I couldn’t stop the blood. It was flowing too fast. It was too much. There was so much blood. I wanted it to stop.

I’m dying,
Praying,
Bleeding,
And screaming

But I didn’t want to stop the pain.

The pain felt good. It made me cry. I liked this crying. It was crying of joy. The joy that I’d soon be with him again.

Ron had been dead for a month. A month without my best friend. I was angry with myself. Angry for not having done this sooner. I knew death was the only way to rejoin Ron, why hadn’t I tried it sooner?

I hate me,
For breathing without you

My wrist was still bleeding freely. It was a horrible sight to see; my own blood, seeping from my wrists. But it was the only way it would happen. I would die, and be back with Ron.

I can’t live this life
Without you by my side
I need you to survive

But what of the others? What of Hermione? Ginny? Molly? Arthur? The rest of the Weasleys? My family? Could I really leave them like that? But of course, they’d understand. They’d know why I was doing this, right? They missed Ron almost as much as I did. They’d understand…right?

We’re all grieving,
Lost and bleeding.

I’m so confused. My mind is swirling. So many thoughts. All at once. It has to stop! I want to stop feeling confused, lost, depressed, angry, and worst of all, alone.

Always confusing the thoughts in my head,
So I cant trust myself anymore!

Yes, this was the only way. No one will stop me!

It’s getting so…blurry. I can’t see well. My room, it’s fading. I feel myself, falling. I know I’m dying, and I smile.

And I will die for you,
Cast me not away,
For I know I cannot,
Bear it all alone

“Harry!” I hear someone scream and I wince. They’ve found me. Like this. They’ve found me bleeding to death.

“Harry!” yells Hermione again. I see her blurred figure in the doorway. Things keep getting fuzzier and fuzzier. I can’t make out her face, but I know she’s frantic and scared. “Harry! What happened?!”

I hear her rapid footsteps running toward me. I want her to go away. To let me die in peace.

I hear her gasp and I know she’s figured it out. “Harry,” she whispers through tears, “why?”

And you forgive me again,
You’re my one true friend,
And I never meant to hurt you

“Ron,” I manage to whisper. “I need him.”

She breaks down crying. I feel her next to me. She’s shaking.

“Harry, we all miss Ron! We all do! But…” she pauses and I see her blurred face turn away, “we need to hold on.”

I want to stay in love with my sorrow,
Oh, but God, I want to let it go

“I…” I tried to tell her I was sorry, that it was hard for me to live without Ron, but my life turned black. All I heard was Hermione calling my name repeatedly. Screaming. Frantically.

Say goodnight,
Don’t be afraid,
Calling me,
Calling me,
As you fade to black

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I awoke to a bright light and knew I was in heaven. And, yes, it was! There’s Ron! My vision is still a bit blurred, but I recognize that red hair anywhere. Ron, Ron! I’m coming!

“Harry?” someone whispers to me, and I’m sunk in deep disappointment. It’s not Ron, but Ginny. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” I lie.

“Oh, thank Merlin! What were you thinking?! You had us terrified! You’re lucky Hermione found you when she did, or you’d be dead right now!”

“Yeah, I’ll thank her for not letting me die like I wanted!” I retorted angrily.

I want to die!!!
My God, my tourniquet,
Return to me salvation!

Ginny shakes her head in disbelief, tears forming in her eyes. “Harry…”

I sigh and turn away. “You don’t understand, Ginny.”

“Don’t say that!” she screams and I turn back to look at her. She’s positively furious. “Don’t say I don’t understand how it feels! Because, Harry, whether you like it or not, I was closer to Ron than you were! He was my brother! My BROTHER!!! I miss him a lot more than you do!!”

These wounds won’t seem to heal,
This pain is just too real,
There’s just too much that time cannot erase

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Ron’s tombstone is before me, and I can’t help but cry.

‘Ronald Billius Weasley,
Son, Brother, Friend, Hero.
We will remember you not for what you did,
But who you helped along the way.
Our loyal friend Ron,
Braver than he ever thought he was.’

I had helped engrave it. I don’t think it could be any more accurate.

I had come here for a reason, and I intend on doing it. From my pocket I take out a small silver picture frame. It is one that was taken at Ron’s last birthday. It was just me and him. No one else. Just us.

I reach into my other pocket and take out a carefully folded note to Ron that I had written this morning. I tuck it safely in the back of the frame, and kiss the picture itself, a few tears land on the glass. I don’t wipe the away. My grief should lay with our last memory. Leaning against the tombstone sits our picture, in the back, a letter to my friend, explaining everything.

‘Dear Ron,

I’m sorry I’m not with you yet. I was on my way, but Hermione stopped me. I’m trying as hard as I can. Don’t worry, we’ll be together again. You’re my best friend Ron, you know that. You know I’d do anything to be with you again. Goodnight, Ron. Soon, I’ll join you in your ‘eternal sleep’ as they call it. Goodnight.

-Harry’

Dry your eyes,
Because we said goodnight,
And not goodbye,
We said goodnight and not goodbye.

A/N: Songs (in order): ‘Tourniquet’ ‘Like you’ ‘Forgive me’ ‘The Only One’ ‘Going Under’ ‘Understand (Wash it all Away)’ ‘Forgive Me’ ‘Lithium’ ‘My last Breath’ ‘Tourniquet’ ‘My Immortal’ ‘Goodnight’ For the complete lyrics: http://www.azlyrics.com/e/evanescence.html