Summary: Hermione has an unpleasant surprise for the people attending her first official S.P.E.W. meeting.
Categories: Poetry Characters: None
Warnings: None
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 1
Completed: Yes
Word count: 344
Read: 1693
Published: 03/12/07
Updated: 03/16/07
1. Poem by FenrirG
The Convention
Late in the summer of two-oh-oh-three,
It must have been... oh, let me see;
The end of July, or August the first--
Whatever the date--the day started off worst.
Chaos and clamber and lots of noise;
Humans and house-elves and girls and boys;
The presence of elves made the sight all the stranger.
And in the thick of it all? Why, Miss Granger!
Her hair was all poofy and big and large,
Resembling that of dear Harry’s Aunt Marge!
And she wore--what is that?--an old pillowcase,
That made others question her fashion and taste.
Sweet Luna was there, with her camera crew,
A green quill in hand, a gurdyroot too.
A house-elf named Dobby did wait in the lobby
To greet all the guests as the crowd swelled and grew.
Five minutes till noon, a small bell did ring,
And everyone stopped and dropped everything,
And turned to Miss Granger, who smiled with glee--
Then shouted to all, “Now you listen to me!”
“You wonderful members of Ess-Pee-Ee-Dub’yoo,”
(She scowled at Ronald, who howled out, “Spew!”)
“You’ve come here to chat about house-elves and such,
But I’ve a surprise that you shan’t like too much!”
Seeing the shock and surprise on their faces,
Hermione slowed her speech down several paces.
As though to a child, she slowly repeated,
Then held up a hand for the crowd to be seated.
“Each will be ‘ssigned to an elf for the day,
And that elf may treat you in any old way.
You’re living the life of an elf, each of you!
And when ‘tis all over... well, you’ll support... spew.”
So Dobby was partnered with Draco Malfoy,
And Winky’s new “slave” was that vile Crouch boy,
And Hokey (poor Hokey!) had Hepzibah Smith,
(Who she made serve hot chocolate, with nothing amiss!)
When the day ended, so grim and forlorn
The newly freed wizards trudged, tired and worn
Back to Hermione, who was pleased with herself...
Until she realized--she was still dressed as an elf!
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