Realizations by Sly Severus
Summary: Attempting to complete an assignment for the Dark Lord, Bellatrix finds herself trapped in the Department of Mysteries. She is confronted with many obstacles and some ghosts from the past. However, she leaves feeling more sure of herself and her decisions than she ever has before.





An entry for Gauntlet 4 by Sly Severus of Slytherin.
Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Characters: None
Warnings: Abuse
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 5304 Read: 1382 Published: 05/19/07 Updated: 05/19/07

1. Chapter 1 by Sly Severus

Chapter 1 by Sly Severus
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters or anything in their magical world. These characters and their world belong to the talented J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros.



The only sound in the dreary corridor was the echoing of her footsteps. She wished they would be silent. Even that slight noise caused her to shiver. The corridor was dark, lit only by a few random candles. Visibility was minimal and she didn’t like it. Somehow the stretching hall made her feel like a caged animal.

Abruptly, she stopped moving. She could have sworn she heard something, but was only met by silence.

“Pull yourself together, Bella,” she chastised herself out loud. “If you keep this up, you really will be as crazy as they say.”

The sound of her own voice was somewhat comforting and she was able to move forward smoothly. She did not falter again. In the end, she knew that she couldn’t afford to. This was far too important.

Before long a large black door became visible. Arriving at the door, she reached for the handle, knowing it was what she had to do. There was no other choice. There was never another choice for her.

Stepping inside the room and closing the door, her world began to spin. The room was filled with doors and they whirled around her. She was no longer certain how she had entered. However, she turned decisively and chose a door, somehow feeling that it was the right one.

Sighing deeply, she opened the door and continued her descent into the Department of Mysteries.

As soon as she stepped into the room, the door slammed behind her. The room was void of light; she could see nothing. Her breathing became ragged and she began to panic. Bella had never responded well to being enclosed, not since she was a child and her mother had become enraged with her, locking her in a closet for days.

She could no longer bring herself to care about why she was there. Her entire body began to seize and she feared that she would go into convulsions. In that moment, nothing mattered, except getting out. All she wanted was to go home.

But she couldn’t go home because she couldn’t get out. What if no one could find her? What if she simply remained locked in here until she went insane or starved to death? Her mind became filled with horrific predictions of her future.

Rushing her hands over the walls, she searched for the doorknob. If she could find it, maybe she could get herself out, but it wasn’t there. Tears came to her eyes as she realized that she was truly trapped in this world of darkness.

A scream escaped her throat as she heard a sound to her left.

Taking deep breaths, she listened. The sound continued”scratching. In her heart, she knew it was a rat. This was just the kind of place a rat would be. Shivers went through her. She was going to die there and then she was going to be eaten by rats.

“Stop this, right now,” she muttered to herself, again. “If you don’t stop acting like a blubbering fool, you will die in here. Pull it together and find a way out.”

Ignoring the scratching and wiping away her tears, Bella forced herself to her feet. She could do this. There had to be a way out. Searching for her wand, she knew that she would find the exit. She had gotten this far; she was not going to die.

“Lumos,” she muttered, causing the small room to flood with light from the tip of her wand.

Breathing a sigh of relief, her eyes landed on a door. Somehow, she knew it wasn’t the one she entered through, but it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that she could get out. A self satisfied smile touched her lips as she reached for the doorknob.

Her muscles relaxed when the doorknob turned easily in her hand. Pushing the door open, she was certain that she would be greeted by freedom. Instead, she was greeted by more strangeness. She really should have expected nothing else from the Department of Mysteries.

For a moment, she thought she was in the court room. The layout seemed similar, except for one glaring difference”she was on the ceiling. Below her there were various benches set out and at the far end of the room was another door. She realized that her biggest problem was that the door was on the floor and she was on the ceiling. Would this idiocy never end?

Slowly, tentatively, she stepped forward, petrified that she would fall to the floor. However, she remained firmly affixed to the ceiling. Naturally, she was relieved that she didn’t fall to her death; however, she still had to find a way to reach the door. Not knowing what else to do, she continued to walk across the ceiling.

Standing directly above the door, Bella had no idea what to do next. Even if she could get off the ceiling, she would most likely be injured in the fall. This was ridiculous. Why couldn’t the Ministry have normal rooms like everyone else?

Sighing, she tried to think. Blood was rushing to her head. This wasn’t good. She needed to get back on the real floor. Obviously, she couldn’t just stay on the ceiling for the rest of her life.

Retrieving her wand, she quickly summoned a pile of pillows in front of the door. There, at least, she would have a soft landing. Now, all she had to do was get herself down.

She tried jumping off the ceiling, but found that gravity was rather warped as well because she landing back on the ceiling. This was insane. She was beginning to feel ill and her patience was quickly dwindling. She wanted this idiotic mission over.

Then an idea occurred to her. It was an odd idea and there was no guarantee it would work, but as her options were rather limited she thought it was worth a shot. Knowing, that the Accio spell brought things to people and not the other way around, she had no idea what was about to happen.

Accio, door,” she muttered.

To her surprise, she fell from the ceiling, landing on her feet with her hand on the doorknob. It had worked. Perhaps that spell had some qualities worth exploring, if she ever got out of the damn Ministry.

Sighing, she pushed the door open to enter her next obstacle. She no longer expected the doors to lead to freedom.

Pushing into the new room, she closed the door behind her. The second it was closed, it disappeared. This no longer surprised her either. Obviously, there was no going backwards in the Department of Mysteries.

Glancing around the room, she saw that all the walls were identical and there appeared to be no way out. What else is new? she thought bitterly.

She was considering simply sitting on the floor and waiting for someone to find her. She really had had enough of these trap rooms, but she quickly realized that this would not be an option. Ever so slowly, the walls began to move towards her. They were closing in on her. If she didn’t find a way out, she would be crushed.

Finite Incantatem,” she screamed, clutching her wand tightly.

Nothing happened. The walls continued to move slowly towards her. What else could she do? If these walls didn’t obey magic, how could she stop them? She didn’t want to die like this. The thought of her body jammed between the walls made her nauseous. Her family wouldn’t even be able to identify her.

Shaking her head, she forced the morbid thoughts from her mind. She couldn’t think like that. There had to be a way out. There is always a way out. She simply had to remain calm and find it. The walls were moving slowly; she had time.

Her mind raced, desperately trying to come up with a solution. If the walls would not obey basic magic what else could she try? Very few situations had arisen in her life that could not be solved with magic. Any other solutions were foreign to her, with the exceptions of manipulation and intimidation, which would also not help her here.

In frustration, she kicked the wall. At the very least, she could try to hurt it back, but she was shocked to see that it stopped moving. All four walls became still. Had she accidentally stumbled across some secret spot in the wall?

“Welcome to the Department of Mysteries, Unspeakable,” came a mechanical voice from nowhere. “Have a pleasant day.”

And with that a door appeared at the opposite side of the room. Without hesitation or consideration, Bella rushed to the door, anxious to put yet another horrible room behind her.

Upon stepping into the new room, a feeling of dread hit her. However, considering the level of success she had had entering rooms in the Department of Mysteries, she didn’t think much of it. It seemed natural for her to dread whatever might come next.

Glancing down at the ground, she discovered that she was wearing dancing shoes. How the hell had that happened? She had vowed never to wear dancing shoes again, once her mother had stopped forcing her to go to dance classes. She hated dancing. She always preferred to spend her evening at the bar as opposed to on the dance floor.

Before Bella could fully grasp her new situation, ghostly music began to play and she found herself waltzing around the room. She tried to stop, but her feet refused to obey her. Regardless of what she told her body to do, it continued to dance with the horrible music.

Just wonderful, she thought to herself, Perhaps her mother was right; she should have learned to appreciate the dance.

As she continued to spin around the room, against her will, she searched for a way out. There were various doors in the room, but she wasn’t sure how to get to them since she had no control over her own feet.

She twirled by a door and reached for the handle; however, before her hand could touch the doorknob her feet took her in another direction.

Wonderful, she thought to herself, I managed to avoid being crushed to death, so I can dance aimlessly around a room forever. My life is just swell.

Shaking her head, she allowed her feet to do whatever they wanted; they were going to anyway. She had to use her brainpower to find a way out of this particular mess. Clearly, she had to stop dancing, but first she had to figure out why she was dancing. Either it was the music or the shoes; they were the only things that were out of place.

Well, there was nothing she could do to stop the music, but maybe she could get those blasted shoes off her feet. Bending down, she grabbed hold of her foot, as it tried to waltz away from another door. The act caused her to fall hard on the floor; however, she was no longer dancing. The giant bruise would be worth it.

As she lay on the floor, her feet continued to move, attempting to dance on thin air. Yanking at the dancing shoe, she was relieved when it came off in her hand and her foot returned to normal. Breathing a sigh of relief, she pulled the other shoe off and pulled herself up from the ground.

Once her body was under her control again, she randomly chose a door and walked through it. She had come to realize that the only way out was to keep going.

Inside the next room, Bella found herself overcome with a feeling of ease. For the first time, nothing threatening happened upon her entrance. Her eyes landed on a soft armchair in the middle of the room. Walking towards it, a smile crept across her face and she found herself relaxing further.

Her feet ached from all the evening’s grueling tasks. More than anything, she wanted to sit in the chair and rest. Her mind felt clouded and sleepy. She could think of nothing that would prevent her from taking a rest. After the damn dancing shoes, she had surely earned it.

Settling into the chair, she began to feel even drowsier. The chair was soft and comfy. She allowed her head to rest against it and closed her eyes. By this time, her mission was completely forgotten. She no longer even cared about getting out. Nothing mattered. She was safe and warm. She felt that she could stay there forever.

Closing her eyes, she soon fell into a deep sleep.

Awaking abruptly, panic surged through her. Any feelings of relaxation and calm were gone. How could she have fallen asleep? She was on a mission. She wasn’t allowed to stop and take a nap.

Jumping to her feet, she ran to the door on the other side of the room. She had to get moving. Between her nap and the obstacles in each room, she was running way behind schedule.

Without bothering to look, she rushed through the door. Immediately, she was greeted with a loud splash and a cold jolt. Water. She was in water”cold, disgusting water. Briefly, she wondered how Unspeakables managed to navigate these ridiculous rooms every day. They could certainly never afford to come to work with a hangover.

Glancing around the room, she concluded that the entire floor consisted of water. It was like she had walked into an indoor lake. She attempted to touch her feet to the bottom, but couldn’t do it. At least, she knew how to swim. Continuing to survey the room, she spotted a door on the wall furthest away from her, with a key hanging out of it.

Without hesitation, she began to swim towards the key. She was nearly halfway across the room when she stopped dead. This was too easy. Every previous room had had a trick. This one would be no different. Studying the room more thoroughly, she realized that there were two more keys”one beneath the water and one hanging from the ceiling.

Without a doubt, she knew that she would need the key on the ceiling. Nothing in the Department of Mysteries had been easy for her; so obviously she would need the key that would be the hardest to get.

Accio, ceiling key,” she muttered, but nothing happened. Apparently, that spell wasn’t as wonderful as she had previously believed.

After trying a few other summoning charms, she concluded that the key was indeed stuck to the ceiling. It would not respond to magic of any kind. That was just perfect.

She tried to think of other solutions. If she had a broom, she could fly to the key. Of course, she didn’t have broom, and she decided that trying to summon one would probably be a mistake. As her mind tried to think of an answer, her body trembled. The water was far to cold for her. If she didn’t think of a way out quickly, she could freeze to death. How many times could she cheat death in one day?

Staring at the ceiling, an idea occurred to her. She might have been on the right track with the broom idea. If she couldn’t get the key to come to her, perhaps she would have to go to it.

Aguamenti,” she cried, clutching her wand.

To her delight, the water below her became a little bit deeper. She continued to cast the spell and slowly the room began to fill with water, forcing her closer and closer to the ceiling. When her hand could touch the key, she smirked with self satisfaction. She was getting good at this.

Once the key was safely in her hand, she waved her wand and all the excess water drained away, leaving her back where she started. Holding the key tightly, she swam to the door.

Sure enough, the key slid right into the hole. Unlocking the door, she pulled herself from the freezing water and moved forward to see what else would be waiting for her.

In the next room, Bella was met by a deep growling. Clearly, that was not a good sign. Her eyes widened as she spotted a large spotted cat roaming the room”a jaguar! For a moment, she was impressed and took in the sleek figure of the ferocious creature. Never before had she seen her Patronus in its natural form.

However, her momentary hypnosis with the creature’s beauty was not persistent. Jaguars were not noted for being friendly. Why would the Department of Mysteries have one wandering lose? Shrugging, she concluded that she was never going to understand why the Department of Mysteries did anything.

Suddenly, the jaguar turned its head and bared its teeth. Growling viciously, it came towards her.

Stupefy,” she howled, hitting the creature with a jet of red light.

Letting out a slight yelp, the large cat temporarily lost its balance. Bella took this opportunity to further examine the situation. She saw that each door, the one she had just entered and the one she needed to exit through, had a chain dangling from it. Currently, the cat was chained to her way out. In order to continue, she would need to get the cat chained to the other door.

The jaguar quickly recovered from her spell and lunged at her again. A scream of fear escaped her throat. She was well aware that a jaguar could easily bite through her head piercing her brain with its long fangs.

Stupefy,” she cried again, attempting to buy herself some time.

Again, the cat lost its balance, allowing her a few moments to think. She needed to chain it to the other door. That would mean releasing it from where it was currently chained. She really didn’t like that idea, considering it was likely that chain was keeping her alive. Briefly, she wished Wormtail had been sent with her so she could offer him as a sacrifice. While the cat was eating him, she could run through the door.

Finally, a thought occurred to her. It sounded crazy, but so had all of her other ideas and so far they had kept her alive. It was worth a shot. Summoning every happy memory she could muster”her wedding day, late nights laughing with her sister, dancing in a luxurious ballroom with Rodolphus”she cried, “Expecto Patronum.

A large, transparent, white jaguar shot from the end of her wand. It rushed towards the real cat and began to snarl. Within seconds the conjured jaguar and the real jaguar were in an intense battle.

No longer caring about getting the beast chained to the other door, Bella made a run for it. Neither cat acknowledged her and she ran safely through the door.

Once inside the next room, Bella gasped”the veil room. She had hoped that she would never see this room again. A shiver ran through her spine, but as she began to gain control over herself, she realized that something was wrong. The room wasn’t exactly as she remembered it. Things weren’t in the same place. They weren’t the same color. The horrible veil was on the opposite side of the room and it was much lighter than she remembered.

Venturing further into the room, she tried to figure out what had happened to it. Was it even the same room? Maybe this wasn’t the chamber her cousin died in, after all. That thought offered her a small amount of solace.

As she walked deeper into the room, mysterious shadows danced across the walls and for a moment she believed they were talking to her. Hearing shadows was not a good sign. She needed to get out of the damn Department of Mysteries.

“Bella,” a ghostly voice called.

Great, she thought, now they’re talking to me.

“Bella,” the voice repeated.

Recognition hit her and it caused her to gasp, again. Shaking her head, she tried to regain herself. There was no way it could be happening. He couldn’t be there. He couldn’t talk to her. He was dead. She had killed him herself.

“Bella, stop ignoring me,” Sirius’ voice became impatient. “I may have all the time in the world, but you don’t. Listen to me, if you want to live.”

“Why should I trust you?” she snarled. “I killed you. You’re probably trying to return the favor.”

“As much as you have deserved it, I have never tried to hurt you,” he snapped. “You didn’t mean to kill me. You didn’t realize what the veil was. I probably shouldn’t have stood in front of it. The point is: I forgive you. Now, stop being a prat and listen to me.”

Well, if the ghostly voice didn’t belong to her departed cousin, he was doing a wonderful imitation. The speech sounded exactly like something Sirius would have said to her.

“I didn’t mean it,” she admitted.

“I know,” he replied, in a much softer voice. “I also know that you regret many choices in your life. It’s never too late, Bella. I will tell you how to get through this room because you are my cousin and I love you. I will also continue to watch over you and pray that one day you will get out.”

“There’s no way out for me,” she cried shrilly. “I have three options in my life. I can be a Death Eater. I can be an Azkaban prisoner. Or I can be dead.”

“There’s always a way out, Bella,” he told her. “Just look for it.”

“Snape got out,” she muttered. “That didn’t go so well for him.”

“You’re not Snape. He didn’t have to make the choices he made. He didn’t have to kill Dumbledore. He did what he thought was the right thing. When your time comes, you will too. You have it in you, Bella. Turn to the right side.”

“Are you”Sirius Black”defending Snape?”

“You have a different perspective when you’re dead, cous,” he muttered. “That’s something I hope you don’t learn for a long time. You need to go. The room will seal itself soon; and it will not open again for a long time.”

“I’m sorry, Sirius,” she blurted out.

“I know,” he replied. “The question is: do you trust me?”

“Yes.”

“You need to go through the veil,” he told her. “It’s not the same one I went through. That veil is the only way out of this room. I am not trying to hurt you, Bella. Please, believe me.”

And she did believe him. He was her cousin and there was a time that they were close. If he wanted to kill her, he would respect her enough to be honest about it. Sirius Black was not a liar.

“I’m sorry,” she repeated. “I love you.”

With that she jumped through the veil, but not before she heard the whispered reply, “I love you, too.”

Finding herself in a new room, Bella realized that her feet were not touching the ground. She was floating. Looking down, she saw that her body remained on the floor. Briefly, she wondered if she was dead. Had Sirius lied to her, after all? Was he really trying to kill her?

No, she decided. That wasn’t her cousin’s style. If he meant her harm, he wouldn’t have tricked her. He would have attacked her, taunted her, and enjoyed every minute of it. Sirius Black did not do things halfway.

Sighing, she floated towards her body, hoping she would be able to pop back in. Unfortunately, she hit a barrier, preventing her from getting to her body. If Sirius truly wished to be helpful, he could have offered further instructions.

Bella floated back towards the ceiling. There really wasn’t anything better for her to do. Suddenly, she remembered an old Charms class. Flitwick had been droning on and she hadn’t really been listening, but she was certain that he had taught them a charm to end an out-of-body experience. However, she hadn’t taken much interest and couldn’t recall the incantation. Who would have thought that they would really need to know that one day?

Studying the walls, she searched for a clue, some indication of what she was supposed to do. The walls were strange, made of some kind of smooth stone, something she had never seen before. Sadly, there were no markings on the walls or ceiling”nothing to tell her what was expected of her.

As she glided around the room, she felt strangely satisfied. She never realized how much she missed flying. If she got out of this alive, she would have to take it up again. There had been a time when she was an excellent flyer, when she still had the freedom to pursue such things.

Flying around in circles, she felt herself relax. Her mind drifted back to her days at Hogwarts. She remembered trips to Hogsmede with Rodolphus, late night study sessions with her sisters, sneaking out of the castle with her friends, and trying new curses on an unwitting Severus Snape. A smile touched her lips as she thought of her youth. It was strange to remember herself when she still had some hope for the future.

Continuing to reminisce, Flitwick’s face popped into her mind. He was wearing that idiotic smile, which was patented by him. No one else could do it quite right. However, it was not his smile that she was interested in; it was the words coming out of his mouth.

Vuelta,” he was saying in his squeaky voice.

Immediately, she came to attention. That was the spell. That incantation would return her to her body. There was no more time for dwelling on the past. She had to trudge forward.

Vuelta,” she muttered.

Sure enough, the spell worked. Within seconds, she was standing on the ground, fully reunited with her body. Breathing a sigh of relief, she walked through the nearest door and on to whatever lied ahead.

The next room consisted of black shimmering walls. They gave off a calming air and Bella particularly liked them. At least, she wasn’t floating on the ceiling or waist deep in a lake. Serenely, she walked through the room until she came face to face with a mirror.

Instantly, she looked away. She no longer liked to see her reflection. Once she had been the perfect symbol of youth and beauty. Now she was nothing but withered and ugly. Her days of posing in front of a mirror were long over.

However, something compelled her to look back. She felt that she had no choice but to look into the mirror. Sighing deeply, she turned to stare into the hideous, wrinkled face that now belonged to her.

She gasped when she finally glanced into the mirror and saw that she not alone. Standing behind her, she saw her family. Her father stood behind her, resting his hand on her shoulder, but that was impossible. He had died when she was very young, leaving her with a mother who had never cared for her.

Before she could turn to verify his presence, more people began to appear behind her. She saw Sirius again, this time standing with his baby brother.

Slowly she turned, fearing that if she did the wrong thing they would disappear forever. She wanted to see her family. It had been so long. However, when she turned they were exactly as she saw them in the mirror.

“I see you made it through, all right,” Sirius told her, with a grin.

“You prat,” she muttered. “You could have told me what to expect.”

“That wouldn’t have been any fun,” he smirked at her fondly.

Her eyes wandered to her father. He looked exactly as she remembered”tall, strong, black haired and black eyed. He was a true Black. And he looked at her the same way as he had when she was a child”with the unconditional love of a true father.

She wanted to speak to him, but words escaped her. She simply stared at him. How was she getting this opportunity? What was allowing her to see her family whom she believed to be lost forever?

“It’s all right, Princess,” her father told her, in a soft voice, as though she were still five years old. “You’re not going crazy. We’re really here.”

“H”how?” she managed to choke out.

“Does it matter?” Regulus asked her.

She shook her head. It really didn’t matter.

“Why?” she tried again.

“Because we love you,” her father responded. “We want to help you. Sirius has already proven that. This is what you want, isn’t it? You’ve been angry since I left you. You could never forgive me or anyone else. You blamed yourself for Regulus’ death. You convinced him to follow the Dark Lord. Sirius died at the end of your wand. But now, we’re all back. It’s like none of it ever happened.”

Reaching out, she touched her father’s arm. She was surprised to find that it was solid. He was real.

“Can you leave with me?” she asked.

“No,” her father replied. “We have to stay. You can stay, too. We’ll take care of you.”

Staring into his loving eyes, she wanted nothing more than to stay. She wanted to curl up in her father’s arms and feel like a little girl, again. She wanted to play games with her little cousins. But she knew that she could not. She was no longer a child. Her father was gone. Her cousins were gone. This wasn’t real. It couldn’t be real. It wasn’t meant to be real.

“I can’t stay,” she told him, shaking her head sadly. “I have to go on with my life.”

“I wish I had been there for you,” her father said softly. “I could have helped you. I might have been able to stop you from making so many mistakes.”

“They were my mistakes,” she admitted, staring at each of her family members in turn. “I have lost a lot because of them. Now, I know what I have to do.”

“I knew you would do the right thing,” Sirius told her.

Smiling, she nodded. She would do the right thing. Hugging each of her family members, she watched as one by one, they faded into nothingness. Tears stung her eyes as she watched them go, but she knew it was the way it had to be.

As she dried her eyes, another door appeared. With a slight smile, she walked through it, feeling no fear. She knew there would be no more obstacles.

She was right. She walked from the black room into a bright sunny day. Birds were singing and children were laughing in the distance. She was free. The Department of Mysteries was behind her and she didn’t care that her mission went uncompleted. She would never complete another mission for the Dark Lord. If he found her and killed her, she would die an honorable death. There was nothing more she could ask for.
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