Remus looked into the faintly watermarked mirror and was faced with his own, greying appearance. His eyes were encompassed in black circles and his skin appeared pale and papery. All in all, his reflection mirrored his feelings.

It was Valentine’s Day, and it had been a hard day for Lupin, one he would grow to cherish … and to regret.

***

She fluffed her hair weakly. Today, it was the same lank, mousey brown hair it had been for the last seven months. She couldn’t even brighten it with the pale turquoise robes she had adorned for the day.

Today has to go perfectly, she thought, glancing up at her own image in the full length mirror. Smoothing over the tiny creases in the material of her robes, Tonks reassured herself, Today will go perfectly.

She had held high hopes for this romantic day from the moment Remus asked to spend it with her. She took one final look at her reflection before grabbing her wand and hastily Disapparating. Her reflection, too, disappeared in a whirl of pale green material.

***

“Here we are,� Remus announced, stretching his arm out in the direction of the picnic basket and blanket he had laid out an hour or so earlier.

“A picnic? You shouldn’t have gone to so much trouble,� Tonks said with an appreciative smile. Outwardly, she appeared calm and collected, but inside she was warmed at the thought of him preparing a picnic for her.

“Incendio,� Remus said, pointing his wand at the ground. A crackling fire immediately lit up right next to where the picnic blanket lay. “This ought to help keep us warm. Get comfortable,� he added, smiling nervously at Tonks.

As they sat down, their arms knocked together. “Oh, sorry, Remus,� Tonks apologised. “I’m always so clumsy. It’s a wonder that I manage to get out of the house in the morning without knocking myself out.�

“Not at all,� Remus waved her apology aside. “We all have our moments.� He reached into the picnic basket, pushed aside a loaf of bread, two club sandwiches he had made himself, and a thermos full of hot soup. Finally, he felt the soft, furry sensation he sought. “Ah, here, I…erm…I got you something. I hoped that it might cheer you up.� Her heart leapt.

“What is—� Tonks interrupted herself as a small teddy bear emerged from the basket. Its fur was blue, which soon faded to green, and then red. It was a colour changing bear! Remus was a little taken aback at the look on her face. He expected a smile but what he saw was quite different. She lowered her gaze and let out a deep, shaky breath.

“I’m sorry. I just thought it reminded me of you…� He trailed off, unsure of what had gotten into her.

“My hair, you mean?� she replied.

“Well, of course.�

“Not since Sirius,� she whispered, her eyes welling up. She quickly wiped the tears away, afraid that Lupin would see and think her to be weak.

Remus stared in horror. He hadn’t intended to remind her of Sirius. “I didn’t mean to upset—�

“It’s fine, really,� she cut across him. “It is. I’ll call the bear ‘Rainbow’, I think.� She tried to smile, but it wouldn’t fool the man sitting next to her. “Let’s eat, shall we?� she said in a falsely bright voice.

They ate in silence for the best part of twenty minutes, each looking around at the scenery. They were on a ridge overlooking Hogsmeade with the Shrieking Shack just down the slope from where they sat. Today, it looked like a rickety gingerbread house covered in icing.

The thick atmosphere between them made Lupin feel uncomfortable. He had to think of something to say, anything that would lighten the mood. Tonks shivered next to him despite the warm wash of air coming from the crackling fire that was dancing at their side.

“Come on,� he said suddenly, grabbing her hand.

“What are you doing?� she exclaimed, laughing.

“We’re going to build a snow-dragon. Come on,� he shouted over his shoulder, for he had run over to a patch of freshly fallen snow. Tonks grinned happily and jogged after him, sliding a little on the icy ground.

Together, they piled the snow into an enormous heap, added a head and some scales. Just as Remus was searching for some stones to make eyes for their snowman, he heard a sharp gasp of pain and turned to see Tonks covering one eye with her hand.

Concerned, he hurried over to her. “What happened?�

“Oh, no need to worry; it was my clumsiness again. Got ice in my eye,� she said hastily. “It’s fine, really.� There was that phrase again; the words that meant anything but what they pretended to mean.

Remus was not going to take a chance. “Even so, I think I’ll take a look,� he replied firmly. Giving in, Tonks slowly uncovered her eye.

Remus reached up and put his hand on her cheek to keep her eyelids from closing. It struck Tonk just how warm he was as his touch sent a comfortable wave of heat through her body.

“Okay, let me see.�

“I’m sure that it’s nothing. It just stung a little, that’s all.�

“Well, we’d best be safe,� he asserted.

He moved closer towards her in order to see into her eye. Her warm breath tickled his cheek as she kept her head tilted back. There was a slight rush of air between them and Tonks held her breath. Remus, who was intent on seeing into her eye, tried to keep his mind focussed, but with difficulty.

He had never been this close to Tonks before; it was strange and it seemed as if he was suddenly seeing her properly. He had never before noticed just how dark her eyes were, for instance.

His eyes then travelled slowly down, taking in the rosy patches on her cheeks, which the cold air had brought on. He realised how smooth and soft they were. As his gaze slipped further down her face, he saw that her lips were parted, ever so slightly. He felt an urge rush through him and he had done it before he could stop himself. Caught up in the intensity of the moment, he kissed her, just lightly and only for a second, but a kiss all the same.

As they broke apart, Remus noticed that the woman he had kissed was smiling broadly up at him. He felt a slight panic spread through him. What have I done?

“Tonks, I didn’t mean—�

“Remus, I know you can’t bring yourself to admit it, but we’ve been growing closer for a long time now, even with everything that has happened.�

Remus sighed. “But I’ve explained. You’re too young. I’m an old man now and you deserve someone who can give you what you want. You should have a happy life, not a life with a werewolf.�

“But—but you just kissed me. You can’t say that doesn’t show your true feelings; that it doesn’t mean something,� she said in a hurt tone.

“Tonks, my dearest, Tonks, what I want does not come into this. It’s not even a factor. We can’t be together.� He looked around as though he might find something to help him floating in mid-air. They were still quite close together, and he took a step back. As he did so, his eyes fell upon something that would illustrate his point precisely: The Shrieking Shack.

He grasped her hand and led her over to the brow of the hill. “Look,� he said softly, pointing down at the old house.

“What am I—?�

“Just look at the place,� he spoke over her. “You know its history and you know how horrible my life as a werewolf can be. I won’t let you get involved with that, I care too much for you.� She turned to face him and he noticed that a small smile was creeping across her face again. He was surprised. “What are you smiling at?� he asked dully. This endless circular argument that he and Tonks had found themselves in before was wearing him down.

“Nothing, you said you care for me. I care for you too, Remus. I know your situation. It’s fine, really.� There were those words again and he knew automatically that it would not be fine.

“I’m sorry,� he insisted. “We can’t do this. I don’t expect you to understand. You’re too young, too—�

She looked at him, searching for the assent she longed for, before she whispered the words she felt he needed to hear. “It’s okay, Remus. I do understand.�

Remus, however, was sure that the woman standing opposite him, the woman that he so adored, would not and could not possibly understand him.