Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters. *tear*

A/N: This is my first fic, so I don’t mind criticism, as long as some advice goes with it.
Plz R&R!

A/N2: Cmon ppl over 200 reads but only 7 reviews? Read AND review plzzzzzz *does pouty face*

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Tonks was going to kill Snape.

Because of him, she was now faced with a situation that was almost definitely going to end fatally.

She raced across the entrance hall, strangely calm considering the situation. When she yelled at Molly though, who was standing in the kitchen doorway, her voice did not reflect her calm demeanor.

“CLOSE THE FUCKING DOOR!!!�

Molly looked torn, so Tonks decided to close the door herself. Muttering under her breath, she pointed her wand at the kitchen door, slamming them closed. Now she was the only one not safely inside the kitchen. Now, she was the only one who was not safely hiding from a werewolf.

She turned to face Remus. She was the only one who called him by his name when he was like this, when he wasn’t himself. Most just called him “it.�

She held her wand steadily as he came around the corner. She realized she probably could have made it to the kitchen safely in time, but she had decided to take no chances. She was fully aware that she was about to die, but it wasn’t her imminent death that was bothering her.

It was the fact that if she was killed, a man, a friend, she cared deeply for would no doubt be devastated for the rest of his life.

Therefore, she decided that she would not allow herself to die.

But this left her in between a rock and a hard place. It was very hard to incapacitate a werewolf without killing it. And, she obviously could not do that.

Mentally shaking these unsure thoughts from her mind, she focused on the werewolf that was now circling her slowly, waiting for, well, whatever opportunity it is werewolves wait for.

The opportunity evidently came as it struck suddenly.

�STUPEFY!!�

The red beam hit him in the chest, making him pause. But after only half a second he leaped at her again.

She could not get any defense up in time. She was knocked flying, ending up tangled in the umbrella stand. Dimly, her battered mind realized that it was somewhat amusing that it happened to be the hated umbrella stand that stopped her momentum.

She got slowly to her feet, only to realize that her wand had been knocked from her grasp. The werewolf, somehow realizing that she was considerably more defenseless then she had been, leapt at her again.

She instinctively threw up her arms to protect her face from his vicious claws. Somehow, she managed to evade the snapping, frothing jaws, but her arms were horribly ripped by the claws. She lashed out with a foot, and he caught it right in the face.

She leaned against the wall, breathing and bleeding heavily, and closed her eyes, waiting for her unavoidable death. The pain in her lower arms, which were all but ripped off, was excruciating. She wanted release.

No. A small voice in her mind defied her defeat. You know you would ruin him. And yet you’ll still sit here and die?

No.

She slowly opened her eyes, and was about to get to her feet when her battered mind caught up with her.

The werewolf hadn’t moved.

She stared at him, and realized that she should have been dead by now. But there was something weird about him, and that something was probably why she wasn’t being torn to pieces right now.

She took a second, more scrutinizing look at the werewolf. He was foaming at the mouth, which wasn’t unusual, but there was a lot more froth than normal. And he was twitching slightly, in an almost comical fashion. And the eyes, they were…

“By Merlin’s beard…� she gasped, for the eyed were not those of a werewolf, but Remus’s.

Then out of nowhere, Remus collapsed and started shaking violently. He was having a fit.

***

The werewolf’s feral mind recognized the weakness of the prey before him. The smell of blood was driving it into a frenzy. He crept forward, and prepared to rip the life from its victim’s throat.

But something made it pause. Something didn’t want to rip and tear at the prey, didn’t want to kill. The werewolf suddenly thought that of a Tonks, whatever that was. The thought of this Tonks sent the werewolf into confusion. It started twitching slightly, and the drool and foam in its mouth increased in volume.

Must not…

A true thought, something that was not just an emotion or instinct, drifted through the werewolf’s mind.

No…Kill…No…Tonks…

Suddenly a second mind was fighting for control. The werewolf’s vision dimmed slightly. He wanted blood…no, he did not…

TONKS!!

The werewolf collapsed, twitching violently as the two minds inside it battled for control.

***

Remus could hear distant voices. His head was aching. He tried to open his eyes but failed. He had no strength, not even enough to do this simple task.

But his mind, which had now woken up somewhat, was working fine. He realized he had probably been injured somehow, that something bad had happened. The question was, how bad was bad?

He decided to find out. He listened closely, and could now make out the words being spoken.

“You can’t see him, he needs his rest,� a woman’s voice said.

Molly, he recognized.

“He’s been “resting� for 5 days now, I’m going to see him!� a second, much more aggravated woman’s voice shouted.

Tonks? He groaned, and suddenly realized how thirsty he was.

“Remus! You’re awake!� He heard Tonks barge in, and Molly started running away, yelling, “I’ll grab some water for him!!�

Then, with much effort, he finally opened his eyes to see…pink.

***

Tonks heard a groan, his first sound in 5 days, come from Remus. She immediately forgot her argument with Molly and barged into his room. As she sat in the chair by his bed, he opened his eyes, which seemed to focus on her pink hair with a confused look. His gaze then shifted to her face, and he gave a very tiny smile.

“Tonks?� he croaked.

“Remus!� she yelled again, her loud voice making him wince.

“Sorry,� she apologized, speaking quietly now. When he opened his mouth to say something, she stopped him quickly.

“Molly’s grabbing some water for you. Drink first, ask questions after.�

Tonks, although beaming with happiness on the outside, was worried. They had already discussed what they would tell him. They would say that Snape hadn’t shown up with the potion, so he transformed, but that they had locked him in a spare room, which was the only thing that was damaged that night. They would not tell him that he had tried to kill them all, that he had badly injured her, and almost killed her. She was fine, had only scars to show for their encounter (Molly had often praised “St. Mungo’s Miracle� in the last few days), but the knowledge that he had badly injured a close friend would no doubt affect him in a negative way.

Tonks thoughts were interrupted by Hermione, Ron, and Harry bursting in with huge grins plastered all over their faces, followed closely by Molly, who was carrying a jug of water with her.

The trio had been there when the incident occurred, and it had affected them all. Ron and Hermione had had a record amount of rows, and Harry, so soon after losing Sirius, had become even more surly and anti-social than he had been when he came to Grimmauld Place.

Now though, they all looked like Christmas had come early, and Tonks had to grab Hermione to stop her from jumping on Remus in happiness.

After taking a huge swig of water, Remus smiled broadly at them all. But Tonks could see a different story in his eyes. He still did not know what had happened, and from the relief on the trio’s faces he was now obviously staring to worry.

Molly, who had perhaps realized the effect this was having on Remus quickly ushered the trio from the room. Ron protested with a loud “but Mum,� but Molly would have none of it and sent them to go clean some corner of the house.

As soon as they had left, the smile on Remus’s face was instantly replaced by an almost frightened look. “What happened?� he asked, looking at Tonks.

So Tonks told him the “edited� version of the truth, and though he was obviously unhappy about the incident, he was relieved that nobody had been hurt. Out of the corner of her eye, Tonks saw Molly give her a concerned look, but she ignored it, knowing that Remus was quite observant, and would pick up on any uncertainty.

Molly’s mothering now came into affect. She announced with a no-argument tone that Remus needed his sleep. Tonks wanted to protest, wanted to spend more time with him, but relented, knowing that Molly was probably right. With a last smile at Remus, she left the room, quietly shutting the door behind her.

***

Remus smiled back at Tonks as she left. He lay back and sighed. He had again become a werewolf in front of friends, had again endangered them. He had almost killed Sirius, Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Snape last time (though would that have been so bad?), and this time he could have killed Harry, Ron, Hermione, Molly, or Tonks. Tonks….he knew he was falling for her, someone, what, 15 years younger than him? And like she would ever fall for a werewolf, no matter what age he was, a cynical voice in his mind reminded him. He lay there for hours as dark scenarios involving him killing someone, usually Tonks, raced nonstop through his mind. Finally, at around midnight, he jumped to his feet, and decided to go eat something. He was hungry, and hoped that getting up and about would drive the thoughts from his mind. As he reached for the door, he thought it was a bit drafty, and realized he was completely naked. Embarrassed at the thought that someone had seen him like this, he dressed quickly, and walked quietly downstairs to the kitchen.

But he never got that far.

As he walked by the living room door, a flash of movement caught his eye. He looked in, and to his surprise saw Tonks pacing rapidly back and forth, looking very distressed. He hesitated, then knocked and walked in.

***

Tonks was in turmoil. Everyone thought of her as the happy one, the one without a care in the world, but they couldn’t be farther off the mark. Any happiness she had she would give to others, always thinking they needed it more than her.

At the moment she wasn’t exactly sad. Well, maybe a little, but she was mainly confused. She had always cared deeply for Remus, but it had never been anything more (yes it was a little voice whispered) until 5 days ago. When they Apparated with his still twitching, feverish form to St. Mungos, and learned that it was still a cloudless night, she and Molly had looked at each other in shock. Remus had fought, and he had won. He had beaten the unbeatable. He had changed back to his human form when the moon was still out. When Tonks had found this out, she realized she loved him. She loved his stubbornness, his caring nature, how he always put others before himself. She didn’t care that he was a werewolf, that he was older than her. But she was just Tonks, Nymphadora Tonks, a metamorph who never failed to trip over her own feet. He deserved better –

A loud knock interrupted her thoughts, and there was none other than Remus himself walking toward her. He looked at her with concern etched on his face.

“You OK?�

Tonks immediately put on her usual happy masquerade and smiled.

“Yea, I’m fine. Just wasn’t very tired.�

She could tell he wasn’t buying it. He stared at her, seeing right through her disguise. Damn his observant nature,she thought to herself.

“No, you’re not fine.� he stated bluntly.

Tonks tried to quickly deny it.

“Really, I’m fine-“

“No, you’re not,� he stated firmly. He walked towards her stopping a few feet away.
“What is it?�

“Nothi-“

“Nymphadora Tonks I’m not blind. Something is bothering you and you’re going to tell me what it is.�

Tonks turned away, and tried to keep the tears in her eyes from falling. There it was again, that concern for others that she loved so much. But she couldn’t tell him, so she stood there, silent, as tears started to stream down her face.

***

Remus was less surprised then he thought he would be when Tonks started crying. He knew that she wasn’t nearly as happy as she seemed, had seen her when she thought no one else was around, and how unhappy she really was. But he had never seen her cry. And the second she did, he knew she had to talk to someone. So he put an arm around her and led her to the couch, where he gently but forcefully made her sit.

“Tonks, you have to tell someone what’s bothering you,� he prodded gently. “You can’t handle everything by yourself.�

She still would not look at him, and the tears continued to flow unchecked. He slowly put his hands on top of hers, and pulled her towards him. But something caught his attention out of the corner if his eye. He looked down at her bare arms, and instantly was overwhelmed in horror.

She had huge white scars crisscrossing her forearms. He recognized them immediately. He had some himself, everlasting reminders of the night he became a werewolf. Of course he knew where she had got them. Who she had got them from.

I did this…No…I should leave, I could kill someone next time…

He stood up, still in shock, and ran out the door.

***

When Tonks had finally looked up, she saw Remus looking in horror at her bare forearms. Her brain seemed to freeze as he stood up and ran out the door. When the door slammed shut, a single thought drifted through her still numbed mind.

Oh shit…

And suddenly she burst into action, leaping the couch, dodging the umbrella stand, and sprinting out the door. She looked up and down the street, and saw an already-distant figure running towards the public park. She immediately took off in pursuit.

She turned into the park, panting, and looked around. Finding Remus was not a hard thing to accomplish, as he was kicking anything within range and sobbing or swearing with every breath.

She timidly walked towards him, cautious since he was in such a violent state.

“Remus?� she called softly.

He didn’t hear her, or ignored her, so she called again, louder this time.

“Remus?�

This time he turned. Now he was the one who had tears streaming down his face. When he saw her he backed away, mumbling incoherently.

“Remus!� she yelled. She decided to try a forceful approach. “You stop right now and listen to me.� She sounded a lot like Hermione.

It did not have the desired affect as he turned and ran.

No matter how clumsy Tonks was, she could be amazingly fast when the need arose. As Remus took off for the second time, she again gave pursuit, and closed the gap very quickly. As she closed, she leapt, and brought Remus down in a flying tackle. He struggled, but she held on grimly, refusing to let go.

“Remus STOP!!�

He did stop, and instead lay there with his face pressed into the grass as sobs racked his body.

“Remus no one blames you for what happened.� Tonks said softly. Her heart was breaking as he lay there crying his heart out.

He turned over, and through his sobs whispered, “They’re right.�

Tonks looked at him, confused.

“Who’s right?�

Staring at the ground, he took a while to answer as he fought to control himself.

“Umbridge and all those people who think we should all be exterminated. They’re right, we’re nothing but a fucking menace to society.� His voice was rising, and he was ripping out chunks of grass.

Tonks was shocked. Remus was out of his mind. She said so.

“What the hell are you talking about? You’re not a menace. All you have to blame is that bastard Snape for not getting your potion.�

“I shouldn’t need a potion.� He got up and started to walk away. But Tonks grabbed his arm and pulled hard, so that he landed flat on his back.

“Don’t you dare try to leave, Remus Lupin. The Order needs you.� And I need you.

“Don’t try to flatter me Tonks. No one needs a werewolf.�

Now Tonks was getting pissed off. How could he do this to himself?

“Oh really. No one needs a werewolf. Are you blind, Remus?�

Remus looked at her, confused. What did she mean, was he blind? He sighed. It didn’t matter what she meant. He couldn’t stay with the Order any more. Who knows what damage he could do.

He stood up again, intent on leaving, but the pleading look Tonks gave him was like a physical blow. He tried to keep walking, but his legs refused to obey. So he stood there, knowing how retarded he must look, staring at some spot in the distance.

“You are blind, aren’t you Remus? You can’t even see how grateful people are to be around you, how grateful they are for all the times you’ve been there for them.� Tonks knew she had his complete attention now, so she kept talking.

“You have no idea how much people like Harry, who have been through so much, take comfort from your very presence. You have no idea how you make everything seem a little brighter, how you show us all hope just by accepting who and what you are with good grace.�

She was on a roll now, and was starting to get angry…

“You don’t even realize that some people care for you-“

… and she wasn’t watching her words.

Remus turned, thinking he had heard wrong. Was Tonks suggesting that she…he couldn’t even dare to think it. You probably just twisted her words. that cynical voice said. You’re probably just hearing what you want to hear, when really she hates you…

He started to turn away, actually believing that little voice, but was stopped cold by four words.

“Fuck you, Remus Lupin.�

Tonks had not said this in an angry voice. If she had Remus probably would have kept walking. She had said it in a disappointed tone, a resigned, desperate tone. As he turned around she was already walking away.

“Tonks, wait…� he called after her, though he didn’t know why he bothered, since only a few minutes ago he wouldn’t have wanted anyone around.

Tonks broke into a run, fresh tears running nonstop. But the agile Tonks she had been when she had chased after him was no more, and she tripped over the bottom of a slide, landing painfully on her face, and, from the feel of it, spraining her ankle. She heard Remus come up behind her.

“You alright?� he asked, concern in his voice.

“Like you would care.� she spat. She got a sense of satisfaction from the hurt on his face.

“I care more than you think,� he said quietly, which instantly wiped the angry look off her face.

Remus sighed. There, he had said it. He had admitted that he cared about her, so now he definitely couldn’t go back. He turned away, this time promising himself that he wouldn’t turn back.

He broke his promise.

A hand grabbed his shoulder spun him around, and the next thing he knew he was being kissed, and Merlin was it fantastic.

As Tonks broke off, he looked at her in wonder. He had never thought that she would feel for him as he felt for her.

“Wow, Tonks…�

Tonks had no idea what she was doing, what had driven her to kiss this man. Maybe it was her simple refusal to let him go so easily, maybe it was the firewhisky she had had earlier that night…

But she would never know what it might have been as Remus drew her in for another kiss, a lot more passionate than the first one. Tonks was going weak, and she thought she might have collapsed if Remus hadn’t been holding her up.

Remus abruptly broke off. From the look on his face it was definitely the last thing he wanted to do, and Tonks soon learned the reason why he had done so.

“Tonks what if I…lose control again? I can’t love you, I might kill you…�

Of that sentence, Tonks’ attention was captured by only two.

“Remus, you…love me?� she said, not believing.

He looked at her, his face showing the turmoil he was facing.

“Yes, Nymphadora Tonks, I love you, I love you more than anything, but…what if I hurt you again?? What if something worse happens…what if I kill you?� he looked at her helplessly, knowing that she couldn’t argue against his very nature.

“Remus, you could have killed me,� Tonks began, “But you didn’t. I was badly wounded, and completely helpless, yet you didn’t kill me. You just stood there, staring at me, and went into some fit, which ended with you changing back to normal, but…� She looked him in the eye and smiled. “You changed back when the moon was still up,� Her smile got wider when he was the look of utter amazement on his face. “You fought, and you won, Remus. You won.�

Remus was shocked. Supposedly nothing could change you back to normal except for the dawn. Yet he had changed…for her…

He looked down, and drew her into another kiss, which seemed to last forever (which was really 4 minutes), when they finally broke off, gasping for breath.

He looked her in the eyes, and told her what she already knew but wanted to hear again.

“I love you Tonks.�

She was almost crying from happiness. She beamed at him, and told him the same.

“I love you too, Remus.�

With that, they walked back to 12 Grimmauld Place, happier than either had been in a long time.