Winter had settled over Hogwarts without any of the warmth and enjoyment that the season usually brought. Yes, it was winter, but Christmas wasn’t as wonderful as it seemed when everyone around you was either, dead, injured, missing or suffering.

Ginny Weasley sighed as she stood under a leafless beech tree, looking out at the snow-covered grounds. Today was the last day before the holidays. Tomorrow she would be heading back to the Burrow. The sad bit of it was, going back home would only make her think about Harry more than ever.

Not that she ever stopped thinking about him. He was in her mind constantly; the first thought she had when she woke up and the one thing she dreamt about at night. Once, she had woken up in the middle of the night, thinking that she’d heard him calling her name. But, of course, it was only a dream.

Everyday, she hoped for news of Harry, Ron and Hermione. Where they were, if they were all right, if they were alive. But, even she had to admit that no news was good news. It meant that Voldemort hadn’t caught him yet. But, oh, how she ached to hear something, anything about Harry.

Why couldn’t you have taken me, too, you prat, Ginny thought, hugging herself against the cold. Somehow, even without asking Harry, she knew the answer. He said it all, that day he broke it off with her, after Dumbledore’s funeral. He would say it was too dangerous and that he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if something happened to her. Besides, he would say, Dumbledore left the job to me. Whatever the hell that job was.

A sudden crunch of snow made Ginny turn around and she saw Neville Longbottom coming towards her. “Hey, Ginny,� he said in greeting, huffing a little as he came to stand next to her under the tree, his hands in his coat pockets.

“Hello, Neville,� Ginny replied and turned back to her survey of the grounds.

“What are you doing out here?� Neville asked. “Shouldn’t you be packing?�

Ginny just nodded. “Yeah, I should be,� she said softly. Turning to look at Neville, Ginny saw that he had more bruises than the last time she’d seen him up close. “What brings you out here? Escaped from detention again? Those evil gits didn’t mess you up too much, I hope.�

Neville’s only response was a shrug and a shake of his head. “I don’t care. They can rough me up as much as they want, I still won’t stop telling them that a muggleborn has cleaner blood than either of them any day. I just hope they keep away from my family.� He sighed, much like the sigh Ginny herself had let out earlier.

“I’m sure your grandmother will be fine, Neville,� Ginny said reassuringly. “And I’m also sure she’s very proud of you. It’s brave of you to stand up to those gutless Carrows.�

“Thanks,� Neville replied, blushing at Ginny’s praise. “Well, it’s just – they think they’re so great, picking on a bunch of kids. I couldn’t stand it. I’m sure if Harry was here –“ He cut himself off before he got any further, but it seemed that Ginny had become oddly distracted.

She was looking at the far off hoops at the Quidditch pitch, remembering the team practices they had last year. She had felt Harry watching her more often than was necessary, but he never said anything. She was still with Dean then, and Ginny knew that was one of the reasons why. The other one was Ron.

Neville glanced sideways at her and directed his gaze to where Ginny was looking. Without meaning to, he said, “Do you ever think about them? You know, Ron and Hermione. Harry.� He said the name almost as an afterthought, mostly because he already knew the answer to that question.

Ginny almost smiled. “I don’t think I ever stop thinking about them. Him.� She wrapped her arms tighter around herself, not because she was cold. She did it because she felt like she was going to come apart just mentioning Harry. “Sometimes, I even feel like he’s watching me.� This time, Ginny actually laughed, though it was a bitter laugh. “Stupid, isn’t it.� A statement. Not a question. She thought she was perfectly entitled to calling herself stupid for thinking that her ex-boyfriend, who was somewhere in the wide world doing God knows what for their dead headmaster, was watching her.

Damn it. There it was again. The stupid lump in her throat was back. The one she couldn’t swallow or stop. Her chest started to hurt, her eyes to prickle. Before she knew it she was crying and Ginny hated herself for it. She was never the crying type but ever since Bill and Fleur’s wedding…

A white handkerchief was dangling in front of Ginny, as Neville wordlessly held it there. Ginny took it just as silently and wiped away her tears, but it seemed that her eyes weren’t done yet. She wished Neville would look away.

But Neville wasn’t looking at her at all as she wept. He thought it wasn’t something that he should see. It wasn’t something he liked to see. “Why do –“ Neville began, but he stopped short. “Ginny, don’t cry, please,� he said, softly. “You and him, you’ve – I-I’m sure he’s fine. We would’ve – we would’ve heard something if they weren’t – If he was… Just, please, don’t cry. Not because of –� He stopped talking, mostly because he couldn’t go on. He admired Harry Potter a great deal but for this Neville couldn’t praise him. “I-I’m sorry, Ginny, I shouldn’t have said anything.�
Ginny shook her head. “It’s not your fault, Neville,� she said, finally finished. She sniffed and wiped her eyes with the handkerchief. “It’s just… I feel so scared for him, you know. For them, really. And we just – we never really – I didn’t even get to say goodbye.�

A long silence followed Ginny’s words, a silence filled with unspoken things that neither of them could put their fingers on. After a while, Neville finally spoke. “I wish… I could say something… to make you feel better,� he said, slowly, his eyes on the ground. “I-I wish you didn’t hurt for him so much. Then maybe you could… feel something… for me.�

Ginny was silent. She didn’t exactly know what to say about what Neville just said. All she did was bite her lower lip. Neville, still not looking at her, swallowed. “You were always kind to me, Ginny,� he went on, quietly, but oddly enough Ginny didn’t have a hard time hearing him. “To people like me and Luna. The ones that weren’t quite cool enough or brave enough or handsome enough. You said yes to me when I asked you to go to the Yule Ball with me, when every girl I asked had turned me down. And when you talk to me, you don’t look at me like I’m not supposed be breathing your air.�

Still, Ginny didn’t speak. She couldn’t find the right words to say, but in her head she had exactly the right words for how she felt. She never knew that Neville felt this way about her, but that wouldn’t make telling him what she was thinking any less painful. But Neville wasn’t done talking.

“I'm in love with you, Ginny Weasley. But I understand that your heart belongs to Harry Potter. I’ve always hoped that one day you would look at me the way you looked at him. I suppose that day’s never going to come, is it.� A statement. Not a question. With gigantic effort, it seemed, Neville lifted his head and looked Ginny in the eye. “But I still hope it will.�

The pain in Neville’s eyes gave Ginny goosebumps. How could she stand to hurt him? How could she stand there and not say anything? “Neville, I…� she began, her hands clenched into fists, the handkerchief balled up in one of them. “You are a great friend. And yes, I do love Harry, more than I could even explain. But I love you, too.� She reached out to put a hand on his arm. “Just not in the way you hope.� She wanted to say more, to explain, to make him understand, even as those eyes were telling her that he did. Perhaps it was herself, her own mind that didn’t understand how he could just accept something as painful as that.

Neville forced a smile on to his face and hoped that it didn’t look bitter, because it wasn’t how he felt at all. Some people couldn’t handle rejection; Neville Longbottom was used to it by now. “It’s all right, Ginny,� he whispered. “I know. Thank you, for loving me, even if it is in a different way.� He stepped away from her stiffly, as if it was the hardest thing he ever had to do. “I should go.� Neville was surprised to hear that his voice sounded calm and collected, very much like his normal self. “I still have some things to pack. I’ll see you after the holidays. Merry Christmas, Ginny.� And he turned and walked the way he had come, his shoulders squared and standing tall.

It was a minute before Ginny realized that he had left her his handkerchief. And that he never told her why he had come out to the grounds. She would never know that it was because of her that Neville had come out in the cold, risked another detention for abandoning his current one, because he had overheard someone say that Ginny Weasley was standing alone under a leafless tree, looking like the saddest girl in the world.