Xenophilius thought that Luna Sol was the most beautiful woman in the world; so beautiful, in fact, that they were getting married at this very moment. He wasn’t paying attention to any of the words that the pastor was saying, but was instead staring into Luna’s eyes, which were a bright sky blue; her pale blonde hair was like spun gold, and she was slender.

They were getting married outside on Halloween night. There was a beautiful full moon, and rays of moonlight enveloped the hill where the wedding was taking place.

They were holding hands and the pastor was saying, “Do you, Xenophilius Lovegood, take Luna Sol…” when seemingly out of nowhere a piercingly cold wind blew, and they saw a swarm of Dementors streaming up the hill.

As the wind gusted over them, Xenophilius felt like he would never be happy again. He knew how Dementors worked, and he knew every single person on the hilltop would be feeling the same way. Even Luna didn’t look happy, and Xenophilius didn’t like it when Luna was sad. He knew the only way to deal with Dementors was to conjure a Patronus.

So he started to think of his happiest memory. He thought of when he and Luna first met.

It was at a party that one of his friends was throwing. He had seen her at the back of the room all by herself. He had gone over to her and said, “Want to see what a Crumple-Horned Snorkack looks like?”

All she did was laugh and say, “No, thank you. I already know what a Crumple-Horned Snorkack looks like.” And to his surprise she was holding that month’s issue of the Quibbler.

Then he thought of their first date. They had been on Madam Puddifoot’s outside porch.

“Look at that moon,” Luna said. “I’ve always liked to look at the moon. When I was a little girl I would make a wish, hoping one day it would come true.”

“Did any of your wishes ever come true?” Xenophilius asked.

“Yeah, one did,” she said, looking at him with glowing eyes.

Being his stupid guy self, Xenophilius asked, “Which one?”

And she answered, “You, silly!”

Then he thought of their first kiss. It happened near a musty bar called the Hog’s Head.

“I’m sorry I chose to come here. I know you don’t like it here now.” said Xenophilius, looking like he was about to throw up.

“Don’t worry, Xenny, it’s not all that bad,” lied Luna. She was about to throw up herself, but she didn’t want Xenophilius to feel bad.

“Come on, let’s leave,” he said, and they did just that.

On the way back to Hogsmeade, they talked about everything from the Quibbler to Quidditch when, out of nowhere, Xenophilius said, “I love you, Luna!”

In answer, Luna kissed him.

Finally, Xenophilius thought of the night he proposed.

It had been Christmas night. They had finished opening presents and eating dinner, and had settled down by the roaring fire. He had said, “I think there is one more gift.”

And he walked to the tree, pulled off an ornament that opened up, handed it to her and said those four wonderful words: “Will you marry me?”

Luna had burst into tears, and said, “YES!”

Xenophilius thought any of these memories wouldn’t be enough on its own, but if they were all put together they would be just right.

And so he thought of all those memories at the same time and yelled, “Expecto Patronum!”. The silvery form of a platypus appeared, swimming through the air. As he was fighting off one of the Dementors, he saw a silver hippogriff charging towards another Dementor. He looked back to see that the Patronus belonged to Luna.

All she said was, “I love you, Xenny!”

“I love you too!” cried Xenophilius, and they continued to fight off the Dementors.

When the wedding party had finished off the Dementors, the hilltop was completely trashed: chairs were scattered everywhere and the decorations were all torn up, but thankfully with magic, everything was put back to rights in a few minutes.

After everything and everyone were back in place, Xenophilius said, “Sorry for the short interruption, but it will take more than Dementors to stop this wedding. Now let’s get married!”

And the pastor started where he had left off.

“Do you, Xenophilius Lovegood, take Luna Sol as your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, so long as you shall live?”

“I do,” said Xenophilius.

“Do you, Luna Sol, take Xenophilius Lovegood to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, so long as you shall live?”

“I do,” said Luna.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”

And to everyone’s surprise, Luna started the kiss.

“May I be the first to announce Mr. and Mrs. Xenophilius Lovegood!” the pastor finished.