I Loved You First


Today was one of the most anticipated days of the year, especially for the wizarding community. Today was New Year's Eve, but more importantly, it was the wedding of a young wizard and witch.


Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley were getting married.


This day had been greatly anticipated for the two young people. Harry had proposed to Ginny over two years ago, so it had been quite a long engagement. It wasn't that they didn't want to get married, or even that they weren't ready. Many older adults had expressed the opinion that they were too young to wed, and, after all, both Harry and Ginny had careers to start. Now Harry was an Auror for the Ministry, and Ginny was a well-known professional Quidditch player, so the couple consented that today, New Year's Eve, two and a half years later, would be the day of their wedding.


Molly Weasley was practically frantic with excitement, and she really had gone all out for the occasion. The wedding was to be held at the Burrow, as was tradition, and it was decorated more extravagantly than ever. The ceremony and reception were going to be outside, despite the fact it was the dead of winter. This wouldn't have been possible, but thanks to Hermione, a special charm was placed around the yard so it would be warm and dry, and the majestic winter scene was still preserved. It was a beautiful scene with snow-frosted trees, and the white dust sprinkled on the ground made a beautiful, classic black-and-white wedding scene, broken only by the elegantly scattered red roses.


The guest list was relatively small for the wedding. All the Weasleys were present, of course, as well as most of the Hogwarts staff, and a few other close friends made throughout the years. Mr. Weasley even brought out the giant chair from Bill and Fleur's wedding for Hagrid, who of course would be attending. The wedding party was scattered happily around the Burrow prior to the wedding, with mostly everyone talking cheerfully and excitedly. Ron Weasley, however, was a nervous man, even more so than the groom. As Harry’s best man, he would be escorting the maid of honour—Hermione Granger—down the aisle.

Ron had been dreading the moment for many reasons. He hadn't seen, let alone spoken to Hermione, in more than a year. He was nervous to face the woman whom he had grown up with, but even more so, to face the woman she that may have become. But most of all, he feared the memories that he knew would wander back into his thoughts at the sight of her.


His eyes were wandering around the yard as the orchestra queued up and the guests took their seats. The wedding had begun. He looked up to his best friend standing at the end of the aisle, waiting for his future wife. Ron couldn't believe that it was so many years ago when Ginny would run out of the room at the sight of Harry, or even that an entire four years had passed since his baby sister was kissing Harry for the first time after the memorable Quidditch victory. Ron quickly shook the unnerving thoughts out of his head. He had to focus on the task at hand -- escorting Hermione down the aisle.


Victoire, the flower girl, was the first to walk down the aisle. It was hard to believe that this little, angelic girl was merely three years old. She was only a few small steps down the aisle when little Teddy Lupin ran to her. He was holding the rings with one hand, while he took Victoire's little hand into his own. To nobody's surprise, she left her hand in his, and the two young children skipped down the rest of the aisle.


Next to follow were the bridesmaids, escorted by the groomsmen. Ron’s stomach did a little flip when he realized Hermione was suddenly standing beside him. She didn’t speak, or even look at him. Taking a deep breath, he offered her his arm.


She looked stunning in her black dress. It was long and elegant, and she looked better than ever. Ron thought this dress was a little more risqué than what Hermione would have picked out. But he remembered the dress she had worn for their Hogwarts graduation. It too was black, but it had been short and flirty. Ron remembered his reaction and chuckled, That was funny.


“Pardon me?�


He hadn’t realized he had spoken aloud. “Oh, nothing, Hermione,� Ron said sheepishly.


It was funny though… He thought as his mind began to wander.


***


"Harry, can you believe it? We're done with school forever!"



Harry smiled, "Well except for those of us that want to become Aurors."


"Oh yeah, I forgot about that," Ron admitted. "Well at least Auror training will be fun! Hermione, you, and me! The trio unites to fight dark wizards -- just like always. I mean, it's what we're best at! I kind of missed those evil doers this year.� Though Ron was being somewhat sarcastic, he truly was excited to start his Auror training. Plus, he was going to be with Harry and Hermione. Nothing could be better.


“I know what you mean,� Harry agreed. “After not being in school for a year, the only N.E.W.T. I thought I did well on was Defense Against the Dark Arts, and maybe Transfiguration. I couldn’t remember anything we’d learned in our sixth year.� Harry finished doing up his tie, and the two boys walked down to the Gryffindor common room.


Ron looked around for Hermione. She wasn't down yet. Girls… He thought.
"Harry, where's Hermione?"


“I dunno, but Ginny’s coming down.� Harry was beaming at the sight of Ginny descending the staircase in her deep blue strapless dress. Ron restrained the urge to remind Harry forcefully that Ginny was Ron's little sister, but luckily for Harry, Hermione was following right behind Ginny, and Ron was now fully preoccupied.


Hermione looked absolutely stunning. Her hair was down, softly curling around her face, but it still retained the slight bushiness that Ron loved about it. The subtlest hint of makeup lined her eyes and coloured her lips. Her silky black dress stopped just above her knees, and its delicate straps seemed to crisscross in the back. It flattered Hermione in every way possible. He stared at her in awe, but before he had even realized he felt light-headed, he fainted.



He could hear Hermione frantically trying to bring him back to consciousness, "Ron! Ron! Wake up!"

He opened up his eyes to find a pair of deep brown eyes staring back. He then realized that he was no longer on the floor, but situated on one of the Gryffindor sofas near the fire. His head…his head was resting in Hermione’s lap. He was very pleased with this position, but his only response was a goofy grin that spread across his face.


Hermione rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t hold in her warm smile. “It’s about time you came around, Ron.�


“Mmhmm?� The dizziness had not quite passed. “How long have I been out?�


“Ages! Well, a couple of minutes, really. Are you feeling okay? When was the last time you ate?�


“A few hours ago. I didn’t faint from hunger or anything,� he assured her. He was more than a little embarrassed about it all, but she didn’t give up in her endeavour.


“Well, what caused it, then? Are you sick? Oh, if it’s because you’re nervous about graduation—Ron, I am too, but don’t worry! We still have a week left to enjoy Hogwarts, so…�


“Hermione, it’s not graduation, and I’m not sick either. I…er—well, it’s just that…when you were walking down the steps from the girls' dormitories… well you look so bloody brilliant! AndthenIforgottobreath…� Ron was blushing furiously. He had just said that to Hermione—Hermione!—while lying with his head in her lap. Oh my Godric, I'm such a treacle tart…


Hermione blushed just as profusely. “Thank you, Ron. You look quite nice yourself. Um…shall we head down to the Great Hall, then? It wouldn’t make a good impression if we were late to our own graduation.�


Ron laughed as he slowly sat. That was Hermione, always thinking about academics and work in one way or another, but he learned to love that about her over the years. He had grown to love everything about her over the years.


"Yeah, we had better get going. Thanks Hermione." With that, the two stood and he entwined his fingers with hers. Hermione's soft touch entranced Ron every time, even after dating her for nearly a year.


Their relationship was kind of a unique thing. They still bickered often, but they didn’t have real arguments anymore. Being with Harry and Hermione was as natural as breathing, but he found himself suddenly shy when she and he were alone. Sometimes they flirted, but they were always friends underneath it all—best friends. He sometimes wondered what it would be like if their relationship was more like Harry and Ginny's, who had always been more than just friends. For Ron and Hermione, they were best friends above anything else, but a lot of times it made it difficult for him to express more loving feelings to her, especially when he didn't want to mess up their relationship. She was his best friend and he never wanted that to change, no matter what.

They arrived at the Great Hall just as the ceremony was beginning. It was decorated magnificently for the celebration. All four house colours decorated the walls, and a large Hogwarts coat of arms hung behind the teachers' table. Replacing the four long house tables were dozens of smaller circular tables for the families to sit, much like the seating at the Yule Ball. Approximately sixty chairs were lined up facing the teachers' table, all for the graduating students to sit during the ceremony, before joining their families and friends. More students were graduating this year than usual. Students who did not complete their seventh year last year, along with those who didn't attend seventh year, were graduating with Ginny's year. Ron and Hermione quickly found the two seats Harry and Ginny had been saving them in the rows of chairs. Ron could have sworn Professor McGonagall had glanced reprovingly at them as she took the podium and began her speech.


"It has been quite a year. No words could ever describe everything that we, as both an academic institution and a community, have endured. This is an extraordinary class, a class of talented young witches and wizards who have displayed tremendous courage and loyalty to each other in the most difficult of times. Hogwarts was intended to prepare you to reason and to make wise decisions, but each and every one of you have proven that you can hold your own already. This year was a stepping-stone, a bridge to becoming adults in a wizarding world that will need rebuilding. There is no doubt in my mind that each of you will bless your communities with all of your skills; whether you become a Healer, a Quidditch player, a Ministry employee, a shopkeeper, or an Auror, as I believe quite a few of you will be…� A ripple of laughter filled the room. Ron grinned and gave the thumbs up to Harry and Hermione.


Hermione did not give him the encouraging smile that he had been expecting. When she gave him this weak smile, her eyes even didn't meet his. Ron didn't know what this was about, but he gave her hand an encouraging squeeze, despite his own worried feelings. He decided to put his focus on the rest of the ceremony to distract himself.

After Professor McGonagall was finished, several other teachers spoke, and before they knew it, it was time for the graduation dinner. Ron, Hermione, Harry, and Ginny all joined the Weasleys and Mr. and Mrs. Granger at the table. Ron forgot his previous worries as he tucked into scrumptious feast. Hogwarts food had never tasted better, and it was on Ron's third plate of food before he remembered Hermione's strange reaction.


The conversation turned gradually to careers. Ginny had already been recruited by the all-women’s Quidditch team to play as a Chaser next season. Harry also had been offered a position on Puddlemere United as a Seeker, but he declined to pursue a career as an Auror. He had volunteered to be a reserve, at least for a few years. That, of course, led to a discussion of how soon Harry, Ron, and Hermione intended to start their Auror training. They had been planning to take a month off before they began training, and Harry and Ron had subconsciously developed elaborate plans about how they envisioned their careers. Hermione was unnaturally quiet, considering how important she had said careers were, but before Ron could ask her what she thought, she excused herself to the restroom. He thought this to be suspicious, so Ron claimed he had to “use the restroom� as well, and made his way out of the Hall after her.


He exited the Great Hall and scanned the corridor. He could see Hermione heading out the big front doors. He sprinted after her, and almost tripping over something when he thumped down the steps. It was Hermione. She was sitting on the steps, looking up at the star covered sky.


"Hermione! I didn't see you there!" Ron was worried that he had hurt her because when he saw her face she looked as if she were on the verge of tears.


"Oh, it's okay Ron," she said feebly.


Ron sat down beside her and slid an arm around her shoulders comfortingly. “Hermione, are you okay? You’ve been acting funny all night.�


“Ron…I have something to tell you…� Ron shifted uneasily. Confessions never brought good news. “Harry, you, and I were all going to become Aurors after Hogwarts, right? Well, I…the thing is…plans change. I got offered a job in the Department of Magical Cooperation—international affairs, house-elf rights, that sort of thing, you know? —And I said yes.�


Ron could see her eyes searching his for a reaction. The truth was that he was really disappointed, but he knew this is what Hermione was best at; it was her dream job. Now she could take SPEW to a Ministry level, and he had no doubt in his mind that she was going to be great. Ron was still going to have his dream job as an Auror, but now without girlfriend—his best friend. They weren't going to be the trio any more. It was going to be just Ron and Harry, which definitely was not the couple that Ron wanted.


Her eyes were desperately searching his for some sort of reaction. “Ron, are you mad?�


“No, not mad.� He couldn’t keep the bitterness out of his voice. He was at a loss for better words, but if he could express the disappointment better, he thought he might well be angry.


She could tell he was upset. “Ron, I know this isn’t what we had planned, but we’ll see each other at the Ministry all the time, and we’ll still be seeing each other outside of work, I mean—�


This explanation did not provide contentment for him. "But Hermione," he interrupted, "we have been with each other everyday for the past seven years, minus a few summer weeks, and even more so in this past year. I don't think we have been apart a whole twenty-four hours in the past year. Whenever Harry, you, and I are battling Death Eaters or whoever, you are there with me. You give me motivation and confidence even in the most excruciating duels. How you do expect me to get through without my best friend at my side?" Why did Hermione want to have a different job than one with Ron?


“Ron, being an Auror is the perfect job for you, and you know it! You’re good at it, and you can do a good job on your own!�


“You’re wrong. Without you, I don’t know who I am—I’ll be just another nameless, faceless wizard at a new job next month, and you won’t be there—Hermione, I need you!� That was what he had been trying to say. Did she still not understand?


“Ron, you might not believe me, but I feel the same way. We’ve grown up together, you’re practically a part of who I am, but…�


“But then why do you want us to be apart?�


“You’re missing the point, Ron!� Hermione was nearly shouting. “I don’t want us to be apart, but these jobs are what we have been working towards for years! We can’t throw away our schooling just so that we can be together all the time!� She stopped to catch her breath, and when she spoke again, it was in a much gentler voice. “Ron, are you scared of being alone on the job or are you afraid of being alone after the work day is over?�


Ron sighed. He knew the answer as well as she did; he just didn’t want to let her go, because he was always inexplicably afraid that she might not come back. “I’m afraid of losing you,� he said quietly. “It took us so long to get as close as we are now, and I don’t want anything to change. I don’t want to ruin this. Hermione…I love you.� However much Ron was blushing, he never took his blue eyes off of her now tearing up brown ones.


"I love you, Ron Weasley." Hermione smiled. Ron had finally worked up the courage to tell Hermione that he loved her. All the tension and worries were released in those three words. He leaned in and kissed her, long and passionately. Those three words made Ron realize that he was going to love Hermione whether or not they were together every second of the day, or just stealing moments like these throughout the week.


In this moment, sitting under the stars, kissing Hermione, he knew that the only thing that mattered was that he loved her and she loved him back. Wow, she loves me… he thought…

***


She loved him then. Not anymore. The brown eyes staring back at him no longer reflected that depth of love and compassion; her eyes were lost, lonely, so different—she was so different. Different from the person she had been the night he had kissed her…the night he had said, “I love you.�