i

“Potter! What do you think you’re doing?� yelled Professor McGonagall furiously at the first year. For once, he was on his own – his friends were nowhere to be seen.

James grinned innocently, not looking like he had just been caught red-handed. Instead, he looked as if he had been given a surprise Christmas gift.

“Well?� she asked impatiently.

“Nothing,� James answered, giving another winning smile to the air behind the professor.

“Nothing?� she growled. “What is that boy doing up there?�

James followed McGonagall’s gaze to a boy who was seemingly Velcroed to the wall.

He put on a bewildered face and then put his hand near his mouth, to shield his words from the stuck boy. “He’s always been a strange fellow. I think he likes it,� James whispered, raising his eyebrows to convey the oddness of the other boy’s liking.

Professor McGonagall’s mouth turned into a straight line, disclosing her anger.

“Potter, fifteen points from Gryffindor!�

James’ mouth opened in true surprise and shock. His eyes morphed into half-dollars, filled with astonishment.

“Did you really think that I would believe that you weren’t responsible for this boy’s position, Mr. Potter?�

“Well,� he shrugged, “I guess not.�

“Then you must have known points would be deducted from your House,� she said sharply, and turned to leave.

“But…I’m a Gryffindor!� he shouted pleadingly after her.

Raising an eyebrow, Professor McGonagall turned around. “So?�

“Well, I’m a Gryffindor. You’re the head of my House…� He winked at her, urged her with his head and waved his hands between them in an attempt to make her understand.

Still, the teacher stared blankly at the young boy.

“You know. Gryffindor to Gryffindor.� He again attempted to make her understand by smiling and nodding.

“Mr. Potter, I would appreciate it if you would stop twitching. I know exactly what you are saying and I encourage you to eliminate any ideas of such things from your mind. Now take that boy down!� She gave James a stern look and marched away.

“I told you! McGonagall doesn’t favour Gryffindors!� Sirius Black said matter-of-factly, pulling off his friend’s Invisibility Cloak.

“Fine,� grumbled James sourly. “You were right this time, but there will be other chances to prove my point. We are Gryffindors, after all. She’ll have to warm up to us eventually.�

“We are the best-looking, funniest people in this old castle,� Sirius added casually.

“Yeah, it’s only the first week,� James consoled.

“And hey,� Sirius said cheerfully, “we have Evans to earn us the points back in Potions!�

“Yeah. We’ll just leave that to Lily.�

“I bet if we ask her to wear a short skirt, Slughorn’ll give us double the points!�

James chuckled. “Like Evans will do that.�

“Good point.�

They laughed as they walked away, leaving an eleven-year old Severus Snape plastered to the wall.



ii

James glanced at a few nearby girls, who were engrossed in a snowball fight. There was a blonde with deep dimples he particularly liked.

“You gonna chicken out?� called Remus with a smile, noting James’ uncertainty.

The water sure did look cold… Sporadic ice chunks sheeted some areas of the lake. The rest of the lake remained still, lingering between water and ice.

“N-no,� James answered, biting his lip to keep it from chattering.

“You sure?� Sirius inquired with a raised eyebrow. No one was sure if James had the guts – the water was freezing!

James noticed a few of the girls looking at him with interest, putting their snowball fight on hold for a few minutes. One of those girls was a twelve-year-old Lily Evans. She was bundled in a pink hat and matching gloves, two red pigtails hanging down, spouting from her hat.

As soon as the girls began to watch, James gained confidence. He wouldn’t let any of the girls see him back away from a challenge.

He peeled off his shirt, revealing a scrawny torso.

“You know, I could die from this!� James called to his friends from the water’s edge, a smirk playing on his lips.

“A bet’s a bet, mate!� Sirius yelled, cupping his hands around his mouth. “Just hope your nipples don’t freeze off!�

James shivered from the biting wind, his legs and boxers now completely exposed.

“There’s no way he’ll do it!� Peter assured. “He’s not an idiot!�

James grinned arrogantly.

“But I’m a Gryffindor,� James replied with a glint in his eyes. With that, and one last glance at the watching girls, he dove into the icy water, one arm protecting his nipples.



iii

The common room was considerably quiet. All of the older students had gone to Hogsmeade, which should have only left first and second years to occupy the warm room. But instead, a group of third year students sat scattered throughout, looking equally bitter.

“If we’re stuck here, may as well make it interesting!� James Potter announced brightly. The group merely looked at him angrily, fully blaming him for their punishment. “Come on! We can play truth or dare!� A few of the girls looked at him with interest, but not completely abandoning their irritation.

“Fine,� said Mary MacDonald, a small girl with chestnut colored hair. “I dare you to keep your mouth shut for five minutes, Potter.�

James glowered at the girl. He had never liked that one much…

“Well, then, I dare you not to look at Sirius for more than a minute!�

Mary gave James a nasty look, face blushing, and turned from him. But this comment stirred Sirius’ attention.

“Okay. Let’s play,� Sirius said, gathering the thirteen third years into a circle. They seemed much more susceptible to Sirius’ suggestion, and when he met James’ eyes, he merely shrugged.

“I’ll go first,� Sirius proclaimed, looking at his fellow third-years for a victim. His eyes fell on his friend. “Peter! Truth or dare?�

Peter looked around nervously. “Truth.� The group groaned in unison, but Peter didn’t seem to care.

Sirius racked his brain for a moment. “Okay.� He grinned evilly. “What’s the most embarrassing dream you’ve ever had?� Sirius seemed to already know the answer.

Peter’s face turned crimson as he described Madam Pomfrey passionately kissing him and declaring that she would “Heal all of his wounds with more than medicine.� Sirius and James rolled on the ground with laughter, as everyone else howled, tears streaming down their faces. It took a few minutes for the laughter to fade out.

“My turn,� Peter said, face still pink, even though a few lone laughs still filled the air. “James, truth or dare?� He seemed to have James’ dare pre-decided.

James stopped chuckling and wiped his eyes with his sleeve. “Dare, of course. As it should be for everyone here. We’re all Gryffindors.�

“Okay, James. I dare you to kiss – � Peter said, ignoring James’ last comment and his nudges toward the blonde Dorcas Meadows. Dorcas, James mouthed, silently pushing his head in her direction. Peter smiled, eyes falling on a girl. “Lily Evans.�

James audibly groaned. “Evans, Peter? C’mon!� he moaned, as if Lily weren’t feet away and couldn’t hear him.

“Pucker up!� one of the girls shouted.

“Oh, and it can’t be a peck. It has to be a real kiss,� Peter announced, looking pleased with himself.

James grumbled, looking for the red-haired girl. He found her easily. She was sitting between Dorcas and Mary MacDonald, watching him, traces of anger etched into her face.

“Come over here, then,� James said with annoyance, as if she were a pesky dog.

Lily’s eyebrows tightened. She stood, but not to oblige James’ command. “Why should I?� she asked, folding her arms across her chest.

He glanced at Dorcas. She was looking at him, too! Merlin, she was pretty. James grinned cockily. “Because, Evans, everyone wants to kiss me. And since I’d never willingly kiss you, this is your only chance. Better take it!� Sirius laughed, something that seemed to give James more self-assurance. He continued, “I mean, I’m doing you a favour by even agreeing to kiss you! I’ll have to wash Snivillus off my lips for months, maybe even years!�

Lily’s green eyes became slits. “I don’t want to kiss you and never will.� Her voice was low and dangerous.

James’ assurance flickered for an instant because of Lily’s tone, but he quickly regained it. “Too much of a coward I suppose.� James looked around for support from his friends.

“I’d rather kiss Severus and every other Slytherin in the world than you!�

James’ face twisted into disgust. “Why?� he asked arrogantly, disgust evident on his face.

“Because you’re a jerk!� Lily yelled, trying to protrude the dense skull of James Potter, a boy she was both attracted to and repulsed by.

“But I’m a Gryffindor,� he answered matter-of-factly.

Infuriated, Lily stared at him for a moment. Then she strode over to where he sat and leaned down, kissing him on the lips for a few seconds. When she pulled away, James’ eyes were wide and unsure – unsure of what had just happened, unsure of Lily Evans, unsure of his feelings.

Her green blaze pierced his as she spoke. “I’m a Gryffindor too, Potter. And I’m no coward.� With a tumble of red hair, Lily stormed away from the group and to her dormitory. James simply watched her disappear, still dumbfounded by her fire.

Looks like we’re both Gryffindors, he thought.


iv

“So what’s going on with you and Snape?� Dorcas Meadows asked Lily Evans, following her through shelves of books.

Lily sighed. “I dunno. Or maybe I do. Merlin, I’m not sure,� she answered, her finger trailing along the spines of dusty novels.

James Potter followed their conversation from the next aisle, pushing his ear against the books to hear better.

“He’s just so jealous. He thinks that Potter hangs around because he likes me. I keep telling him that Potter has liked you forever and he hangs around for you. But Severus doesn’t listen. He’s convinced.�

“Maybe – this is gonna sound crazy – but maybe James does like you.�

From the other side of the shelf, James’ face contorted. Like Evans, yeah right! he thought, wondering what on earth Dorcas was thinking.

Lily seemed to be thinking the same thing. “Potter liking me? Potter despises me! He’s liked you for two years, Dor.� James nodded his head, silently agreeing with Lily’s words. At least Lily was in sync with the world…

Either deciding not to fight Lily or seeing her side, Dorcas changed the subject. “So are you with Snape now?�

Lily stopped walking and turned around, so James did the same, listening intently.

“I – no, not really. We’re just friends,� Lily said affirmatively, as if trying to convince herself.

“Have you kissed?� Dorcas giggled.

James was disgusted. He had spent an hour lurking among the decomposing books to find out how Dorcas felt about him. He didn’t want to hear about Snivillus and Evans snogging. The mere thought of it was nauseating. The idea of Snape and anyone was nauseating… He almost felt sorry for Evans.

Lily gaped for a moment. “I – well – that’s none of your business.� Her face was a little pink.

“Why don’t you just date him? It’d probably make his life. Then you can marry him and have ugly little children.�

Lily glowered at her friend. “Then you can marry Potter. I’ll be your maid of honour.�

At the mention of his name, excitement filled James’ body. Excitement mingled with fear. They had said his name, which made him feel more prone to being found. All they had to do was move a few books, and he’d be caught spying. He really should have brought his Invisibility Cloak. Where had his head been?

“Ha ha. Hilarious. Seriously, Lily. You can tell me, what’s with you and Snape?� Dorcas pushed with her earnest eyes.

Lily caved.

“I dunno. I just broke up with Alan, but I think Sev thinks that we’re done because of him. You know, he was always telling me to dump him. He thinks I took his advice. But I didn’t. I can’t be with Sev. He’s too…� Lily took a breath. She had been thinking these things for so long, but she wasn’t sure if she was ready to share them with anyone but herself. She wasn’t sure if she was ready to cross the line, to risk Severus somehow finding out what she had said. She wasn’t sure if she was ready to make it official, to hear it all out loud.

“He’s not a Gryffindor,� Lily said simply. Dorcas just stared at her. “I mean – that doesn’t sound right. I feel like if he were then he wouldn’t be obsessed with all this Dark Arts stuff. You know? I hate it. I really do. And the Slytherins, all around him, are so into it. I think they dragged him down too. He wouldn’t even think about You-Know-Who if he weren’t surrounded by people who did! If he were in Gryffindor, all the Dark stuff wouldn’t be in our way! I know it.�

“Lily,� Dorcas murmured, “it’s never that easy, you know that. Snape would have to be a different person if he were in Gryffindor. You could be together because he wouldn’t be him. The real reason you’re not together is because you know, deep down, that you’re too good for him. You’re a better person than he is and you deserve better than him. Don’t argue, it’s true.� Lily closed her mouth.

James moved his head away from the shelf a little, feeling shameful. He had gotten more than he bargained for. He hadn’t really wanted to snoop around. Well, he did. But only about Dorcus. He didn’t care for the heavy stuff. He had no business falling into other people’s lives and he knew it.

“As for you and Alan,� Dorcas started, “he was a Hufflepuff.�

That’s where James had heard the name before. Alan Pensp. He was the Seeker for the Hufflepuff Quidditch team, and quite good, too. James hadn’t known Lily was dating him.

Lily smiled a little. “So?�

Dorcas gave a scheming grin. “My grandmother always said true members of a House marry each other.� Lily looked at her friend, lost. “I mean, it’s not really true. But I think it is for you.�

“Wait, what does that even mean?�

“It means that you need to date a Gryffindor.�

Lily raised an eyebrow. “Who do you have in mind?� She knew exactly whom Dorcas would suggest.

“Before you completely disagree, hear me out, you and James are perfect for each other!� Dorcas pleaded.

“No, we’re not! Potter is an arse. A complete jerk!�

James, who couldn’t peel himself away, was offended. Evans had called him names before, but he always figured she just exaggerated for effect. If Evan were saying the same things in private, she must have meant them!

“Oh, he’s not that bad. He’s very Gryffindor! And so are you! He hates Dark Magic and You-Know-Who, just like you! Plus, he’s kind of cute, in a really-good-Quidditch-player kind of way.�

What was that supposed to mean?

“Potter likes you. I don’t want him and don’t try to pass him off on me! And he’s only so proud of being a Gryffindor because he wants attention. He’s pathetic,� Lily said with disgust. “Plus, Landon Mitchell asked me out.�

Dorcas shrugged. “I can’t really argue Landon Mitchell, can I?� She laughed and so did Lily. James couldn’t believe how quickly the idea of him was dropped! Especially for some good-looking sixth year. What was he, chopped liver?

The two girls, laughing together, walked away, and James, following a little behind, could still hear traces of their conversation.

“Even if I had agreed to your plan, how would you suggest getting Potter off of you? He’s liked you for ages,� Lily asked, still laughing.

“James just likes the way I look. He doesn’t even know me. But you, he’d fall head-over-heels for everything about you in a split second. Trust me.�

Lily just laughed and shook her head. “I doubt that.�

Dorcas shrugged. “Doesn’t really matter. Go for Landon. I’d take Landon over James any day. Better looking.�

“Less arrogant,� Lily added.

“More mature.�

“And he likes me.�

“Still.� Dorcas frowned. “Not a Gryffindor.�

Lily rolled her eyes.

Soon, their voices faded away, leaving James more curious than he had been before. He hadn’t really given Lily Evans a second thought. Sure, she was pretty, but she was a friend of Snape’s. That was an immediate strike against her. He hadn’t known that she was against the Dark Arts, and because of the affiliation, wary of Slytherins.

The girl James had liked for quite some time thought Lily was his match… Lily Evans, who caught the attention of every boy in Hogwarts, but never his…not really. Lily Evans, who kissed him to prove herself. Lily Evans, quite a Gryffindor.

Like him.

He could picture her in his mind. Dark red hair, green eyes. She was striding across the room and leaning down. Her lips were on his… He could still remember how every inch of his skin seemed to be on fire, how something about her momentarily mesmerised him.

The more he thought about her, the more he liked her. James pulled out memories of her that he didn’t know he had stored. Little things she had said or done, clever retorts she had spun off at Slughorn, wand work that had impressed James. The more he thought, the more he recalled…the more he was convinced that Lily Evans could be someone he could befriend, someone he could grow to love. Just as Dorcas had said, it’d only take a split second.

As for Landon Mitchell. Sure, he was older. Good looking. Smart. All the stuff that girls liked. Maybe not Lily Evans though. If she were whom Dorcas had described – his equal – then other things would be important to her. Courage and morality, honor and integrity. Those were things a Ravenclaw wouldn’t value, not like a Gryffindor, he decided. Landon had nothing on James. Other than his obvious looks, charm and intelligence.

“But I’m a Gryffindor,� James whispered to himself, a smile spreading through his face.



v

James never imagined Dorcas’ words would be so true. He never imagined that Lily Evans would be so easy to like. He never imagined that, after a few conversations, a little teasing and some bantering, he’d fall so fast. A year later, James never expected such a change. He never expected to envy Severus Snape for being so close to the girl.

The second James entered the Great Hall with his friends, he scoped out Lily Evans. Of course, she was sitting at the Gryffindor table, but with an unwelcome guest. Landon Mitchell was kissing her goodbye, squeezing her hands tightly.

He was in his seventh year, and James couldn’t wait until he was gone. Only seven more months and James would never have to see him at Hogwarts again. He’d never have to see him walking with Lily, holding her hand, kissing her. The idea was too good to be true.

Landon gave her a final kiss and walked away, presumably to his first class. His absence seemed to be a sign, so James waved goodbye to his three friends, and walked toward Lily.

“Hey Evans!� James greeted cheerfully, sitting next to the girl.

“Oh, it’s you, Potter.�

“No need to show your joy so openly,� James said dryly, scooping food onto his plate.

Lily grinned in spite of herself. “Don’t worry, I won’t.�

“I wouldn’t expect anything less. So, you still with that Ravenclaw?� James asked, wanting to sound casual. He never really did, though. He always sounded much too hopeful, even though he knew that Lily was still dating Landon.

“His name is Landon, but you know that. And yes. I know you just saw him.�

James shrugged. She always caught him. That’s what he liked about her. She always told him the truth and she always called him on the stuff he pulled. “Landon and Lily.� James wrinkled his nose. “I don’t like it much. Too matchy.�

James watched her closely, awaiting her reaction, studying every aspect of her face. She rolled her eyes, something that always made him smile.

“Good thing no one asked you, then.� She turned back to putting jam on her toast while James racked his brain a retort. He couldn’t think of anything though and shook his head, chuckling. She always managed to get him.

While James pondered Lily Evans, eating his breakfast, Lily grabbed her toast and began to gather her things.

“Where are you going?� James asked suddenly, noticing Lily preparing to depart. He had wanted to sit next to her for a few more minutes, to engage her in conversation once more.

She raised an eyebrow. “To meet a friend. Though it’s none of your business.� She continued to grab her bag and coat. James knew when she said ‘a friend,’ she meant Snape. The idea sickened him.

“Wait!� James called as she began to walk away. “I need help.�

Lily looked at him skeptically. “With what?� she asked.

“Um…Potions…and Charms…everything, actually.� James smiled and ruffled his hair, hoping she’d buy his lies.

“You do not. What do you really want?� Lily folded her arms impatiently. James was keeping her from Snape, something he found very pleasing.

“I-I.� He had to think quickly. “I…� Suddenly, he was inspired. With his hand, he ushered her closer, like he was going to share a secret. She leaned in, close enough so he could whisper in her ear. She smelled good…

“I’m having girl troubles. Dorcas, specifically,� James said, once Lily’s ear was to his lips.

She pulled away. “And you want help from me?� James nodded fervently. He wasn’t sure, but he thought it was working.

“That’s why you’ve been hanging around me so much lately? You were trying to get tips to go after Dorcas?� James couldn’t tell if Lily looked surprised or betrayed. Maybe it was both.

“What’d you think?�

“I-I dunno. That, I guess…� Lily wearily smoothed her pony tail, thinking. “Okay. Umm. Meet me in the library around six. Unless you want me to just talk to Dorcas for you.�

“No!� James said quickly. “I mean, I’d rather meet with you first. Work on something to say, you know.�

“Whatever you want,� Lily replied listlessly. James wondered, for the millionth time in his life, what was going through Lily’s mind.

Later that day, James waited for Lily in the library. He wondered what she was doing. Telling Snape her secrets? Kissing her boyfriend? Thinking about him? It was anyone’s guess.

At five minutes after, James wondered if she was even going to show. She’d probably get a good laugh, leaving James Potter sitting in the library alone. She was probably watching from the stacks, giggling and taking pictures.

James wiped those thoughts from his mind. That wasn’t Lily. She wasn’t cruel. Then again, she didn’t like him much and never really had…

But at ten after, Lily dropped her bag and sunk into the chair across from him. James immediately straightened and crumbled his doodle-filled parchment.

Lily was wearing a green winter cloak, one that matched her eyes perfectly. Her hair was still in its ponytail, but it was less perfect from the day’s wear. Her cheeks were pink and James decided that it fit her. Rosy cheeks made her more beautiful.

“Sorry, I’m late,� she said breathlessly, taking off her gloves and cloak. Snow had gathered on both. “I forgot.�

“Outside?� James asked, wondering whom she had been with.

“Something like that. Now,� Lily got down to business after settling her cloak on the back of her chair, “you’ve barely looked at Dorcas this year. And you never need help talking to anyone. So what’s going on? And don’t lie, because I know you.�

She linked her hands on the table and looked at James expectantly. As for James, he was baffled. He hadn’t expected those words from Lily, and he wasn’t sure what to say.

“Fine. You caught me.� James flopped his hands in the air. “It isn’t Dorcas. It’s someone else. She’s in…Ravenclaw. But she has a boyfriend. I really like her and I don’t know what to do. Usually girls like me. I figured you might be able to help.�

Lily looked at him for a moment, deciding whether he was serious or not. “Let her go,� she finally said, having decided he was sincere. “If she doesn’t like you and she’s happy with someone else, then move on. If she doesn’t like you back then you can never be happy with her anyway.� Lily stated the solution so easily that James wondered if she had thought it up beforehand. He wondered if she had a similar problem before and solved it for herself. There was so much he wanted to know about her.

“But what if I know we’re perfect together. What if she’s everything I’ve been looking for?�

Lily was silent for a moment. Maybe she saw something in James’ eyes or maybe she heard something in his voice, whatever it was, it all clicked. She knew that James wasn’t talking about a Ravenclaw… And James knew that Lily knew.

“I suggest you leave her alone. I think she’s very happy with her boyfriend and doesn’t need you to muck it up. That’s the best advice I can give you. She – people have problems with friends…and school…and they don’t need more. Leave her be.� Lily grabbed her bag and cloak and stood up abruptly. “And you wouldn’t be perfect together. Trust me.�

Lily began to walk away.

“Hey, LILY!� When Lily didn’t stop and the librarian began to scold him, James went after her. “LILY! LILY!� he called. “But I’m a Gryffindor!� he called out.

She turned around and smiled, unable to hide her fondness for him.

“You know, James, that saying is getting quite trite.� She flashed another smile and continued walking to the common room.

“And we would be perfect together,� he said aloud. In the distance, Lily turned around and looked at him. She had heard him.

For some reason, the idea of James scared her. And because of that, Lily would stop talking to him soon. She’d be frustrated and angry with him again. She’d call him a toerag and curse him. He expected it. He welcomed it. He awaited it, because as soon as that happened, he could win her over again. And this time, he’d go for more than friendship.



vi

“Evans!� James yelled up the corridor after Lily. “Evans! Wait up!� He was sure that Lily was rolling her eyes as she paused. He smiled at the thought and jogged to catch up to her.

“What are you doing?� Lily asked, eyeing James, who had fallen into step with her.

“What d’you mean?�

“Don’t you have Quidditch practice, like, now?�

James seemed to be thinking, racking his brain. “Oh that!� he finally said. “I have fifteen minutes.� Sometimes he was infuriating. Lily knew very well that he remembered the practice, that he had a game the next day. He’d been talking of nothing else for weeks.

“Well, you should probably go get ready, then.�

“Only if you’ll come watch the game tomorrow.�

“Of course I will,� Lily said, hoping to shake James off. “You’re going to be late, James.�

“Are you going to watch me or your new boyfriend?� he asked, ignoring Lily’s last comment and boring his eyes into hers. After a moment, she looked away and began to fiddle with her ear.

“I’m going to watch the game.� She still couldn’t meet his gaze.

“What position does he play again?�

Lily sighed, frustrated, and whipped her head up. “Why do you have to do this? You know he plays Keeper. You’re Captain, you’ve been playing against him for four years. Why do you have to act like this?�

“You know why. I have to go get ready.� James turned and walked away, but it was Lily who chased him this time.

A lot had changed in a year, James knew that, but when he looked back to where he was the previous year, everything was the same. Whenever he and Lily took a step forward, their next move was three backwards.

James went into his sixth year feeling like the luckiest boy alive. Severus Snape and Lily had stopped being friends at the end of their fifth year. Then, during that summer, Lily and Landon broke up. When James heard that, he knew it was his chance. Fate had aligned all perfectly. He would finally have a chance with Lily.

And James thought he did. He thought Lily really liked him. Merlin knew that he was as smitten as ever. She actually would come sit with him at meals. They’d walk to classes together. They even went to Hogsmeade together a few times, as friends, of course. And then they kissed. They had been sitting on the couch, studying and laughing, and then she leaned in.

It wasn’t like their first kiss. There was no truth or dare, no wondering eyes of onlookers, just them. It was just as James had imagined it. The night of the kiss, he mapped it all out. The next day, he had planned to give Lily a flower and ask her to Hogsmeade (as more than friends). Then, in time, he’d ask her to be his girlfriend.

But that plan dissolved like smoke. All because of that stupid boy, Dan Stevens.

“Come on, don’t act like this. We’re good friends, why do we have to ruin it?�

When James didn’t respond, Lily grabbed his hand to stop him. Don’t give in, don’t give in, he thought, but it was difficult – especially with her hand on his. James took a breath, shook her hand away, and pictured Lily kissing her new boyfriend. That did the trick.

“Act like what? You’re the one who’s acting,� James answered coldly, hoping to hurt her. He couldn’t help but feel she deserved it. “You’re the one who kissed me and then started dating this other guy, what, three days later?�

“Merlin, I’m sorry! I am, James. The kiss was a mistake. I didn’t want it to happen.�

James flinched. “You’ve made that clear. But you’re not sorry. You can do whatever you want to me, because you know I’ll always be there. One day I won’t.�

“Okay, James. You’re the one who called my name down the hall. You sought me out. If you hate me so much, why’d you bother?�

James sighed, and when he spoke, his voice was soft and low. “Because I can’t hate you.� And he walked to his Quidditch practice, where his team greeted him with exhilaration and smiles.

The following day, Gryffindor won the game. James made sure of it. He slammed Quaffle after Quaffle into the ring; Dan Stevens hadn’t even known what hit him.

But the victory wasn’t as pleasing as he anticipated. Sure, it put them in first place for the Cup, something that every Gryffindor was celebrating, but James still felt down. He slinked around the party, wondering where Lily was, if she was out consoling Dan Stevens for his embarrassing loss. The thought made him feel worse.

When Professor McGonagall came and broke up the party at around one, James hung around, feeling too restless to sleep. He paced around the common room a few times, hands sunken into his hair. He had to get over her. It was the only logical path. What else, really, could he do? Wait around some more? Beg her?

He’d do neither.

James would find a nice, available gal, and win her over. She’d be everything Lily never was. Everything he wished she was.

Feeling settled with his decision, James headed to his dormitory to sleep, wondering if Lily would haunt his dreams.

The next morning was a bright Sunday, the perfect kind. The January air was bitter, but the sky was clear and the sun shining. James knew enough not to take days like that for granted.

Pushing yesterday’s events out of his mind, he quickly dressed and headed off to the Great Hall. When he arrived, he instinctively glanced for Lily, but quickly stopped himself. Instead, he spotted Sirius, Remus and Peter and headed toward them.

“Left without me?� James asked brightly, sitting down next to Sirius.

“Sorry, hunger waits for no man,� Sirius answered between bites. James laughed, and the waves that reverberated through his throat felt good.

“Pretty deep, Confucius.�

“I think that should be my new nickname. Padfoot is getting old.�

“Speaking of Padfoot, full circle is coming soon. We should get planning,� Remus said sensibly. Full circle meant full moon, of course.

“Really?� James asked, genuinely surprised. “Has it been a month already?�

“Time really flies with Evans, huh?� Peter asked, his comment trickling over James like cold water.

“Tonight, then. What time do you think?�

“Eight’s good for me. What about you, James? Or are you ‘studying’ with Evans until eleven again?�

Merlin, was Lily really that big a part of James’ life? He hadn’t even realised it. But with his three best friends talking like that, she much have been. Was he really choosing her over them? It all sounded horrible.

“No,� James said flatly. “No Evans tonight. You know you guys come first.� He turned to Remus. “Moony, you come first.�

“Okay, then. Eight o’clock?� The four boys nodded.

“Oh yeah! You missed the post, but this came from you.� James’ eyes fell on a nearby piece of parchment that he hadn’t even noticed. It was probably just junk, or a note from his mum or dad. But still, he wondered. There was always a chance that it was something else, something of more interest.

When Remus handed him the letter, James saw that it merely said JAMES in tidy writing. Not the writing of either of his parents…

“Thanks,� he mumbled, slowly unraveling the rolled parchment and quickly reading over the short note. His three friends looked on expectantly.

“Just from my mum,� James said, quickly crumpling the paper and stuffing it into his pocket before his friends could see it.

***