Sirius wasn’t meant to save the world.

They had all said it would be Regulus, Regulus who was supposed to go up in flames, (for the greater good, Sirius) and bravely he thinks, for a braver new world. It hadn’t happened.

After all,
Little Kings were meant to rise and fall.

He is going to break.

James shakes his head sadly and says he understands, but he doesn’t. It isn’t worth it. None of it is worth it.

Remus looks drawn and pale and says he understands, and it may even be true, or half-true at any rate; Remus knows what it is like to lose the world.

Peter says he doesn’t understand, a frantic whisper and a hurried apology as he scurries past Sirius, refusing to look into his eyes (he had always thought that Sirius was slightly mad, but he wasn’t quite sure.), and he tries to sink back into the old familiarity of meaningless laughter and inevitable greyness.

You never knew,
That what they whispered was true.

He didn’t know. None of them knew.

If he had been told, perhaps, that Regulus would run off and get himself killed, he might have said something. He might have saved the world…

But that was Regulus, that would never be him.

It’s a falling star
And he used to shine.

It’s natural, he thinks, that the younger brother go first.

Everything is pre-written, there is a broken prophecy and a shattered heart hanging above him- he is supposed to be at the centre of it all, but he was supposed to be a lot of other things as well- and maybe the world is going to end, who is he to fight destiny?

The wind is bitter and the air is salty, and if this is immortality then he doesn’t want it.

He tore apart his love and hate,
But the Little King still met his fate.

The explosion he thinks, because that was when it all started.

He sees the fire in the sky, rippling across overhead like sunshine and for one second it is day, radiant and filled with glorious brightness. And a tiny part of him is screaming that is your brother and in that one moment he is Sirius again, and it doesn’t matter if no one understands but it matters that he did.

Then the darkness sets in and he loses himself again.

You always knew-
Someone flies
Someone dies.

Maybe tomorrow he’ll sit with his head pressed against the window-sill and maybe tomorrow he’ll walk in the ice-cold rain without looking up once, all he knows is that tomorrow will be another place and another time, and just another day of smiling and waving at cameras and maybe if he meant it it wouldn’t be quite so bad, but he doesn’t mean it and he doesn’t quite know how to go on.

There are pieces, and there was a soul, but he is still torn and tattered.

You, raconteur, you,
Who will spin your tales now?

“I thought you would be coming.”

He spins around to look at her and wonders how she could possibly know that and he wonders how long she has been planning this moment because he knows Bellatrix and he knows the world and he knows that together they are an impossible mixture.

Now, she stands with a smirk on her face and a smile on her lips and that, he thinks, is the bloody problem with all Blacks. They laugh far too long.

“What do you want?” he asks shortly, in no mood for subtlety or tact or indeed Bella for that matter.

For a moment she looks as if she has been slapped in the face but then she regains her usual composure and smiles bitterly because no matter how much she tries to deny it Sirius is still a Black. “Regulus was meant to go, there was no other way.”

Sirius knows it, but hearing it put in words doesn’t make him feel any better.

“So?”

She looks at him for a moment and then walks away.


“All by yourself?”

Sirius nods slightly and can’t help but feel a bit guilty that he doesn’t want Remus any more than he wants Bellatrix at the moment but when Remus throws himself on the ground next to him Sirius sighs and he almost knows what is coming next.

“Regulus was meant to go.”

“I’ve heard that.”

They are sitting by the lake and it is long past curfew but that stopped bothering them in third year. Remus sighs and shifts slightly next to him and that is perhaps the only movement in the stillness of the night.

Sirius sighs too.

________________________________________________________________________


Maybe shattered hearts really can heal, and maybe a broken world can become whole again, but he thinks that if there is one thing that he has learnt it is to never trust a shooting star.

Because they are meant to fall.

***
You always knew,
that the worst would eventually come true.


He walks into the forest hanging his head and he knows that this isn’t really the way it is supposed to end and certainly not the way the ‘next adventure’ is supposed to begin, but he still goes on with all the courage of a man walking towards the end of the earth or possibly the end of himself.

Sirius has never believed in ghosts, had never believed in them but in that instant he realises that when Bella said “Regulus was meant to go” what she really meant was “You’ll be next”.

His world is still just endless gray,
He ran far but was never quite away.

A flash of green light and it is all over, perhaps there is a more fitting way for a young hero to die other than betrayed and wandless but if there was, then Sirius cannot do it. Somewhere inside the little boy lurks who is still afraid of death and somewhere inside Sirius trembles slightly but on the outside he just brushes the bangs off his face and falls down, his last laugh fading into the air and the laughter dying in his steely gray eyes.

The war has ended- not with a bang perhaps, more of a whimper.


Heaven, Sirius says softly to himself, is a rather strange place.

He sits and surveys the emerald-green valley before him. The air is fresh and cold and little streams snake over the surface the surface of the valley like ribbons of silver, catching the moonlight and reflecting it back sharply on Sirius’ angular profile, such that half his face is cast in the darkest shadow and half his face is aglow with the moon’s brilliant shine. I, Sirius Black, am appreciating green and silver. How appropriate. How bloody appropriate.

“I thought I would be finding you here.”

Sirius whirls around at the sound of the all-too familiar voice and then slowly smiles and pushes the bangs out of his face. “ Likewise.”

Regulus sits down next to Sirius and tightly hugs his knees towards himself trying not shiver at the coldness of the wind. Sirius, Regulus observes, doesn’t notice. “The stars are brighter today, aren’t they?”

Sirius nods numbly without looking at the sky. “Sirius, Regulus and Bellatrix. It is only fitting.”

“A lot of thing seem to be too appropriate lately.” Regulus mutters under his breath, thinking that Sirius can’t hear him but Sirius does and he only nods his head in inclination.

“Is mum up here?” Sirius asks Regulus, desperately hoping that Regulus will not notice that ever-so slight tremor in his voice but Regulus notices and carefully averts his eyes.

“No she isn’t. She chose to stay back.”

Sirius suppresses a bitter smile. “ I wonder which poor house she haunts now. God knows she did enough of that while she was living.”

Regulus laughs shakily. He marvels at how little death has changed his brother, he is still the same handsome, arrogant Sirius and Regulus is more than a bit jealous because when he looks at himself he knows that he will never be the same again.

Brothers till one betrayed the other,
Inevitable it is though that that should happen, as sure as the sun setting in the west and the moon rising when darkness falls,
But death didn’t do them apart,
It brought them together.

“You know Sirius, you aren’t as capable of deceit as you think.”

“Oh?”

“You try to pretend you don’t care but I can see it in your eyes, you do.” says Regulus. Sirius raises one eyebrow at him and Regulus should have taken this is as a warning sign but he doesn’t, and he foolishly plunders on. “ Family, blood ties, heritage, me, do they all hold no meaning whatsoever for you?”

Sirius face hardens. “It is not for you to talk of what you know nothing, absolutely nothing, about.”

Regulus replies softly in a tone that could be mistaken for fear, but Sirius knows better- it isn’t fear, it is determination. “ I do know something about it. We walk the same road, Sirius. We just chose different paths.”

Sirius looks thoughtfully into Regulus eyes which are shining in the moonlight with pride and recklessness and perhaps just a hint of hero-worship, and in that one moment Sirius thinks that Regulus understands him completely, and in that one moment they are united and the world and a thousand centuries of tradition are carelessly tossed aside like broken playthings. In that one moment, they are family.

Or the same tragedy with different themes.

Regulus smiles slightly and goes back to surveying the valley and the moment is broken, but Sirius smiles too for he has more in common with his brother after death than he ever did when they were alive.

And there they sit, two men with their shoulders slightly hunched but not with an air of defeat, but the air of men who have conquered defeat and whose tongues have felt the bittersweet taste of victory and redemption. There they sit, two men trapped for eternity in the sands of time.