“JAMES POTTER WANTS TO SHAG LILY EVANS!� Sirius Black’s voice carried through the soft murmuring of their fellow Gryffindors in the common room; suddenly there were shocked giggles and whispers coming from the young students, and the elder students roared with laughter. With a howl, James himself jumped at Sirius, tackling him.


“You slimy little git,� he muttered furiously in Sirius’s ear. Sirius shoved him off and slid back into his chair. James glared at him as Remus Lupin tugged him back into his own chair.


“Leave him,� Remus told him. “He’s just jerking your leg around. Anyway, everyone already knows you want to shag Lily.� James glared at Remus, but couldn’t bring himself to knock him upside the head. “Okay, okay,� he said quickly, seeming to sense James’s urge. “Sorry, mate.�


The giggling had died out from all but one corner, the seventh years’ corner, where he knew Lily’s friends Madeline Murphy and Ellen Young were sitting. James turned to them and hissed, “If you say one bloody word to Evans, I swear to Merlin – �


Madeline, a Londoner from the East End, ruptured into more giggles, but said, “Don’t worry, Potter. Your secret lust after what’s hidden in Lily’s knickers is safe with us!� Ellen – Remus’s conservative crush – shrieked.


James glared at Remus. “Can you not control women anymore?�


“Women aren’t meant to be controlled, Potter,� a voice said, chastising with such venom and distaste dripping from it that only one person could possibly be the owner.


“How very feministic of you, Evans,� James snapped over his shoulder, watching somewhat upside-down as Lily sat down between her best friends.


“Evening, Remus,� Lily said to Moony, ignoring James. “Evaded Slughorn, I see.�


Remus, who actually was friends with the love of James’s life, rolled his eyes. “Hardly. Thankfully he spotted Ludo Bagman on his way over and instantly offered to chat up about Quidditch with him.�


Slughorn – the Potions master and head of Slytherin House - was often inviting “promising� students to his little parties, hoping that when they became rich and famous they’d remember him. James doubted if he knew anything about Quidditch at all.


“Funny,� James said, glaring back down at his copy of The Daily Prophet . “He’s never asked me.�
“Sorry, Potter,� Lily snarled, “but the only thing promising about you is that in the next five minutes you’ll do something rather obnoxious.� James bit his lip, biting back his retort. Let her be satisfied, Jamsie, he told himself. All you need now is another argument with Lily Evans.


“Hey, Madeline,� Sirius called.


“Stuff it, prig,� she called back.


“Bitch,� Sirius shouted.


“Man-whore!� She screeched back. More giggles erupted from the young students, and Ellen looked positively shocked. Madeline shot a glance at Sirius, then stood up, swinging her hips as she walked towards him. It was strange, who Lily hung out with, James realized not for the first time. She fell somewhere short of being as conventional as little Ellen and yet was nowhere near brazenly lusty like Madeline. Every boys’ head turned when Madeline with her ridiculously long and tan legs sat down on Sirius’s lap and planted her lips on his. James could practically hear Remus’s eyes rolling next to him. No one quite understood Sirius and Madeline’s relationship. One moment they ignored each other; the next they were all cuddly cuddly and cutesy; then they would call each other names; and then they would be making out.


“Get a room!� Someone shouted.


“I think that’d be worse,� someone screeched in laughter.


“I THINK YOU ALL SHOULD JUST SHUT THE BLOODY HELL UP AND LET ME KISS HER IN PEACE,� Sirius roared before Madeline jumped off his lap and pulled him towards the dorm rooms. There were wolf whistles from some older students and Ellen looked positively aghast. Sirius, however, swept Madeline off into his arms and carried her up the stairs into the boys’ dormitory as the on-looking Gryffindors burst into a roaring applause.


Ellen turned to Lily. “Do you think they’ll really…you know…�


Remus laughed, walking around James’s chair to join the girls. “Knowing them…� He thought. “Yes.� Ellen’s eyes bugged out and Remus laughed again. “Come on, what’s the worst that could happen?�


“I dunno,� Ellen said sarcastically. She dropped her voice to a harsh whisper so only Remus, Lily, and James could hear; Peter edged closer but to no avail and did not hear her say, “She could get pregnant, Remus!�


Lily shook her head quickly, and Remus looked absolutely ashamed of himself. Lily whispered, “No, she couldn’t…could she?� In her desperation to find an answer, something reassuring her that there was no possible way that Sirius and Madeline’s ventures into the mystical world of sex could end up in such a devastating situation, she met James’s eyes, round and hazel and reassuring. She blinked and turned away to Ellen.


“No,� she said, more assuredly this time. “No. She can’t.� But she didn’t really seem so sure of it.


“Oh, for Merlin’s sake,� James snapped. “You three are sitting there freaking about about them shagging each other, and you won’t do a single thing?� He sighed. “Fine. I’ll go. But if I have to see either of them naked, I will defenestrate you all.�


He got out of his chair and swung his way up the stairs. When he reached the highest room – which had been their dorm since their first year – he for a moment studied the photo on the door. It was of himself, Sirius, Remus, Peter, and Frank Longbottom, their other roommate and friend. The photo had been taken the last year, and pinned up by Sirius on their first day back this term. James listened hard, but all he could hear from the other side of the door were giggles and a softly murmured conversation.


James raised his fist and banged on the door. He heard Madeline’s shocked gasp and then her high, tinkling voice let out a new stream of giggles. Raising his eyes to the ceiling, James said, “Is everyone decent, meaning, well, clothed?�


After a moment, Sirius called out, “Now we are!� James took a deep breath and entered the dorm. Sirius was sitting on his bed, wearing only jeans that fell low on his hips, revealing the elastic band of his plaid boxers underneath. Madeline was standing awkwardly beside the four-poster, eyeing James with annoyance. It didn’t take long for him to note her usually short-skirt was askew on her hips and her hair wasn’t the perfect masterpiece it usually was.


“Okay, you slimy little dungbomb,� Sirius said, folding his arms across his bare chest. “What is it you want?�


“I came to interrupt you.�


Madeline let out a snort from her perfect nose and rolled her eyes. “Typical.�


“Beg pardon?� James said.


“I said,� Madeline pressed, “that that’s so typical James Potter. Just when someone else is about to get shagged he goes and ruins it all.�


“Who said I was going to shag you?� Sirius said, looking alarmed from Madeline to James.


“Oh, shut up, you know you were,� Madeline snapped.


Sirius nodded in resignation. “So true, so true…� James rolled his eyes. Of course, he was really quite dubious that Sirius would seriously consider losing his virginity to Madeline Murphy. Sure. They were friends, had been for years. Sure. They lusted after each other. But is lust really worth losing that for? James thought sourly. He wouldn’t. No matter how superficial people thought he was, he would never ever lose something so irreplaceable in a tiny dorm room with fifty kids sitting two floors below, just because he – to put it as Madeline said – wanted what was in some girls knickers. No way.


“Anyway,� James pressed, shaking the thought from his mind. “I came to interrupt you for my friends. And Evans,� he quickly added, distinguishing her from the grouping of Remus and Ellen. “To remind you that, basically, you shag her, she gets pregnant, her parents kill you, and then nothing’s good.� Madeline looked positively alarmed. Sirius’s lesser reaction satisfied James – it told him Sirius would have stopped her before actually doing anything, and he knew that Madeline probably would have no problem not doing anything, either. She was intoxicated by Sirius’s mere presence (most of the time).


James flashed a smile and hurried down the stairs so that they could have some privacy again. When he got to the bottom step, he almost flattened a little first year girl who was coming up the stairs. She stared up at him with her large brown eyes quite wide, and then gave a little gasp and hurried past him.


“Looks like James has a new little admirer,� said a voice. Frank had joined the small group, as had his girlfriend Alice Wayland. She was also a Gryffindor in their year, and one of Lily’s other close friends.


“Shut up, Longbottom,� James muttered, throwing himself down between Alice and Remus. He glanced at Lily and found himself suddenly thinking what it would take to have her up there with him instead of Sirius and Madeline. Shut up, you, he told his brain. He should not be thinking about Lily like that.


“Don’t be so sad,� Alice said soothingly.


“Yeah,� Remus said. “We all know you’d rather be up there shagging Madeline, but you can’t steal Sirius’s girl.�


“MADELINE IS NOT SIRIUS’S GIRL!� Lily shouted, defending her gender, while at the same time, James shouted, “I DO NOT WANT TO SHAG MADELINE!�


Lily glared at him, but regained her composure to say, “Women are not objects. We are human beings and not anyone’s ‘girl,’ got it?�


“Yeah,� Remus said, holding his hands up in surrender. “Sorry, mate,� he added to James, though James could tell he wasn’t really sorry at all.


“Look,� Ellen said, pointing to the stairs. Everyone turned, and Madeline emerged, looking tearful. “Mad!� She cried, as Madeline seemed to fall down in a heap at the bottom of the stairs. The seventh years hurried to her side, Lily and Frank picking her up off the floor by her upper arms and steadying her way over to the couch. There were stares coming from everyone else in the common room, but they ignored them.


“Mad, what’s wrong?� Alice whispered, leaning to her friend. Madeline glanced up at James, meet his eyes with her watery gaze. Tears overflowed and spilled down her tanned cheeks. Lily looked between them, and James saw out of his peripheral vision. He glanced at her, too, and shook his head.


“Sirius.�


The single word sent a vibe through the group of friends – even Peter, standing slightly behind them all, realized exactly what had happened: Sirius had refused to give himself over to her.


“Oh, Mad,� Lily sighed. “It’s okay. He’s…not worth it?� James and Remus both glared at her, but before either of them could say anything, Madeline choked out, “But he is.�


James sighed too, and said, “Lust isn’t worth it, Madeline, you know? Lust isn’t worth shagging someone over. Even if it’s not your first.�


Then Madeline turned her wide, hazel eyes on James. “So is that it? Is that what you all think of me? Do you think I’ve already given myself over to someone just for the fun of it?� Everyone exchanged glances, and Madeline let out a shriek of outrage. “And you lot call yourselves my friends!� She began sobbing so hard she fell against Ellen, who hugged her tightly.


“It’s okay, Mad,� she whispered. She looked at Lily and Alice, clearly unsure how to handle this. Lily looked totally lost.


“Listen, Madeline,� Lily sighed, scooting in between Ellen and Madeline. “I’m sorry. We all are, for assuming things. And we were wrong. Can you forgive us?�


Madeline didn’t respond at first. Then she fixed her gaze on a point just above Frank’s shoulder across from her and the tears came out again. Everyone turned and saw Sirius entering the room from the stairs, tugging on a gray t-shirt. He spotted them and came over, freezing when he saw Madeline.


She inhaled deeply and gave him the worst look she could muster. James realized that Sirius looked utterly, utterly sorry. He took a breath and then said, “Madeline. Can I talk to you? In private?�


Madeline stared at him, deadpan. Her voice was monotonous and dead when she finally spoke. “Fuck you, Black.�

Sirius and Madeline avoided each other like the plague. During class, they refused to sit near each other, and so forced the rest of the Marauders, Lily, Ellen, Frank, and Alice to sit between them. People stared – teachers, even: Sirius Black and Madeline Murphy generally were inseparable (when they were getting along); literally, nearly always glued at the lips.


Only the Gryffindor seventh years knew truly what was going on. That Madeline really wasn’t the person everyone thought she was, and that she’d been refused. That Sirius Black didn’t want to sleep with her. That things were not at all as they appeared.


“Why can’t they just accept what happened and move on?� Ellen muttered angrily at lunch, glaring down at Madeline, sitting a few seats away, and who was staring deadpan at her food, silently putting it in her mouth and mechanically chewing. It was a warm October day, a week since the incident had occurred; Sirius had already shoveled Sheppard’s Pie into his mouth and departed to “go study.�


Lily shrugged. “Because, they’re Madeline and Sirius. They’re stubborn gits who do not accept things that ‘just happen.’ Plus, it didn’t ‘just happen.’�


Alice looked confused. “What do you mean?�


Sighing, Lily lowered her voice to a whisper. “Madeline wanted to do it. Sirius didn’t. Madeline isn’t used to being rejected, and Sirius hasn’t ever been encountered with a situation he’d have to refuse!� Sitting back satisfied, she continued to butter a roll. “Anyway,� she pressed, “I think soon this’ll all be over with anyway. How long have they ever not spoken? A week and a half. It’s been a week. I give them two more days.�


“I doubt it,� James muttered. She glanced at James, who had been watching her from Ellen’s left side. Their eyes met for a moment, and then she pulled hers away. He noticed before taking a sip from his goblet that she didn’t blush.


“You do?� Frank said from Alice’s side. “I think Lily’s got a point there.�


“They don’t know how to be angry with each other,� Alice agreed. “Not seriously angry. Not like this.�


James sighed. “Honestly? I know Sirius as well as I know myself. And you’re right – he doesn’t know how to deal with this. And so he’ll just drag it out, fearing the day where he’ll be paired with Madeline Murphy in Potions.�


**


Two days later, James sat triumphantly in the Gryffindor common room, smiling grimly at Lily. “What did I tell you?� He said. Surely enough, Sirius had avoided Madeline all day; at break, when they’d gone to the lake to quiz each other on Transfiguration, Sirius had not-so-politely excused himself when Madeline’s tall and slender figure appeared on the hill, coming down towards them. Now, James, Lily, Alice, Frank, and Peter sat alone in the common room just before dinner.


“So your pleased, then?� Lily snapped. “That they’re not speaking?�


James was caught off guard. “W-what?� Lily rolled her eyes, and James quickly changed the subject. “Where are Remus and Ellen?�


“No doubt off making out,� Frank grinned, elbowing Peter in the side. Peter gave them a small, shaky smile, strained as if he was unsure why he was being included in this conversation. Peter generally seemed unsure why he was included in any conversation: James, Sirius, and Remus were the coolest of the cool. Frank, too, even. But most people ignored or avoided Peter. He was ‘weird,’ a small and nervous boy with watery eyes and pale hair. They thought he was strange.


Except the Marauders. They had accepted him day one.


“I doubt it,� Alice said, pulling Peter back to earth. She glared a little at Frank. “Ellen wouldn’t.�


“And yet I think when it comes to Remus, she would,� Lily said, surprising everyone.


“What are you talking about?� Alice lookedshocked. “You’re not serious!�


Lily shrugged. “Yes I am. And I think they’re getting serious themselves.� James and Frank exchanged a glance: could she be right? Lily saw their faces and sighed. “It’ll be fine. Honestly. They’ve liked each other for seven years now.� She lowered her voice and added confidently, “And I don’t think anything’ll happen like Sirius and Madeline.�


“You just said they’re probably making out!� James snapped at her. “Make up your mind, Evans.�


Lily glared at him. “Excuse me, Potter, did you say something? I only heard excessively annoying whining.� She stood up. “Alice d’you want to come with me to the library? I really want to get that Charms essay finished…�


Alice jumped up. “Sure, let’s go.� The two girls grabbed their bags and quickly left the common room. Frank slid down onto the couch next to Remus, taking Lily’s place.


“Why can’t things just be simple anymore?� He muttered, running a hand through his floppy brown hair.


“This is only the beginning, Frank,� James murmured quietly, eyes trained on Peter’s profile. “This is only the beginning.�


And he was never more right.


**


Meanwhile, Ellen Young sat with her head on Remus Lupin’s shoulder, never feeling more at peace. They were outside in the courtyard, just below a window, talking the night away. That is, until dinner.


They had grown quiet, however. But then Ellen said, “Why do you hang out with Peter?�


Remus glanced at her, look confused. “I don’t – �


Horrified at what she said, Ellen clapped a hand to her mouth and gasped, “No, I didn’t mean it – I didn’t mean that! I’m sorry, Remus!�


“It’s okay,� he shrugged, pulling her closer to him, his arm around her shoulder. “I know what you mean.� Remus sighed, and then said, “I think....please don’t tell anyone this…but I’m worried about Peter.�


“How do you mean?�


“Well…he’s been acting kind of st – � But he never got to finish his thought, because at that moment, Sirius burst into the courtyard, looking furious. Sure enough, Madeline was following him, screaming.


“…don’t you even care?� she was saying.


Sirius spun around. “Of course I care!� He spat angrily. They were close enough for the hidden couple to hear every word. “Why do you think I didn’t – �
He quickly swallowed his words as Madeline advanced. From what Remus could see from where he sat in the dying light, she was fuming.


“You care about someone?� She snarled, poking her finger in Sirius’ chest. Ellen and Remus exchanged a glance. “Holy Merlin, the world is coming to an end. Listen, Black. I know you’ve never…you know’d before. Nor have I.� Sirius opened his mouth, but Madeline shook her head. “So I wanted you to be my first. ‘Cause…I think I love you.�


Ellen let out a gasp, and Remus quickly clapped a hand to her mouth, but it was too late: the damage was done, and both Madeline and Sirius turned to where they sat hidden by the oncoming darkness, enveloped in the shadow.


Sirius bolted towards them, shouting, “You had better show yourself before I fucking hex you!� As he ran, he pulled out his wand.


“PADFOOT!� Remus bellowed, jumping up just as Sirius’ face began to shine through the gloom. Sirius skidded to a halt, and muttered, “Lumos.� The wand tip ignited and he saw that it was Remus and Ellen, who was struggling to her feet.


“Well, then,� Sirius said, smiling smugly. “Sorry to interrupt things.�


“Ellen? Remus?� It was Madeline, standing at Sirius’ shoulder. “What are you guys – oh.� Her eyes fell on Remus’ hand snaked around Ellen’s. “Sorry…!�


“Don’t be,� Remus said quickly.


Then Madeline’s eyes narrowed. “If you tell a single bloody soul what I said, I swear on all things good and chocolaty I will curse you.�


“Well now that you’ve sworn on chocolate, we know you’re serious,� Remus muttered. Madeline took an angry step towards him, but Remus threw his hands up in surrender. “Joking, joking. I promise.�


“Of course I do, too.� Ellen nodded vigorously, smiling shyly at Madeline, who seemed satisfied. “Well, I’m hungry…Remus, you coming?�


He quickly caught Sirius’ eye; the other boy nodded his head a fraction of an inch, and Remus said, “Yeah…let’s go.�


Sirius and Madeline turned to watch Remus and Ellen walk across the courtyard and get swallowed up by shadow, holding hands.

So Sirius and Madeline remained a secret hidden amongst their friends. They'd given Remus and Ellen permission to tell James, Lily, Frank, Peter, and Alice they were dating again (but still wouldn't let them mention Madeline's outburst). The other students only knew that they were back on speaking terms, and their affection had to remain at a minimum in public.

James, Remus, and Frank were sitting up in bed one night about a week after Madeline's coveted confession; Sirius was in the Common Room, finishing his Potions essay, and Peter had disappeared as usual.

"Why is this all so secretive?" Frank muttered, pounding his fist. "It's so annoying, having to keep it al hush-hush."

"If it's hard for us," Remus mused, "imagine how hard it is for them. I mean, this is Sirius and Madeline we're talking about."

Frank shrugged. "Still. It's getting tough. Anyway, people are bound to find out anyway."

"Bound to find out what?" Sirius appeared in the doorway, and Frank jumped a little.

That Madeline loves you, Remus couldn't help but think.

"N-nothing," Frank shrugged again. "I hate when you do that; come creeping out of the shadows and whatnot."

Sirius threw his bag onto the floor and fell on his bed. "You mean about me and Madeline, right? Good metaphor, Longbottom." The other boys exchanged a glance; Sirius sounded a little ticked off.

"What's wrong?" Remus asked, peering over at his friend.

"Oh, nothing, really," Sirius said nonchalant. "Only that Snape found out about me and Madeline."

The other boys could only gape. Snape finding out something Sirius wanted to keep secret was bad on so many levels, considering it gave the slimy Slytherin the upper hand, amongst other things.

Frank found his voice first. "You're joking."

Sirius only glared at him, then said, turning his head back to watch the dust float in the air above him, "I wouldn't joke about this." Remus thought for a moment Sirius' eyes flickered toward him, and had a secret, subliminal message, but it didn't work. He couldn't be talking about Madeline's claim to...

"You don't...?" Remus began, but then realized he had spoken aloud. The boys looked at him, and Remus shook his head. "Never mind."

Sirius didn't love Madeline back, did he? After all, Remus was kind of skeptical that Madeline really was in love with Sirius; after all, they were only seventeen - what did they know about love? Nothing, he assured himself. Nothing; they don't really love each other; they just think that they do.

He hoped.

Oh, he so desperately hoped...


The Next Morning

Ellen sat, smoothing the folds in the parchment note. She glanced over her shoulder again, waiting. Waiting...

Where is he? She thought, turning back to her parchment. She had nearly memorized it, but took it out to read again:

Ellen -
There is something we have to talk about. Meet me in the courtyard at five tomorrow morning. I know that's early, but we need to talk.

It was from Sirius. That was what confused Ellen the most about the whole, vague note. Well, what confused her the second-most. Her first question was how he got it under her pillow. But she didn't exactly want to think about that.

Ten minutes later - nearly five thirty - Ellen was considering leaving, but then Sirius ran into the courtyard, looking more tired than she could have ever thought possible.

"I'm sorry," he said as he skidded to a halt and threw himself down beside her, panting. "I woke up late. But I'm here."

"Evidently," Ellen grumbled. "What's up?" She asked, brandishing the parchment.

"Oh, yeah, that. Listen...I wanted to talk to you about Madeline."

"Oh." What could he possibly want to talk about, other than Madeline? She should have known.

"Yeah." He ran a hand through his hair. "Listen, I know it's important to you; you know...waiting."

Oh. "Oh," Ellen blushed. Personally, she was not looking forward to having this conversation with Sirius. "Yeah, it is."

"That's why I wanted to tell you first - after James, of course - that we aren't waiting."

Ellen froze. She didn't think she heard right; but perhaps, then again, she had. "You're what?"

"We're...not waiting," Sirius repeated slowly, as if reluctant to put it out in the open. "We're...doing it tonight."