Aching

Hermione Granger walked through the streets of Diagon Alley at a leisurely pace taking in everything around her. She quickened her pace when she spotted one of her best friends up ahead. He didn’t realize she was there until she was almost upon him.

“Hey Harry!� she greeted when she reached him.

Harry Potter, Hermione’s friend, mentor, and confidante smiled as soon as he spotted her.

“Hey ‘Mione. What are you doing here? Wouldn’t the Ministry of Magic collapse without you?� he joked.

“Even public servants deserve a day off, Harry. And I’m here because I just needed some quiet time on my own. After that fiasco last week, I’m taking all the personal leave I can get,� she responded, referring to the crisis from a week before.

Hermione worked in the Department of Magical Misuse. A few days ago, a witch had helped a Muggle friend of hers gain a promotion at her workplace by charming her bosses. It had taken the Ministry over a week to de-charm all the bosses and find and modify the memories of everyone involved. Needless to say the Ministry was not pleased with the witch in question and had subjected her to 40 hours of community service as punishment. This might not have seemed too bad, except that she had been forced to do all her service the Muggle way.

Hermione smiled as she recalled the look on the woman’s face when she had passed her in the hallway a few hours earlier. The woman had been extremely red faced as she mopped the floors. Normally Hermione would have been sympathetic, but she was not happy about all the extra hours she had had to put in because of the woman.

“Hermione! Earth to Hermione! Hello! You there?� Harry asked as he waved a hand in front of Hermione in an attempt to gain her attention.

Hermione snapped back to notice. “Sorry Harry, Just thinking about something else. Anyways what are you doing here?�

Harry blushed. Hermione was intrigued. What had made him blush?

“Well you see…�

“Yes?�

“It’s…um…well…um…�

“Harry come on. It’s me you’re talking to.�

“It’smineandGinny’sthirdanniversaryandIwasgoingtosurpriseherwitharomanticdinner,� Harry said all in one breath.

Hermione stared at him. “I have absolutely no idea what you just said. Are you all right?�

“I’m fine,� Harry responded. He took a deep breath and tried to explain once again. “It’s mine and Ginny’s third anniversary tonight. I was just going to surprise her with a romantic dinner, that’s all,� he said, his blush darker than ever.

“Oh Harry, that is so sweet. Congratulations!�

“Thanks ‘Mione. Is there anything you need help with?� Harry asked always the gentlemen.

“No, it’s all right. I’ll be okay on my own. Thanks anyway. You go ahead.�

Harry looked at Hermione gratefully. As sincere as the offer for help was, he couldn’t afford to waste any more time. “I’ll see you later.�

“Bye. Have a good anniversary. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,� Hermione said laughingly as she turned around and left an embarrassed Harry behind.

Hermione was still smiling to herself a few minutes later as she left Diagon Alley and turned into a nearby park and made her way to a bench. It was dark outside now. The moon was full and the stars winked back at her from every direction imaginable.

Hermione sighed to herself as she watched a family of four walk by. The mother was holding a baby no more that six months old and singing to her softly to put her to sleep. The father had his six year old son on his shoulder and both were enthusiastically discussing Quidditch with periodic shh’s from the mother when they got too loud.

Hermione gazed at them enviously. What she wouldn’t give for a family of her own. She was already 24 years old and she had never been in love, let alone considered starting a family with anyone. As happy as she was for Harry and Ginny for having found each other, a small part of her was also jealous that they had found their soul mates and she hadn’t. Hermione knew it was petty but she just couldn’t seem to help herself. There were times when she was so lonely that she thought she would die. She often wondered how it was possible to feel so lonely when there were about six billion other people on the planet.

“I guess I’m just not destined to find that special someone,� Hermione said to herself quietly.

“Talking to ourselves are we Granger?� asked a voice from directly behind Hermione.

She abruptly turned around, almost pulling a muscle in the process. When she had turned around fully, she found herself staring into the steel gray eyes of none other than Draco Malfoy.

“What do you want Malfoy?�

“Can’t a man walk through a park at his will?� he asked.

Hermione stared at him. As much as she hated to admit it, the years had been good to him. Years of Quidditch had honed his muscles to perfection. His blond hair fell over his eyes in a way that made Hermione want to brush it back into place.

What is the matter with me? Hermione thought as her mind caught up with her heart.

“I know I look good, Granger, but I’d appreciate it if you could stop staring at me.� Malfoy stated with his trademark smirk in place.

Hermione blushed as she realized that she was staring. She quickly stood up and once again faced him. “I wasn’t staring,� she lied. “I was just wondering how you can still look like a ferret after so long.�

Draco’s face lost its smirk as a frown took its place. How dare she insult him, a Malfoy and a pureblood? She wasn’t fit to clean the dirt off his shoes, let alone insult him.

“And I was just wondering how you can still look like a buck tooth little weasel after so long,� Draco responded, his smile at the comeback anything but sincere. She looked nothing like a weasel to him. In fact she looked drop dead gorgeous in a sky blue sundress with her wavy chestnut hair cascading softly down her back all the way to her waist and her golden brown eyes sparking at the insult. Obviously the years had been good to her as well

Hermione was the one who frowned now. She wondered how he had always been able to pinpoint her vulnerabilities and attack them. His insults had always been short and well directed. Every one of them had always found its mark. She had never told anyone, but she had spent many a night crying, usually due to a well-placed insult from Malfoy. Although she wasn’t that insecure teenager anymore, she wasn’t completely invulnerable either.

“What, no come back?� taunted Draco.

Hermione was in no mood fit to trade barbs with Malfoy, so she hit where she knew it would be quick and painful. His pride. “Why don’t you crawl back into the sewer you came out of?� she asked sweetly.

“I’m not the one who came out of the sewer Mudblood. You are. So maybe you should go back. No one would notice.�

Hermione frowned even more. “You’re wrong Malfoy. At least I have friends who would care and look for me were I missing. That’s way more that you can say.�

Draco winced inwardly at the truth of her words. It was all true. No one would care if he was missing. He didn’t have anyone he could count on for absolute loyalty. Sure he had “friends,� but they’d watch their own back before they would watch his. Draco tried not to let Hermione see how close her words had hit to the truth.

“My my, aren’t we crabby today? What’s the matter? Not getting what you need?� Draco asked, his smirk back in place.

Hermione blushed. There was no mistaking what he meant. “I get more than you could ever give Malfoy. Now sod off!�

Draco frowned again. “That’s what you think. I bet I’m way better than anything you’ve had before.�

“I sincerely doubt it.� And with that comment Hermione started to walk away. Unfortunately she had barely taken two steps before Malfoy grabbed her hand.

Draco didn’t think. He just acted on instinct. She had insulted him. She deserved to be punished.

“Let go of me Malfoy!� yelled Hermione.

Draco started walking forward as if he didn’t even hear her. He stopped until they were almost nose to nose. Hermione tried to back off, but she couldn’t because her arm was still held captive in between them.

“I’ll bet you twenty galleons that I’m better,� he whispered, his warm breath on Hermione’s face making her tingle. Hermione tried to answer but it was as if she had lost her voice. No sound would come out, no matter how hard she tried. She tried not to think about how Malfoy had the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen. If his eyes had been cold, she would have resisted. Regrettable fate didn’t want to cooperate. His eyes were warm and full of the passion that she could see was simmering just beneath his cold exterior. Again Hermione tried to speak, but nothing came out.

Draco had forgotten that he had wanted to teach Hermione a lesson. The only thought in his head was how breath-taking her eyes were. Her eyes had widened and darkened with desire. He leaned in, inch by agonizing inch.

Both of them were breathing hard now. As Draco leaned in even closer, it became impossible to tell whose breath started and ended where.

Finally there was only one inch left in between them. Just when Hermione thought that she couldn’t take anymore, Draco’s mouth touched hers. Her eyes drifted shut. Whatever she had expected, it had not been this. She thought that he would be aggressive and take without asking, but instead he was incredibly gentle and patient almost as if asking for permission to continue.

Hermione knew that this was wrong for thousands of reasons, but for the life of her she couldn’t think of a single one. She parted her lips and gave him access inside.

Draco never dreamed that kissing Hermione Granger would be like this. She was everything that he thought he could never have. When she granted him access inside, he almost groaned aloud. She tasted amazingly sweet. Draco couldn’t take it anymore. He crushed Hermione to himself, letting go of her hand in the process. Hermione took her now free hand and passed her hair through Draco’s hair.

The rest of the world disappeared. It was as if they were the only two people left in the universe. It had started to rain, but neither of them noticed. They were too absorbed into each other.

Suddenly, they heard a small child yell as she was chased by her brother. Draco and Hermione broke apart. They were both panting and staring at each other. They immediately realized what they were doing stepped away from each other. Both were blushing and still breathing hard.

Grey eyes stared at golden brown eyes, neither willing to look away first. Finally Draco realized that he couldn’t take anymore. He frowned at Hermione as if it was all her fault that he was so confused. He knew that if he looked at her anymore he’d be snogging her senseless. So, he did the only thing he could. He turned around and walked away. Neither noticed that the bet hadn’t been mentioned again.

Hermione stared at Draco’s back as her brain processed what she had just done. She had kissed Draco Malfoy, her worst enemy. What was worse was that she had actually enjoyed it.

Hermione kept standing in the pouring rain until she couldn’t see Draco anymore. She continued standing there even after he disappeared. Her clothes were completely soaked through by now.

Eventually she realized what she was doing. She was getting herself sick over Draco Malfoy. Hermione slowly turned around and walked back home.

****************************************************

FIVE MONTHS LATER

“What do you want Dra-Malfoy?� Hermione asked furiously.

“You.� He answered simply.

“Wh…Wha…What?�

“I want you Hermione. I can’t stop thinking about you. Ever since that kiss, I haven’t been with anyone. I didn’t think it was possible, but I miss you.� He said softly.

Hermione stared at Draco Malfoy, her golden brown eyes trying to discern if he was indeed telling the truth. He certainly looked sincere. Should she believe him? He had said that he hadn’t been with another woman since her. That meant something right?

Hermione was torn. Her heart wanted to believe Draco. Her mind, on the other hand, was another matter. Her mind reasoned that he could be lying. As much as Hermione wanted to believe him, she didn’t want to be one of Draco Malfoy’s “women.� She had more pride than that.

“I need you ‘Mione.�

And just like that, Hermione’s defenses crumbled. How could she refuse him now? She smiled a small smile and walked towards Draco, watching the hope flare to life in his eyes. She stopped about two feet away from him.

“I need you too Draco,� she whispered.

She barely saw his smile before he crushed her to himself and devoured her lips. There was no waiting this time. He simply took. She felt herself drowning faster and faster…

************************************************************************

Hermione woke up with a start.

“It was just a dream. It was just a dream,� she told herself in an attempt to calm her frantically beating heart. She turned her head and saw that it was 5:17 in the morning. Hermione knew that she wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep. She got up off her bed and made her way to the bathroom. She turned on the tap and splashed some water on her face.

“Why can’t I stop thinking about him?� she asked herself as she tried to forget her dream. Unfortunately no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t seem to get Draco’s face out of her mind.

“Wait a minute! When did I start thinking about him as Draco? He’s Malfoy. That’s it,� she tried to tell her still racing heart.

Hermione left the bathroom and went to her closet to get dressed for the day. She opened the closet door and the first thing she saw was the sky blue sundress that she had worn that rainy day. Hermione tried to unsuccessfully block the memories that the dress evoked. She quickly picked out a black business suit and shut the closet door. It didn’t matter what she wore. Her robes would cover everything anyway.

Hermione quickly changed and went to get some breakfast. She ate quietly and left her house to start her day. She decided to walk today instead of using the portkey like she usually did. She needed some time on her own to think things through.

“Why does he have such a huge impact on me? I hate him, but I can’t seem to stop thinking about him. What has he done to me?�

Hermione pondered these questions until she reached the Department of Magical Misuse.

It was time to start another day. Hermione quickly forgot all of her problems as she became absorbed in her work for the day. Before she knew it, half the day had gone by.

“Hey Hermione. You want to get some lunch?� Harry asked quietly from Hermione’s doorway.

Hermione looked up. “Harry! I didn’t know you were here! I’d love to get some lunch. Just give me a few minutes to clean up,� she said with false cheer. It was getting harder and harder not to let Harry see her inner turmoil. It killed Hermione that she couldn’t ask Harry for advice. She knew that if she brought it up, the conversation would only end in disaster. Hermione knew that Harry had grown up a lot in the last few years, but his prejudice against Draco Malfoy had stayed the same.

“Alright. By the way, Ginny will be joining us okay.� Harry said.

“That’s great!� responded Hermione as she made her way around her desk and to the door. “Let’s go.�

Harry followed Hermione out of the building. Harry knew that Hermione was deeply distressed. At first he had been hurt when Hermione hadn’t come to him for help, but with a little time he had realized that she was allowed to keep a few things private if she wished.

Harry had decided to leave her alone in the hopes that she would resolve her problem on her own. But as time went on it became clear that Hermione was only getting sadder and sadder. She couldn’t hide that from Harry. Therefore Harry and Ginny had decided that they would confront her today. They knew that had Ron been here he would have agreed Unfortunately, Ron was away playing Quidditch in Scotland, so he couldn’t help.

“So where are we going?� Hermione asked breaking through Harry’s thoughts.

“The Leaky Cauldron,� Harry answered.

“I should have known. You’re really attached to that place aren’t you Harry?� she asked laughingly.

Harry smiled. It was nice to see Hermione smiling genuinely for once. “Absolutely. So if you try to bad mouth it, I’ll be forced to severely hurt you,� he joked.

Hermione laughed. It felt incredibly nice to laugh. She felt as if she hadn’t laughed for years. Pretty soon, they were at the Leaky Cauldron. As soon as they stepped in, Harry spotted Ginny and started to hurry towards her. Hermione smiled sadly and followed at a more sedate pace.

Harry and Ginny hugged and shared a brief kiss. Ginny turned away from Harry and looked towards Hermione.

“Hermione!� Ginny squealed as she hugged her best friend. Hermione hugged back with just as much enthusiasm.

Harry watched the scene with amusement. “Could we get something to eat now?� he asked when neither woman showed any signs of letting go anytime soon.

Hermione and Ginny separated sheepishly. They all sat down and ordered some food. As they waited for the food to arrive, Harry described his latest capture of a Death Eater to both the girls. Hermione looked very interested. Ginny, on the other hand, looked faint when she heard about the danger that Harry had been through. Harry saw Ginny’s face and finished off his story fast.

Hermione smiled when she saw this.

“Will I ever find someone who is this considerate of me?� she asked herself sadly. Immediately, a picture of Draco Malfoy surfaced in her head.

“No! I have to stop thinking about him!� Hermione yelled to herself.

The food had arrived by now. Harry and Ginny looked at each other. It was now or never.

“Hermione how are you doing?� Ginny asked hesitantly.

Hermione looked at her in surprise. “I’m fine Ginny,� she answered quickly.

“No, I mean how are you really doing? Is everything alright?�

“Everything’s great. I don’t know what you’re talking about,� said Hermione as she helped herself to some chicken.

Harry and Ginny ignored the food in front of them. “Hermione, we know something is bothering you. You can tell us. We want to help,� Harry said, his green eyes cutting straight through Hermione’s golden – brown ones.

Hermione tried to quell the panic in her chest. They knew something was wrong. Even though she knew it was probably pointless, Hermione tried to play dumb. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m perfectly fine.� Hermione forced a smile onto her face.

Harry and Ginny could see that the smile was obviously fake. They kept staring at Hermione. No one spoke. Finally Ginny broke the silence after a few tense minutes.

“Hermione we know you’re not your usual self. We care about you ‘Mione. We want to help,� she said sincerely.

Hermione looked at both of them. As much as she needed advice, she knew they were the wrong people. “I know you care and I’m really grateful for it. I really am. And you’re right. There is something that’s bothering me, but it’s something that I need to deal with on my own. Please understand that this is just one of those things that I need to sort out alone,� she explained desperately willing them to believe her and leave things alone.

Harry saw the desperation in Hermione’s eyes. He glanced at Ginny and noticed that she saw it too. By unspoken agreement they decided to let matters drop. For now.

Harry faced Hermione. “Okay Hermione. You want to fight this battle on your own. We can respect that. But you know that you can always come to us for help right?�

Hermione released the breath that she didn’t know she had been holding until that moment. They understood. “I know. Thanks for understanding. It means a lot me that you’re not pushing.�

The three friends smiled at each other and just like that all the tension vanished. Hermione looked at her wristwatch and realized that it was 1:50 p.m. It was time to go back to work.

“Thanks for a wonderful lunch guys,� she said as she got up from the table and dropped some money on the table.

“Bye ‘Mione,� Ginny replied. Harry nodded. They both watched as Hermione went to the door and walked out. Harry looked at Ginny.

“We did the right thing by not pushing didn’t we?� he asked softly.

“I hope so,� Ginny answered just as softly.

There was only one thought running through both their minds. ‘I hope she’s going to be okay.�

************************************************************************

Hermione entered the Department of Magical Misuse. She had barely taken two steps before she was intercepted by William Kenneth, her boss.

“Hermione, there’s a letter for you. It came in a few minutes ago. The owl was looking for you, but Betty saw your name on the envelope and stopped the owl. The letter is in your office,� he said.

Hermione didn’t get the chance to ask who it was from before her boss moved on. She made her way to the office, her curiosity getting the best of her. She walked into her office and the letter was sitting on her desk just like she’d been told.

Hermione walked over to the letter. She didn’t recognize the writing on the envelope. She slipped a finger under the unrecognizable seal and slid the envelope open. A single piece of paper floated out and landed on her desk.

Meet me at the park just outside of Diagon Alley at 8:30 p.m. tonight. Don’t be late.

It was unsigned. Hermione frowned. Who was it from? Who would want to meet her under such mysterious circumstances? She decided not to go. After all, for all she knew it could be serial killer.

Hermione dumped the letter in the trash and went back to work. Except that no matter how hard she tried to concentrate, the letter kept nagging her at the back of her mind.

It was finally the end of the day and she still couldn’t get it out of her mind. She firmly resolved to forget about it. She collected her things and prepared to go home. She left the building, but instead of going to the portkey that would take her home, her feet started to go in the direction of the park.

“What am I doing?� Hermione asked herself. But no matter how much she told herself to turn around her feet kept going forward. It seemed that the curiosity that had gotten her in trouble during so many occasions in her youth was going to get her in trouble again today. Hermione finally resigned herself to the fact that she was too curious and would continue in the direction of the park.

A few minutes later she reached the park. She went to the bench that she had sat on so many months before and sat down once more. She looked around and saw no one.

“Well duh Hermione! What do you expect? You don’t even know if the person who left the letter is male or female let alone what they look like,� she scolded herself. Hermione tried to calm her breathing. She was one of the smartest witches of her generation. She could take care of herself just fine. And with that thought, she settled down and waited.

Suddenly she heard a twig snap behind her. Hermione quickly stood up and turned around and found herself face to face with Draco Malfoy (bet you all guessed that). Her eyes widened considerably. He still looked the same except that there were dark circles under his eyes now.

“Wh…What are you doing here?� she asked hating the stammer in her voice.

“Can’t a man walk through a park at his will?� he asked echoing the exact same words that he had used five months ago.

Hermione was speechless. She had just planned to forget about him and now he was here standing in front of her looking absolutely gorgeous even with the dark circles. As much as Hermione ached to run into his arms, she knew that it was wrong. They were never meant to be.

Then why does it feel so right? a voice inside her head asked. Hermione tried to drown that voice out.

Draco looked at Hermione like a dehydrated man in a desert who had just found water. She hadn’t changed one bit. She was still the most breath-taking woman he had ever seen. Once again Draco asked himself why he was here and why he had asked her to meet him. Deep in his heart he knew the answer. He couldn’t forget her and God knows he had tried.

They continued to stare at each other, neither saying a word. Finally Hermione just couldn’t take it anymore. She knew that if she looked at him any longer she would crack, so she did the only thing she could. She turned around to walk away.

Just like before, Draco grabbed her arm, turned her around, and stepped closer. Except this time, no angry words were exchanged. They were too busy trying to calm their pounding hearts. It had started to rain.

“Let go of me,� Hermione whispered wishing she could sound angrier.

“No.�

“Please,� she whispered again the quiver in her voice evident now more than ever.

Draco felt something suspiciously like guilt in his heart as he stared into the sad eyes of Hermione Granger. He had made her sad. He was responsible. Although he didn’t know why, Draco wanted more than anything in the world to wipe away that sadness forever.

“I can’t let go. God knows I’ve tried,� he whispered hoarsely as he brought his face closer to hers. Hermione said nothing. She waited for him to continue.

“I’ve tired every second of these last few months to let you go, Hermione.� Hermione tried to suppress the tingle she felt when he used her first name. “I can’t get you out of my head. I spend every waking moment thinking about you and every sleeping moment dreaming about you. Dreaming about how good you felt in my arms. Imagining how good it would feel to kiss you again,� he said in broken whispers.

Hermione closed her eyes. She knew that if she looked into his eyes she would give in and no matter what she could never give in. He had the power to break her heart and shatter her soul. She wouldn’t willingly give him so much power over her. But Hermione’s resolution to be stone hearted was betrayed by the tears leaking past her eyes. She closed her eyes even tighter.

Hermione felt warm fingers wiping away her tears.

“Open your eyes, Hermione.�

She didn’t respond. Then Draco did the one thing that he had sworn he would never do in his entire life. He begged.

“Please Hermione, open your eyes,� he repeated his voice growing even hoarser.

Hermione couldn’t take it anymore. She cracked open her eyes and stared straight into Draco’s grey eyes.

“I never lived until you. You gave me life Hermione. You…�

Hermione didn’t hear the rest because she had crushed her lips to Draco’s, silencing him. She hadn’t believed him until now, but the love she plainly saw in his eyes decided things for her. She opened her lips and felt Draco enter her mouth. There was no gentleness this time, only desperation as each tried to get as close as possible.

The rain poured down harder around them and just like that the ache disappeared forever.





Well that’s it. Did it make sense? I hope you like the ending. Review and tell me what you think.