I inhaled the sweet scent of summer, trying to savor it. Vibrant yellow sunflowers and wilted daises were barely visible in the overgrown, dewy grass. The moon pushed the sun farther away from the horizon, creating brilliant hues of red and purple which lit up the vast expanse of sky. A light breeze rustled my caramel-colored hair, whipping it in front of my face. I could hear my younger sister’s laugh from the house, light and whimsical. I was going to miss this: the summer heat, the smell of the town, and the freedom that accompanied not having any classes.

I was somewhat sadly reminded of a poem that my mum used to recite to me when I was younger.

“Nothing gold can stay,” she had whispered to me in her lovely voice, as the snow drifted in white tuffs around us. It was the middle of winter, the last winter before my little sister Avery was born. That was the end of an era in my life, but the dawn of a new one. I had started Hogwarts the following fall.

In some ways, I longed to be nine again. I wanted the never-ending attention and devotion I received from my mother. Though she was not my only friend, she was my best friend. I shared everything with her. She knew exactly what I was thinking because I used to tell her, not editing at all. My view on the world was never harsh, so it never was a problem. It was so much easier when there were no lies; big or small, black or white.

Then again, I didn’t think I would give up my time at Hogwarts for anything. I loved the campus, with the green fields and magnificent castle. I loved the Professors. I loved the spells. Most of all, I loved my mates.

Aiden Darks was my favorite friend and my brother in some aspects. He was much, much taller than me with a thick head of black hair and glasses perched on his straight nose. As a kid, he was a scrawny little thing. His features were too big for his tiny face and body. Though, when he had finally grown into himself, his once comically large eyes and mouth had filled out. In the end, Aiden turned out to be gorgeous. Not that I thought of him that way, it was just hard not notice.

Even with his new following of girls (the type who prefer the good-looking book worm), Aiden remained a loyal mate to me. He spent most of the summer holidays at Arithmacy camp, because he was the most intelligent person on the face of the planet. I had not seen him since June, but I knew what he ate for breakfast at camp and what color socks he would have worn last Tuesday. Our constant correspondence had put some pressure on my black owl, Nightmare (the tiny little thing can barely fly across a Quidditch field without getting winded, and Aiden was across the country!).

Aiden was a pure-blood Ravenclaw. He was brainy and somewhat of a know-it-all; he had read almost every book in the Hogwarts library. Aiden was very fun-loving, with a healthy sense of right and wrong. Not that I let his conscience interfere with my entertainment. As my favorite person in whole world, besides my sister, he frequently risked detention and other unpleasant consequences to indulge me in my somewhat stupid escapades. I thanked the lucky stars everyday for Aiden.

Annamarie, my other mate, was not so easy to describe. Anna had always been shy and somewhat reserved. She’d never been messy or lazy. Recently, her neat and organized ways had been kicked into over-drive. Everything was planned in advance; down to what time she brushed her teeth. All of her clothes were separated by style then color. She’d also lost thirty pounds in one and a half months. Before we left for Hogwarts, she was still on a diet. Annamarie had always been thin and tall, with short black hair and light blue eyes. She’d also always been beautiful. So I became extremely worried when I saw her changing into a deathly skinny, super meticulous version of herself.

At the end of the quarter last year, I confronted her about what I feared was an eating disorder. She vehemently denied it, and became very angry. She threw some of my insecurities back at me, as an attempt to hide her problem. It worked for some time; we didn’t speak for almost week. She finally apologized to me, and admitted she had some issues, through a letter. I took that as a good sign, a sign that she was healing. But I soon discovered that it had been a ploy. Anna still was neurotic about her schedule and about every ounce of food she put in her mouth. Finally, fed up with her bad habits, I told her that I’d write to her mum about the amount of weight she’d lost.

She begged and pleaded with me for days. It wasn’t fun to watch her cry or scream at me. Against my better judgment I told her that I’d give her the summer. If she hadn’t gained a significant amount of weight, then I’d go to our Head of House. I wasn’t going to let her starve to death. Not when I could stop it.

I missed Anna a lot, both the old her and the new her. Unlike Aiden, I hadn’t corresponded with her over the summer. I didn’t know what it would be like when we returned to Hogwarts, but I was hoping it would be better than it was last June. Hopefully, time would have healed her and, consequently, our friendship.

I sighed and lifted myself up from the porch. The screen door clicked behind me as I walked towards the kitchen. My mum was standing by the stove, stirring a pot of soup.

“Cherie, pass me une cuillère.”

I nodded and went off to fetch one of the new spoons my father had bought my mum to commemorate their twentieth wedding anniversary. I thought silverware was pretty pathetic to give as a present, but I had held my tongue at the time. My father hated commentary on his gift-giving skills.

“Here you go,” I said to her, handing her a silver spoon. I then left her in pursuit of Avery.
She wasn’t in any of her normal places: the sitting room, the living room, or the playroom. I was about to call for mum when I heard a stifled giggle coming from my room. Immediately, I headed towards my door.

Flinging it open, I cried, “Boo!” and Avery screamed in delight as I entered. She was sitting on my bed, cross-legged, cradling her stuffed alligator to her chest.

“What are you doing in here, little girl?” I asked, scooping up my six-year-old sister in my arms and started to tickle her. She shrieked and writhed in my embrace, laughing and crying simultaneously.

“I… wanted…to… spend time with….you!” She managed to get some strangled words out in between her cackling. I had mercy on her and set her back down on my bed, next to me.

I waited until her breathing evened out before speaking. “You wanted to spend time with me?” I repeated, a smile playing on my face.

Her beautiful, little lips puckered and she nodded, grabbing my arm and squeezing it. “I don’t want you to go away.”

Avery’s green eyes began to water and she gave a small sniffle. I pulled her onto my lap and played with her curls. “I’ll only be gone for a few months. I’ll be back for the Christmas holidays. And time will go by so fast, you won’t even miss me.”

I could feel her frown; she didn’t believe me. “I swear, Avery. And, if it makes you feel better, I’ll write to you everyday.”

“Promise?” Her voice was full of hope.

I brushed a lock of hair from her face. “I promise. And I’ll send you Honeyduke’s chocolate whenever I can.”

She perked up instantly, and in one blinding motion her arms were around my neck. “Thank you, La!”

I chuckled. “No worries, kid.” I rose from the mattress, and her legs became welded to my waist. Apparently, I was to carry her to dinner. I shifted her to my hip and brought her into the dining room. All the way, she chattered.

“And Mr. Bunny wanted Mrs. All-Igator to come for tea. But she’s married to Mr. All-Igator. And Mr. All-Igator beat Mr. Bunny up! It was so funny!”

Mum had entered the same time we did. While I situated Avery in a chair, I asked her, “Where does this one get all her stories from? Does she really have that active of an imagination?”
Mum grinned and winked at me. She mouthed, “Later,” and took a seat next to Avery. I rolled my eyes at her. Sometimes having a beautiful mum was more eventful than one would think.

My mum had long, wavy caramel hair that stopped at her waist. Her frame was tiny, she weighed only about ten pounds more than I did. Her eyes, like Avery’s, were wide and a light shade of green. She had bone structure even a model would envy. Her high cheekbones were always highlighted by a respectable amount of blush. The only feature of my mum’s that I did not covet was her thin lips. They were always painted red, but were never anything impressive.

I had the same color hair as my mum and sister, but mine was pin straight and cut just above my shoulders. Unlike the other females in my house, I had inherited my dad’s flat brown eyes (though I had my mum’s cat-like shaped eyes). I was very thin, due to the fact that I was born without taste buds. Food didn’t have any appeal to me, really, when I could not taste it. I could tell the difference in temperature and texture, but besides that, no other distinctions could be made. My weight was somewhat fitting to my short frame, but to my displeasure, it made me tiny all around. My chest was a small, pathetic bump. Despite my iron-board torso, I liked how I looked. I was pretty, yes, but not beautiful. I liked it that way, though, because if I learned to depend on my looks to get by I’d have nothing left when they dried up.

“Daddy’s working late tonight, girls. But he’ll be with us to drop you off tomorrow, Adele,” my mum told us, when Avery and I began looking around for Dad.

“Oh, okay,” I said, slightly annoyed. My dad was never around for dinner. I realized that he had a demanding job, being an Auror and all, but he was never home. I’d never been a Daddy’s girl, but I did love him a lot. When I didn’t see him, I missed him loads. I figured I’d see more of him this summer, but I should be used to disappointment by now.

As if she could read my mind, my mother said, “He tried really hard to be here, baby, but if he has to take tomorrow off �“”

“I know, I know,” I cut her off, and put a spoonful of soup in my mouth. It was hot but it felt good going down my throat. I slurped down the whole bowl before I excused myself to my room. After giving my mum and sister a kiss on the forehead, I went to my bed and flopped out.

I had gotten all my packing done the night before and I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep. I could never sleep the day before a new year at Hogwarts. I had set aside some sleeping potion for this occasion, and took the vial out of my nightstand. I crawled under my covers and downed the liquid in one sip. It was ice cold.

Sleep came on fast and deep, I was out before I could put the vial back in my stand.

*

“Adele, are you even listening to me?” Aiden demanded, waving his hand in front of face. I looked up at him, confused.

“Oh, yeah. Of course.” It was a bold-faced lie; I hadn’t been listening. He could tell.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, concerned.

I bit my lip. “There really isn’t anything wrong. It’s just…Regulus.”

Aiden raised his bushy, black eyebrows. “Regulus? As in Regulus Black?”

I nodded. “Yes. Well remember how last year, he saved me from his friends?”

Aiden’s eyes narrowed. Yes, he remembered. Last year, when I had been walking from Potions class I was attacked by some Slytherins in my year. They liked to pick on me because of my father’s occupation and because I was a pathetically tiny Gryffindor. They had stolen my wand and books when Regulus came along. He had scolded them and returned my things to me. It seemed like a weird exchange between him and his fellow house mates, but I wasn’t going to question it. He had walked me back to the Gryffindor Tower, and ever since, we’d had a strange sort of friendship. We’d never really talked since that day, but we would always smile at each other in the halls.

“Well, I said ‘Hullo!’ to him but he ignored me.” My displeasure was evident in the tone of my voice.

Aiden snorted. “That’s what you’re upset about? He’s a Slytherin, love. What do you expect?”

I frowned at him. “He’s never acted like one though. He’s always been kind to me. It doesn’t seem like him.”

The train jerked forward, and I fell into Aiden’s lap because he was sitting right across from me. We instantly righted ourselves. I didn’t like the expression on Aiden’s face. He honestly seemed bothered that I was troubled by Regulus’s rudeness.

“You know you guys aren’t friends, right La?” The look in his eyes made me feel like I was mental.

“Why aren’t we?” I asked him.

“Because Regulus hangs out with a different crowd. A dark crowd. He’d not only resent you for your parentage, but for your Dad’s job. The Aurors aren’t exactly his friends.”

“So, he can’t be friends with me because I’m a half-blood and because Daddy works for the Ministry?” I rolled my eyes. “That seems like pretty poor logic, Aiden.”

Aiden sighed. “Poor but true. You aren’t mates with him. So just try to forget it, okay?”

“All right,” I agreed, only to please him. I wasn’t planning on forgetting it, though. Regulus had been friendly to me before, and now I was determined to prove Aiden wrong. I would become good mates with Regulus - partly to be able to throw it in Aiden’s face, and partly because I really did like him. He had been sweet to me. I didn’t easily forget things like that.


*


The hour before the feast was unofficial ‘attack your mates with hugs’ time. All of the girls giggled and squealed, talking over each other trying to relate stories of passionate summer romances to one another. The guys weren’t as enthusiastic with their greetings, but their excited chatter filled the room just the same.

When I arrived in my dorm, everybody except Annamarie was there. I barely had time to register this fact, however, because the second I walked in I was attacked by my three other dorm mates.

“La! How was your summer?” Catie Lyons asked me when she let go.

I shrugged. “It was all right. How about you?”

Catie flipped back her long, black locks. “Great! My parents took me on holiday to Peru. It was incredible! And it was so bloody hot! But without the humidity. My hair loved the change from sunny ole England’s climate.”

She laughed sweetly; I smiled in return. Catie had beautiful, shimmery ebony skin that contrasted greatly with her white teeth. She was very tall, almost as tall as Anna, but not as thin. Catie was healthy, with curves in all the right places. I was jealous as I was flat as a board.

“Catie always goes on incredible holidays. I go absolutely nowhere,” Jessie complained, throwing Catie an envious look. Out of all my roommates, Jessie got on my nerves the most.

She was constantly complaining or yelling, she was a living, breathing symptom of Pre Menstrual Syndrome. If I got in her way, I would be plowed down. I mean that in two senses, both literally and metaphorically. She was several sizes larger than me, with a plait of long red hair, and could easily knock me down. She had also been known to sabotage people in her efforts to be the best. Jessie burned our other roommate’s essay, Rose’s, because it was two pages longer than hers. They were both entering Professor Flitwick’s Charmed Essay Constant. Because Rose was knocked out of the running, Jessie won. It was a severe injustice that I wanted to report but Rose told me not to. It would only cause Jessie to have a vendetta against me; that wasn’t worth a title to Rose.

Rose, to me, seemed like the true Gryffindor of the House. Unlike Jessie (who I felt should have been sorted into Slytherin), Rose had both physical and moral courage. She would always do the right thing, even if it was wrong for her personally. The whole essay contest was just one example. She’d always stand up to people who were bigger than her, she rallied people for obscure causes, and she was kind to people who were unkind to her.

Turning to Rose, I asked, “Do you know where Anna is?”

She shrugged, pulling at her cardigan. “Umm… She was here about ten minutes ago. I think she left to go find you, actually.”

“Did she say where she was going to be?”

“No,” Catie answered “but she looked very anxious. Is everything okay with her?”

I sighed sadly. “I don’t know. I’m going to go look for her. I’ll see you at the feast later, okay?”

They all murmured their yes’s and okay’s as I walked out of the room.

After I pushed my way down the stairs and through the common room, I stopped for a moment to catch my breath. Then I pushed on to the grounds. It was the only place Anna could be as the library was closed.

She wasn’t at her usual place by the lake or on the grassy knoll near the entrance. I finally found her sitting below a tree near the Gamekeeper’s cabin. She had her eyes closed, with her thin arms wrapped around her thin knees. I was instantly displeased; she looked even more bony than I remembered.

I knelt down so that I was at her height. I shook her lightly on the shoulder while quietly saying her name.

In an instant, she opened her brilliant blue eyes. I could see the tears dripping out of them. Her expression became horrified the second she saw me, but she controlled it quickly. A sardonic smile graced her scarily beautiful face.

“Oh, it’s you. Long time, no see, mate. Missed you, I did.”

The sarcastic edge to her voice was not lost on me. I was stunned; what had happened to my friend?

“Annie, what’s wrong?” I demanded, not knowing how else to reply. I was hurt and scared. This harsh-looking girl was not the Anna I had known, not even back in June.

“What’s wrong?” she repeated, raising a meticulously plucked eyebrow. “You’re going to have me sent away to bloody mental hospital, and you wonder what’s wrong?”

The hostility rang loud and clear in her words. It made me nervous. “I never said I was going to do that. I said you need to gain some weight, and if you don’t I was going to tell someone.”

She laughed, a tart sound that stung my ear. “And once you’ve told someone, where do you think I’ll go? I’ve spent my whole holiday agonizing about this, Adele!”

Anna glared at me, but I could see the wild fear behind the expression. Anger was her new defense mechanism.

“You don’t look any better.” The words came out softer than I intended them.

“You don’t know anything,” she retorted, bitterness saturating her voice. “Are you going to tell on me?” she asked a moment later, her tone more placid.

I looked her over. Her skeletal frame was hunched in a ball, so I couldn’t see much. Her breast bone and collar bones jutted out painfully. Her arms and legs had less mass than sticks. Anna’s once bony face was now just plainly emaciated. I knew I should tell somebody immediately; she was obviously past the point of merely unhealthy.

But when I looked into her eyes, I knew I couldn’t do it. She was so scared, so petrified that I wanted to wrap my arms around her and protect her. I knew she needed help but I couldn’t be the one to make all her nightmares come true.

“No, I won’t.” I regretted saying it as soon as it came out of my mouth. Anna’s whole body relaxed in relief and a genuine grin appeared on her face. She instantly unfurled herself, and threw her arms around my neck.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” she cried, squeezing me. I was uncomfortable in her bony grip. I pushed her away, so we were face to face.

“We’re going to talk a lot about this though, okay? I’m going to try to help you get better.” I knew that Anna’s nod was just to placate me. With surprising swiftness she was on her feet, pulling me with her.

“Let’s go to the feast,” she practically sang, and started to skip towards the castle. I followed behind her, disturbed by how much the idea of professional help had haunted her. I was already sorry I had let her off the hook. I had done the easy thing, not the right thing.

But looking at my friend, and the joy on her face, I knew that even Rose would have had a hard time turning her in. Right?

*

The first weeks of September passed by rather quickly. I found it was easy to get back into the routine of classes, magic, and friends. Anna had surprisingly been making a little progress. She didn’t eat as much as I’d like her to, but I didn’t think she threw anything up anymore. That was a big hurdle, right there. She also seemed to be getting some confidence back. She recently confided to me about a new crush she had.

“He’s really smart and good-looking, La. I think he might like me, too,” Anna had whispered to me one day after Potions. She had been looking with lustful eyes at the bloke who sat next to Aiden, Randy Smithers.

“You two would make a cute couple,” I said, though she hadn’t told me it was Randy. Sometimes, a girl just knew.

“Wouldn’t we?” I could tell Anna didn’t really hear what I had said, she had uncharacteristically dreamy look on her face.

While my situation with Anna had gotten better, some things had gotten worse. For reasons unknown to me I was always getting to my classes late. Including right then, because Charms had started five minutes ago.

My textbooks tugged at the seams of my bag, threatening to split it in two. I groaned. Taking my wand out of my pocket, I tried to reinforce the biding on my book carrier. I was rushing, so it wasn’t surprising when my spell had the opposite effect. The bag ripped in two, spilling all my personal items on the floor.

I swore in French, getting down on my knees to pick up the mess I had made.

“Need some help?” said a voice from behind me. I looked up, startled. Regulus Black smiled timidly as he waited for my answer.

Flustered, it took me a moment to reply. “Oh yes, that would be… uh …lovely, thanks.”

He seemed amused for a moment before bending over to help stack my books. I repaired my bag while he picked up after me and together we piled everything in.

Regulus, whose posture had become erect in impeccable time, offered me his hand. I took it, grateful.

“Thank you,” I said, rather shyly.

He grinned. “No problem. It’s always my pleasure to help out lovely witches.”

I blushed, pink spreading across my pale cheeks.

Regulus went to turn around, but something made him pause. He looked at me for a second, a look of contemplation on his handsome face. I figured he reached his conclusion when he asked, “There’s a Hogsmeade trip the first weekend in October. I was wondering if you might want to go with me?”

He didn’t sound as confident as he did a moment ago. He might have been nervous; internally, I beamed at the thought that I could possibly have that effect on him.

“Sure,” I replied, “I’d love too.”

The corners of his mouth turned up. “Great! I’ll talk to you about it in Arithmancy later.”

“Yeah, okay.” The conversation had taken a slightly awkward tone. I gave him a small smile and hurried off in the direction I had been heading.

Professor Flitwick wasn’t as angry as I’d thought he’d be when I arrived to class ten minutes after he had started. When I walked in, he had simply gestured with his head to sit down.

I fell into my seat, relieved. I took out a quill and some parchment, then proceeded to take notes diligently. My mind went on auto-pilot as I did. I was very happy to be going with Regulus to Hogsmeade. I couldn’t wait to tell Aiden, he hated being wrong about things. I was also curious about Regulus’s intentions. It seemed like he wanted a date, so maybe he hadn’t heard me that day back on the train when I said hello to him. We had always been friendly before, so it must have been a fluke. I was glad; I really liked him.

I let my thoughts drift to Regulus’s grin and our conversation as Professor Flitwick went on with his lecture. My system was full of excitement; I couldn’t wait for October to come.