He knew he should be at Hogwarts going through his stores; he knew he was low on several crucial ingredients for his classes. But instead of being where he should be, he was sitting in the living room of his home in Spinners End, alone in the growing darkness thinking over his years of teaching.

Teaching Potions was not his first choice of subjects. Severus Snape wanted to teach Defence Against the Dark Arts, but year after year, he was denied his request. Yet, each year when the current teacher left the position for one reason or another, he asked. Year after year, his request was denied.

He had thought that perhaps this year, he would be granted his request; but, no, the position was given to Professor Quirrell. That man was afraid of his own shadow, how could he possibly teach such a fascinating subject?

Severus heard a tap, tap, tap on the living room window. He stood and walked over to open the window and let in the owl that was perched on the windowsill. The bird flew in and landed lightly on the back of the couch he had just vacated. Walking over, he removed the letter attached to the owl’s leg. The bird hooted once, and immediately flew back out the window.

Looking at the name and address written on the envelope, he immediately recognised the handwriting of the Headmaster of Hogwarts. Sighing heavily, he slipped his finger through the wax seal on the back and drew out the parchment letter. Sitting down on the sofa again, he read:

Severus,

I know you do not understand my decision regarding the post of Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. At the present time, I feel the welfare of this school is better served by you remaining in your current position. There will come a time in the future when you will understand my decision.

I must also remind you of the promise you made to me before you started teaching at Hogwarts. It is now time for you to fulfil this promise as Harry Potter will be attending school this year.

I will expect you here at Hogwarts in the morning to prepare for the coming school year.

Sincerely yours,
Albus Dumbledore

As he finished reading, the letter fell to the floor unnoticed by Severus. Lily’s son. Lily. The pain came swiftly, stabbing through his heart and chest, making his breath catch in his throat.

Lily Evans. He loved her most of his life. How could he have realised by reporting one small so-called ‘Prophecy’, Lily, his Lily, would … die? The pain in his chest did not ease as he thought of the night he made the promise to Professor Dumbledore.

*“I thought … you were going … to keep her… safe …�

“She and James put their faith in the wrong person,� said Dumbledore. “Rather like you, Severus. Weren’t you hoping that Lord Voldemort would spare her?�

Severus Snape stared, transfixed, into nothing as he was lost in the memory of that night.

“Her boy survives,� said Dumbledore. “Her son lives. He has her eyes, precisely her eyes. You remember the shape and colour of Lily Evans’s eyes, I am sure.�

“DON’T!� bellowed Snape. “Gone … dead …�

“Is this remorse, Severus?�

Severus put his head in his hands. The memory was almost as painful as living it had been…almost.

“I wish … I wish I were dead …�

“And what use would that be to anyone?� said Dumbledore coldly. “If you truly loved her, then your way forward is clear.�

“What — what do you mean?�

“You know how and why she died. Make sure it was not in vain. Help me protect Lily’s son.�

“He does not need protection. The Dark Lord has gone —�

“The Dark Lord will return, and Harry Potter will be in terrible danger when he does.�

The pain he felt was now tempered by anger. In his moment of weakness over the death of the one person he had loved, Severus had agreed to protect her son.

At last he said, “Very well. Very well. But never – never tell, Dumbledore! This must be between us! Swear it! I cannot bear… especially Potter’s son … I want your word!�

“My word, Severus, that I shall never reveal the best of you?� Dumbledore sighed, looking down into Snape’s ferocious, anguished face. “If you insist …�*

Severus sat unmoving as the memory of that night, of what he had promised in his grief ran over and over in his head.

Standing suddenly, he walked over to the desk in the corner of the room. Sitting down, he began a response to the letter he had received.

Professor Dumbledore,

I will, as requested, be in my office in the morning.

Your servant,
Severus Snape

Severus folded the piece of parchment paper and slipped it into an envelope. After sealing it with a wax seal with an ornate letter S, he rose and walked through the house and out the back door to call to his owl. After securing the letter to the owl’s leg, he informed the owl of where and to whom to deliver the letter. He also told the owl to remain at Hogwarts.

Once the owl had flown off, Severus went back in the house. He opened the door to his basement and went down to go through his personal stores to pack what he wanted to take with him.

He knew he was short on several items in his personal stores at the school: gillyweed, Bezoar stones, asphodel, Jobberknoll feathers, and lacewing flies. He also knew he needed to brew some Veritaserum, though this would have to wait until he was at the school as it takes a full month to mature.

He took his time gathering those items he knew he was short on, as well as those he normally took with him. Though his office at the school was kept well-stocked, he had brought home most of his prized potions. He did not trust Filch or Peeves to stay out of his office during the summer holiday.

To that effect, he charmed his door so that it would not open for anyone save himself or Professor Dumbledore. But he knew that charms could be and often were broken.

The thought of the broken charm that stole Lily’s life from her brought another wave of pain. He closed his mind to the thoughts of her and her son. He would see soon enough for himself if this boy really had her eyes. He prayed he didn’t. He couldn’t imagine the next seven years of looking into Lily’s eyes, knowing what one choice had cost him.

He placed the assembled items in a trunk. He then used a shrinking charm to shrink the trunk so it could be easily carried. Carrying the now small trunk upstairs, he placed it on the floor in front of the fireplace.

Severus then went upstairs to pack his clothing and other personal items he would be taking with him. The process did not take long. He once again used a shrinking charm on the trunk in which he had placed these personal items. He then carried this trunk downstairs to place it next to the other.

Severus then retired for the night. In the morning, he dressed and after checking the charms on the house were secure, he walked to the fireplace. Using magic, he fastened the trunks together and lifted them. Standing in the fireplace, he dropped a handful of Floo Powder as he stated, ‘Hogwarts’.

He disliked travelling this way, but he knew he could not Apparate into Hogwarts. So, this was the only means of quick transport left to him. He knew by Professor Dumbledore’s letter that the fireplace in his office would be unblocked, the charm that prevented anyone from using Floo powder to get into the school removed. Professor Dumbledore would have seen to that himself, knowing Severus would be arriving today.

After a few moments of spinning, Severus stepped out of the fireplace in his office. There seated behind his desk was Professor Dumbledore.

“Ah, Severus, I am very glad you have kept your word. Though, I expected no less from you. I know you have things to do before the students arrive tomorrow, however, I have a few things I would like to discuss with you prior to your meeting Lily’s son.�

Snape was sure Professor Dumbledore purposely used the phrase ‘Lily’s son’ instead of the boy’s name to get the desired attention from him. It was a subtle way of reminding him of his grief-stricken promise.

“Can this wait? I have unpacking to do and I need to check and see if there is anything I am low on.� Snape’s voice sounded harsh, even to his own ears. “I could come to your office later in the day, if that is convenient for you.�

“I would prefer to do this as soon as possible. However, I am not an unreasonable man; I do understand you need to ensure that you are prepared for your classes. I will expect to see you in my office this afternoon. The password is sherbet lemon.� Professor Dumbledore stood and walked out the door.

Snape took the trunk with his personal items to his rooms down the hall from his office. After unshrinking the trunk, he methodically put each and every item in its proper place. Once that had been accomplished, he returned to his office to do the same with the other trunk.

He then went through each and every item in his storage area, noting what he was running low on. He decided to go to London for the supplies he needed. There were several items that could only be purchased in Knockturn Alley. He left the grounds of the castle and Apparated directly to Knockturn Alley. He would purchase the needed supplies and then make a stop on Diagon Alley to get the other items he needed.

It took several hours to complete his shopping. This was largely due to the overwhelming crowds that were present in Diagon Alley – mostly students rushing to buy the last minute items they needed for tomorrow.

Though he tried not to, he could not help but notice every boy that seemed to be a first year student. He looked into each one’s eyes as they passed him. He was disgusted with himself for his curiosity. Deciding it was past the time for his required talk with Professor Dumbledore, Severus Apparated back to Hogsmeade and walked slowly up to the castle.

He deposited his purchases in his office and went up to the Headmaster’s office. After giving the gargoyle the proper password, he walked slowly up the stairs. He knew without a doubt that Dumbledore wanted to discuss the Potter boy. Snape was not looking forward to having this conversation.

His knock on the door was met instantly with a voice calling, “Come in.� Snape opened the door and walked into the office.

“Severus, I trust your trip to Knockturn Alley and Diagon Alley was successful. You have all of the supplies you need for the coming year?� Professor Dumbledore asked politely as Snape walked across the room to sit in the chair in front of the Headmaster’s desk.

“Yes, I have everything I need,� Severus answered him, not even wondering how Professor Dumbledore knew he had visited Knockturn Alley.

“Good, good. Now, Lily’s son. He has been protected, though he doesn’t know it, these past ten years. Until Hagrid delivered his letter to him, he had no idea he was a wizard. He had no knowledge of what his parents were…� Dumbledore paused in his explanation to give Snape a chance to fully understand what he was saying.

“He knows nothing of our world. He only just learned the truth of his parent’s deaths, of … his scar. He knows not the danger he will be in when Voldemort returns. Yes, Severus, I say returns because unlike popular opinion, I believe it is only a matter of time before he returns. You made a promise to me after Lily’s death. I expect you to honour this promise. I expect you to keep Harry - Lily’s son - safe.� Dumbledore looked directly into Snape’s eyes.

Snape knew this was the true reason Dumbledore had insisted on this meeting. It was to remind him of his promise. It was of course unnecessary; he could never forget that he was partially responsible for Lily’s death.

“I will honour my promise. I will protect Lily’s son. But, know this: I will not treat him as anything special. He will be treated the same as any other student.�

“We will see, Severus, we will see.�

Knowing the conversation was over, Snape stood. Nodding to Professor Dumbledore, he strode out. He still had to put his purchases away before the students arrived tomorrow.

Once his supplies were put into their proper places, Severus sat at his desk. Opening the bottom drawer of his desk, he pulled out a dusty photo album. Taking a deep breath, he opened the cover to look at the pictures inside.

Each picture was of Lily. Most were taken in the first few years they had been at Hogwarts. Lily walking down to the lake, Lily smiling and laughing as she talked with friends. The rest were torn parts of pictures in which the object of the photograph had not been Lily. He could not remember now who the subject of the pictures had been, all that remained was the portion he had saved showing Lily. Though the pictures were moving as wizards pictures do, they could not capture the true essence of Lily Evans.

Slamming the album closed, Snape dropped it back into the drawer and pushed the drawer shut. He needed to go over his lesson plans. Though these rarely varied from year to year, he needed to go over his course plans for the first-years. He would see just how much like his mother the boy really was.

---

Severus sat stiffly at the staff table the next evening, waiting for the entrance of the first-years. He would never admit to anyone his curiosity of the Potter boy. As the first-years entered, Severus was able to immediately pick out Lily’s son. He looked just like his father, right down to the messy hair. But it was his eyes that had Severus’s breath catching in his throat. Dumbledore was right, he had Lily’s eyes.

Severus knew the next seven years with this boy were going to be hell.

---

End Note: * Italicized words between *’s is from Deathly Hallows, chapter thirty-three, ‘A Prince’s Tale, pages 678-679 (American version)