Severus Snape hugged his cloak around him and walked into Kings Cross station, alone. He pulled a trolley out from the rack and manoeuvred his trunk, heavy with books, onto it. He had no pet; his mother couldn't -- or wouldn’t -- spare the money for an owl which was the only pet he’d consider because it was useful. He had scorned her offer to accompany him and knew there was no hope his father would be here to wave goodbye to his freak of a son. Severus wanted to be here alone because he needed time to think. He needed time away from his mother’s voice continually on in the background.

“So glad you have some proper friends at last, Severus,� she had kept saying. “Not that Mudblood girl you always used to hang around with.�

On and on her voice had dripped. “Muggle Filth�, “Dirty blood�, “Mudblood�. She had hurled insults into the air like confetti until Severus had snapped.

“You never said that to her face, did you, Mother? Didn’t have the guts!� he’d yelled. “And what about you? You married a filthy Muggle! Blood traitor!�

She had slapped him hard around the face; he’d raised his hand intent on retaliation. However, there was something about her shock, her cowering in front of him and his stance that reminded him strongly of his father. He had lowered his hand and stormed out into the night.

He had walked down to the river that ran past the garden. When he was nine, Lily had taught him to swim, and every summer they’d idled away the days swimming and talking. He walked until he came to their glade. This was where he’d dreamt of kissing her, holding her face in his hands, gently stroking her hair and whispering words of love.

Their last summer together he’d nearly kissed her. She’d been dozing on a rug he’d laid on the grass, her red hair darkened from the water, and he’d leant in wondering what it would be like to put his lips against hers. He’d reached out his hand, wanting to touch the smooth lightly golden skin on her arm. Then she’d opened her eyes and he’d seen a look of confusion and alarm flash across her face. Swiftly, she’d looked away and he made a comment about shooing away a wasp which she gratefully accepted, but they’d both known it was a lie.

It had been too soon, he’d thought at the time. For they were only fifteen and whilst other girls chased any boy in robes, Lily was different. He had vowed to wait until they were of age.

However, Fate, in the guise of Potter and Black, had stepped in and the awful words buried deep inside him had escaped. He had spoken to her once since then, over a year ago, but she’d refused to accept his apology and claimed it was too late.

The last two summers without her had been hell. With no friends and only letters from Lucan Mulciber to break the monotony, he realised he needed to win her back. He would do anything – even give up his plan to join the Death Eaters – if Lily would love him.

In the past Severus and Lily had always arrived at King’s Cross early. Severus had always felt out of place in his dad’s cast-offs, until he’d crossed that barrier to the train and changed into his robes. Lily would be neatly dressed in Muggle clothing, her hair tied tightly at the nape of her neck. They would spend their last few moments together, before their respective Houses separated them, drinking tea or sharing a doughnut in a Muggle cafe. Severus came early this year too and hung around outside the cafe they’d always frequented – but Lily wasn’t there.

He pushed his way through the barrier at quarter-past ten, thinking she may have arrived even earlier than he, but there was no red-haired girl on this side of the barrier either. He picked a text book up from his trunk and began to read, his eyes darting from page to barrier, barrier to page, too often to make sense of the words.

At half-past ten the Blacks arrived. Severus scowled at the prospect of seeing Sirius who was probably taller and even more handsome. The thought made him feel physically sick. Then he remembered that Sirius had left home the summer before. Whilst most Slytherins had been certain he’d crawl back, Severus knew his enemy and knew his pride would never let him return. Mrs Black was whispering constantly to Regulus who merely nodded or shook his head. Regulus stared at him and half raised his hand. They were not friends but some things bound them just as tight as friendship.

And still Lily was not there.

She’s never late, he thought. It was a matter of pride for her that she always turned up early for lessons. He stared again at the barrier as if the intensity of his gaze could make her materialize. How could he speak to her quietly with everyone here? He saw Lucan Mulciber approach.

“Lucan,� he said in surprise. “I thought you’d left.�

“I failed my N.E.W.Ts,� said the older boy. “Quite convenient, really. It gives us more time to uh... talk.�

“You’ll get your answer, Lucan. You didn’t have to keep sending owls,� said Severus quietly.

A flurry of girls came through the barrier and distracted them, silly, gossipy girls shrieking with excitement. Mulciber’s girlfriend was with them, and he walked off to talk to her with no backward glance for Severus.

It was a quarter to eleven – there would be no chance to speak to Lily alone on the platform. Severus realised he’d need to catch her on the train. Perhaps when she patrolled the corridors he could pull her into an empty carriage. He would make her see sense. He would convince her that he’d changed, and then she would truly be his. Not his best friend, but his girlfriend. All he needed was one chance alone with her -- he was sure of that!

He strode purposefully across the platform, ready to load his trunk. Suddenly, he was knocked to one side as a trolley barged through the barrier. Sitting atop three trunks was Sirius Black. A cloak fashioned from a large Gryffindor flag flowed from his shoulders. He looked, if possible, even more handsome, even cooler and even more reckless. Pushed by Remus and Peter, the trolley came to a halt in front of a gaggle of girls some of whom were applauding as Sirius leapt off the trolley. He looked across to his parents and gave them a mock salute. In reply, they turned their backs on him and Apparated away without saying a word.

Sirius began to walk towards his brother who was determinedly looking anywhere but at him. “Hi Reg,� he said casually. “How’s things?�

Regulus Black’s face was a mask as he turned away from his brother.

“So, Severus,� he said, “did you hear about my O.W.L.s? I got the best in Slytherin.�

Stunned to be included in a conversation, Severus began to congratulate him, aware nevertheless that Regulus Black was barely listening.

“I said hi,� repeated Sirius. “No greeting for your brother?�

“I have no brother,� Regulus said coldly, and then turned back to Severus.

“Look,� he said cheerily, flashing a badge on his lapel. “I’m Quidditch Captain, too.�

“Congratulations!� said Sirius bitterly and he walked off.

“Did you speak to me just to wind him up?� asked Severus.

“Yes,� Regulus admitted simply. “But maybe we could talk together on the train. Lucan Mulciber has invited me to his carriage. Will you be there?�

Severus shrugged. He hadn’t made his mind up yet.

He checked the clock. It was now five minutes to eleven. There was no sign of Lily – she had to be ill. Sighing, he began to load his things on the train. He hung out of the window, hoping all the while to catch a glimpse of her.

The guard began to close the doors. Mothers clutched handkerchiefs to their eyes as they waved their children off. The guard put a whistle to his lips. Suddenly, through the barrier, there came two figures running at break-neck speed for the train. The girl was laughing with exhilaration -- her red hair in disarray. She held the hand of a black-haired boy with glasses. They had piled their trunks onto one trolley which he was pushing whilst she clutched her shoes and ran barefoot across the platform. Sirius leant out of the window and whooped at them, bawdily.

“What sort of example is this to set for the first years, Prongs? You’re the Head Boy!�

“Important meeting with the Head Girl,� James shouted back.

“What about?� shouted Sirius. “Extra- curricular activities?�

“Don’t go without us!� Lily implored the guard who removed the whistle from his mouth and shook his head indulgently.

There was always one courting couple who arrived late, he thought, but he hadn’t expected it to be this pair.

Severus Snape watched from the window as James lifted a giggling Lily onto the train. All thoughts of his persuasive speech gone, he turned away and walked towards Mulciber’s carriage.