The quiet sound of the door closing echoed through her like the sound of a death toll. In that instant, Nymphadora Tonks Lupin knew what she must do. She glanced down at the sleeping baby cradled in her arms, and then back at the closed door.

She was a mother, yes, and a wife, but she was also an Auror and a member of The Order of the Phoenix. There was a part of her that longed to listen to Remus and stay safe in her mother’s home. But the other part of her, the part that took control when the door closed behind her husband, knew what she had to do. She had to fight.

Fight alongside her friends and family who were even now defending the Wizarding world against Voldemort. She had to fight in memory of her lost family and friends, for her father, for Sirius, for Mad-Eye and everyone else who had been killed trying to make this a safer world for everyone.

Turning, she carefully walked up the stairs and into Teddy’s nursery. She placed a gentle kiss on Teddy’s forehead before laying him in his cot. She watched him sleep for a few moments, before whispering, “I have to do this. I have to make sure you are protected.”

She walked silently and quickly from the room and into the guest bedroom she shared with Remus when they stayed here. She immediately went to the desk and pulled two pieces of parchment out of the drawer.

As she dipped the quill into the ink, she thought about what Remus had told her before he left.

“Dora, please, you have to understand. I need to go but I need to know you and Teddy are safe.” He held up a hand to stop her flow of protest. “If something should happen to me…” He wrapped his arms more firmly around her while looking down into her eyes. “If something should happen to me, I left a letter for Teddy with your mother. Dora, I love you and this past year has been the best of my life, but I have to do this.” He bent down and kissed her gently before striding out the door.

Tonks knew if he left a letter for Teddy, then it stood to reason he left one for her, too. She was going to do the same. But, how do you say goodbye and put a lifetime of love into a simple letter?

As she stared at the blank sheet of parchment, frustration welled up inside her. Her son could possibly grow up without ever knowing his parents. If she did this, she may never see him again. But if she didn’t and something happened to Remus…

Taking a deep breath, she began to write.

My darling Teddy,
I know you may never understand why I couldn’t do as your father asked and stay here safe with you. How could leave you alone? Teddy, right now, two of the people I love most in this world are right here in this house. However, everyone else I love is at Hogwarts fighting make this world safe for you. Your daddy left here tonight to go fight to protect you. What kind of a mother would I be if I didn’t go and do what I can to protect you, too?

If you are reading this, then I never returned from the battle. For that, I am sorry. I never meant to leave you alone. But, you will not be alone. Hopefully, your father made it back to you. But even if he didn’t, then you have your grandmother and you have Harry. At least, I pray you have Harry.

I wish I could put into words all the thoughts and feelings that are going through my mind right now. There are so many things I want to tell you; how your hair started changing colours almost at birth, why you are more than likely clumsy. That would be from me. I can’t walk across a bare floor without tripping over my own two feet.

Teddy, my darling son, carry with you the knowledge that I love you and I will always be watching over you. I am doing this for you so you will not have to grow up in a world full of fear. Please, don’t hate me for leaving you. I already hate myself enough for both of us.

I love you,
Mummy

Sitting back in the chair, Tonks wiped the tears from her face. Would her son ever forgive her? Would he ever understand? Carefully, she folded the parchment and sealed it with her wand. Then wrote Teddy’s name on the parchment. Taking another deep breath, she began the letter to Remus.

Remus,
If you are reading this, then you survived. I am so happy for that. I only ask you not to grieve for me. Teddy needs you. Please raise our son to be like his father: a wonderful honourable man. One who I was proud to say was my husband.

Please try to understand why I came to Hogwarts. I had to. I had to protect what I love. It is what I was trained to do. But, even if I wasn’t trained, I would have still gone. Do not blame yourself. There was nothing you could have said to keep me from fighting for those I love.

Remember always, I love you. I will be watching over you and Teddy.

I love you,
Dora

As she finished this letter, there were no more tears, just a fierce determination to protect. Sealing the letter, she then added Remus’ name to it. She opened the drawer again, and pulled out one more sheet of parchment out and wrote a letter to her mother.

Mum,
I am sorry. I needed to go to Hogwarts. I have to go and fight for what is right. Please take care of Teddy. Should I not return, give him the letter I am leaving for him. Should Remus return, and I pray he does, give him the letter I wrote for him.

Should neither of us return, please give Teddy the letter I wrote to Remus when he is old enough to understand.

Teddy is yours should anything happen to both of us. Harry is his godfather and I am sure he will help you in any way you need. He will be good for Teddy. I am sure Teddy will need someone who understands what it is like to lose your parents at such a young age.

Please understand, this is not an easy thing to write, just as I am sure it is not an easy thing for you to read. Except for you and Teddy, everyone I love will be fighting tonight and I must go and fight beside them. You raised me to do what is right and Mum, this is what is right.

I love you,
Dora

Though she knew Teddy would sleep through the night, she knew she would have to tell her mum she was leaving in case he should wake up. Taking the three letters, she walked downstairs and placed them on the kitchen table. She knew her mother would find them there in the morning.

Going back to her room, she changed out of her nightclothes and into jeans and a jumper. As she placed her wand in her back pocket, she couldn’t help but chuckle remembering the day Alastair Moody reprimanded Harry for having his wand in the same place.

Quietly, she went into Teddy’s room. She needed one last look at her son before she left. His hair was turquoise tonight, even in sleep. She watched as he smiled and rolled over, lost in his dreams. As he rolled, his hair changed to bright blue. Carefully, as not to wake him, she placed one last kiss on his head, then turned and walked quickly out of the room.

Entering her mother’s bedroom, she walked over and sat on the edge of the bed.

“Mum?” she said gently.

Her mother came awake instantly. “Dora, what’s wrong?” Her mother sat upright in bed.

“Nothing. I have to go out for a little while. Remus left a half hour ago and I need to go too. Mum…” She leaned over and hugged her mother, knowing as she did that it may be the last time. She could tell her mother knew this also.

“Mum, I love you.” Standing quickly, she rushed from the room and out of the house. She didn’t want her mother trying to talk her out of doing what she knew she had to do.