“Conturbo!�

Sheelin hit the hardened earth with a dull thud, wincing at the impact. She rubbed her arms absentmindedly, too preoccupied to really be concerned about the sudden cold and springing goose bumps. Wordlessly, Sheelin twisted into a sitting position, her hands groping for familiarity. Nothing. Her fingers clutched the air, swiping it uselessly. Realizing her efforts were futile, Sheelin raised herself from the ground uncertainly, her pounding heart canceling out her shaking legs. Completely vulnerable in the dark, she squinted in hopes of finding some way out of here… wherever here was.

Sheelin forced herself to move, each foot landing on the soil with a rather abhorrent noise that echoed and bounced back, infuriating and doubling the pains already residing in her head. She cringed at the sound. The sickly noise gradually became more and more apparent, and Sheelin realized with horror that it was not her own clumsy, down trodden feet, but a putrid crunching that left behind a strange, undesirable odor. She folded her arms over her chest protectively, tears pooling in her eyes, quickly spilling out and running down her ashen cheeks. Sheelin was mashing her way through thousands of bugs. She choked out a cry as she whirled around and began running in the opposite direction, not caring where it might take her.

Her footsteps and thoughts provided a monotonous pattern of unanswered questions and revolting responses.

Why? Sheelin thought miserably.

Crunch.

Why me?

Crunch.

What could I have done?

Crunch…

It could have been hours or perhaps even mere minutes, but soon Sheelin’s resolve crumbled, her heaving and panting chest pleading with her feverishly aching legs to slow down. The idea was so appealing and her body was weak to the temptation. No sooner had Sheelin lowered her body to the ground in defeat, not caring that she was sentencing herself to death, then a blinding light snapped on. Her eyes, which had become quite accustomed to the dark, were rendered useless by the sudden appearance of the magnificent light. Sheelin’s dry lips mumbled something she did not understand. She wet them, cleared her throat rather crudely and began again.

“Help,� someone whispered. The voice was hoarse and gravelly. Sheelin knew it could not be hers, but yet…

“Help!� The voice screeched. And Sheelin then knew it was really her; Sheelin’s body screaming what her feeble mind could not. She rasped some more, waiting for a reply that would never come and—

“A glass of water?� a devilishly smooth and appealing voice inquired. Sheelin blindly searched for it, too shocked and overwhelmed with anticipation for formality. Her thirst seemed unquenchable but, still, she so desperately wanted it.

“Please.� She made a whimpering sound much like a puppy and could feel her cheeks flame in mortification. It was in her hands within that second. The cool glass felt exceptionally consoling against the burning palms of Sheelin’s hands. She raised it to her cracked lips, greedily sucking in the liquid. And just like the light had snapped on from seemingly nowhere, so did her vision.

Only now did Sheelin think to turn and face the kind stranger. She nearly choked with pleasure. How had this nightmare so easily turned into a fantasy? He had a beautiful face, as if carved from fine clay and brought to life like Pandora.

Sheelin took his outreached hand and stumbled back to reality. A foreign feeling trickled through her. Hope?

She was in a rather dank and drafty cell. The walls were covered in some kind of putrid moss and there were no windows. Only bars. Sheelin was crushed as she remembered where she was, why she was here.

Well, no, no hope then, she thought bitterly. But then who…

“You!� Sheelin heard herself cry, accusing the young man with ebony hair. She sprang away from him and pressed herself into the furthest corner. It did not matter that she did not know him, and in any other situation, reason might have outweighed instinct. Here it didn’t matter. All of them, with their blasphemy, replacing all of the good in the Wizarding and Muggle world with evil, were the enemy.

He edged closer to her. There appeared to be no malicious or dastardly intent in his eyes. But, they… those Death Eaters… they had proven to be quite good at concealing their true motives, and Sheelin would not be fooled. No one had placed a hand on her yet. She was not about to allow it to happen now. Even though she was unarmed and, in this condition, she couldn’t put up much of a fight, she would not give in. They preferred to do their dirty work through torturous spells. No doubt they had been trying something new on her. It had been too real, though…

Sheelin abruptly erupted into sobs. She could hear herself moaning and her body was throbbing with pain. Hadn’t enough been inflicted on her already? What did this strange man – well, boy – want? Perhaps she should have been humiliated. But for the first time in months, she felt human. Sheelin had numbed herself to horrors and somehow, she had broken into her own sheltered walls. For a long time, her long, drawn screams had been her sole companion.

Sheelin shook herself from this reverie as the impending footsteps drew nearer and nearer. She readied herself.

“Get away from me, please!� Sheelin begged.

“I don’t think you understand,� he prompted gently. His grey eyes looked truly alarmed at her behavior. Good.

“Stay away,� she hissed.

His eyes darkened and his expression took on one of deep concentration. He wasn’t going anywhere. Well, neither was she. Not with him.

“I can help you,� he insisted. He held up his hands. Right, as if that proved his innocence. Sheelin glared in response.

“I see this isn’t working… I only have so much time.� He shook his head in impatience. And in one swift movement, he had pulled his wand out and flicked it fluidly, all before Sheelin had time to scream her protests.

*

Sheelin awoke to a pounding headache and a dry throat. She rubbed her eyes and didn’t even bother concealing a sigh of contentment. Her body was enveloped in warmth and she could feel a cozy bed beneath her, supporting her aching body. Sheelin wanted to move, wanted to stretch, but she found she couldn’t. She was stiff and felt feverish. She was too comfortable to care how she had ended up…

And another fit of tears came about. Sheelin could not dispel the drudging fear that was so strongly welled in her heart. She felt cool hands press against her forehead in an attempt to calm her and found a few tissues in her hands. Sheelin heard mumbling voices that were too distant to truly distinguish.

Sheelin gladly sank back into her unconsciousness.

*

This time when Sheelin awoke, she was completely alone. She was able to open her eyes and her body, for the most part, did not hurt. She slowly tumbled out of the bed, her legs a little wobbly from being bed-ridden. Her feet were greeted with the smooth hardwood floors. The room in which she had slept was practically bare. The walls were a plain shade of beige and there was a single mirror hanging from them with a few dressers and, furthest from the bed, was a door.

Sheelin tentatively stepped in front of the mirror, not sure what to expect. She found herself staring into the eyes of a stranger. They were dull but still contained the same colour. Her chestnut hair hung lifeless and dirty on her cheeks and all color was drained from her face. She looked a mess. Sheelin signed, disheartened. This girl was a far cry from the person she had once been.

Sheelin returned to the bed and stared off idly, not sure what to do. She wasn’t quite sure where she was. But, shivering, she reminded herself that it was much better in comparison to the place she had inhibited for the past few months.

The slow creaking of the opening door alarmed her and she jumped in confusion and fright.

The young woman that came in, carrying what seemed to be a bowl of soup, appeared just as startled. She nearly dropped the tray but composed herself and advanced, setting down the bowl on a dresser.

“Sheelin?� Her soft lips parted in a question.

“Yes, Sheelin…� It was odd to hear her name spoken aloud.

“I’m Alice.� The girl smiled shyly and tilted her head slightly. “I was just bringing you this… I didn’t… I wasn’t… do you need anything else?�

“No,� Sheelin whispered.

“I’m sure you have a lot of questions. But I can’t answer them. I’ll have to take you to Dumbledore… I’ve only just gotten here and I already have to leave on another… well, it doesn’t matter,� Alice finished unsurely.

“Dumbledore? Here?� Sheelin perked. Though it seemed like an eternity, the name Albus Dumbledore had always instilled hope in her. Sheelin had attended Hogwarts and had been in her Sixth Year as a Ravenclaw when it had all occurred… It was hard to recall anything from the shadows that were constantly casting over her mind.

“Yes.� Alice shook her head happily. A soothing voice broke in.

“Alice, perhaps, ah, I may speak to Miss Delegade alone?� He looked exactly as Sheelin had remembered. His blue eyes still twinkled kindly even in such dark times, and she appreciated that time had not changed his disposition.

Alice simply nodded and slipped out of the room, flitting off.

“I suppose you are wondering where you are. Though I cannot reveal this to you, I assure you, you are under the utmost care and security. Perhaps you would like to know something else?�

“Why?� Truthfully, that was all Sheelin was wondering. She did not understand, not any of it.

“If you remember, Miss Delegade, you were once a very intelligent student at Hogwarts. I remember fondly your gift for Potions.�

“That alone…?�

“No, I’m afraid. If you’ll also remember, your father was working in the Department of Mysteries.�

Old haunts, long buried, came to the surface. Death Eaters. Her home destroyed. A broken family. Her father dead. The horrified shrieks of her mother as she was carried off… Her own capture. The hours waiting for someone to come. Thoughts of never seeing her family or mates again. Things she already knew.

“My mother?�

A sad gaze confirmed what Sheelin had already guessed. She was alone.

Dumbledore turned to the door and paused before exiting.

“If you’ll remember this, too, long before any of those events took place, you had expressed interest in a certain Order of the Phoenix. Welcome, Miss Delegade.� He winked and was gone.

*

Though she had only been staying here a few weeks, Sheelin had picked up quite a few names. There was Alice and Frank, who were gone quite a lot, Lily and James, whom were also always on missions, Caradoc and Edgar, whom Sheelin had only heard of and never actually met, and many others, such as Dorcas, Marlene and the Prewetts. In fact, Sheelin was sure there were plenty of members whom she might never be acquainted with.

She supposed it didn’t matter much anyway. Sheelin, herself, was always busy. She was constantly bustling about with her ingredients and cauldron, making whatever potions had been requested. It kept her mind occupied and she barely ever strayed to the deeper thoughts her mind contained. Sheelin preferred the solitude. She was not yet ready to trust and open herself to everyone.

Sheelin was, once again, at work, this time with a simple healing potion, when a rather harried Marlene came rushing in.

“Sheelin, do you have any blood-replenishing potion? I can manage a few healing charms fine.�

“Bloody hell!� A muffled voice shouted.

“Quick!� Marlene shouted. Sheelin racked the cupboards and pulled out a rectangular vile.

“Here.�

“Oh, just come with, please.�

Sheelin and Marlene hurriedly made their way upstairs where the ruckus was located. Sheelin almost dropped the vile at the sight of them. The two of them, to be exact. At first glace, they looked identical. But as Sheelin handed off the bottle to Marlene, the differences became apparent. The one who had a look of pride and self-assurance was slightly bigger in build than the latter, who was sitting silently as Marlene rushed through the charms. He looked indifferent to the pain, which surprised Sheelin. They both had the same stormy grey eyes, though there was a certain darkness in the younger’s.

As Marlene hastily bandaged him, the older one eagerly turned to her.

“Sirius Black,� he introduced himself enthusiastically. Marlene rolled her eyes. He shook out his shaggy hair and grinned.

“Sheelin Delegade,� she grinned back. His mood was infectious. “Black, you say? Gryffindor, yeah?�

“Yeah.�

“Erm, Sirius, what exactly happened?� Marlene asked appraisingly.

“Marlene, mate, you know I can’t tell you,� Sirius teased doggedly.

“Sirius, you do realize that all you had to do was patrol? You weren’t even supposed to be fighting.�

“Malfoy,� the smaller Black spoke for the first time. “He was trailing us.�

“And that’s how you received that bugger?� Marlene’s eyes directed to the gash in his leg.

He nodded.

Suddenly, Sirius had become attentive.

“Regulus, you better get back soon. We can’t keep having these run-ins in public anymore. It’s not safe.�

Regulus and Sirius, Sheelin mused.

“I know. Malfoy will be on about how he almost caught Black and his accomplice.� He seemed to find this amusing and smirked.

Sirius and Regulus both exchanged glances and were out the door at once.

*

With the holidays approaching, the need for protection and help became greater and greater, and the activity in the headquarters increased drastically. Frazzled members darted about and there was never a shortage of requests.

Sheelin’s growing curiosity about the Black brothers could not be doused. She remembered Sirius now and had heard a great deal about him from listening to James, Remus, Peter and Lily talk, but she was really more interested in Regulus.

He was always quite silent when he stopped by. Sheelin realized that working for the Order and pretending to serve Voldemort must be taxing. When he stared off, even just for a second, his smoldering eyes burned with something that Sheelin could not place. She felt both enticed and disconcerted by his presence.

*

It was Christmas Eve and Sheelin had no reason to be at the Headquarters. But where else could she go? She had no family any longer and imposing on friends seemed wrong. She was alone again. The tranquility and stillness of the house was unusual. Sheelin was used to the activity and clatter that contributed to a typical day.

Sheelin busied herself with a new potion she had been experimenting with. The consistency was a bit off. As she added different ingredients it began to change from a light blue to a deep charcoal. She frowned. It seemed a bit too bubbly. As Sheelin reached for something to neutralize the potion, she tripped, knocking over the cauldron.

“Fuck!� she exclaimed. The dark, odorless goop oozed all over the floor.

A dark chuckle came from the doorway. “Scourgify,� Regulus commanded. The mess was gone. He walked into the room leisurely, his eyes fixed on her.

“Thanks,� Sheelin said bashfully, not lifting her eyes.

“What exactly are you doing here?� He inquired.

“Working.�

“I see.� He lifted his eyebrows, the mocking in his tone evident.

Sheelin’s eyes snapped up. “Well, I was doing just fine, thanks.�

“Oh, I could tell you were.� Regulus’ lip twitched.

“Anyway, I’ve been meaning to talk to you. I wanted to thank you.� Sheelin blushed again.

“For what?� Regulus’ face was stoic.

“I know it was you,� Sheelin accused him gently.

His eyes flickered over her face. “You’re welcome,� he breathed. He looked as though he loathed the idea of her knowing. Knowing that it was him who had saved her. However, she became quite distracted as a floating leaf drifted overhead.

“Mistletoe.� Sheelin pointed up, smiling.

“Incendio!�

Sheelin snorted, peals of laugher coming from her. “I’m sorry, did you really just do that?�

“Sheelin, I don’t need an excuse to kiss you.�

As their lips met, Sheelin felt that persistent feeling of hope. Maybe it did exist after all.