I could have prevented so many deaths. Instead, I relied on my skills in Occlumency, so that he couldn’t see who I was protecting.�

Snape felt like she had punched him. “How did you leave?�

“I don’t want to get into that now. Albus helped me, just leave it at that.�

“I took you to him.�

“You thought you did,� she hesitated. “I Transfigured a rock to look like my body.�

“Why didn’t … � He wanted to ask her why she did not return after Voldemort’s demise. His pause revealed his question to her.

“Too much happened, Severus!� Richelle’s voice began shaking with anger and grief.

“I didn’t know he would kill her,� Snape’s voice was barely audible. “I was just so lost without you. The Death Eaters were all I had. When I realized what the Dark Lord intended to do with the information I gave him, I went to Dumbledore right away. I risked my life trying to make it right. I am still risking my life trying to make it right. I have protected her son for six years now.�

“That doesn’t change the fact that my dearest friend is dead, does it?� Tears filled her silver eyes, and Severus could see that she was working to hold them inside. “Severus, Lily took me into her family. She helped us be together. How could you?�

“Richelle, please.� Snape inched toward her. “It was a mistake, one of my biggest regrets.�

“I don’t know if I can ever forgive you, Severus. I can’t even forgive myself.� Her voice trembled. Severus recognized this as the point in which he could say something, anything that could soften her anger. The trembling voice had always been the mark that the row was nearly over.

“How did I ever get you to love me?�

At the question, Richelle chuckled just a little. “If I recall, I was amazed by your keen ability with potions, not my best subject we both know, and the tone of your voice when you spoke to some of our more daft schoolmates. Plus there was that whole dysfunctional family bond-�

Her smile was all he needed. Snape gently touched Richelle’s face and attempted to draw her into a kiss, their first in nearly two decades, but she pulled away before their lips actually met.

“Severus, this isn’t the time,� Richelle admonished him while removing what looked like a tear from her cheek. “I need to wake Draco and Narcissa. I need you all to know what our plan is before the funeral starts this afternoon.�

“Richelle,� Snape hesitated briefly finding his next question a bit awkward. “Have you, well, have you found someone else?�

“I am not alone, if that is what you are asking.�

“So,� he expressed an angry huff, “you moved on without ever letting me know the truth.�

“It’s been eighteen years, Severus. I know you haven’t spent each night alone. In fact, I know you didn’t wait eighteen months much less eighteen years.� Richelle glanced over her shoulder as Draco and Narcissa emerged from the hall. “We’ll finish this later.�

Patience, Severus recalled as the others joined them, was a virtue that neither he nor his wife possessed in great abundance.

“We will travel before the funeral starts,� Richelle began after she finished her sausages. “The Order will be occupied with the ceremony and the Death Eaters will not be snooping around Hogsmeade then.�

“Richelle, please tell us everything,� Narcissa implored.

“Well,� she handed Draco the latest edition of The Daily Prophet. “While you slept, I was busy making things just a little safer for the three of you.�

Draco read aloud from the lead story. “Narcissa Malfoy was found dead in home just past midnight last evening. Ironically, an hour later, her son Draco and Professor Severus Snape were also found dead just outside of Hogsmeade…� He stared perplexed at his aunt.

“I Transfigured some pebbles to resemble your bodies. Both sides think you are dead, but the spells will only last seven days. That’s why we must flee today. I am working on getting you new identities. You will be joining us at my home.�

“Us?� Snape questioned. He did not know if he could bear meeting her new companion.

“Albus and I, of course.�

“You mean Dumbledore?� Draco’s tone implied that couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“Oh, Draco. Albus was right to worry about you. Your skills in Occulumency match mine in Herbology – Troll! You would be dead in days.�

Draco appeared to be stunned, but he wasn’t the only one. Narcissa’s eyes were as large as boulders and Severus found himself awestruck too.

“When Albus detected what you intended, Draco, he contacted me and set forth our plan. As I was dead to this world, it was rather easy for me to move around unnoticed. The plan is rather complicated, and we’ll have more time to discuss it later, but you should know that he is alive.�

Narcissa nodded her head.

There was a quiet knock at the backdoor.

“No need to worry,� Richelle confidently strode to the door. While no one appeared to be there, the air filled with a smell of goats. Then suddenly a man appeared whom Draco recognized as the man who tended the bar at the Hog’s Head. Richelle quickly brought him inside and gave him a hug.

“The funeral will start in an hour or so,� he muttered hurriedly. “I had to use the cloak because Hogsmeade is swarming with wizards. They’ll all be at the funeral, though. Everything here will be closed. You should be able to Apparate easily without being noticed.�

“Thank you, Pop,� she smiled, “for everything. This past year, well, it has been nice getting to know you.�

“Have you settled things?� Aberforth Dumbledore looked at his daughter with deep concern.

“Not now, Pop. Too much going on. I will though; I promise. You will visit as soon as you can?� Her eyes were brimming with unshed tears.

“I cannot wait to see all of you. I’ll miss you,� the man nodded to the others, put on his cloak, and walked out the door.

Richelle looked sad, and Severus walked over to her putting his hand on her shoulder. She didn’t pull away.

“Richelle, I am still in a quandary.� He knew what he had to say to her, but he did not want to think of being away from her ever again. “I thought the plan was for me to return to the Dark Lord, so that I could help Potter.�

She looked up at him -- her grey eyes were misty. “Well, Severus, part of the plan didn’t work. Albus was weakened by a potion and his spell to make Harry unconscious failed. It merely froze him. So Harry, he saw you and he alerted the rest of the Order of your betrayal.�

“But Albus and I knew that might happen,� Severus had known the risks of the plan all along, and while he didn’t like them, he had finally accepted them. Of course, at the time, he did not think he had any reason to live.

“Well, I am not taking any chances. I explained to Albus that I would bring you with Draco and Cissy. I have arranged it so that you are dead here.�

“Richelle, I have obligations here.� Snape’s lips pursed together to reinforce his point. He hated knowing that he should return to Voldemort.

“Severus, please, do not argue with me.� This time she moved in closer. “I have sacrificed a lot for this war, nearly twenty years of happiness, so I will not lose you to him or to death.�

“Richelle, what are you saying?� He felt hopeful – perhaps it was not too late for them. Perhaps he had obligations to himself, not the wizarding world after all.

“Don’t read too much into it, Severus. I haven’t forgiven you, but I haven’t stopped loving you either. You still own my heart.� She turned to Draco and Narcissa, “Are you ready?�

“Richelle, I don’t know. How I will ever?� Narcissa started, but her sister-in-law wouldn’t let her finish.

“Cissy, you are my family – you and Draco. Don’t give it another thought.�

Severus noticed the relief ebb all over Draco’s face. It was as if Draco finally felt like he was getting a way out, a way out of the hole his father had dug for him when Lucius sold his soul to the Dark Lord. Severus noticed that Richelle was observing her nephew closely.

“Shall we go?�

Severus walked over to them and placed his hand in Richelle’s. She also grabbed Draco and Narcissa, and with a flash, Severus felt them being pulled away to a fresh, new beginning.

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...Before he realized what he was doing, he felt his lips meet hers, timorously at first, but with growing passion. His hands combed through her golden hair, and he was lost in her from that moment...

Sleep eluded Severus Snape, so he did something he had not done for eighteen years. He sat at the edge of the soft, feather bed, put his face in his hands, and let his body shake with sobs. These tears, he remembered, had been hidden deep inside of his core since Richelle’s funeral.

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Severus stood at the back of the crowd, concentrating on keeping emotions out of his consciousness. Albus Dumbledore stood and spoke, not of the niece that he loved so dearly, but of the student, so keenly intelligent and gifted in many areas of magic. Lily Potter eulogized her friend, calling her death another sign that the Wizarding world was in a great war. She spoke of the woman who had been not only a friend, but a “sister with whom they shared all of their secrets .� Severus noticed Lily making eye contact with him.

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Severus was astounded at the incredulity the last twenty-four hours of his life. The woman he had mourned for years was, in fact, alive. She brought him here, to her home, and vowed to keep him safe. But not before leaving again. Business. Later Severus. Not now. And when she returned, she was tired. So now, he wept, not because of a tragic death, but instead for a tragic loss. He finally realized what his reckless actions had cost him, and he found his emotions both irrepressible and erratic. His heart raced and his lips wanted to curl into a smile knowing that the woman he loved was alive. Yet, he felt his stomach lurch with fear what she had endured for the past eighteen years. More than any other sentiment, however, he was irate with himself for being so irresolute and imprudent so many years ago. It was too much to handle at one time. Severus Snape yearned for a firewhiskey.

Without warning, he felt a laugh come upon him. He should have known, even then, that Richelle would not allow herself to be killed by a Death Eater. She was far too clever and too audacious, so ultimately Gryffindor for that, and the memories of their early days flooded his consciousness.

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“Severus, could you stay a moment after class?� Professor Slughorn had asked him. “One of my forth year’s has been ill and missed my class on Shrinking Solution. I have asked her to come to make it on Saturday morning, but I have other duties that need attending, so I would like you to supervise her for me. She has requested assistance.�

“I thought you would have asked Evans,� Severus hissed, “brilliant potion maker that she is.�

“Miss Evans is brilliant, Severus, but I believe that you have the makings of a fine potions master too.�

He ran his long fingers through his silky, ebony locks. Looking back on it now, Severus Snape realized that his sixteen year old self had no idea how this encounter in a potions lab would shape the rest of his life. He remembered being thunderstruck when she first walked into the room.

“Oh, hello,� she said with a feigned hint of disappointment.

“Expecting someone else?� Severus tried to comport himself in a way that seemed confident and casual, despite the fact that he was bowled over by her presence.

“Well, I just assumed that my tutor would be Evans.� The young witch surveyed the room. “Let’s just get started then, Snape.�

“You know me then?� Severus tried to close his mouth before she noticed his astonishment. Beautiful girls from other years and other houses didn’t usually call him by name.

“Of course I do; you’re friends with Lucius, my--�

“cousin – that’s right. I thought you looked familiar.� Snape turned to get the cauldron so his eyes would not betray him. He had noticed Richelle instantly, as had every other Slytherin boy the moment she came on campus. Gentle waves of honey-colored hair cascaded over her shoulders, and her silver eyes beckoned them all. When she sauntered by, an aroma of raspberry jam wafted behind her. If not for Lucius Malfoy’s threat that none of them even speak to her, then perhaps…

“Well, yes, we are related so to speak,� she interrupted his thoughts and he had an eerie feeling that she spoke to prevent him from thinking more. Then, she looked at him, her eyes twinkling like stars, and flashed him a grin, “I’m Richelle Bowen.�

They worked in relative silence for the next hour as she successfully brewed the potion. Her skills would be adequate, he had thought, if she would slow down long enough to read the directions more carefully.

“Despite my poor patience with potions, they say I’m the brightest witch in my year, like Evans,� she continued stirring the brew as she studied his face.

Severus realized that he had been staring at her. “But Evans is just a--�

“You don’t like that she’s muggleborn do you?�

Severus vacillated in his reply, suddenly not wanting to seem like a git to this girl.

“Perhaps you’re just a bit jealous that she gets so much attention.� She smiled serenely. “Lucius is a bit jealous of me too. Of the blood we do not share, mine is a bit more powerful, which is why I ended up in Gryffindor.�

“You’re a bit—�

“Outspoken?�

Severus wrinkled his brow at the fact that she could finish his sentences.

“I know you fancy me too.� Her eyes danced and she smiled brazenly as his black eyes widened and he took a sharp breath. “It appears I could teach you a thing or two, Severus. Have you heard of Occulumency?

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Severus’s mind leapt at another memory, his first lesson. She had approached him in the library and told him that she had secured the use of a classroom from her uncle. He could meet her at ten o’clock on Saturday morning during the Ravenclaw-Hufflepuff Quidditch match.

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“Now, Severus, just empty your mind, make it blank and calm, no emotions.�

Severus was uncomfortable. He did not want her to see what he was really thinking, how he had thought of nothing but her in the last week – the way her hair fell over her shoulders, the way her silver eyes flashed when she smiled, how perfect her lips were. He couldn’t empty his mind so he tried to think of something like a fortress, brick wall, brick wall, brick wall.

“No, you don’t think of bricks,� she hissed and then drew closer to him. “Occulumency is a skill that all strong wizards should have. It will serve you well, as will its companion. Both of which I possess with great skill.� Her unbridled confidence was intoxicating him. “You should learn to block your mind first though.�

After several more attempts and various thoughts of other bastions, Richelle dropped her wand. “I can see that you can’t concentrate, but I think I can remedy that. So, Severus Snape, I will just tell you what is on my mind and then perhaps we can get on with the lesson.�

She paused and his eyes met her silver orbs.

“I fancy you, Severus. I have been drawn to you for a long time now. I have studied you, Severus, in the library, the Great Hall, in my own dreams. You are in awe of the Dark Arts, yet you fear them. Interesting. Like me, you have, shall I say, family ‘issues.’�

Severus stood, feet frozen in place, and was afraid to let himself believe her words. Could it be a joke? Did Potter put her up to this?

“ I asked Slughorn for your help with potions; I told him that I had already asked Evans and she was unable. I wanted the chance to be close to you, Severus, and,� Richelle crossed the room toward him, “now I keep hoping you will kiss me so I can stop making all of these embarrassing confessions.�

Before he realized what he was doing, he felt his lips meet hers, timorously at first, but with growing passion. His hands found her hair and he was lost in her from that moment.

*********************************************************************

Across the cottage in another room, Richelle Bowen also found sleep keeping its distance from her. She was glad to be home again. The warmth of her home contrasted with the harsh conditions of Scotland. Yet, as physically comfortable as she was, the past twenty-four hours had been emotionally trying. She had known it would be arduous to be in communication with him again. This past year, seeing him nearly every day, had twisted her emotions.

When she could chance it, she had watched him from afar. His ebony eyes were cheerless and cold. His countenance was so harsh. He seemed so angry, jeering at students and being short-tempered with colleagues. But one night, as she hid in his office beneath her invisibility cloak watching him for hours while he poured over essays, his loneliness struck her, and, in this time, she could almost discern the man that she loved.

As tears stung her eyes, she remembered them sneaking around Hogwarts under the same cloak as they planned to elope.

**********************************************************************

“Severus, are you sure this is what you want?�

“The only thing that would make me happy is to be with you for the rest of my life, Richelle Bowen. When you are with me, I am free – free of my own darkness, free to believe that there is a purpose for my existence. I cannot bear one more day without you.�

“I cannot leave school yet.�

“I know.�

“How can this work?�

“ We will have to keep this a secret for the time being – there have never been married students at Hogwarts.�

“I can’t believe Abraxas signed the consent form for me.�

“Probably didn’t read it.� Severus raised one brow and smirked at her.

“Probably didn’t care to.� She giggled.

“Are you sure it is what you want, Chelle? You are very young and very beautiful – what if you meet someone else.� He had looked away from her then, averting his eyes and heaving a great sigh.

“Severus Snape,� her fingers glanced his cheek, turning his face back to hers. She grazed his lips with hers before saying, “ there are many boys who fancy me. I could have my pick, but I choose you.�

“I find it astonishing.�

**********************************************************************


Richelle’s mind snapped back to the present. Severus Snape, her Severus, was sleeping just down the hallway, but she did not know if she could trust him. Albus did, but she could not be certain.


The ghosts of his mistakes haunted Severus. When had he lost sight that all he wanted was her? When had he failed to realize that she did not desire the money and power that the Dark Lord offered him? Why could he not see the way her eyes had shone when she was looking at him? Then, he told himself, then he would have known.

They argued rarely, but only once in public. They had been married in secret for nearly a year. She was still at Hogwarts, but he was working in the Potions Lab at St. Mungo’s with her best friend Lily Potter, the only person who knew their secret. It had been six weeks since the last Hogwarts weekend and Severus was miserable without her. Every second he had alone, all he could think was that he could be spending time with his stunning wife.

Lily had been helping them see each other, and she came through again by writing to the Headmaster and asking for permission for Richelle to attend her 19th birthday party. James, her new husband, planned a party for all of their friends at Club Keyo in Diagon Alley. Severus was invited because he worked with Lily. At the party, he was to spend time with his wife and they would sneak away to have the rest of the weekend together.



Severus arrived at the club late. He hated the idea of spending any time with James Potter and his friends, so he hoped that Richelle would be ready to go before he arrived. This was not the case. His wife had discovered Firewhiskey and was having quite a good time.

“Why it’s Severus Snape,� she said in mock surprise, “Lily told me you were working with her at St. Mungo’s.�

Severus played along because he felt the situation required it. “Yes, we make quite a team.�

“I’m sure you do.� She smiled and he wanted to Disapparate with her right then – their time alone being too precious to waste at a bar. “I remember you were quite good at potions in school. Remember when you tutored me after I was ill.�

“Yes, I do.� He truly was not good at being flirtatious. Part of what he loved about his relationship with Richelle was that it had always been direct – that was the type of communication that made him most comfortable.

“I feel like dancing,� she said exubertantly, “Severus, would you like to dance?�

Fear crept over him. Severus Snape did not gyrate to music. “I’m sorry, Richelle, I don’t dance.�

She began to pout, but before she could speak another person entered the conversation.

“Lucky for you, Richelle,� Sirius Black cooed coyly, “I love to dance.�

And with that, Severus watched his sworn enemy from school lead his wife to the dance floor. They danced for what seemed like an eternity.

“You could cut in,� Lily encouraged him, but Severus just ordered another Firewhiskey of his own.

“This was a bad idea.� He could not hide the cynicism in his voice.

“Severus,� Lily said softly to comfort him, “she loves you and she wants to do what all women in love want to do – flaunt that love to the world.�

“But she’s still in school – it’s just not wise.� He stiffened as he saw Barty Crouch, Jr. enter the room.

“She’ll be graduating soon, Severus, and you two will have to come up with a plausible explanation. I don’t know why you insisted on pretending to split, especially when Lucius came around.� Lily took a sip of her drink and made eyes with Potter who was chatting with Remus Lupin across the room.

“I don’t trust Lucius,� Severus said. “He is never accepting and forgiving without a price.�

Lily snorted and rose to dance with James. “Well, that’s a fact isn’t it!�

After his third drink, Severus noticed that Black was no longer dancing with his wife. He was, in fact, pulling her toward him and trying to kiss her. Severus, filled with rage, strutted to the middle of the dance floor arriving just as his wife’s hand struck Sirius Black’s cheek.

“Sirius, I am not a one-night-stand kind of woman. I will not be groped by you or anyone else.�

“Chelle, baby, you know how I feel about you.� Sirius made to grab at her again, but Severus interceded.

“I think the lady wants to be left alone.�

“Listen, Sni-

“Don’t even think of calling him that,� Richelle retorted at Black.

Severus, not wanting to be weak in the eyes of his tormentor or his wife, rebuked her. “I can speak for myself, Miss Bowen.�

“Well, so can I, Mr. Snape!�

They glared at each other and argued right in the middle of the dance floor. Sirius Black walked away when another woman caught his eye. Somehow, though, they made it back to their home, together, at the end of the evening. Their secret was still safe.

**********************************************************************

Exhaling deeply into his hands, Severus thought of all of the things Richelle Arva Bowen had brought to his life. The mind skills alone, both Occulemency and Ligillemency, had saved him many times. But more than that, the ability to love kept him from being the Dark Lord’s servant forever. And where would he be now, he thought, as he lay there alone in the dark? If she had not sought him out, if she had not taught him, if she had not loved him, would he have survived?



“I have no doubt that you would have learned on your own� Her whisper came to him and he appreciated that he was no longer unaccompanied in the dark room. He realized, feeling quite exposed, that he had opened his psyche to her again.

“I’ve been trying to read your thoughts for some time, now Severus.� She closed the door and walked toward his bed. “I have been wishing that I had not taught you so well so that I could see your sincerity. I did not trust you as Albus did, which is why I insisted on the Unbreakable Vow.�

“Richelle,� he started but she put her finger to his lips and sat next to him.

“Don’t speak, Severus. I still have things I need to say to you, and I will not stay strong if I hear your voice.� She lowered her fingers to her side and continued. “Remember how we were so secretive, at first because of Lucius, and then, well I guess that was still because of Lucius...�

His lips wanted to curl into a smile, remembering how they would meet in the library and disappear under her invisibility cloak with a silencing charm.


“Severus, you knew how I felt about Lucius and his path. I was so afraid for you!� Her voice shook shrilly and he wondered if the others would hear.

“I thought I could take care of myself.�

“I didn’t want to share you with Voldemort. That’s why I did what I did. I thought I could defeat him, and save you and my brother before it was too late.� She faltered. “It is the great Gryffindor weakness, overestimating the power of sheer bravado. I found out things that Voldemort did, ways to insure his immortality. He made a Horcrux, Severus, actually, he made several, and I stole one.�

Severus started to interrupt, but she continued.

“The how doesn’t matter now. I did it, but I wasn’t smart about it. I should have gone to Albus, but I was a fool.�

She took a deep breath.

“My downfall, though, was thinking I could go back to Voldemort’s lair. I tried to sneak up on the Dark Lord while he rested. I wanted to find out how to destroy the locket. I tried to enter his mind, but Voldemort sensed my presence and knew who I was.�

“I fled immediately to Albus. He made my arrangements while the Dark Lord summoned his followers to find me. I sent an owl to my brother that I had to meet him in Diagon Alley.� Richelle’s hands were trembling now and her voice grew soft. “I knew he would betray me to his new brothers. I waited there, with my pebble, and hoped that another man who took the dark mark would find me. I hoped that seeing my body, destroyed by this brotherhood would bring him back.� Her voice cracked and rose just an octave. She struggled to continue. “But the Dark Lord seemed to sense our relationship, didn’t he? And he used that to reel you in. He convinced you that Regalus was not who killed me. That it was Sirius, his brother, your enemy from school.�

Severus finally injected, “I took you to Albus. I was lost and just wanted revenge. I told Albus that I would never let your murderer go free, and then, then I fainted.�

“Actually, you didn’t,� she sighed. “I knocked you unconscious so that I could flee. I just couldn’t see your pain. Albus, helped me get out of Britain at that moment.�

“I told him about us after that.�

“He knew?� She raised both brows.

“I told him everything about us. I told him about our secrecy and that I insisted we do it to keep you safe, that I feared your brother. I told him how you wanted to be chaste until marriage�


“I had to be chaste until marriage, Severus, we went over this twenty years ago.�

“Yes, I told him that too. I told him of our trip to Diagon Alley.�

“I can’t believe he didn’t tell me that he knew,� Richelle winced.

“I can’t believe you let me think you were dead.� Snape struggle to clear his mind of feelings.

“You are right to close your mind to me Severus. I don’t want to see your pain. I don’t want to feel sorry for you at all.�

“You know nothing of,� he started to protest.

“Don’t think I know nothing of pain. My heart broke Severus. I just wanted to be with you. I didn’t want anything else, but you were not happy with just me. You were tempted by the dark arts and their power.�

She had rivulets of tears flowing down her cheeks. He wanted to search her mind, but he couldn’t make himself invade her. He feared seeing how she hated him now.

“I am not the same girl, Severus. I have become so bitter and angry. I think of what we lost, what we could have had, and I mourn my losses more than you can begin to imagine.

“Richelle, I have thought of what could have been too.� His resolve was feeble. “I too became bitter.�

“But you didn’t have to bury our child, Severus.� She began sobbing so hard that she didn’t notice the surprise on his face.

“What child? Richelle, what child?� This revelation his Severus hard in his gut.

Her grey eyes bore into him. “I was pregnant, Severus. I was stupid. We were married so I could pretty much control the enchantment. In a moment of weakness, I thought that a baby would bring you away from the Dark Lord. Then, as you slept one night, I saw within your mind how deep you were. That is when I tried to defeat him myself.�

“You were pregnant? We were to have a child?� Tears brimmed his eyes. He now was starting to comprehend the depths of her heartache and was barely beginning to realize his own.

“I told no one. I left and thought I could raise the baby without you and away from Voldemort.� She was breathing quite difficultly and shifted her eyes to the floor, “but our boy came too early and didn’t live to see his first morning.�

He reached out for her and pulled her to him. He wanted to take her pain but he couldn’t stop his own tears. He stroked her hair and let his emotions pour into his consciousness. How he ached for her. How Lucius’s betrayal infuriated him. How his own actions for the Dark Lord shamed him. How he tried to make amends with Dumbledore. How he earned his trust. How he still loved her with every fiber of his being.

Richelle pulled away from him and studied his eyes. Carefully putting her emotions in check, Richelle protected her secrets. For the first time in nearly twenty years, however, she sensed the man she loved in her presence. She wanted to believe that he had come back to her, and she let him hold her for the rest of the night.


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Preview of chapter 3:

Draco finds out how his aunt has supported herself.

As the sun rose over the southern Mediterranean Sea, Richelle woke. At first the sunlight entering the window confused her, and then she remembered that she was in a bedroom on the opposite side of her home, and not the one in which she usually slept. The mattress was a bit too firm for her liking, and the pillow felt strange, as she was used to sleeping on the amethyst silk pillow that was her favorite. While she’d barely slept, what slumber she had found was the most peaceful respite she had experienced in nearly eighteen years. In all that time, she had almost forgotten the warmth of her husband’s arms, but still, she roused herself and tip-toed down the hallway, careful not to wake her guests as she made her way to her sunny kitchen to brew some morning tea.

She filled her favorite teapot with water and put it on the stove. As she opened the cabinet to procure some tea leaves, her mind raced. She could not believe that she’d informed Severus about the death of their son. The memory was still so raw for her, and she had been so angry with Severus. For years, she’d blamed him solely for the boy’s death. She admonished herself, thinking that she must remember to guard her secrets of the past eighteen years more carefully.

The shrill hiss of the boiling water returned Richelle to the present. It had been twenty years since she had married Severus – she still couldn’t believe she’d taken vows just before her sixteenth birthday, entering into a marriage that was, in effect, over in less than two years. She placed the tea leaves in a cup to steep and heaved a sigh. She knew that now was not the time to reconcile with Severus. She knew that she had larger priorities on her agenda and could not take the time to discover if she could trust him completely. Frankly, at this time, she just could not take the stress of rebuilding their bond. Yet, deep in the inner recesses of her heart, she was sure that Severus never completely turned to the Dark Lord and that one day she could take time to reignite their relationship. The shuffling of footsteps on tile floor announced her nephew entering the room, so she retrieved another cup from the sideboard.

“Good morning, Draco.� She poured him cup of the freshly brewed tea.

“’Morning.� He took the cup from her and offered a slight smile as he took a seat at the small dinette in an alcove with a large window.

“I’m glad the others aren’t awake yet. I have wanted to talk to you.� She paused, sensing that he was not quite comfortable enough to have a personal conversation “I take it your accommodations here are acceptable. I know it is not quite Malfoy Manor, but –�

“No. I mean yes, it’s fine. I like it here. I actually enjoy being near the shore; and the tropical weather is so different for me.� He bit his lips and glanced around the kitchen. “But I was expecting something more of a – �

“No, Draco I would not live in a cave. I didn’t stop living just because I went into hiding. When I left, I wanted something other than a musty manor or castle. I figured that if I had to give up my entire life, I may as well live in a climate that is enjoyable, in a house that I love.� She could feel him relaxing and enjoying the chat, though she could tell he still had many questions.

“So,� his voice was shaking slightly as he asked, “so, how did you do it?�

Richelle’s lips formed a smile and her silver eyes brigtened. “I have certain skills, Draco, that made it easy for me to disappear. You’ve seen for yourself that I am a Metamorphmagus, and I am sure that you know how rare that is.� She paused and sipped her tea. “It has been a great advantage to me while I have been in hiding. Every time I leave this house I change myself into a second identity I have created for myself.�

She stood and furrowed her brows. Draco drew a quick breath and nearly choked on a sip of tea as a plump looking, middle-aged witch with graying red hair and blue eyes took the place of his lovely aunt.

“Draco, meet Miranda Goshawk,� Richelle said, her melodious voice sounding high-pitched as well as satisfied and amused. “I’m sure that you are familiar with my books, as they are required texts at Hogwarts.�

“Merlin, you are brilliant!� Draco’s silver eyes were open wide.

She laughed, crinkling her face again, instantly becoming Richelle once more.

“Brilliant disguise if I do say so myself, but not a very comfortable one – though it has allowed me to earn a solid living.�

She watched her nephew lower his gaze and anxiously take another sip of the tea. She knew his pain, his shame for what he had done.

“Draco, I have been in Hogsmeade for over a year, and given my skills, your headmaster let me come to the castle whenever I wanted. I watched you all year.�

His eyes looked fiercely into hers. “You spied on me?�

The intense eye contact opened the window to his soul. Inside he was afraid; a shaking boy kneeling at Voldemort’s feet, frightened of the vile task given to him and desperately trying to survive. “It wasn’t that I was spying on you, Draco, but rather, I was trying to get to know you better.�

“You thought I was like him, didn’t you?� Draco asked.

“Like Lucius? I confess I was worried, but,� she hesitated. “I know you are nothing like him. I know that your heart wasn’t in your task. I know that you say and do things as a form of bravado, swaggering to hide your true feelings.�

“I don’t swagger.� His tone was incredulous.

“Oh yes you do, dear,� she smiled. “I believe that bravado of yours is what makes you so popular with young ladies, like that Pansy Parkinson.�

Richelle smirked as she watched a patch of scarlet creep up on his snow-white visage
“So what’s with you and Snape?�

Richelle raised her brows at the quick change of subject thinking it was an attempt to escape his own discomfort, and cocked her head at her nephew.

“Well,� she paused; she didn’t want to tell him everything, not yet. “We were involved. No, we were in love, Draco.�

“Were?� Now Draco was smirking, and Richelle felt a heat begin to rise in her own face.

“Playing inquisitor today, are we?�

“I’m curious. I mean, you are quite the looker for someone of your age, and he’s…well, I mean…he’s—�

“Attraction, Draco,� she sighed, taking another sip of tea, “is not always physical. However, I happen to find Severus quite appealing, even at his current age, but let’s make that our little secret.�

Their laughter woke the others, and they were soon joined by Narcissa and then Severus. When her husband looked at her, she opened her mind to him enough to let him know that she wasn’t quite ready to move beyond civilities in the presence of Draco and Narcissa. Not yet. He acknowledged her with a blink and followed her to the veranda. Overlooking the ocean as it did, the view was spectacular—waves bouncing on a white sand beach, the sunlight dancing on the water’s surface –and when she looked at her husband standing beside her in her own personal paradise, Richelle found herself once again lost in her memories.

Standing in the middle of Club Keyo’s dance floor, Richelle could not believe her husband’s audacity. How dare he jump to her rescue but refuse to allow her to speak on his behalf as well! Sirius Black was making a comment, something about her dumping Severus, but they both ignored him, so he sauntered back to the bar.

“I will not have you defending me as though I’m some weak, pathetic--,� Severus started.

“Honestly, Black is no threat to you!� She glowered at him, but still managed to notice the man entering the bar behind him.

“I never said he was, but I don’t—�

“You need to be more open-minded!� She interrupted him and his eyes showed a hint of understanding. “Lucius is here,� she continued mentally,“ talking to Barty Crouch. I’ll meet you at home in ten minutes.� And with those thoughts, she stormed towards her brother.

“Lucius?� She said meekly when she reached him.

“Richelle, shouldn’t you be in school?� Her brother drawled and heaved a sigh, as if he resented the intrusion.

“And shouldn’t you be at home with your wife?� she retorted. “How is Narcissa?�

“Barty,� Lucius ignored her question as he turned his attention to his companion and gestured, “you remember my sister.�

The young man nodded as he sipped his drink, and raised his brows to greet her; he had asked her out on numerous occasions, he certainly remembered her. Richelle felt her stomach tighten, reminding her how much she hated the Slytherin who had just finished Hogwarts last term.

“Barty, if you will excuse us for a moment,� Lucius intoned. “We have a bit of family business to discuss.�

The other man excused himself and went over to join another group of men.

“Narcissa could use an owl from you, Chelle. She was disappointed that you chose to spend the holiday with that mud –�

“Lucius, I haven’t been welcome in the Manor for years It’s hardly fair for you to expect me to give up the life I have built for myself just because the old man is dead now.�

“Your sorrow at his passing is touching.�

“You know how he treated me, Lucius. My parentage was never my fault.� She felt white hot anger rush to her face, but she kept her emotions in check, knowing that she had to protect her thoughts. “Never mind that. How is Narcissa?�

“She lost the baby.� Lucius casually sipped his Firewhiskey as if he had just told her it was raining outside.

“No! Oh, Lucius, I am so sorry.� She moved to embrace him. This was the third child that Narcissa had miscarried.

“I am fine, but Narcissa is devastated.� He stopped for a moment and looked at his sister. “So why are you not in school? You haven’t been expelled have you?�

“Of course not!� Richelle couldn’t help thinking that her brother wanted nothing more. “I had permission to leave for Lily’s birthday.�

“Oh,� Lucius looked over to the group celebrating in the corner. “I thought you were here with Severus; perhaps you are seeing him again.�

Richelle tensed, but her brother did not notice. She knew he was up to something, and she had to find out. His Occlumency skills were no match for her capabilities as a Legilimens as she could now do the spell without a wand. She knew he wanted something on Severus. He was looking for a way to get to him. She was determined to give him nothing.

“I told you,� she kept her voice even, “that git dumped me two years ago. Seems he found someone else more appealing.�

“He seemed to find you appealing when I came in here.� Lucius lifted his Firewhiskey to his lips and took a drink. “Perhaps he’s had a change of heart.�

“What you saw,� she retorted, “was a who-has-the-bigger-wand contest between he and Sirius Black. Those two have hated each other since their days at Hogwarts, and I kept them from fighting for Lily’s sake. No one should ruin her birthday.�

“Very well then,� Lucius stated. Richelle knew he was frustrated by her response. She could sense that he wanted something from Severus. No, not Lucius; it was Voldemort who wanted Severus. Lucius was trying to recruit him on Voldemort’s behalf. Was she to be a pawn?

“I need to go, Lucius. I am returning to Hogwarts shortly, and I need to say my good-byes to my friends. I will owl Cissy soon.� She gave him a peck on the cheek and walked away, feeling his eyes follow her as she went.

As the conversation lulled behind her, Richelle was brought back to her island home, keenly aware of the presence of Narcissa and Draco.

“Would you like to stroll along the beach with me, Mother?� Draco looked at Richelle and winked as Narcissa nodded in agreement.

Richelle watched as they descended the wooden stairs that led from her deck to the beach, then exchanged a look with her husband. “He’s trying to give us some privacy, I think.�

“I know your nephew a bit better than you,� Severus began, “so I doubt this action is selfless.�

“Oh, it’s not,� Richelle smiled. “He’s a bit bored and thinks there is drama to be found in us.�

“What were you thinking about just then?� Severus inquired.

“Lily’s birthday.�

“I thought of that just last night.�

Their eyes connected again and they were both lost in a memory.

When she arrived at Spinner’s End, Richelle found her husband sitting in his favorite chair with another Ogden's in his hand. She motioned for him not to rise, then removed her outer robes and climbed into his lap. She brought her lips to his, parting them with her tongue, and drinking in his essence. He rose and carried her up a hidden staircase to their bedroom.

“I have wanted to do that for hours now,� she cooed after they had been together. “Let’s not waste one more-� she was interrupted by knocking at the front door. Her husband’s eyes narrowed and his lips thinned, and she knew that she should hide. He threw on his robes and left their room.

She crept down the stairwell after him and covered herself with her invisibility cloak. From behind the door she could heard the voices in the other room. It was Lucius and Barty Crouch.

“Lucius,� Severus said coolly, “it is a bit late for a social call.�

“Well, Severus, this isn’t exactly social,� Lucius drawled.

“So, what do you want?�

“I think you know what we want,� grunted Crouch.

“Severus, I think you have desires too.� Lucius’s words rolled off his tongue smoothly. “If you were to give yourself to the Dark Lord’s service, then you could have everything you want.�

“I have everything I need.�

“But not everything you want. You could do much better than this, Severus. Much better. And with better belongings, you might be able to obtain everything else that you want as well.� Richelle could imagine the haughty look on Lucius’s face as he surveyed Severus’s dilapidated furniture and home.

“What are you implying, Lucius?�

“You could get my sister back.�

“What makes you think that is what I want?�

“I saw you with her tonight. You seemed to be arguing. I am telling you, Severus, with a little more power, you could win her back and away from Sirius Black.�

“Black?�

“Yes, I spoke with Chelle before she left with Black tonight. I believe they are seeing each other now thanks to your good friend, Lily Potter.�

Richelle was amazed at Lucius’s lies. How easy it was for him to forsake the truth!

“You know I cannot have my sister with that man, Severus. I know that she once had feelings for you, and I want to see her marry someone with a more reasonable view on life.�

“Lucius, I told you—�

“If this stupid git don’t like her, Lucius, then I’ll take her away from Black myself. I always thought she was striking.�

Before hearing his next words, Richelle knew that her husband’s emotions had gotten the better of him. He had always been prone to jealousy.

“Lucius, what do you need me to do?�

Furious at his submission, Richelle Apparated to Hogsmeade and made her way back to the castle.

“I was stupid,� Severus brought them back to the present.

“We all have our moments.�

“But my jealousy destroyed our relationship. In essence, I killed you; or at least I thought that I had.�

Draco and Narcissa returned from their stroll just then. Draco looked at the couple, and Richelle could sense that he wondered what was transpiring between them. The four of them resumed their small talk and enjoyed the muffins she conjured until the arrival of an owl interrupted them.

Richelle greeted the bird with a piece of breakfast sausage. “Thank you, Portia, your speed is truly incredible.�

Richelle opened the post and smiled at its contents. She wouldn’t inform the others just yet; frankly she didn’t want to hear the objections. Instead she scrunched her eyes and became her alter ego.

“Well, my dears, it is time for phase two to begin,� she said, before Apparating back to Diagon Alley.

“Did you see her?� Severus was shocked. “Did she just become…�

“Miranda Goshawk,� Draco affirmed and then noticed a discontented look on his professor’s face.

“Is she?�

“She just told me that’s how she has earned a living,� Draco replied.

Severus smiled and shook his head. “How could I have missed that? I have met Miranda Goshawk at least five times over the last fifteen years.�

Draco raised his brows and gave a lopsided smile. He wished he had known his aunt his entire life.


Preview of the next chapter:

“…That man you were hugging is my uncle. That vile evil boy is my brother’s son, and the beady-eyed monster,� she hesitated for just a moment, “is my husband.�

Tom, the barman, busied himself putting away shot glasses. The Leaky Cauldron was not particularly busy at this time of day. The lunch rush was over and the after work crowd had yet to arrive. Still, the pub enjoyed some business. An older couple sat at a table near the door, and a group of Aurors sat chatting at the bar. In the back booth a middle-aged witch waited, casually reading a book on spell casting.

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Hermione Granger could hardly wipe the silly smile off of her face. She had not felt this giddy in quite some time. She had hardly felt like smiling since the murder of her headmaster and the knowledge that her world had been forever changed. But today, just for today, Hermione let herself feel excited.

This is perfect, she thought, as she read the owl again:

Miss Granger,

Your extraordinary talent with charms has come to my attention recently. I would like to share a cup of tea with you and discuss your career after Hogwarts. I will be in London tomorrow, staying at the Leaky Cauldron. I will be free at three in the afternoon. If you would be able to join me for tea, please send by return owl right away.

Magically yours,

Miranda Goshawk

Hermione could not believe her luck. She had the chance to meet the woman who wrote The Standard Book of Spells and possibly work with her. Incredible! She had planned a trip to Diagon Alley anyway to purchase new dress robes for Bill and Fleur’s wedding. She left Madame Malkin’s humming her favorite tune and carrying a bag containing new lime green summer robes. She made her way past Flourish and Bott’s and Honeydukes without stopping, and promised herself that she would visit Fred and George after tea.


Upon reaching the pub, Hermione took a deep breath and tried to comport an attitude of upmost seriousness as she opened the door. Once inside, she inquired about Ms. Goshawk. Tom pointed to the aging witch in the corner.

Hermione walked over to the very private table where she found a round woman who appeared to be just a little bit younger than Professor McGonagall. Her graying auburn hair was in a tight bun and she was a bit portly. Her eyes met Hermione’s and she smiled warmly as she put down the book of spells that she was reading.

“Miss Granger, we meet at last,� said the old woman, her cobalt eyes dancing merrily. “Please have a seat.�

Hermione Granger was not at a loss for words.

“Oh, Ms. Goshawk, I am so pleased to meet you! I must have read all of your books at least twenty times cover to cover.� Hermione felt herself gushing and the older witch smiled.

“Dear, let me take your hand,� squeaked Miranda Goshawk, extending her left hand to Hermione.

Without hesitation, Hermione reached for the older woman, but as soon as she touched Miranda Goshawk’s hand, Hermione felt herself being pulled far away from Diagon Alley.


When the world stopped spinning, Hermione found herself in a bright cottage, sunlight filling the entire room. It was a library of sorts. Potted plants, light buttercup yellow walls, chocolate furniture with crimson and emerald accent pillows, and shelves with books and trinkets filled the space. It seemed to be late morning.

This must be her home, Hermione thought as she watched Miranda Goshawk wrinkle her nose, as Nymphadora Tonks would do to change her appearance, and become a much younger, comely witch. Hermione felt her jaw drop and she reached for her wand only to find it already flying toward the other woman.

Gone was her feeling of glee. Her brown eyes burned as she tried to stop tears from sprouting. Hermione felt stupid, especially idiotic. She should have been looking for a trap. Voldemort was probably using her to catch Harry.

“While I can assure you, Miss Granger, that Voldemort does indeed like to use people for his own gains, he would not reside in a place this cheery.� Miranda Goshawk, or the witch that had been her, spoke in a smoother voice and looked quite pleased with herself.

Hermione stared in disbelief that witch read my mind. It was then that she completely observed her surroundings and realized that they were not alone. Seated next to a large bay window on a pillow-topped sofa were Draco Malfoy and a woman Hermione recognized to be his mother.

Draco spoke before she could, “What is that filthy-�

“Don’t say it,� the woman who had been Goshawk spat at him, “Draco, don’t even think it. You either, Cissy. We are approaching the 21st century and your pureblood attitudes are so outdated; I would have thought by now you would realize that those attitudes will get you killed. Besides, being pure isn’t everything is it, Severus?�

Hermione turned behind her and saw her former professor reclining behind her in an easy chair, a book resting on his lap.

“You!� Hermione found her voice quite loud, “You, you, vile, evil boy tried to kill, and, and, and you, you disgusting beady-eyed monster, you killed�

A loud popping sound interrupted her. “Miss Granger, no one has been killed.�

Hermione turned slowly. She knew the gentle voice but she couldn’t believe her own eyes. Albus Dumbledore was standing before her. No longer could she fight the tears. Forgetting all pride, she rushed to give him a hug.

“There, there,� he patted her on the back and turned to the witch who brought her there. “I take it, Richelle, that you haven’t yet explained our situation to Miss Granger.�

Hermione pulled away from her headmaster and looked back at the woman he called Richelle.

“No, Albus, I haven’t yet. But I will after I set some parameters.� Hermione saw her looking at each person in this room. “First, you all need to know that Albus and I feel Miss Granger is our best choice as an Order contact. She has proven to be trustworthy and her skills are exceptional as is her ability to keep a secret even from her dearest friends. Secondly, Miss Granger, you need to know who I am.�

Hermione stood straight, bracing herself for the words to come.

“My name is Richelle Bowen,� the flaxen-haired witch continued. “I have been hiding from Voldemort and believed to be dead for the past eighteen years. That man you were hugging is my uncle. That ‘vile, evil boy’ is my brother’s son, and the ‘beady-eyed monster,’� she hesitated for just a moment, “is my husband.�

Hermione’s eyes couldn’t have gotten larger, and, as she looked at the other faces in the room, she realized that Richelle’s words had surprised them too. Snape’s lips actually threatened to smile.

“Husband?� Narcissa queried feebly.

“Cissy, I will tell you more later, but I will say that I married Severus nearly twenty years ago; we kept it hidden for various reasons.� Hermione saw the Richelle glance at Snape before she continued. “Miss Granger, frankly, we need your help. As you can see, Albus is alive. He was never dead and Severus did not kill him. However, we need for the rest of the wizarding world to think that he has gone to the great beyond.�

Fighting to keep her jaw from dropping, Hermione looked to the other faces. Clearly they understood more than she did.

“I know you have many questions dear, and I promise that they will be answered in time. But today our time is quite limited so I will give you the most vital information now.�

Relief and a bit of excitement began to ebb over Hermione. “I’m listening.�

“With Albus ‘dead’ Voldemort is more likely to make errors, making it easier to for Mr. Potter to do what he must do.� Richelle lowered her gaze and raised her brows. “We can guide Mr. Potter, but we cannot compromise our secret. Draco, Narcissa, Severus, Albus, and I must remain ‘dead’ for the time being. In this state, however, we cannot help Harry at all. That is where you come in.�

Hermione’s eyes widened.

“We need a contact within the Order, and we would like it to be you.�

Hermione nodded. Her heart was beating so fast and she felt her face relax and her lips curl into a smile. She had wanted to help the Order for a long time and felt honored to be chosen for any task. Her voice, however was stuck in her throat.

“I have enchanted a necklace that we can use to communicate,� Richelle continued. “Only you and I can use them, Hermione; that is important for you to understand. I also have a Portkey that I designed to always bring you back to this location. It is a charm bracelet and it will only work to your touch.�

“So the secret of your location remains safe. Brilliant!� Hermione studied this woman Richelle and gazed into her hypnotic silver eyes. She was ecstatic by the challenge of this task.

Richelle smile and continued. “A true Gryffindor, Albus, a true one indeed! She is the perfect choice. Will you agree to it Hermione?� Richelle’s tone was expectant and exultant.

“However I can help, I would be honored,� Hermione proclaimed, beaming with confidence. She could even stand being in the room with Snape and Malfoy now. Her curiosity peaked, she looked forward to finding out more about this Richelle. Hermione couldn’t help but wonder about her.

“Well, let’s get you back to the Leaky Cauldron before people start asking questions.� Richelle was smiling now, her silver eyes dancing. “And yes, dear girl, I did write all of those books and one day, over a proper cup of tea, I will tell you exactly what I saw in him.�

Hermione was incredulous that the witch knew what she was thinking.

“In the meantime, Hermione,� Richelle continued, “you need to look for the real locket at the residence of Sirius Black. Also, there is a room on the seventh floor at Hogwarts,� she paused again, “I see that you know it! Very well, Ravenclaw’s tiara is hidden there. Have Harry take care of those before your venture to Godric’s Hollow.�

“How did you know?� Hermione was perplexed.

“Dear, you need someone in the Order to teach you Occulumency.� Richelle chortled.

Hermione hugged Albus Dumbledore once again before using the Portkey to return her to the Leaky Cauldron. She arrived feeling so elated, that upon seeing the mournful looks on the patrons’ faces, she felt a since of guilt that she could not share her good news with the world. But, she told herself, someday soon, they will all know the truth. She collected herself, tried to feign a more stoic countenance, and was off on a quest for new robes and a visit with her favorite twins.

“How and I going to get Harry to look for the locket and tiara without revealing too much?� she whispered to herself, as she meandered down the cobblestone streets toward 93 Diagon Alley, Weasleys’ Wizarding Wheezies.

Preview of the last chapter:

“Severus, I just have a few more things to say.�

He sighed. Frankly, he did not want to hear any more.

Severus Snape watched Hermione Granger use her Portkey to return to the Leaky Cauldron and stared in amazement at his wife. He could feel fluttering in his stomach and fought to keep his lips from curling into a smile. She said it. She acknowledged their marriage to the whole group, and Severus found his heart thumping almost as quickly as the day of his first Occulumency lesson.

He rose from the easy chair and forgot the others in the room. He found himself on his feet gliding slowly toward her, ready to take her in his arms, but the loud crack of someone Apparating forced Severus to stop just before he reached her.

A lovely young girl entered the room. She was tall and lanky with silky raven hair that was pulled into a pony tail and silver eyes that darted excitedly to all of the people in the room. Her eyes sparkled like stars as she flashed a welcoming grin. Richelle’s grin.

“Heather, I, well, I - I wasn’t expecting you this afternoon, darling.� Suddenly, Richelle didn’t seem right. She began to sway, and turned slowly to meet Severus’s gaze, but before she could speak she collapsed, fortunately, into his arms.

“Richelle!� His voice reeked of his concern as he lifted her in his arms in one fluid motion.

“Mum!� The young woman shrieked as she ran to Snape’s side.

“Mum?� Snape inquired of the girl, and the truth dawned on him like a lightning bolt striking a metal pole. The black hair. The silver eyes. The unmistakable grin. Richelle had not been alone. Richelle had been raising her child. This girl was her daughter.

Realization now dealt him a blow to the stomach, nearly knocking out his breath. This girl was his daughter. In shock, he nearly dropped his wife.

“Severus,� Albus Dumbledore spoke soothingly, “I suspect my dear niece just needs some repose. Perhaps a potion for Dreamless Sleep is in order. It is quite a challenge on one’s body to Apparate other people such a great distance. Heather, dear, if you could open the door to your mother’s room for him, I believe that Severus can carry her there.�

“Of course,� Severus carried his wife to her bedroom finding himself still numb about the news that he was a father. He followed the girl down the hallway that he had not dared to venture. At the end, Heather pushed open the door to a room with light purple walls and a silk covered bed. Along the table there was fresh lavender, charmed, Severus thougt, to always bloom. He remembered how she loved lavender as he gently placed Richelle in her bed. Stealing a glance at the young witch, he noticed that the girl and Albus engaged in a conversation, and he hated himself for not earlier thinking of Richelle’s needs. He leaned over Richelle, lightly stroking her honey-colored hair. Of course she is exhausted, and all I have worried about is whether or not she could love me again.

“I daresay she hasn’t stopped, Severus,� Albus said after the girl left the room, “and apparently you still love her too.�

“I hate it when you do that.� Severus said emptying his mind and turning to his mentor.

“I know that you do, Severus, but I do think we should talk for a few minutes.� Dumbledore inspected him over his half-moon spectacles. He heaved a sigh and quickly conjured two chairs beside Richelle’s bed. “Heather is quite gifted with Potions, a natural talent; she works as an apprentice in the potions lab at a magical hospital on the mainland, where she has gone to retrieve a vial of Dreamless Sleep for us.� He paused for a moment, casting a silencing charm around them so as not to disturb the unconscious woman. “Have you told her everything?�

“I have tried to tell her.�

“Did most of the talking, did she?�

“Yes, and-�

“Tried to dig into your mind herself.�

“Yes,� Severus felt a smirk creep upon his lips and thought that’s what I love about her. Abruptly, however, his thoughts drifted to what she had not told him. “Albus, did you know, did you, did you know about the children?�

“I see she told you about the boy.� The aging professor brought his forefingers together, tapping them gently. “Yes, Severus, I did know.�

Silence hung between them. Severus owed so much to the man standing before him, but he could not help feeling resentment for this betrayal.

“Severus, understand, please understand that when she wanted to go into hiding she told me that it was because she was afraid for the babies, not herself.� Dumbledore paused, considering his words very carefully. “She is so wise. She knew the danger the babies would be in and because of your situation at the time she was quite concerned of you knowing the truth. Now, of course, she did not tell me you were the father then. I did not know until you told me of your marriage.�

“Why didn’t – �

“Severus, if you would just listen for a time. I wanted very much to tell you where she was. I wanted desperately to take you to her and fake your death as well.� Dumbledore sighed, his voice sounding weary. “She was just miserable at first, but she was afraid of Voldemort, afraid for her babies. Then, well, then your emotions got the better of you didn’t they?�

Severus could not look at the old man. He regretted thinking it was the Order, namely Sirius Black, that killed Richelle. Even more so, he despised his own devotion to Voldemort thereafter. Unexpectedly, he remembered his meeting with Lilly Evans Potter, just before she went into hiding. She looked at him with her lovely emerald eyes— full of hurt and sorrow, mourning the passing of her dear friend and stressing strongly to him that there was no way Sirius would have killed Richelle. He had wanted to believe her eyes, and those eyes haunted him for years, especially after Harry came to Hogwarts.

Dumbledore cleared his throat. “Severus, by the time you realized your mistakes and came to me again, it was too late. Your daughter had arrived, your son and Lily were dead. Richelle began writing her books. She was bitter too. I don’t think she was ready to see you again.�

Severus looked out the window, wishing for a way to reverse time and efface the mistakes of his youth.

“I did tell her about you, often. I spoke of your work with the Order. I told her of your tenure at Hogwarts. I told her how you had given invaluable protection to Harry in such a way that no one would even remotely suspect that you cared for him at all. I even sent you to several educational conferences at which Miranda Goshawk would be speaking. And, I involved her as a key piece in this great scheme of ours. I did, Severus, try to bring her back to you.�

Severus looked back at his mentor, and swallowed his emotions. “Does Heather know about me?�

A loud pop announced the girl’s arrival, and a twinkle flickered in Dumbledore’s cerulean eyes.

“Severus,� the old man yawned, “you know I am still a little weak. I think I shall have a respite as well. I will take the room in which you were sleeping, and you can stay here with your lovely wife. I should think that she would like to wake with you next to her.� He stood smiling. “Heather, I trust you to administer the potion to your mother and take the opportunity to get to know your father.�

The girl’s silver eyes looked questioningly between Snape and Dumbledore, her brows furrowed together. “Father? She told me my father was dead.�

“She told me she was dead.� Severus replied coolly, raising his brows and piercing his lips. He did not know how a father should act in the least.

Heather shook her head and rolled her eyes. “That’s typical, Mum,� she said using a droplet to place potion in her mother’s lips. She placed the empty vial on Richelle’s nightstand and turned to face Severus. “Mother has a veranda off of this room. Would you like to have a chat?�

“I think we should.� He felt so discomfited. His stomach lurched. He wasn’t even sure how he should feel. This girl, while a stranger to him, was indeed his daughter. She was tall like him and her hair was silky and black like his. And when she had raised her brow just then at hearing he was her father – well, that was something he would have done. He felt a connection growing between them and they had barely said a word to each other.

She led him to a small porch overlooking the sea and conjured two comfortable chairs and a pitcher of lemonade.

“So,� she started, filling a glass with the lemonade. “When did you find out about me?�

“When you Apparated into our conversation earlier.� Severus tried not to sound annoyed as the frustration he felt had nothing to do with the lovely young woman sitting across from him.

“Well, you must be reeling!� Heather let out a nervous chuckle. “If I may be candid, I don’t know where to begin, Mr. –“

“My name is Severus. Severus Snape.�

“The Potions Master at Hogwarts?� Her eyes were dancing and her lips were beaming at him.

Severus felt a smirk creep onto his face as well, and he lifted both eyebrows as he said, “I understand that you share my passion.�

“Always drove Mum crazy.�

“Indeed.� He found himself nearly sniggering. He could just imagine Richelle’s exasperation with her daughter’s love of potions.

“So,� Heather averted her gaze from the man who was her father to a couple of gulls flapping in the horizon. She squinted her eyes slightly in the lowering sunlight. “So, what happened? Why did Mum keep us apart?�

“This is a bit unnerving for both of us, Heather. We are both in a bit of shock right now, and I for one am feeling inept at communicating.� Severus saw the girl concede with a nod before he continued. “Let’s just say that I am the world’s biggest git. I did some terrible things and your mother left me to think she was dead. However, we were reacquainted a few days ago.�

“Are you two back together then?� Her silver eyes stared directly at him now, and Severus was sure that her mother had trained her as a Legilimens.

“I’m not sure.� Severus maintained her gaze.

“Do you want to be?� She cocked her head slightly, elongated her lips, and raised just her left brow.

Severus knew exactly what he wanted to say. He could only hope that it was what she wanted to hear. “Absolutely.�

He found the girl smiling, a sense of relief ebbing over her face. “So what would you like to know about me?�

They talked until dinner. Severus learned that his daughter had recently graduated from Beauxbatons and was strong in Potions and Herbology. She wanted to be a healer, a career requiring a few more years of school. She was a decent flyer and had been a leading chaser for her Quiddictch team. She had wanted to come to Hogwarts for the Tri Wizard Tournament, but her mother would not allow it. Her mother was quite overprotective, but loving nonetheless.

“I’m going to make some dinner for all of us,� she smiled. “Besides, I want to get to know this cousin of mine.�

“I’m fine for now, Heather. I would like to stay with your mother if you don’t mind.�

“Of course,� she hesitated before adding a nearly inaudible whisper, “Dad.�

Severus could not help himself. Heart beating in his throat, his arms engulfed her long, lithe body, and he gave his daughter a hug, their first hug. He did not let himself cry.

“I like being called Dad,� he confessed, his voice nearly cracking, as they broke their embrace.

“Good, because I like saying it!� And with a smile, she exited the room.

Severus stayed with Richelle for the rest of the afternoon and night. He occasionally conjured himself some food, but he mostly napped next to his wife, stroking her hair and finally drifting into a deeper sleep. When he awoke, he was lying on his back and found Richelle curled upon him, her head on his chest and her knee resting lightly on his thigh. This is how we used to sleep.

He felt her stirring and realized that she was going to wake, and he hoped that she would not be upset by his presence.

“Severus? What are you doing in here?� She was puzzled but didn’t sound angry to Severus.

“Your uncle took the other room and suggested that I move in here. Our daughter thought I should stay here too.� He added with a smirk. “Are you upset?�

“No,� she smiled and then looked away from his gaze. “Are you upset about Heather?�

“Of course I am,� Severus retorted, “but not with you. You were right to hide her from me and from the Dark Lord. Look at Draco. I shudder to think of putting a child through that. You did the right thing,� his voice faltered slightly, “but I cannot believe what I have missed.�

“You’re going to love her, Severus. She’s like a perfect blend of us.�

“I already do love her.�

“How long have I been sleeping?�

“Sixteen or seventeen hours.�

“What!� She started to sit up, but Severus stopped her. “Severus, I need to check with Hermione and see if she got the locket yet. I can’t believe I have been snoozing like some housecat.�

“Miss Granger can wait, Richelle,� his voice cooed, “but this cannot.�

He pulled her face to his and landed his lips on hers. Electric pulses went throughout his body and he moved his hand to her robes.

“Severus, stop. I, I, I, I have no potion.�

“Richelle, we have been married for twenty years, I don’t care about the potion.�

“Severus, it is not responsible. I have duties. I may need to travel back to Britain, I may-�

“Richelle, haven’t we sacrificed enough for this war?� He didn’t want to remind her of their son. “This does not have to fall on your shoulders now. We have Miss Granger and I can assure you that she is as bright, if not more so, as you and Evans.�

“Severus Snape! I just might be insulted,� she smiled coyly and he felt a victory coming his way. She looked down at her fingers and her face became more serious. “Severus, I just have a few more things to say.�

He sighed. Frankly, he did not want to hear any more.

“Severus, I do love you. I have loved everything that you have done since returning to the Albus’s side. I love that you tried to undo the harm you did to Lily. I love that you tried to help her son, and I love that you risked your life for Albus’s plan. I love that you are not angry with me for keeping Heather a secret, and I want nothing more than to spend everyday of the rest of my life making up for lost time with you. And,� she looked around the room and finally shrugged, “and I want you to make love to me after you have performed a silencing charm on this room. It seems I cannot find my wand.�

As they lay there hours later, Severus reveled in the feel of her skin against his and the smell of her hair. She was sleeping again and he loved feeling like he was there to protect her and the baby he knew she was now growing thanks to the ancient charm placed on her at her own birth. It was not too late for them, he smiled thinking of their children, and grandchildren. He smiled knowing that he would grow old not alone, but with the woman he loved by his side. He smiled knowing that through his “death� he was finally free of the Dark Lord’s grasp. He smiled knowing every sacrifice Richelle had made to earn his freedom, and he smiled knowing that soon Harry Potter would defeat Voldemort and they could all return home.


THE END --please review!

The next morning Richelle awoke before her husband and went to seek her daughter. Heather, she knew, despite any façade, would be upset about meeting her father. She found the girl on the veranda watching the sun rise.

“Heather, I –� Richelle just did not know where to begin.

“I couldn’t sleep last night. Not a wink.� The girl never took her gaze from the horizon. “How could you, Mother?�

“Heather, there is so much to this situation that you do not understand.� Richelle wanted to assuage the anger she heard resonating in her daughter’s tone of voice.

“Understand? That’s the understatement of the year. I can tell you I understand how unfair you have been to me, to my father, and to Uncle Mattie.� Heather shuddered.

“Heather, please listen.� Richelle went to her side.

“You know he pines for you. I saw him just three days ago. I told him you were coming home soon. Merlin, this will break his heart.� She turned to face her mother.
“Heather, I have always been honest with him. He knew about my feelings and I never offered him anything but friendship. “ Richelle took a deep breath, not wanting to think about her good friend.

“Some friend you are.� The younger girl narrowed her eyes into silver slits.

“Heather!�

“I swear, Mum, I have never been so disappointed with you in my whole life. I looked up to you. I admired you, and you are nothing but a lying coward!� Heather turned around, again facing the sea.

“Heather, darling, you do not understand. It was a bad time when I left Britain. I was fleeing out of fear for my life and my unborn babies. Your father, well, he was living rather dangerously.�

“Voldemort?� Heather’s pitch softened .

“Yes, Heather, he was one of the Death Eaters. It is really hard to escape that life.�

“But you did, and so did Uncle Matt. Why didn’t you ask my father to flee with you?� Heather turned a perplexed eye to her mother.

“Heather, it is a long story. We should probably all three discuss this, you, your father, and I.�

“I cannot believe he doesn’t hate you for keeping me a secret for eighteen years.� Heather stopped and looked at her watch. “Great, almost seven.�

“Do you need to be somewhere? I thought you would have the whole weekend with us.� Richelle tried to hide the disappointment rising into her throat.

“Well, I didn’t know there would be so many house guests, and I had planned a surprise for you.� Heather looked around and sighed.

“What surprise?�

“Uncle Matt is bringing us breakfast. I forgot to owl him last night to cancel. Bugger!� Heather slammed her fist on the rail.

“Uncle Matt?� Neither of the women heard Severus approach, but when Richelle looked up, she could tell from the expression on his face that he did not like the idea of Uncle Matt.

Before she could speak, her daughter answered for her, “Matthew Gladstone is an old friend of Mum’s. They went to school together. He has lived here almost as long as we have and has become like family to us.�

“Gladstone?� Severus looked at his wife. She knew he remembered her using that name as a ruse once before.

“Um, well, Severus, you see, he well—“

A loud pop sounded behind him, announcing the arrival of Matthew Gladstone. As Severus turned to face the man, Richelle silently winced.

“Black?� Severus spat out the name in disgust.

“Snape?� The man whom Heather was rushing to embrace echoed in disbelief.

“So, Severus, I suppose you remember Regulus then.�

“Regulus?� Now Heather was confused.

“Yes, well, Heather, Matthew Gladstone is an alias for Regulus Black. Reg, well, he was in just as much trouble as I was when he escaped, so he completely changed his name.� Richelle glanced nervously between her friend and her husband.

“Snape, what are you doing here?� Regulus Black squeezed out a question.

“I could ask you the same, Black.�

“Well, I was invited. These girls are my family; I look after them.�

“Well, I was invited too, and Richelle is my wife and Heather my daughter.� A smug smirk appeared on Severus’s lips. He always thought Regulus Black was a fool, a dimwit. As much as Severus hated his brother Sirius, he thought Regulus too was a complete imbecile and he loved besting him.

“Well this is awkward.� Richelle could think of nothing else to say.

“Indeed.� Heather narrowed her eyes at her mother, completely disgusted by how her mother’s lies had led to this uncomfortable moment. “Dad, why don’t we go get some tea.�

Severus did not want to leave, not even with his daughter. Was his wife involved with Black? Had she been in the past? He wanted answers, yet he also wanted to show his daughter his reasonable side. So, he turned and followed her into the cottage.

Richelle tried to smile at the wizard who stood before her. “Reg, I don’t know what to say.�

“You know, Chelle,� he muttered quietly. “I’m not surprised. You’ve always told me that you still loved him. I always knew that you could not love me—“

“But, Reggie, you know I do love you. You have been a rock for me. You’re family. Like a brother.�

“Ouch.� He shook his head. “I don’t want to be a brother.�

“Oh Reg, I am so sorry I hurt you.� Richelle touched his arm benevolently.

“Don’t be sorry, Chelle. I have done this to myself.� He pulled her into an embrace. “Besides, I am actually happy for you and for Heather. You deserve a chance.�

In the kitchen, Severus struggled to not look out the window while his daughter prepared the tea.

“He’s crazy about her.� The girl offered him a cup.

Severus took the cup and had a sip.

“He’s been in hiding for years. He stayed here for awhile, but moved to the mainland when I was little. “

When her father said nothing, she continued.

“This past year, he took care of me while she was gone. She told him she was doing research for a new book. I even spent the holidays with him.�

Severus focused on his breathing. Stay calm. He was irate that Regulus Black knew his daughter better than he did, but he could sense her affection for the other man.

“I’m glad he’s here today,� she hesitated. “I mean, it’s time that he knew the truth about you and that there is no chance for him with Mum.�

Severus looked up and found his voice. “And, are you content with that? You seem to be rather fond of Mr. Black.�

He was worried about her response.

“Dad,� she said as she gazed into his eyes, “I have always wanted a father. Mattie, I mean Regulus, has always been there for me and he will always be special to me. “

Severus nodded.

“But I am so happy to have you, to know you. This is the opportunity I have dreamt of for so long and never thought possible.�

Severus smiled.

“Don’t get me wrong, though. I am angry. Mostly, I’m angry with Mum for keeping this secret, but I’m angry that the whole situation had to happen.�

Severus wanted to touch her, but he held his arms by his side. “Don’t be mad at your mother. She was rash, yes, but she did what she did because she loved you.�

Heather smiled and went to embrace her father. “Let’s take this tea outside now.�

They found Richelle and Regulus looking over the ocean in silence.


“We brought some tea out for you.� Heather placed a tray on the little table.

“Thank you,� Regulus started to say but faltered. “Thank you, dear, but I don’t think I’ll stay today.�

Severus was cheering inside, but could see the heartbreak on all three faces. “That isn’t necessary, Black.�

“Well, I do have a lot to do today, and I realize that the three of you have a lot to learn about each other.�

“Don’t be a stranger, Regulus, please.� Richelle’s eyes were misty.

“Oh, I won’t be. I’ll drop by sometime next week for dinner; I’d love to see Cissy again. I’m dying to get to know that boy of hers. I’ll bring the wine.�

Both women smiled brightly.

“Regulus?� Severus knew what he needed to say, and it pained him to do it.

“Yes, Snape?�

“Thank you.�

“For – “

“Thank you for taking care of my girls when I could not. I owe you more than I can say.� He extended a hand to the other wizard.

“You’re welcome.� Regulus offered his hand too. “Just don’t hurt them again or you will answer to me.�

With that Matthew Gladstone, otherwise known as Regulus Black, Disapparated back to the mainland.

Heather and her two parents stood in awkward silence for a moment, and then she turned to them.

“I think it’s time that I get the truth.� The girl’s eyes narrowed and she turned to the table, taking a seat. “I want every detail.�

|
It's the same thing night all night
Who's wrong and baby who's right
Another fight and I slam the door on
Another battle in our dirty little war *
When I look at myself I don't see the man I wanted to be
Somewhere along the line I slipped off track
I'm caught movin' one step up and two steps back
~Bruce Springsteen

“Heather.� Richelle reached for her daughter’s hand, but the girl pulled away. “Heather, please say something; we know that this has been difficult to hear.�

Heather heaved a sigh and looked at her parents with narrow silver slits. “I am trying to figure out how I ended up with any sense at all considering that both of my parents are idiots.�

Richelle winced and Severus raised one brow and turned his head toward his daughter as she continued, “For years I have know about your rash, foolish decisions, Mother, but honestly, in my head I had convinced myself that my father must be this level-headed genius. I think I’m going to be sick.�

Severus struggled to find some words that would comfort his daughter. “Heather, I am sorry. This truly is my fault, but I hope that you will one day be able to forgive me. We have already lost so much time together.�

“Oh, I will forgive you. “ Heather stood and slid her chair beneath the table. “In my heart, I am so happy to have you here that I know I forgive you. But, I do find the need to be mad for a little while. I’m going inside now.�

With that, she entered the house where Narcissa, Draco, and Albus were chatting in the kitchen. Heather retreated to her room without greeting them at all.

“So, Professor Dumbledore, how long do you think we’ll be here?� Narcissa inquired nervously as she offered the old man a cup of tea. She really did not like being closed up with this man that her husband had convinced her to hate for so long, and she was not quite sure what the Professor thought of her.

“Well, Mrs. Malfoy.� Dumbledore’s eyes twinkled as he addressed her, “I think as we are all housemates for the time being, we should embrace a more casual relationship. I would like you and young Draco to call me Albus.�

“Well, Albus, we are practically family.� She offered a smile, but Draco didn’t really say anything.

“Thank you, Narcissa.�

Draco looked at the old man and tried to find words. How could he tell the old wizard that he was sorry? How could he get past the regret that filled him?

“Draco, you have barely spoken since we arrived here.� His mother admonished him slightly.

“I know.� Draco mustered some courage and looked at the professor again. “I…umm….I, well, I would like to tell you how much I regret not trusting you.�

“Draco, dear boy, if not trusting an old man is the biggest mistake you make when you are sixteen, then – � Albus Dumbledore paused and looked the boy in his eyes. “Draco, all is well now. Don’t think on this a minute more.�

“Thank you, sir.� Draco tried to smile.

“Yes, well, let’s talk about something more fun, shall we?� Dumbledore’s eyes danced with excitement as they peered over the spectacles and his new friends. “You may not know this, but I do love a bit of harmless gossip, so what do you think is happening outside?�



Out on the veranda, Severus and Richelle had not spoken, nor were they looking at each other. Severus tried to keep his feelings in check, but right now he was angry again. He should have known that things were going too smoothly with his daughter. He was angry with himself for all of his past mistakes, and to be honest, he was still mad about Regulus Black being a part of his daughter’s life while she had been hidden from him.

“Severus?� He felt her gaze resting on him.

“Richelle, I think it’s best if we don’t talk right now.�

“Severus, your mind is closed to me again and I don’t like it.�

“You wouldn’t like it if it were open either.� He did not want to argue and he knew that no good would come of him expressing his feelings.

“Severus, please. I don’t want to have a row, but we don’t need to go backwards. If we stop communicating, well, isn’t that what happened before?�

“Indeed.� He turned to her with a glare. He knew he was about to make a mistake, but his emotions were now commandeering his reason. “Well then, exactly how close were you to Black?�

“I’m not sure what you’re implying Severus.� Richelle’s eyes narrowed slightly, and Severus was quite sure that she did know what he was implying.

“Were you intimate with him?�

“Severus!� Richelle nearly came out of her chair.

“Well?� It was too late to retreat. He had pushed the button.

“Severus Snape! When I was sixteen years old I told you about the fertility charm! I was cursed and I can only control my fertility when I am with the man to whom I am married. Do you see other children running around here!�

“It’s been nearly two decades, Richelle, and being the brilliant witch that you are perhaps you found a way to break that charm.� He should have stopped there, but he didn’t. “Besides, there are ways to be intimate that do not produce unwanted children.�

“You arse!�

“It seems I hit a nerve.� Why was he smirking? This was not making him happy.

“You did, but not what you think! I will admit it, Regulus loves me and he has tried over the years to be with me, but he always got the same response. I told him I was married and that I loved someone else!�

“Chelle, I –� Reasonable thoughts began to creep back into his mind, and Severus tried to come up with a way to take back the accusations.

“And furthermore, you have no reason to talk to me about my fidelity! Do you know why I looked at Draco’s eyes when we made contact? Do you?�

Severus tried to keep any emotion from his face. He already knew why she looked, but he did not want to hear what she was saying.

“The silver eyes are a dominant trait in my line. If you are a Bowen, you have silver eyes. Lucius and I, we both have silver eyes; our mother had silver eyes. I had to be sure that Draco’s eyes were silver and that he was Lucius’s child. I know, Severus!�

Severus wondered if he could feign innocence by asking what she knew, but he knew that he could not fool her.

“I came back once, just before our babies were born. I just wanted to see you. I missed you so much. I came back and hid under a charm. I didn’t want you to see me, but I needed to see you. I fell asleep waiting for you and I woke to, to you and Narcissa.� Her voice started to break and she willed herself not to cry. “I left right away, and I went into labor the next day. I blamed both of you for that.�

Severus reached for her hand, but she pulled away and stood.

“I meant what I said when I said I didn’t want to argue. I just need to be alone for a while.� Richelle moved swiftly.

Severus watched her walk down the beach. He thought once again of his foolish mistakes and the price both he and his family had paid for them. He would not let his pride get in the way anymore. He rose and followed her.

She stood at the southern most point of the island. When he reached her, he rested a hand on her shoulder. She tried to pull away again, but he tightened his grip.

He moved closer and wrapped both arms around her. She stood there, frozen.

“Chelle, I could apologize again, but I think you have grown weary of that. I wish I could take it back. There is no excuse really. I was grieving for you and vulnerable. Narcissa was grieving another child. We were drinking and it just happened, just that once. I would never betray you like that, not knowing that you were alive.� He felt her begin to relax in his arms, but he knew he had to tell her everything. “I won’t lie to you now. There were other indiscretions, but no other relationships. You are the only woman I have ever loved.�

She kept her eyes on the sea, but put her hands upon his arms. “Severus, I know I am being unreasonable. I just hate to think of these hands on another woman.�

“I shouldn’t have made the implications about you and Black.�

“No, you shouldn’t have.�

He placed his lips against the crook of her neck. “Did I tell you that I love your hair at this length?�

“Oh, Severus.� Her voice faltered a bit and she closed her eyes for just a moment.

“Tell me we’re not going backwards.� He tightened his arms around her.

“We’re not going backwards.� She turned to face him and her lips met his in forgiveness and in need.