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Coming out of my cage, and I’ve been doing just fine.
Gotta gotta be down, because I want it all.

Draco Malfoy was free. He had been released from Azkaban after six long years. It had been the worst experience of his life. He had gone in a bright young man and he had come out old; having seen horrors that no boy of his age should have seen.

He slept on a cold, damp stone floor; his only company the shrieks of pain from his cell mates. Slowly he felt the happiness drain from his world and somehow he couldn’t remember how to smile. He couldn’t even remember the last time he had done so. But Draco was strong; he refused to allow his sanity to slip away from him like it did for so many doomed to an eternity in this hell.

There was one thing -one face- that got him through what would be the worst years of his life. Her face. He struggled to remember- remember her hair, her eyes, but he would never forget. It was the only spark of happiness he had left. He wanted her, and he could wait, he could fight the tumult of sadness and despair that threatened to overwhelm him.

It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this?

He had felt that sadness and despair once before. It seemed a lifetime ago. Draco Malfoy was in his sixth year at Hogwarts. He was sitting on the cold, slightly damp floor of a bathroom. He felt so alone, so empty and, even though he would never admit it to anyone but the ghostly girl that hovered before him, he was scared.

The Dark Lord had given him a task to do; a task that he was supposed to fail at. He knew he was destined to fail and he didn’t want to complete the task, but he had to. The ghost before him was floating just inches from the damp floor and she was silent, thinking through what Draco had just revealed to her. Draco stood up, stretching his legs. He glanced towards one of the cracked, tarnished mirrors on the wall just in time to see a flash of red and hear a bang as the door flew open.

A black shape with a shock of red hair threw itself angrily across the room at Draco. “You complete git!” she shouted. “I knew you were up to something! How could you? After all Dumbledore has done for you! He believes in you, Malfoy, you utter scumbag!” Ginny Weasley screamed the last word as Draco caught hold of her flailing fists and held her close to him. She stopped struggling, and looked up into his cool grey eyes. There was a look of hurt in her smooth brown ones.

“I believe in you,” she whispered, her entire body was shaking from shock and fear. This is not how Draco had expected Ginny Weasley to react. She had just found out, depending on how long she had been listening, what the Dark Lord had ordered Draco to do. Yet here she was confronting him, flailing her fists at him. He had expected Ginny to hex the hell out of him before reporting him, but here she was, showing actual feelings for him; actual disappointment and shock. Hopelessness flashed in his grey eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he said simply. The close contact with the beautiful girl he had admired for so long was too much for Draco to resist. He bent his head and gently brushed his cool lips against hers.

It was only a kiss.

Using every ounce of self control that Draco possessed, he pulled himself from the sweet embrace of the girl whom he had admired from afar for four years.

“I really am sorry,” he said, and with tears sparkling in his eyes, pulled his wand from his pocket “Obliviate,” he said softly, allowing the tears to flow freely down his pale cheeks. Ginny started slightly as the spell hit her.

Draco kindly took her elbow and guided her out the bathroom door. He closed it behind her, and fell to the cold, hard floor, his back against the door that he had just shut. He had just locked out the only person who might ever understand him.

It was only a kiss.

Thunder crashed across the sky, and rain pelted at Draco’s face. The day Draco was released was a miserable one. He had nothing to go back to. Most of his family’s fortune had been taken by the ministry, as well as his family’s home. There was only one thing Draco wanted to do that day and he didn’t care about anything else. He didn’t care about anything but her.

Draco went to find Ginny. Ultimately, it wasn’t very difficult. He simply followed Harry Potter home from the Ministry. He had followed him through the dark winter streets of London, careful always to be far enough behind not to arise suspicion.

Harry walked home, like common Muggle, Draco thought bitterly. Although really, he shouldn’t complain, this made it all the easier to find Ginny. Draco followed Harry, who had been dating Ginny for some time, to a small poky little flat a couple of streets from the main Ministry building.

If she was with me, she wouldn’t be living in such a pathetic little place, Draco thought. With a sharp jolt he was reminded that Ginny wasn’t with him, she was with pretty-boy Potter. Not that she’d be better off with him anyway, he couldn’t offer her anything better, not any more. He had no hope.

Draco was sat behind two large rubbish bins, just across the street from the little black door. He waited and waited, willing Ginny to come out of the small, cracked black painted door, even if it was just to put out the bins. He needed to see her, he needed to refresh the only happy memories he had left.

At about eight o’clock, the door opened and Ginny came out, and with a sudden pang that he felt both in his stomach and his heart, Draco saw a beautiful young woman. He hadn’t seen Ginny in six years. She had been beautiful when she was young and she had grown in beauty as she had grown in age.

Then, to Draco’s disappointment, Harry appeared behind her. He locked the door behind them and then grasped hold of Ginny’s hand as they began to walk down the leaf-strewn street. Draco followed the couple, careful not to step on the leaves that crunched under their feet.

He followed them all the way to a small restaurant about five streets down from their flat. It was a fairly nice looking restaurant, not the kind of place Draco was used to eating at, but he reminded himself that it was better than anywhere he would be eating at now. As the black haired man ushered Ginny through the red and gold double doors, Draco settled himself on the other side of the street, leaning against a chipped brick wall, to wait for them to leave again.

Now I’m falling asleep.

Beneath his closed blonde eyelashes, Draco spotted a flash of red. With a start, he awoke and saw Ginny and Harry leaving the restaurant. With a feeling of horror at how Muggle-like the couple were, he watched as Ginny removed what he knew to be a Muggle mobile phone from her pocket and put it up to her ear. Even more disgusting, he watched as Harry took a small white tube from his pocket and lit it with a hand held Muggle flame device.

And she’s calling a cab, while he’s having a smoke,
And she’s taking a drag.

Ginny took the cigarette from Harry and took a deep puff from it. If she was with him, Draco thought, she would not have to be smoking horrible Muggle killing devices for fun. She could have whatever she wanted, but that was the problem: she didn’t want him. She didn’t even know that he wanted her.

A few minutes later, a small black automobile arrived and the couple got into it. This confused Draco; Ginny and Harry lived only round the corner. Could it be that they actually enjoyed acting like Muggles? Draco followed the black car back to the small black door of the flat. He watched as Ginny and Harry got out of the car, laughing and clutching each other. Together they stumbled through the door.

For some reason, one that Draco could not explain, he felt a need to see what was happening behind the black door. He looked the dirty terrace building up and down and spotted a broken drainpipe that, with the quick aid of a Reparo spell, would be easy enough to climb.

Casting the spell lazily from his wand tip, Draco began to scale the grimy building until he reached a window that he could comfortably peer through. To his distaste, he saw a room with deep red painted walls; it was full of stylish black furniture. It took Draco only a second to realise, that it was their bedroom window.

Now they’re going to bed and my stomach is sick,
And it’s all in my head.

He watched, feeling sick to his stomach as Ginny and Harry entered the room. Draco re-cast his Disillusionment Charm; just to be sure he could not be seen. Harry slid his fingers under Ginny’s chin and tilted her head toward his mouth. They kissed passionately and Ginny’s hands moved to caress Harry’s back as his hands moved up to the zip at the top of the beautiful black dress Ginny was wearing.

He gently began to pull the zip down as Ginny began un-buttoning his shirt. Draco willed himself to look away, but found that his neck would no longer obey what his brain was telling it to do. He watched was Harry finished un-zipping the dress and pulled it gently down as Ginny pulled off Harry’s shirt and lightly stroked his chest.

But she’s touching his chest now,
He takes off her dress now, Let me go…

Draco was hypnotised by Ginny’s beauty, so much so he could not look away. He could not let himself look away. He could never let go of the though of being with her; he would always be her slave, a slave to her un-imaginable beauty. He felt like he was dying and no longer had any control over his emotions.

All those years he had survived in Azkaban, those desperate, desperate nights, he only held on by telling himself that when he was released they could be together. Somewhere deep down, he knew it wasn’t true, but in that cold, damp cell he couldn’t bring himself to accept it. It was all he had left.

And I just can’t look, its killing me, and taking control
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea.

No one could stand this, Draco thought bitterly. He would be the desperate, sad old man, peering through the window to his true love’s flat for the rest of his life. It was pathetic; he was pathetic. He felt like he was drowning in the vast sea that was the love he held for Ginny. He wished he had a switch that he could just turn off. To turn off all the water and save himself from drowning, but it didn’t work like that. You can’t simply turn off love.

Suddenly, an old lullaby that his nurse had used to sing to him floated through his mind, “Although you are alone, somehow you feel you are in the arms of love....” The words she used to sing rang through his mind and suddenly he was enchanted by the lyrics. He felt alone, but he did not feel in the arms of love, he felt like he was in the arms of hate, of loneliness.

Swimming through sick lullabies, chocking on your alibis.

Harry, of all people? Why Harry? Was he someone to have instead of Draco? Was Ginny trying to hide the true feelings that she felt? Draco knew the truth but he didn’t want to accept it. Instead, he wrenched his eyes from the scene in the bedroom that was unfolding before him and salty tears began pouring once more down his pale cheeks. For the first time since that day, he was reminded bitterly of the only kiss he had ever shared with Ginny.

But it’s just the price I pay, Destiny is calling me.

All this pain was the price that Draco and his family had to pay for their allegiance to the Dark Lord. It was his destiny to suffer for the rest of his life. How could just a few stupid acts committed in his naïve childhood dictate the rest of his life? Why should he suffer for his father's mistakes? Draco did not know the answers, but he knew that he couldn’t change them.

Open up my eager eyes, Cause I’m Mr Brightside

Draco finally understood. He longed to be back in Azkaban; he would rather suffer the wrath of Dementors for the rest of his days than live like this. Supposedly he was free, but really he was a prisoner all along. Ginny never loved him, and he would have to live with that for the rest of his life. Draco turned to look from where he was perched, high up on Ginny’s building. What was the point? Why bother living, when he had nothing to live for? Draco looked towards the cold, hard tarmac beneath him. The relief he had been waiting for.

I’m coming out of my cage, and I’ve been doing just fine,
Gotta gotta be down because I want it all
It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this?
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss
Now I’m falling asleep
And she’s calling a cab, while he’s having a smoke
And she’s taking a drag
Now they’re going to bed and my stomach is sick,
And it’s all in my head
But she’s touching his chest now,
He takes off her dress now, Let me go…
And I just can’t look, its killing me, and taking control
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies, chocking on your alibis
But it’s just the price I pay, Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes, Cause I’m Mr Brightside

I never
I never
I never
I never

He never thought it would end like this…