A/N: This is a sequel to Ethereal Words, and I suggest reading it first, as it will give some background information about this story. I hope you like it! Also, kudos to my beta Hermione Weasley xx: thanks so much!

I don't own any of JKR's stuff, as you know, but I would greatly appreciate it if you wouldn't copy my OC, Alise.

Disowned

“You are taking your vows, aren’t you?�

Silence.

“Aren’t you?�

“Father, I can’t, I-�

“And why not?� he demanded of me.

“I-I don’t want to end up like my brother,� I replied tentatively, knowing full well what my father’s reaction would be to this.

I had crossed the line. No one spoke of my brother in front of my father. No one. He glared at me with stony eyes that chilled my blood. I looked at my mother whose eyes appeared depressed, as if she knew exactly what was going to happen.

My father looked at me, trying to understand my decision, his black, glittering eyes piercing my soul. Without changing his expression, he spoke to me, his tone steely. “Get out of my house.�

Mum started to cry, loud enough to startle my father. He looked at her, and then back at me. “Father, you-� I started.

“You are no daughter of mine,� he said coldly and without emotion, sending me the most hateful look I had ever seen him give to any person. And that was saying something.

“Lucius,� Mum whispered through her tears. “Don’t-�

He turned to her sharply and said, in the most dangerously calm voice I’d ever heard escape his lips, “I will not have another child of mine disgrace the family name. As far as I’m concerned, we have never had any children, and we are still waiting for one.�

----------

I shivered as soon as I set foot in that orphanage. Although I would only be staying there for a night, just to wait for my foster parent to pick me up, I still felt a wave of dread wash over me. I had known that this would happen the moment I decided not to become a Death Eater. I was a strong person, one who would pull through all the tragedies that came along with being disowned. There was no way that I would allow myself to be killed, thus breaking my mother’s heart…like my brother had. I knew that I’d hurt her already – I’d known that the moment I’d caused my father to disown me…but I also knew that I couldn’t submit myself to my father’s will for me to be the loyal Death Eater, like my brother, and get myself killed.

The matron led me to my bedroom, a small closet-sized space, big enough only for a small bed and a small dresser. There were particles of dust that had settled onto the bed and into the disheveled pillow, giving both a brownish hue. Clearly, no one had stayed here in a long while. I set my small bag of belongings, the few things I had been allowed to take with me, on the bed, which caused me to cough and sneeze as a cloud of dust flew into my face. Deciding it would probably be in my best interest to avoid the bed altogether, I sat down on the hard wood floor and pulled out a piece of parchment and quill so as to write my last goodbye to my favorite cousin and my dearest friend.

My dearest Sidney,

I told my parents, you know, about not wanting to end up like my brother, and as I anticipated, they disowned me. I have been forbidden to talk to you, or any of my family, and have obeyed them, with the exception of the letter I’m writing now.

I have to be honest; this really sucks. However, I absolutely refuse to walk around, belonging to an illegal group of people, and I hope you understand that, but if you don’t, that’s your problem. You know you are my best friend and my favorite cousin. We were inseparable, as your mother puts it, or used to put it, or--whatever, you get the point! Anyway, I never will forget the time I put ink in your pumpkin juice, and you thought that it was hot chocolate. I remember the look on your face when you first looked in the mirror: a look of sheer horror.

Anyway, I love you (Not like that! You know what I mean!), and I will miss you a lot. I hope you can say the same thing about me, and if you are too ashamed to call me your cousin, you can take your complaints and shove them right up your hairy—let’s just say you’ll be the biggest jerk ever or, at least, you will be in my book. Ha!

All my love,

Alise


As the tears threatened to spill, I rose from the floor and folded the letter, pulling my shoulder-length, dirty-blond hair into a ponytail to keep it out of my face. I blinked back the tears; if I was going to do this, I was going to have to be strong. I couldn’t let anyone see through me; I couldn’t let them know that I had weaknesses.

After beating the bed to the point where I was satisfied with the fact that I had gotten most of the dust off, I lay down and curled up into a little ball. I got this lump in my throat, like when you swallow a small grape tomato without chewing it first, as I thought about the last time I saw my mother.

---------

She looked desperately into my father’s eyes; it was almost as if she were begging him to let me stay. “Don’t do this Lucius,� she whispered pleadingly to him.

He ignored her. He had always treated her as an inferior, so why should this circumstance be any different? “Narcissa, don’t start,� he told her without a trace of regret.

My mother turned to me and watched as the men my father had hired from the adoption agency led me by the arm to the portkey. Her eyes were glazed with tears, and I saw her draw herself up in anger. “You bring her back here this instant, Lucius!�

“Cissa, end of discussion. She is no longer our daughter.�

“If you don’t bring her back right now, I am going to do it myself! I will not lose another child just because you don’t want to feel embarrassed!�

He looked at her incredulously, amazed that his wife was standing up to him. “You will do no such thing!� he threatened quietly, menacingly.

“And I suppose you are going to stop me?� she inquired, her voice dripping with sarcasm as she folded her arms. I looked at her in amazement; she had never dared to be cheeky to my father. I had never dared to be cheeky to my father, for fear of what might happen to me. And I was well-known for my cheek.

In one swift movement, his hand made contact with her cheek. I was horrified, and for the first time, I started to fight the agent to go help my mother.

My mother just stood there; a red mark shaped like a hand was already forming on her face. For what seemed like days I fought the man who was holding me back, though to no avail. I saw tears well up in her eyes. She looked at me lovingly and turned back to look at my livid father. He grabbed her arm and whispered something in her ear and she nodded though looked absolutely terrified. As I felt the tightening sensation on my chest, I caught her eye, and she looked back at me, sorrowful and tearful as I disappeared before her eyes.

----------

And thinking of that event that had taken place a couple of months ago, I cried for the first time in three years. I hated my father, and I vowed that I would kill him if it was the last thing I did. How dare he strike her? I still remember the look on her face as she saw me disappear. An expression of horror and a look of despair. It is a look that will haunt me forever. It is a look that I will see every time I shut my eyes.

It is a look I will never forget.



A/N: Just FYI, Sidney is a boy, and I will explain that further in later chapters, when Alise goes back to Hogwarts. I hope you liked it; please review!

Disclaimer: I own everything you don’t recognize, and I don’t own anything you do.



Imperfection

This is what you get; this is who I am.
Take me now or leave me, any way you can.
Sometimes I trip and fall, but I know where I stand.
And if you’re thinking of a change in my direction,
don’t mess with imperfection.
--Imperfection by Saving Jane





“Stop fidgeting, Alise!� the matron, Mrs. Pensk hissed.

“You go to an orphanage and get adopted by someone you’ve never met before, and then tell me not to fidget!� I spat back.

The matron rolled her eyes; she was glad to be getting rid of me for one reason: my world renowned mouth. I just sat there wringing my hands and playing with the necklace that I hadn’t once taken off since I received it for my fifth birthday. I always fingered it when I got nervous, kind of like a worry stone.

I tucked the necklace into my shirt as I heard a light knock on the door. The matron stood up quickly, leaving me in her office. The butterflies in my stomach seemed as if they were about to fly out of my throat. I hoped that I wasn’t showing my nervousness, but somehow it seemed inevitable. I heard faint conversation in the hallway and strained my ears so I could hear what was being said.

“Come in,� the matron said politely.

I heard someone stomp their feet on the old floorboards as Mrs. Pensk shut the door. “She’s right in here…and I must warn you, she has one heck of a mouth.�

A laugh echoed through the hall, one decidedly feminine. “I wouldn’t adopt a quiet child,� she replied, still chortling, as if she had adopted me for that very reason.

Their footsteps grew louder as the two women approached Mrs. Pensk’s office. Mrs. Pensk stepped in first and held open the door for my new mother.

I was quite surprised when I first realized that I was being adopted by a Weasley. I knew she was from that clan as soon as I caught sight of her hair—which was the first thing I saw. My father had always spoken ill of the Weasleys, and I was about to say something about him when I realized I didn’t want to screw up my chances. I was in no position to make a smart-aleck comment, not when I had been up for adoption for four months and she had been the only person who wanted me. I was out-spoken, but I knew where to draw the line. I truly wanted to get out of the God-forsaken orphanage, and I was not about to give my new mother a reason not to adopt me by making a wise-ass comment.

As soon as she saw me, she smiled, which was something I hadn’t seen in a long time…from anyone. “You have your brother’s eyes,� she mentioned, but as soon as she had said it, she put her hand over her mouth. Apparently, she had said something she wasn’t supposed to. I looked as Mrs. Pensk, who had seemed not to have heard it.

“Ms. Weasley, this is Alise,� the matron introduced, motioning towards me.

I stared at her, then back down at my feet. This was awkward. I locked eyes with her again, and, like I had done so many times at my parents’ dinner parties, managed a strong, “It’s nice to meet you.�

The woman smiled. She had a soft air about her, and her smile was one of warmth. But when she smiled, I caught sight of a pained expression that hid behind those fierce brown eyes. I knew that expression. It was the same expression I’d had in my eyes since being put up for adoption…even if I never let anyone see it. She looked at me once again and walked over to Mrs. Pensk’s desk to sign the papers.

My hand went to my neck, fumbling for my necklace. The heavy locket felt hot in my palm. This wasn’t an ordinary necklace; I’d figured that out when the Dark Lord requested that my father bring me to one of his meetings and had then proceeded to call me forward. I was terrified, and my father had to give me a small push before I was able to draw myself up to step out from the ranks of Death Eaters. I had grown up with these people: Rosier, Aunt Bellatrix, Avery, Greyback and so many others. I was not afraid of them. The Dark Lord, however, was a different story. This man, if you want to call him a man, had killed thousands of people, all with a single flick of his wand, and there I was, standing two feet from him, looking down respectfully.

He bent down to my level and cupped his pale hand to my chin and lifted my face up to look him in the eye. “There is no need to be afraid. I will not harm you,� he told me. It hadn’t meant much, coming from him, but despite that I softened my expression. He traced one finger down the side of my face, sending chills down my spine, and down my chest to stop at the necklace. As soon as his bony finger touched it, it grew painfully hot, but I did not wince. He smiled to himself and straightened up.

Looking me in the eye, he whispered, so that only I could hear, “You will have a part in this war before it’s all over, Miss Malfoy.� He sent me back to my father, who appeared to be confused, and continued to talk to his followers, and it was all I could do not to look down at my necklace.

The Dark Lord was right. He wasn’t going to harm me. I didn’t know it then, but I soon figured out that it was no ordinary necklace that hung around my neck. I also came to the conclusion that I was an insurance policy meant to protect the necklace. Clearly the necklace was important to him—otherwise, there wouldn’t have been an extremely powerful Permanent Sticking Charm on it. He was using me to protect the necklace, because he knew that to get it off my neck, someone would have to kill me. He didn’t have to worry about his followers: he had to worry about Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Why they would want the necklace, I didn’t know, but obviously Voldemort wanted to keep it safe from them. Of course, he knew that Harry Potter wasn’t going to kill an innocent girl for a necklace. It is a rather ingenious plan, I have to admit, but I don’t like being a pawn in this game called war.

Well, I’m practically going into the Order’s hands now. Great work dad, I thought, smiling to myself. I knew that he was going to be in big trouble. He deserved it. Every minute of whatever the Dark Lord was going to do to him.

“Just sign right here,� Mrs. Pensk said happily.

My new mother stood up and walked over to pick up my bag. “Well, I guess we should get going,� she beamed.

I rose from my chair. “We’ll have to use Floo Powder. You can’t Apparate, and it’s to far to fly,� she explained to me. She turned to Mrs. Pensk before adding, “Do you have a fireplace?�

Mrs. Pensk pointed to the room across the hall without looking up from her papers. “Thanks,� I made a point of saying, as if to prove her wrong.

The rude lady nodded, again not looking up from her desk. I rolled my eyes. “And you wonder why I’m so cheeky,� I added sarcastically.

Mrs. Pensk mechanically smiled, as if she was trying very hard not to yell at me, while Ms. Weasley snorted; apparently, she thought Mrs. Pensk was rude as well. I looked up at her, amazed that she didn’t seem to be planning to condone my mouth. Had my real father heard me say that, I would have gotten in so much trouble.

My new mum led me over to the fireplace and pulled a drawstring bag out of her purse, which I assumed was a small amount of Floo Powder. She threw some in the fireplace, stepped in and called out, “Number twelve, Grimmauld Place!� The green flames engulfed her, and I stepped in shortly afterwards.

I turned around to face the room. “Number twelve, Grimmauld Place,� I exclaimed clearly, knowing all the while that the butterflies in my stomach weren’t fluttering about because I was traveling by Floo Powder.



A/N: Thanks so much to my lovely beta, Hermione Weasley xx, for all her help! the second half of this chapter will come soon, I promise! Did you like it?

Reasons Why

No more choking on regrets to keep you satisfied.
I am coming up for air out of this heavy night.
All the scenery is different when you’re not so small.
I think I can take this fall.
--Reasons Why by Saving Jane



A/N: Sorry it took so long to update! I’d like to thank my amazing betas starlight_marauder and Fizzing_Wizbee022. They are the most helpful people ever!
Erm, hope you enjoy the chapter!




All eyes were on me. At least ten people were in the living room, staring at me. Talk about uncomfortable situations.

Deciding to make the best of my predicament, I stepped out of the fireplace and dusted myself off. Little specks of ash drifted to the hardwood floor as I searched for Ginny. One tall redhead man (Probably another Weasley, I thought) called to her. “Gin, get your butt out here before the awkwardness of the situation kills us all!�

“George, I’m coming!� I heard her yell from in another room across the hall. A few moments later she came back carrying some sheets, probably for my bedroom. A smile slowly crept onto her face as she saw me and she set the sheets on the sofa where a man with jet-black hair was resting. Beside him was a woman with shoulder-length bushy hair and next to her was a man with his arm draped around her shoulders. The man, George, had now joined someone who was probably his twin, or at least, could pass for his twin.

“All right, Alise, I’ll introduce you to everyone,� Ginny grinned.

She pointed to the twins. “Now, that’s-�

“Ginny, we can introduce ourselves, you know,� George’s twin exclaimed.

“Yeah, we’re not morons!�

Ginny rolled her eyes. “What do you think I am? Stupid?� She looked at me and said, “If you let them introduce themselves, they’ll tell you that they’re the other twin, and it’s really confusing, so I’ll save you the trouble. That one’s George,� she pointed to the man who had yelled at her earlier. “And that one’s Fred.� She pointed to his twin.

Fred looked at his sister. “You’re no fun,� he whined, and then turned to me. “How do you do?� He stuck out his hand. I smiled and shook it. This was going to be an interesting experience, especially with these two.

She walked over to the sofa, and pointed to the man and the woman next to him. “That’s Ron, my brother, and his wife, Hermione.�

“Hello,� I said politely. I was used to meeting strange people because of the many parties my parents had thrown over the ages. It was yet another tragic flaw in my education. Parroting hellos and smiling politely came more naturally to me even than breathing but that didn’t mean I was proud of it.

“Welcome to Grimmauld Place,� Hermione said with a smile that suggested she understood that I was completely overwhelmed by meeting everyone at once. “You’ll get used to all the people, believe me.� There was this air about her, one of compassion. Her husband just smiled kindly, giving a nod of welcome

“Looks like I’ll have to,� I smiled, growing to like this family already.

My gaze wandered to black-haired man with emerald green eyes. Barely visible through his messy fringe, was a scar shaped like a bolt of lightning. It took me a moment to realize that this man was, in fact, Harry Potter.

He noticed me looking at him and sat up. “Hello. I’m Harry,� he said kindly, but there was suspicion behind his eyes. I really couldn’t blame him; I was a Malfoy. However, he seemed like a person whose mind could be changed with the truth, which was what I wanted him, and all of the family, to know. The truth was that I was not like my parents before me, not at all. However, the reputation of the name, Malfoy, preceded me and I was going to have one hell of a time trying to prove my innocence to them.

I smiled back and looked up at Ginny. She smiled. “Mum’s in the kitchen, and is cooking up a storm. I suggest we all go get some food!�

I had not realized how hungry I actually was until she said that. I followed everyone to the kitchen, where we ate the most uncomfortable (yet delicious!) meal I’d ever had. It was basically silent, except when either Fred or George cracked a joke. Even these seemed to fall flat in the oppressive silence, although I was extremely grateful for their attempts to lighten the mood.

After we finished our meal, we all stood up and I started to help clear the table. No, I was not trying to “earn my keep.� It was habitual, actually. I had always helped the house elf with the dishes when mum and dad left, merely hoping for some conversation; my parents weren’t exactly the kind of people to converse with over dinner.

But as soon as I touched my plate, Mrs. Weasley ushered to my side. “No, dear. You go upstairs and get some rest. It has been a long day for everyone.�

I nodded. “Where is the bathroom?�

After being given directions to the bathroom, I left for my shower. It wasn’t long after I had bathed that I realized that the sheets for my bed were still downstairs on the sofa. I threw on some pajamas and quietly went downstairs to grab them. However, as I neared the bottom step, I heard my name. I stopped where I was to listen to the conversation being held between Ginny, Ron, and Hermione.

“Look, Ginny. All I’m saying is that we can’t trust her completely. After all, she’s a Malfoy,� Ron said, putting stress on my surname.

“Ron, how dare you! I chose to adopt her for personal reasons of my own! And now, you’re not only insulting Alise, but my own intelligence! I knew full well who she was, going into this adoption, and I went through with it anyway!� Ginny shouted back.

“Ginny, her parents were Death Eaters! Her brother was a Death Eater! We can’t trust her! What if she’s a spy? Hm?�

“Ron?� Hermione asked to get his attention. “Ginny has a point. We have no idea what this girl has been through. We should give her a chance.�

I’d heard enough. Outraged at Ron’s words, I stormed down the last couple of steps and made my presence known.

Everyone gasped upon seeing me. “I-er,� Ron started.

“How dare you?� I yelled. He looked flabbergasted as I continued. “How dare you insult me like that! Do you think that it’s easy, being the daughter of two Death Eaters? Do you know how many people I have seen tortured and sometimes killed, right in my own house, because of that?� I was screaming now, but I didn’t care. “Do you know what it feels like to be disowned by your own parents because you decide that you don’t want to take that road? Because you don’t want to end up like your brother, who, may I remind you, is dead because of his service to the Dark Lord?�

I was crying now. Sobbing, actually. I continued with a harsh whisper. “Do you know what it feels like to see your mother sobbing because your father put you up for adoption? To see her physically hurt because, for once in her life, she decides to stand up to your father and attempt to save you?�

All this anger, all this hate, had built up inside me over the past three months, and there I was, letting it all out in front of three complete strangers. This must have been strange for them, seeing a fourteen year old girl let out all her anger in a completely strange way. I was angry at him, angry at my father, and angry at myself.

I sank to the ground, hiding my face behind my hands in embarrassment and sadness. Tears streamed down my cheeks, even as I attempted to wipe them away. This was unlike me, to show my feelings. In my own crazy world, this was my way of opening up, and I hadn’t done this in a long time. I could feel the Weasleys’ eyes on me as I sat there, taking deep breaths.

“Ron, go away now,� I heard one of the women say, and I was immediately grateful that they had. I didn’t want to look at him at the moment, much less talk to him. I knew it wasn’t his fault; I couldn’t really blame him for being mistrustful. It was the part where he suggested that I was a Death Eater that had set me off. I would probably end up forgiving him in the end, but not right now; I was still as mad as hell.

I finally looked up to see the two women kneeling down beside me, Ginny moving to touch my shoulder. I desperately needed a comforting arm at that moment and did not push them away, as I normally would have done. I just let her put a comforting arm around me. “Just let it all out,� she consoled.

And I did.

It felt like forever before I stopped sobbing. I had never been offered a shoulder to cry on. Never. Yet, this woman I barely even knew was sitting beside me, offering me her own. As soon as I realized this, I felt a connection with her, and with her sister-in-law, one kind of connection I’d never had with my own family.

I wiped the remaining tears off my cheeks and stood up. “Th-thank you,� I said quietly.

They just smiled at me kindly and motioned for me to go upstairs and sleep. “You must be tired,� Hermione said.

I nodded and slowly trudged up the wooden steps with a feeling of dull happiness filling my heart. It was strange to feel hope after months spent trying to learn how to survive without it, but it was a change I welcomed gladly. One day in their home had shown me just how much needed to change if I were ever going to escape from my past. I had the sneaking suspicion, however, that the other lessons would not be so easily won.

Hope you enjoyed! All criticisms are accepted!