A Little Feminine Touch



It was sometime in May, May 17th to be exact, where we find the Marauders at their breakfast table.



James and Sirius sighed simultaneously as they helped themselves to some porridge.



“This has got to be the most boring breakfast in the history of Hogwarts,” commented James dully. Neither boy spoke as a brown barn owl landed neatly on Remus’s eggs with the Daily Prophet. Peter looked over his friend’s shoulder to read the news.



Sirius giggled as he shot a grape at the gorgeous Lily Evans a few seats down. Due to endless practice, his aim was perfect, as Lily suddenly stood up with a screech. The small fruit had gone down the front of her shirt. James brown eyes widened in horror, as Lily was known for her temper. She frantically stuck her hand down the front of her shirt to get the grape, exposing more than she intended. This cause Sirius to let out an ‘Oooo’ directed toward James, who promptly blushed crimson and slopped his pumpkin juice down noisily. However, try as she might, Lily didn’t seem to know where the berry came from (though Sirius was treated to an especially scathing look), and was calm after it was removed from her presence.



“That was a close one,” James hissed angrily into Sirius’s ear. Sirius responded with an evil cackle.



“She obviously fancies me.” Sirius hissed back. Remus choked.



“You got the look that is often exchanged between James and Sniv,” Remus said with a chuckle. “Last time I checked, Snape and James hate each other. Right James?” James nodded quickly with a look of disgust on his face. Sirius chuckled again.



“Peter on the other hand…” Peter looked annoyed.



“For the last time, Sirius, I am not gay!” Peter retorted. James smiled.



“Ah, it’s alright Peter. Whatever you do, we’re behind you fully.”



“We are?”


“Yes Sirius, that is seriously what us Marauders do. Stick with our friends,” James winked.



“You can’t be serious.”



“Of course I’m not. You’re Sirius. Sirius Black, remember?” Sirius shook his head thoughtfully.



“Course not.” This was an old joke, to which Remus and Peter rolled their eyes at. However, it caused a few cute girls nearby to shriek with laughter.



“Oh Sirius, you’re always so seriously funny.” “James, that was hilarious!” and more. Sirius merely casually flicked his dark hair out of his dark eyes that had enchanted so many girls out of their innocence. James, however, did not enjoy the cooing of the girls as much as Sirius. James ran his fingers through his messy hair and sighed.



“Is breakfast over yet?”



“We have another ten minutes, and none of us want to be caught in the halls,” Remus cautioned his friends, not taking his eyes off the paper he was reading. “Filch will have a cow.” James grumbled.



“I have an idea,” Peter said through mouthfuls of bacon. “Why don’t we see how fast you can eat this tomato?” He held up a sizable tomato, and James’s eyes lit up. He loved tomatoes, almost as much as Lily Evans.



“I bet you’ll take longer than forty seconds,” Sirius said.



“I bet I’ll finish it in under thirty,” James replied, taking the tomato.



“Oh yeah? How much?” Sirius replied with a grin.



“Ten galleons.” Remus and Peter looked up; this was a sizable amount of money for even a fifth year at Hogwarts.



“Ten galleons?” Remus gaped. “So that’s what you keep inside your head. I knew it couldn’t have been a brain.”



“Alright then,” Sirius cackled. He and James were rich, unlike Remus, and forty galleons was pocket change. “Ready…start!” James promptly shoved the tomato in his mouth.



“AAUUUGH!!” he cried, as his jaw dislocated, although it came out more of a ‘AAUMPH.’ James began to tear at the fruit and his skin in pain, though only Peter showed concern. Remus nonchalantly returned to his newspaper (not before asking Sirius for the winnings, which was granted) and Sirius has tears of laughter streaming down his face.



“Shouldn’t… shouldn’t we take him to the hospital wing?” Peter asked tentatively. Remus was not hard to persuade.



“Alright, let’s go; anything’s better than History of Magic.” Peter let out a mock gasp.



“Remus Lupin skiving out on History of Magic? The shame! The horror!” With that Peter and Remus led poor James and a hysterical Sirius to the hospital wing.

---

Madame Miller skidded to a halt in front of Remus. Madame Miller was a small woman who took a special fondness to Remus because of his frequent visits. She was the assistant to Madame Pomfrey. She had curly black hair, small glasses, and a reputation of being quite strict when it came to her patients. However, she usually sported a large smile. She looked aghast at James, who was beginning to turn blue.



“What happened?” She asked, perplexed.



“It was a grievous attack from a tomato…” Remus began dramatically.



“Oh stop it; I’ll take care of it. Sit him down over there.” Peter led James to a bed, and Madame Miller came back quickly levitating a tray of metal instruments. Picking up a huge pair of tongs (which James regarded fearfully), she began to work the tomato out of James’s mouth. Remus, Sirius, and Peter, none having a great desire to go to History of Magic, stayed to watch.



Once the tomato was free, Madame Miller threw it in a waste basket and tapped James’s jaw with her wand. Everyone winced as it popped back into place with a loud snap.



“Now,” Madame Miller began, turning to James. “Your mouth will be a bit sore, so don’t try shoving large objects into it again. Now out with you all! I’m a busy person, y’know!” The nurse shooed the Marauders out the door, but failed to do so properly as she was still smiling good-naturedly. However, once outside, the four sicth years were promptly met with a rather large mass of glop on the floor. The hallway was empty, as class had already begun. Madame Miller sighed. “Here, I’ll let you four out another way.”



Remus, James, Peter and Sirius followed curiously through the door the nurse usually came through to the main room. They followed her through a few hallways and then into a room crammed with shelves containing potions, bandages, and various questionable objects. The Marauders looked at one another; none of them had been through the ‘door’ before.



The room was very large and dusty, though it was nigh impossible to navigate through the maze of shelves and boxes. The five people filed through, weaving in and out of the shelves. Peter, who was right behind Remus, sneezed due to the dust, and his head hit a neighboring shelf really hard.



“Ouc-!” But the rest of Peter’s exclamation was unheard, as a potion on the shelf in question exploded.