It was almost dusk. The sun kissed the horizon goodbye as the moon slowly rose, taking its place. It was the end of another rigorous day, the kind that made Remus Lupin anxious. What made him apprehensive was not that his three closest mates were risking expulsion for him. No, it was much simpler. What perturbed him was that his three best mates seemed to enjoy the idea of being expelled. Admittedly, knowing they would be there was slightly comforting, but what if they didn’t like what they saw?

He sighed; it was too late to stop anything. It was about time to meet Madam Pomfrey in the Hospital Wing, she always liked him to be prompt, just incase. Remus rose from the comfort of the downy chair, his robes rustling in the process. As he climbed out of the portrait hole, his mind filled with doubts again. What if something went wrong? Or if Peter, Sirius, or James found they couldn’t change? What if they actually were caught? He frowned at all the possibilities whirling through his head. It was probably best not to think of these things, but Remus couldn’t help himself. Mounted with the pressure of the full moon, it only agonized him more to think of the probability of those things happening.

Remus looked up, the sky was darkening. He quickened his pace. After of few more minutes of brisk walking, he opened the door leading to the Hospital Wing. Madam Pomfrey was there, waiting as usual. Like always, her gaze was kind but there seemed to be some kind of pity residing there too. It was more disconcerting than consoling. Remus didn’t like it; it only assured the doubts that plagued his mind. That maybe there really was something wrong with him, a filthy animal that deserved sympathy.

The monotony of the situation might have perplexed some, but it was a routine to Remus, nothing out of the ordinary. Every single month it was the same. The silent commute to the Whomping Willow, its branches flailing about. It too appeared to be familiar with the exchange. It was really the only thing that still managed to surprise Remus. As Madam Pomfrey approached, its hazardous limbs slowed, allowing her enough time to prod the knot, stopping it completely.

Remus took one last glance at the night sky. He would never truly be able to appreciate the beauty of the full moon. His opinion distorted, it would always be a curse, a reminder of the tortured howls he emitted, the self-inflicted wounds. Remus ducked into the opening, following Madam Pomfrey. The tunnel was bleak and musky. It had a funny smell to it, making Remus’ noise scrunch in irritation. Remus supposed that most people that were able to make it this far would turn back; the eerie feeling the tunnel exuded was enough to scare anyone off. The first time he had traveled this way, he had been half out of his mind with the terror that clutched his heart. Remus could still feel his younger heart beating rapidly, unsure of the outcome.

The walls felt more like a prison than anything, holding back the monster that Remus was forced to became each month. Sometimes it seemed humorous to Remus how easily people fed into the lies about the Shrieking Shack being haunted. It only added to the mystery of the old, forgotten house.

Still, it didn’t matter, if the place frightened them enough to stay away, good. Remus wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he inflicted the pain he felt upon someone else. The thought alone sent shivers up his spine, the mere suggestion reminded him just how wrong an idea it was for James, Sirius and Peter to involve themselves in this mess. If he harmed them…it would be far worse than any pain he ever had or could endure. It all but drove him mad.

By the time Remus had finished contemplating this, they had reached the end of the passageway. Madam Pomfrey opened the door to the little room and bid him farewell, leaving him to disrobe. After shutting the door quietly, Remus slipped out off his clothing.

He was slightly embarrassed at the prospect of his friends being there for his transformation. It made him uncomfortable to think that they too might think better of romping around with a full-grown, possibly deadly werewolf once he transformed. While they might enjoy it, he would have to wake up in the morning tortured and exhausted, wondering what had happened the night before. Never really knowing, only hearing about the great fun the four of them had.

He bristled. The time was nearing. Remus had gotten lost in his thoughts again, losing track precious. There, it was that feeling again. The one he got rather frequently right before a transformation. His body responding quicker than his mind could process it. His transformation was beginning.

The pain that pulsed through his body was staggering, even though years of transforming had made it slightly more bearable. The aching in his muscles started just as abruptly. The burning sensation spread, his body lengthening against its will, a snarl escaping him. His bones taking on a whole new structure that was foreign, unwelcome. Now the muscles were searing, almost to the point of ripping apart completely.

Remus’ hands began to curl in, disappearing into his skin, forming rough paws. Fur began to sprout all over his body. At first it was a light tickling sensation, but then a whole new feeling took over as though someone was jabbing needles into his skin, in a million different places, and all at the same time. He couldn’t imagine anything, including death, feelings much worse than this. Maybe…but before Remus could finish his thought it was lost forever, trapped in a corner of his mind, never to be retrieved.

The pain subsided, his wolfish instincts taking over. His senses always heightened after he transformed; his hearing became more acute, his eyesight grew sharper. Remus sniffed the air cautiously. He was not alone. Curious, he drew closer to the shadowy figures that were entering the shack. They stopped at the sight of him and stood still, no bad intent reflected in their eyes. They posed no threat. Satisfied, Remus backed off.

It would be the first of many nights in which the werewolf no longer have to be contained. He would not have to suffer alone anymore. The pain would not be as terrifying because his friends would be there, waiting.