My Magnificent Plan

With a loud clatter his wand rolled away and Ron stepped on it with a triumphant snigger. Pettigrew looked up at Harry with quivering cheeks, his eyes watering. Harry surged forward, raising his wand slowly as he shot through the room, aiming it at the traitor. Everyone held their breath. Would the Boy-Who-Lived finally take revenge on the man who sold his parents to Lord Voldemort? Pettigrew hid his face behind his silver hand, squealing in terror.

“Ava –“

“NOOO! Stop, Harry!� a voice like thunder rolled through the great hall, and a few chandeliers crashed on the ground. Everyone clutched their ears in horror and even the Dark Lord looked rather harassed. About a hundred fighting Death Eaters, students, teachers and order members were suddenly silent enough to hear a house-elf cough.

Harry stopped in mid run and his face fell visibly. A glum and defiant look appeared in his green eyes.

“This is my business, Professor Dumbledore,� he protested. A few people nodded.

“Yes, it’s his business, Dumbledore! Go, Harry!� Mad-Eye Moody yelled from somewhere in the second row.

“We want to see blood!� someone cheered.

“Kill the rat!� Neville Longbottom shook Bellatrix Lestrange’s neck for emphasis. The madwoman moaned with masochistic pleasure.

“P-please, H-Harry, won’t we listen to Professor Dumbledore first?� Peter asked timidly.

“If we must.�

Dumbledore smiled benignly, coming over to Harry, putting his hand on his protege’s shoulder. Everyone listened raptly.

“This may be a bit confusing, but there’s something I have to explain to you. You cannot kill this man, ugly and pathetic though he is.�

“Oh, well? Let’s see if I can!�

“No, no, no. Listen to me first, Harry. There’s something I kept from you all these years, something only I knew – and Peter here.� Peter nodded eagerly. Harry raised a brow.

“I was in love with your aunt Petunia! Dudley Dursley is our love-child!� Peter confessed. Harry went a little green. Somewhere in the Great Hall, a Death Eater started to giggle. Dumbledore frowned.

“Not that. The other thing.�

“Oh,� Peter said dejectedly. “That.�

“Yes, that. Will you, Peter, or should I ..?�

“Oh, you can tell him.�

“Get it on! We want to be home for dinner!� the halfblood Prince called across the hall.

“Harry,� Dumbledore said gravely once more, “Peter is too valuable to us to kill him. He has a wizard's debt to you because you saved his life the night you met Sirius.�

“So what? I don’t need his stupid debt! He can pay it by dying!� Harry raised his hand again. Peter’s yes widened.

“No! Please! I’m innocent! I was a spy! It was all just a plan!�

“Spy? Plan?� Harry frowned. “I thought ... I thought Snape was the spy?� Dumbledore grinned sheepishly.

“Severus spies at Durmstrang , to get me the newest teaching secrets of Igor Karkaroff’s wonderful staff! And Hagrid is a spy at Beauxbatons.�

“What?� Karkaroff and Madame Maxime gasped in unison. “You fraud!�

“Yes, but Peter here is our true spy at the Death Eaters. Four years ago, we deliberately stages his escape so he would return to Lord Voldemort and be his biggest weakness.�

“Ha!� Voldemort huffed. “I figured that one out long before!� From behind him, where the kidnapped Hermione and Ginny were held captive in a cage together with Voldemort’s pet serpent Nagini, who was in fact the very Boa constrictor Harry had freed from the zoo, Hermione piped up.

“But I knew it even before you! I figured it out when -� But her voice was cut off by Dumbledore.

“But even long before that, Peter was working for me.�

“He was a spy at the burrow! You wanted Mom’s secret receipts!� Ron said ingeniously. He walked over to Harry, glaring at their headmaster. The wizened wizard blushed.

“Uh ... Minerva made me do it?�

“Hey, hey stop.� Harry scratched his forehead. “But he sold my parent’s to Voldemort, didn’t he? Why did you employ a murderer?�

“It’s obvious, Harry! He is an evil fraud who stole my mom’s receipts! He would consort with murderers any time!�

“But I didn’t murder your parents,� Peter pointed out timidly.

“Voldemort did and you helped him. And you framed Sirius.� Suddenly, their heard someone else clear his throat and Remus Lupin came over to them.

“Harry, there is something I’ve got to tell you. Your parent’s weren’t killed by Voldemort.� Harry’s eyes became small slits as he watched his fatherly mentor.

“You too, Professor Lupin?�

“I’m your father, Harry.� Everyone gasped and a few people ‘awwed’.

“I’m your father in disguise. I used a polyjuice potion.�

“But I saw you turn into a werewolf! And I saw my parents come out of Voldemort’s wand!�

“But weren’t they in the wrong order? Did you ever consider that?� Voldemort asked slyly from across the hall. “It was all a trick!�

Harry scrunched up his face in confusion. His eyes darted back and forth between the faces of the four men. Dumbledore smiled benignly, Remus very brightly, Peter hopefully and Voldemort’s thin smile was an extremely mean and pleased one.

“And ... why would you do that?� Harry brought forth with difficulty. “Why would you let me escape on purpose?�

“Well. I’m not stupid, am I? Why would I try to kill you and then spent a year trying to find out if I even should kill you?�

“That’s right, actually,� Ron mused.

“Oh, well, are you on his side, too, now?� Harry snapped. Ron blanched and quickly hid his right arm. Harry’s mouth fell open, but he was kept from discovering the final deceit by Dumbledore and Lupin.

“So, Harry, aren’t you happy to meet me? I’m your Dad!�

“I met you before. Why didn’t you tell me?�

“It would have destroyed my magnificent plan,� Dumbledore explained. “James and Remus swapped places before Voldemort attacked your parents.�

“So this is James in disguise?� someone asked for clarification.

“No, this is Remus Lupin. The man who married your mother, Lily.�

“But I saw photos! My mother married James!�

“They were faked,� Remus said off-handedly. “It’s not difficult, you know?�

“Really, Potter, how thick can a person be? One would think you really are that blockhead James’s son,� Snape sighed from where he stood, duelling Lucius Malfoy. “Didn’t you see James and Lily in my memory? They hated each other. Your mother married Remus Lupin, a perfectly nice guy with only a small health problem.�

“But ... but ... but ...�. Harry stammered. “But why do you hate me, then?� Snape shrugged.

“I’m free to hate whoever I want.�

“Wotcha,� Nymphadora Tonks said.

“So Harry is Lupin’s son, but the man who died in Godric’s Hollow was James Potter? Who changed places with Lupin?� asked someone.

“Exactly. James was an arrogant idiot anyway.�

“Hey!� The halfblood Prince called out in indignation. “Don’t talk about him like that! He was cool, he had the right to be arrogant.�

“You knew my father?� The halfblood Prince grinned wryly and limped over to Harry, ruffling his hair.

“Harry, Harry. Do you still not get it? I’m Sirius, back from behind the veil with new and amazing halfblood powers! It was all in the magnificent plan!�

“Sirius?� Harry’s lower lip quivered. “Is that really true? You’re ...?� The lion man nodded and suddenly tore his mask off. And really : behind it the grinning, once handsome now rather sweaty face of Harry’s godfather appeared. Harry sobbed and threw himself at Sirius. It was a truly heart-wrenching reunion, only Remus Lupin looked a little piqued.

“And what about me? I’m your father! He’s only your godfather, and a damn lousy one, too. He spent thirteen years at Azkaban and didn’t send you a present once! What are godfathers for, other than giving you extra presents?� he ranted.

“Well, he was in Azkaban. Where should he have got a present from?� Ron asked. “And he made up for it later. He gave Harry his firebolt.�

“My firebolt,� Harry sighed. Remus stomped a foot on the ground.

“Quit that nonsense! Who told you all that stuff about Azkaban being a nasty prison? It’s a wizard holiday place in the Caribbean, that’s what it is! He spent all his stupid pureblood money down there while we lived in misery and wore tattered clothing!�

“Ripped trousers are really in, you know? And I mourned the loss of my beloved friend, James. I had the right to take a few years off.�

“Beloved friend, indeed,� Snape curled his lips in disdain.

“Huh?� Harry made weakly.

“They were gay as dogs!� Snape spat, suddenly furious. “James Potter and Sirius Black – the favourite couple of our year!� Harry had to keep his yes from popping out of their sockets and quickly redrew from Sirius arms.

“That’s a lie, isn’t it?�

“Why should it be?� Sirius asked with a frown. “I loved James. So what? I’m proud of it!� Snape fumed.

“And me? No one ever asks about me! I was in love with the stupid bastard, too, but he only humiliated me! I promised to give him my everything, to undress for him ... but not in front of the whole school!�

Now, not only Harry went green in the face.

“That’s all very well,� Lord Voldemort injected. “I’m also for free love and no borders, but aren’t we getting off the topic?�

“There was a topic, my master?� Lucius inquired and stopped braiding his long hair for a minute. “I didn’t think there was.�

“Oh, but there was. Our magnificent plan!� Voldemort triumphed. “Go on with it, Albus, tell them! Tell them all how truly magnificent we are!�

“I’ll love to do so, Tom,� Dumbledore replied with a generous smile.

“Wait,� Harry said. His head was aching worse than ever. “Did he just say ‘our’ plan? What’s this?�

“Well, obviously it was our plan, Harry. We’re both geniuses, but it took two of us to devise this truly magnificent plan.�

“Um ... okay ...?�

“Well, some twenty years ago, Tom and I were rather bored. There was really nothing to do for such superb wizards as he and I. So, over a couple of bottles of firewhiskey, we decided that it was time to get a little action back into our lives. And so we came up with this extraordinary plan of ours!�

“So you were a danger after all!� Fudge screeched from where he was hanging on chains from the ceiling. Filch cracked his whip. “This was all a plan to overthrow the ministry!�

“No, actually not,� Dumbledore admitted. “No one in their right mind would want your position, Cornelius. So, where was I? Ah, yes. I went to see this obnoxious hippie person, Sybil Trelawney and fed her some of my brother Aberforth’s weeds. And soon she was prophesying quite nicely. The prophecy, (which was complete nonsense and not at all what I have told you, Harry,) was put into the Department of Mysteries. Then James Potter swapped places with Lupin and Voldemort came to kill them.�

“That was fun,� Voldemort remembered with a happy grin.

“Right. And he put that evil curse on Lily and you got his powers and all was nice. We put you with Petunia and Peter’s son Dudley, where you grew up. Sirius went to Azkaban to have a nice holiday and Remus here thought he still had to hide from Voldemort. All was wonderful for a while – well we all know what happened, then.� Harry shook his head. He knew nothing and this all made no sense. Was Dumbledore really that cold and evil?

“But – but people were killed because of your stupid plan!� Dumbledore looked taken aback.

“People? Which people?�

“My mother!�

“No, no, your mother wasn’t killed, the curse Tom put on her wasn’t a killing curse at all. It was a de-bodifying curse which took away her body. That was what happened to Tom , after all. His body vanished.�

“And where is she now?� Harry asked distrustfully.

“Hello! Harry! Darling! I’m here, right here, over at the window!� A female voice was heard. “I was always with you! I was the one who got your Marauders Map back whenever you lost it and your Firebolt!� Harry gaped at everyone.

“B-but.�

Hermione tried to help her confused friend in his case against Dumbledore. “But James Potter died!� she yelled. Sirius, though, shook his shaggy head.

“Not at all, Hermione. James was always with me.� He put his fingers to his mouth and whistled, and a huge silver hippogriff came swooping through the hall and landed next to him with clunking hooves. Sirius lovingly petted Buckbeak’s beak. The beast purred. “Weren’t you, Beaky?�

“But Cedric! I saw Cedric die myself!�

“Oh, that was a simple trick,� Voldemort said with a shrug. “I used a time-turner and replaced the boy with a fake corpse.�

“I’m fine, Harry!� Cedric came running from the entrance, hand in hand with Fleur Delacour. Their blonde hair was fluttering beautifully in the wind. Somewhere in the distance, Cho Chang made a choking sound. “I was in on the plan! Tom explained me everything!�

“’E’s living with me, ‘arry,� Fleur smiled and kissed her boyfriend passionately.

“See?� Dumbledore asked. “Everybody’s fine and happy. It was all a magnificent plan.�

But it was too late for Harry to hear the word ‘plan’ once more. He had dropped to the ground, his face pale and his glasses at an awkward angle. Draco Malfoy blanched and came running to them, an anxious look on his face. but Ron stopped him from getting at the Boy-Who-once-lived.

“Oh,� Dumbledore sighed and stepped over Harry to Lord Voldemort.

“It’s seems the plan was a little too magnificent for Potter, after all,� Voldemort mused.

“How lucky that he isn’t really Harry Potter ,� Dumbledore agreed. “Actually, he is ...�

And somewhere, in a darkened room in Surrey, a boy woke with a little yelp, one more scar on his soul.