She capered to the left, feeling a few hairs singe as another blast of red light rushed towards her. She laughed with the excitement of it all, whirling feverishly through a maze of rubble, light and screams. This was her element, the heat of a proper duel. And the best thing was that she was fighting against the Weasley mother herself!

Here was a pure-blood woman from a respectable family who had decided to live in a hovel with a worthless husband and produce hundreds of children. Happily whiling away her days cleaning up their messes and coddling Harry Potter… Here was a woman who stood for everything she had always abhorred. Here was a woman to be despised. Bellatrix would enjoy watching her die. She would enjoy watching the blood-traitor’s children watching their mother die. Which would be more fun? She wasn’t sure, but she could wait to reserve judgement until after the fact.

Oh, but it was delicious! To fire hex after jinx after Unforgivable at this squat mother, wand and mind inextricably joined in delight and fury, basking in the heat of the hatred pouring off the other. Frumpy little homemaker. She put all her happiness in her family, and now that one of her beloved children was dead and with many more to follow, where would she be? Bellatrix gave a high keen of laughter. I put the laughter in slaughter! she delighted. That was a good joke, worthy of more laughs. And the more she let out this dark humour in her soul, the more it incensed her opponent! It was wonderful. That’s it, let it eat at you! Work harder now in your rage!

The climax was close-approaching, she knew. Death wasn’t a feeling, but more a taste; a sort of rust in the mouth, like a bitten tongue. She opened her arms wide to welcome that darkest of lords, whom all but her own must answer to in the end. She could hear him now, pounding into the Hall, his horses newly shod, striking sparks where their hoofs fell on flagstones.

No…how could she have…? Too late the woman’s mouth open in a fierce scream, forming the familiar words. She saw the green light frothing towards her in a wave. Instinct bypassed understanding, the animal certainty of a sure end. No, no… And now Death came to embrace her outstretched arms…Such a pure green light. Her eyes opened wide, in shock and realisation. It was almost as green as that grass had been, somewhere in memory…

~*~

The field behind Black Manor sloped into a steep hill of bright green, marked here and there by the occasional daisy or dandelion. A little girl, no older than seven, blonde hair flowing freely to her waist, lay at the top of the hill, smile wide, her sister Andromeda sprawled out beside her.

"Join us, Bella!" called Cissy from her place on the ground, happy to be included in Meda’s idea. "It’ll be great, promise."

Bella turned, nose high in the air in a perfect copy of her parents when consorting with inferiors, superbly disdainful. She couldn’t remember why she was against the plan, but now her opinion was firmly set and appearances had to be upheld.

"That’s for babies," she declared. "Silly little babies. And you’re going to get grass stains on your dresses." Narcissa looked down quickly at the flawless white taffeta, horrified at the thought (the Communion dress was her most prized possession), but a gentle tug on her arm from her other sister reminded her that sometimes sacrifices had to be made.

"But it’ll be so fun! If you would just try it," she pleaded once more.

"Hmph," scoffed Bella, crossing her arms in defiance.

"Come on, if she doesn’t want to play it’s her loss, not ours," said Andromeda evenly, unruffled. "On the count of three, then! One…two…three!"

Despite herself, Bella watched with wonder as the two rolled over the lip of the hill, seemingly devoured into its mouth. Smiles slipped off the swirling faces, replaced by matching expressions frozen in fear and shock. Faster and faster and faster until finally they came to an abrupt stop and lay unmoving at the bottom, far below, eyes closed serenely.

They were dead.

A brief sense of satisfaction sliced through Bella as she realised it: There. I told you so. The emotion was immediately eclipsed by an overwhelming panic. Bella shrieked and loped sideways to keep from sliding, painfully slow in her caution, down the hill. ‘Cissy! Meda!’ she screamed, running, when at last it was safe, towards the two little figures. They looked so peaceful, eyes closed forever, tiny hands entwined together…

Suddenly, just as she was going to sink to her knees and clasp them in her shaking arms, both girls jumped up gaily, laughing, merriment dancing in their grey eyes.

"Oh, Bella, don’t be worried!" exclaimed Cissy. "We were just dizzy, that's all! It was really quite marvellous!"

Relief mixed with anger that she had been, if unintentionally, made to look a fool. Jealousy added to the mix as she watched the way they giggled, wishing she could join them but well aware her earlier contempt prevented her from doing so without sacrificing her pride. She struck out.

"That’s not funny!" she yelled. She was pleased to see the smiles disappear: Cissy’s giving way to confusion, Meda’s to a frown of disapproval as she read into Bella’s motives. ‘I thought you were dead!’

"Dead?" repeated Meda. "Why would we be dead?" Bella glared fiercely in a sudden wave of dislike. There was none of the guilt she had hoped to see written on the face of the girl who looked so like herself; only condemnation there. She knew the true reasons for Bella’s fit, and found them petty.

"Fine," growled Bella, pushing past her sister roughly.

~*~

They sat silently at the dining table. This was how it always was, except this time, something floated above them like a dark cloud, shadowing everything they did.

As Bella used her fork to pick a leaf of green lettuce off of her plate, she wondered why her family was affected so. Well, it wasn’t really her whole family - only she, Cissy and Cousin Regulus sat at the table - but they all seemed affected by what had happened that past hour.

Andromeda had left.

But after what Andromeda had said, Bella was glad her sister had departed. She had run off with a Mudblood! There was nothing lower. And to be so closely related to someone who actually wanted to spend time with filth was embarrassing.

Cissy, on the other hand, thought otherwise.

“I cannot believe she’s gone,” Cissy whispered for the hundredth time. Bella couldn’t help but roll her eyes.

“It’s good that she’s gone,” she stated. “She is nothing but a filthy Mudblood-lover.”

Cissy’s head snapped up as if Bella had insulted her, not their sister.

“Meda is our sister! It doesn’t matter who or what she loves!”

“Have Mother and Father taught you nothing?” Bella retorted. “We are the Blacks. The Blacks. We are not Muggle-lovers. We are the purest of blood; the most honourable. I feel ashamed that my sister ran off with a Mudblood! By doing that, she’s dragging our reputation in the dirt. Don’t you care that, if this gets out, we will be looked upon with disgust? Andromeda may well have ruined us!”

“I don’t care what the others think! Meda is our sister; we should stand behind her no matter what she does,” exclaimed Narcissa.

“Well, not me. You can stand behind her, but she’s not dragging me down in the dirt with her,” concluded Bella with conviction.

Silence once again engulfed the table. And Bella felt a wave of satisfaction as Narcissa quickly stood up and ran out of the room. Her family were all turning away from what was right. Sirius, Andromeda, Narcissa… So be it, she thought. She and Regulus would have to be the ones to bring glory back to the family.

~*~

“Bella, I don’t like this. You are getting too involved. Don’t you remember what happened to Regulus?” whispered Narcissa.

“Of course I remember! How could I not?” snapped Bella in irritation.

“I know. But I don’t want to lose you. I know what the Dark Lord has promised, but please remember that you don’t have to go through with this…”

“Why shouldn’t I?” interrupted Bella. “I have tortured before, I’ve killed before. Why is this any different?”



“They’re Order members, Bella. If you go through with it, you’ll be hunted down. There’s no way to hide your identity.”

“I’ll just have to keep them distracted long enough, then, won’t I?” said Bella with a grin. Narcissa looked up at her sister who stood beside her old bed in the Black Manor.

“Please, don’t do this,” pleaded Narcissa. “It will ruin you.”

“No. It won’t ruin me.” Bella stepped towards Narcissa, eyes alight. “Don’t you realise what this opportunity will do for me? The Dark Lord trusts me more than any of his other Death Eaters and, if I complete this task, if I attack the Order, I will be held higher than I could possibly imagine. I will be his most loyal servant!”

Narcissa looked scared, Bella noted. But this didn’t bother her. Cissy had never understood what being a Death Eater meant. Cissy had never understood why she followed the Dark Lord with reverence. The Dark Lord needed Bella. He needed someone to trust, confide in. Bella knew that if she completed this one task, the Dark Lord would look to her as his one and only confidant.

“I have to go, Cissy. It’s nightfall. And don’t worry, once I’m back, we can both go to the Dark Lord and discuss your feelings.” Bella smirked at her sister’s horrified expression before heading out the door.

~*~

“Crucio!” she cried, pointing her wand at one of the two slumped figures before her. Next to her, she heard one of her companions shouting the same spell. A pair of screams echoed around the room, and Bella let a burst of laughter escape her lips. This was as it should be. She had the power, she was the leader. People came and bowed at her feet, desperate to escape punishment, but she never showed mercy. They did not deserve mercy.

“Please,” pleaded the woman lying on the ground before Bella. Bella smirked down at her and raised her wand once more.

“No,” she said calmly. “Not until you tell us everything that you know.”

“But we don’t know anything… Please…”

“Crucio!”

The screams were softer this time, weaker. The two people slumped on the ground were dying. Bella turned to her companions and said, “It’s about time we increased the pain, isn’t it?” The others smirked and Bella turned back to the slumped figures. “I want to see if the rumours are true. Can one possibly survive multiple Cruciatus curses cast simultaneously?”

“Crucio!” cried Bella and her companions in unison. But something was wrong; a different spell was being cast.

“No!” yelled Bella as she quickly turned and pushed the man standing to her right away. They went toppling to the floor and a green curse shot past, singing her black hair.

“You idiot, Crouch! We can’t kill them!” she snarled at the man sprawled under her. “Weren’t you listening to my plan?”

The green of the spell was burnt into her sight, yet she could still see the sheepish-looking man under her.

“Sorry, Bellatrix. I forgot,” he said timidly.

“That’s not good enough!” she hissed, shaking her head in order to get rid of that green glow that had been imprinted in her mind. “If you had killed them, how were we supposed to get information?”

The man smirked and said, “Well, I didn’t kill them.”

Bella jumped up and pointed her wand at Barty.

“You very well could have!” she shrieked.

The green continued to burn in her mind, blinding her. Bella shook her head again, but the memory of that green curse that had come close to hitting her was so vivid… so similar…

What would’ve happened if she had rolled down that hill behind the Black Manor? Would she have felt the wind whipping in her hair? Would she have laughed merrily with her sisters?

Barty was looking up at her with a fearful expression. And he was saying something… she could see his lips moving, but no sound came out…

What would have happened if she had run after Andromeda? Would she have stayed? Would Bella have avoided that argument with Narcissa that inevitably wounded their bond forever?

The green was so bright… speeding towards her… Wait, a flash of ginger. What was that?

What would it have been like if she hadn’t gone and attacked the Order that time? Would she now be in the Dark Lord’s greatest favour? That mission had failed, and she had been punished, but what would the Dark Lord have done had she not gone?

It was hurtling towards her. Soaring.

What if she had never tortured the Longbottoms? Would she have gone to Azkaban? Would her life have been ruined? Or would it have been saved?

Always tagging behind the Dark Lord. Never in the lead…

Would she have lived her life to the fullest?

Would she have been happy?

The light sped towards her, and Bella looked up at the Weasley mother, whose face held an expression of triumph.

It was then that Bella realised that not one person would grieve her death. Not one tear would be shed.

The green was so close; she could feel it burning her skin. She could taste it.

Bella didn’t want her death to be rejoiced. She didn’t want to be remembered just so her memory could be sneered at.

She was still a Black. She was still the same person she had always been. Bella felt disgusted. She had ruined her own life… wasted it. And now it was too…

She was hit by the curse and went flying backwards. Bella arced in the air and fell to the hard ground. A thump sounded and her body came to rest. Bella was dead. She was gone.

And the whole world cheered…