Hello, dear newlings, welcome to Hogwarts.
I am your speaking, singing Sorting Hat.
Welcome to a place of ancient magic,
There’s fun and learning to be had.

I hope you all had a wonderful journey,
Pleasant, relaxing and quiet,
Because interesting and busy times lie ahead;
Believe me, you should rely on it.

But do not shrink away in fear,
All around you have friends;
The ghosts and people will help you out,
They’ll guide you to the end.

See what paths lay ahead,
With seven years to be fulfilled;
A much wiser person you’ll soon be,
With the memories you’ve built.

The castle may be enormous,
A labyrinth in which you’ll get lost,
But with the loving care of all others
You’ll find it comes at no cost.

My task now is quick and easily described:
I decide which House suits you best.
And when your first disappointment is over
With happiness you will join the rest.

In a moment we’ll get started
But I need to tell you before
The story of Hogwarts’ beginning,
The story of our founders four.

Bold Gryffindor, sweet Hufflepuff:
Two souls that dreamed to teach;
Wise Ravenclaw, cunning Slytherin:
Two hearts joining the former souls’ preach.

All four sat together at a table,
Discussing what they had planned,
Until Hogwarts was founded and ready,
Waiting for youngsters to attend.

But each of the founders had values
And thought of a House for their own;
They started to divide the students
Not after knowledge but characteristics alone.

Bold and brave, or ambitious and cunning:
This way the four Houses were born;
Wise and studious, or helpful and loyal:
Thus Hogwarts’ founders started being torn.

Witty Ravenclaw looked for the wise
And bright ones among the throng;
Bold Gryffindor took in all students
That were brave, courageous and strong.

Sly Slytherin wanted the ambitious only,
Found them alone worthy to be taught;
Friendly Hufflepuff was to give all others a chance
Because they could be better than thought.

They donned the Houses in their colours each
To exactly show what they stood for;
They still exist, you may look around,
Each colour representing the Houses to their core:

Ravenclaw, she chose the blue
Behind her black-coloured raven,
With the blue standing for wisdom per se,
The Eagle’s Nest being the wise’s haven.

With red is associated love and passion,
Only two to describe Gryffindor’s streak;
The golden lion, proud and fierce –
Not everyone of the Den is always meek.

The silver serpent is Slytherin’s sign,
Sidling across the banner so green,
Symbolises the wish for hope –
The Lair’s inhabitants know what they mean.

Dear Hufflepuff with her dark badger
That dances in front of black and gold
Left her mark on eternity and profundity –
The Badger Set’s wisdom goes often untold.

Harmony still lasted though
And kept the school united,
But someday discrepancy rose –
That’s when we started truly being divided.

An argument arose between Gryffindor and Slytherin,
Some thought it would never end;
Slytherin decided to leave the school,
Leaving behind his once best friend.

Slytherin’s opinion was set on only teaching those
Through whose veins flows only blood so pure.
He didn’t believe others were able to learn
And that the purest were the only ones worthy for sure.

But he did not leave before having sealed
A monstrous being in the castle, deep within;
His heir thus had the chance to keep them pure
And get rid of Muggle-borns: ‘twas Slytherin.

As three the others continued teaching,
It no longer being of what they once dreamed;
After years they saw their ends coming
And left me to be the one redeemed.

Gryffindor ripped me off his head
To put a soul and life in me,
Each founder then gave parts of their qualities
So I can distinguish when reading thee.

But where should Slytherin’s qualities come from?
They thought and Ravenclaw had the right idea:
Each of the left three rummaged their minds
And finally presented me with everything except fear.

So here I am, ready for you,
I will know where you belong.
I’m unbiased and judging thoroughly
And never before I’ve been wrong.

Are you brave and courageous?
Then a Gryffindor you’ll be, indeed.
Enter this House will chivalry
And many friends you will meet.

A lot of fun you shall have there,
Shall make friends with young and old;
Fearlessly the students will strike,
Resembling dear Gryffindor in being bold.

Are you loyal and hard-working?
Then Hufflepuff will be your home.
Being just and unafraid of toil:
Is for what the Hufflepuffs are known.

Friendly Badgers are all around,
Helping you in and out.
They truly will be your family,
And this is what Hufflepuff talked about.

Are you clever, wise and witty?
Your House then will be Ravenclaw.
With a ready mind you’ll meet people
That learn from whatever in life they saw.

Discussions will go on endlessly,
And you should never grow tired.
Assembling quick and clever minds
Is what Ravenclaw herself inspired.

Or are you cunning and ambitious?
Then Slytherin is the right House for you.
Meet friends to help achieve your goals,
In whatever you wish or like to do.

The House may not possess a reputation
That everybody likes to hear,
But once you’ve settled down your own,
Slytherin is no reason to fear.

No matter what House you are in,
They all have had their share of fame:
Wizards and witches of importance alike;
You can be one and become great the same.

Just learn and be yourself to the core
And you will see where your path will lead,
Seven years aren’t easy to survive
But once you did you’re prepared indeed.

Life won’t be easier just the next day,
Yet it is always worth the try,
Jump right in and do have fun,
Only remember to not be shy.

But no matter what family you here might find,
Let me warn you right beforehand,
Harmony and unity are Hogwarts’ souls;
To not respect them will be your end.

Only together can we stand our ground
And face whatever danger there might be,
Only as a team a war can be fought,
Help others and you will find help for thee.

The darkness lurking outside the walls –
It’s not only deepest dangerous night.
Keeping together develops hope
With which to win the war you might.

Not long ago in danger we were
After peaceful times for a thousand years;
There only a single person caused
Torture, death and many tears.

In Hogwarts had set foot the boy,
Only eleven years of age,
Yet Slytherin’s heir grew mighty soon
And started to plan his life’s next stage.

His ability to talk to snakes made it easier
To keep Slytherin’s monster under his power;
When the beast was awaken after years of sleep,
It was Hogwarts’ darkest hour.

Many students got attacked,
Were petrified, turned to stone;
One girl though didn’t have much luck:
She died and is since then alone.

Silence returned with the boy’s graduation,
Peace and safety came back hence;
It held for only fifty years
Before we got ready for another defence.

Yet three brave students thought ahead
And went to solve the task,
Disregarding every rule,
Never thinking once to ask.

Known as the Golden Trio
And Gryffindors to the very heart,
They brought us together again,
Stopped Hogwarts from being ripped apart.

And although the rules are meant to be –
Try to think outside the box,
The three I mentioned did just that
When going to hunt a Horcrux.

Seven there had been in total:
Different objects, snake and man.
Creating them you rip your soul,
Killing yourself the worst one can.

Immortality above all else,
To not die is what the man sought;
He didn’t care about perdition –
That’s what upon himself he brought.

The last enemy to be destroyed:
It shall be death itself.
Yet you need to get into power –
Deeper than anyone should dare to delve.

Slytherin’s heir did just that,
Paid with his life and soul.
Remember this when you get strong
And early adjust your life’s goal.

And the only one the heir had feared
Had committed that same crime;
But he had learned from his mistakes
And became the greatest in his time.

Our choices are what make us tick,
Not what we’re born to be.
Always think before acting on power,
Remember my words and see.

And do not bicker among yourselves
Or make friends only in your House,
Seek friendship around Hogwarts-wide,
Turn back the elephant into the mouse. *

This way no danger will harm you
Or your friends in this regard,
Be friendly and helpful all around
To let harmony surge through every heart.

And listen to the Elder’s talk
And learn what they want us to gain,
Do not forget about your heart
And nothing will have been in vain.

Carrying with us the memory
The past will never be gone;
To value the future it teaches us,
And its creation has just begun.

Keep in mind my words of tonight
And everything will be okay.
Oh, anxiety I feel all over,
So allow me one final thing to say.

Now quickly sit and await my choice,
I promise I won’t bite.
Now sit and you will hear your House,
You know, I’m always right!

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* To turn a mosquito or mouse into an elephant – that’s the word-by-word translation from a German proverb. It’s the same meaning as “To make a mountain out of a molehill�. I just used the word-by-word translation in the reversed way because it fit and rhymed perfectly in the context. I hope you don’t mind that the Sorting Hat’s song therefore isn’t completely English…