And because a heart of stone cannot break
It doesn't have to remember, that
One time
I gave my heart
My soul
My everything
To the person
Who deserved it all
And so much more.

I would have given anything to them
Had they asked me for it.
I would have cut off my own arm
If it meant preserving their happiness.

I was so certain that life without them
Was not worth living.
That night
They proved me right.

I watched from the sofa
As my father
Came home late.
His face was drawn
His mask held loosely in his hand.
I knew he had returned from
Another of our Master's
Assignments.

One glance
Was all the porvocation
My mother needed
To ask what was wrong

There had been a casualty.
A life had been lost.

My father stared at me
Cold grey eyes unfeeling
But yet he winced in pain as he said
"I'm sorry, son."

No, he wasn't.
he'd never understand
How much they'd meant to me.
He couldn't comprehend
The pain that ripped through me that night
That stays with me to this day
Tearing at my chest,
Scratching at my lungs
Haunting my nightmares.

He had always been
Incapable of love.
He wasn't sorry.
He was clueless.

Anger boiled up
Behind the tears
As day after day
I went without seeing their face
As day after day
I faced the knowledge that I never would again.

Finally it turned my heart cold
Shrouded it in ice
So that I never again had to feel the pain
Of loss.

For many have tried
To break through the barrier
Without success.
As much as I wanted
To trust them,
To free myself
From the chains and
Memories,
I could not.

I wanted this.
This is the safest way
To ensure that I wont
Be hurt any more.

And because a heart of stone,
Cannot break.

But it also,
Cannot love.