Family Ties

There was something oddly relaxing about the Easter holidays at Hogwarts.

Several of the other teachers had thought Remus mad when he’d ventured that opinion in the staff room a few days before. After all, Easter was the holiday when most students failed to go home, choosing to remain and, reputedly, study for their imminent exams and, aside from the absence of lessons, it was much like term-time, full of bustle and laughter and barely concealed flouting of the rules. But Remus had long been of the opinion that Hogwarts without students might as well not be Hogwarts at all – the castle was too eerie, too silent, too lifeless to feel comfortable in the summer and even Christmas, he recalled from his year as a live-in teacher, was just that touch too quiet. But Easter was a break without boredom, a paired down version of the job he loved that meant he could help the students and prepare for future classes while still having time to see plenty of his family in between. It formed a happy medium between the two parts of life he loved the most.

Neville Longbottom had nodded his agreement at that and even Headmaster Flitwick had conceded that he could see his point. But the other teachers had banded together and roundly concluded that he was barking.

The look on Alice Spindleshaft’s face when she realised that yes, she had just used that term out loud to address a werewolf, had been worth the concession of the argument. It had taken him ten minutes of fending off stammered apologies to convince the Muggle Studies professor that he hadn’t been the slightest bit offended. Five of those had been needed so he could stop laughing.

And it had been so easy to laugh. Years ago, before Dora, and before a trip through a temporal Portal had thrust him away from his own death and into a whole new life, he would never have been able to laugh so long, the laughter consumed by worries that he was making people uncomfortable, that the apology was motivated by fear, that they were wondering about his motives in wanting to stay with the children, that they and the children were watching him nervously behind his back. Or he’d have swallowed his laughter for fear they thought he was mocking them or even that he might be giving himself away. Concern about his condition, about people finding out what he was or people knowing and watching him with sharp, suspicious eyes had dogged every step of his life back then, for whether he’d wanted it to or not, he’d somehow always seemed to let it. And he’d said it didn’t bother him and he’d smiled and joined in with the jokes but it had nagged at him right up until the day that a slightly pregnant Nymphadora Tonks had looked him in the eye after he’d returned, shamefaced, from Grimmauld Place and told him he was getting downright neurotic about his condition and that he needed to stop worrying about other people’s opinions and start finding some of his own, for his child’s sake if nothing else. Being a werewolf would only ruin his life if he decided to let it. And he’d known then that she had been right.

It had been easier to laugh after that. And easier still when he’d found himself twenty years away from the memory of Greyback and the war, with his wonderful wife and a brilliant and emphatically not lycanthropic grown-up son, given back the job he loved and surrounded by people who insisted on treating him like either a friend or some kind of war hero. With the memory of his strange reappearance fading with the passing of fresh years, he’d started to feel almost ordinary. Days, almost weeks at certain phases of the moon, would go by when he wouldn’t even think about his condition. He knew that he could have no greater gift and every evening spent around a dinner table, chatting with Teddy about the latest shenanigans at Hogwarts or listening to Dora’s updates on her latest investigations, left him feeling more like a human being than he’d ever thought was possible.

He felt whole. And the Easter holidays and all it represented, the merging of work and family and all the ordinary little things that made his life so extraordinarily wonderful, was relaxing. He didn’t care if that made him figuratively barking or not.

With his Easter office hours tailored to match Dora’s schedule, he’d had a wonderful few days so far. Half had been spent tutoring a few of his uncertain students and one or two of his more conscientious – Rose Weasley really could be alarmingly like her mother – and fending off the latest gambits in James Potter’s unsuccessful but ongoing prank campaign to get one over on the last of the Marauders. The other half he’d spent with Dora, picnicking in the sunshine, shopping in Diagon Alley or just curled up together at home, enjoying the warmth and feel of each other and the comfort and passion of their love. It would have been nice if Teddy could have joined them, but his son had opted to whisk his girlfriend Victoire away to the magical quarter of Bruges for a few days to celebrate the rapid approach of his twenty-fourth birthday. It wasn’t often that Teddy’s Hogwarts commitments and Victoire’s apprenticeship at St Mungo’s fell so nicely into line and the young couple had been unashamedly eager for some private time.

Remus couldn’t blame them. Much as he loved his son, it was nice sometimes to have a little more time alone with his wife. And although he was looking forward to Teddy’s return that evening, he could also feel a strong tug of anticipation regarding his pending afternoon alone with Dora. Her annual Auror Department physical had thwarted their plans of a whole day together but she’d promised him that on the stroke of midday, she would be waiting in the Three Broomsticks and most emphatically all his. The possibilities that had danced in her dark eyes as she’d winked over her shoulder and headed out of the door had occupied his thoughts for most of the rest of the morning.

But his last batch of unmarked essays were calling and, with noon still over an hour away, Remus had felt compelled to answer. It was mostly uneventful; he’d noted that Columbine McMillan would most likely need an extra tutoring session on Dark Artefacts before her OWLs and James Potter’s essay had leapt up, folded itself into a paintbrush and made an emphatic but ultimately futile attempt to paint paisley patterns on his robes. Remus had Charmed it down without breaking a sweat and, with a small smile, wrote the words must try harder in red ink at the bottom. He’d always tried to encourage innovation and James was nothing if not imaginative. Remus rather looked forward to the day when he would actually be caught out. He strongly suspected Harry would be quite proud.

The pile went down quickly. His OWL students were a fairly competent bunch and their handwriting was only moderately challenging to interpret. The clock on the mantle of his fireplace marked the passing of minutes as the final hour before midday and whatever delights his wife had in store for him slipped away, quarter past, what would she be wearing – Sebastian Hardcastle, good understanding of curse breaking theory – half past, where would they go - Agrippina Gamp, a little too focussed on the placing of curses, rather than their detection or removal – quarter to, what would they do - Isis Forest, excellent work, well thought out – and so it was that he was just rounding off his final comments on June Boot’s missive – well written but lacking a little in detail – and wondering what shade his wife’s hair was likely to be when he rather abruptly got an answer.

The door to his office burst open. There stood Dora, her eyes wide, her face pale and her hair limp and alarmingly brown. She stared at him in mute horror for a moment, before launching herself abruptly into the room. He barely had time to get up and out from behind his desk before she flung herself into his arms.

“Oh, Remus!� she exclaimed, burying her head into his shoulder as her brown locks ticked his cheek and nose. “Oh Remus, I’ve really messed up!�

Alarm was coursing through Remus in chilly waves as he tightened his grasp upon his wife. Was it about this afternoon? Did she have to work after all? But surely she wouldn’t be so upset about a scheduling mix up…

Well, all he could do was ask. “Messed up what?� he said gently, if a little urgently against the top of her head. “What on earth’s the matter?� The cold turned abruptly glacial. “Is this about your physical? Did they find something wrong? Dora!�

“It’s not wrong, exactly.� Her tone of voice, muffled as it was by her face being pressed against his neck, nonetheless offered no comfort. “But it’s stupid and my fault and it’ll affect everything and I’ll have to stop work again and I know we talked about it and said that we probably would someday but we’d have to talk to Teddy, but we haven’t and no matter what he says I know he’ll be upset and…� She huffed sharply against his skin before launching herself back into babble. “Oh, this is all my fault! I thought that potion tasted a bit funny when I drank it, do you remember, I said! But you were sat there looking so bloody sexy and it was the last bottle I had and I convinced myself it would all be fine…�

“Dora!� Remus’ sharp exclamation was enough to lift his wife’s head, her dark eyes meeting his and spilling out such a vivid confusion of emotions that it almost made his head spin. “For goodness sake, please tell me what’s wrong!�

He saw it. He saw the answer in her eyes an instant before her lips parted and softly said again the words that had once rocked his world to its core.

“I’m pregnant.�

There was a definite judder. His world gave a distinct lurch but this time the shocked surprise gave way not to the swamp of fear and self blame that had so cruelly swallowed up the half-second’s worth of soaring joy he’d felt before but to a sudden dawn of stunned happiness. It was true they had discussed having another child, but Dora was so happy in her career and knowing that they now had all the time in the world had taken away any kind of urgency they might have felt. He’d been more than content to wait until she decided she was ready.

But the wait was over, whether they’d intended it to be or not.

Pregnant.

A baby.

A baby he’d get to see grow up, rather than meeting again fully grown after a few seconds of bright red light had swallowed up twenty whole years…

He started to smile but one look at the outright miserable look on his wife’s face halted its progress sharply.

“And that’s… bad?� Remus sensed this was a venture into troubled waters but it had to be done – it was with no small amount of irony that he realised that the last time this scene had played out, their roles had been almost exactly reversed. “I know it’s unexpected but I’m certain Harry will be more than happy to make every accommodation with your work if…�

“This isn’t about work!� Five years of marriage had left Remus more than used to being regarded as though he was an idiot, but on this occasional he couldn’t help but feel that she was being a little unfair, especially since her logic had apparently wandered well out of his range of husbandly detection and was probably legging it over a fence a hundred miles away by now. “This is about Teddy!�

Yep, over the fence and heading for the horizon… “Teddy?�

“Yes, Teddy!� A small fist thumped against his chest. “How do you think he’s going to feel about this?�

It was possible that the sudden surge of happiness running rampant through his brain had interfered with his usually more accurate ability to interpret Dora’s direction of thought. The word hormones did flit across his mind, but he also knew with a grim certainty that if it crossed his lips, he wouldn’t be making any more babies for many years to come. Bravely, he waded into the confusion.

“I would imagine… happy?� he ventured.

“Oh, he’ll say he’s happy.� Abruptly Dora pulled herself out of his grasp, striding halfway across the room before wheeling on one heel to face him. Luckily, she regained her balance after only a couple of seconds of flailing. “I know him. He’s like you.� A finger stabbed in his direction almost accusingly. “He won’t want to upset us so he won’t admit it! He won’t admit how he feels! Remus, barring accidents, misfortunes or fate being even more a bastard than it’s already managed, we are going to have this baby and raise it all the way to adulthood!�

“Well, that’s the normal arrangement…�

“But not with Teddy, was it? We weren’t there for him!�

Aha… The logic had slipped in around the back door and finally come knocking. The old guilt, that he hadn’t been there for Teddy, that leaving him to go and fight had cost them twenty years together, rose briefly to stab at his heart and knew at once that Dora’s assassin was far more potent. She’d come to terms with those lost years in the end but he knew that no matter what anyone said to her, she’d never quite forgiven herself…

“I mean, how’s he going to feel?� Dora ran one anxious hand through her limp hair as she paced in a nervous little circle. “Seeing us with a baby, raising a child, sharing all those little moments we didn’t share with him! We couldn’t have that with him so we’ve brought in a reserve? He’ll feel like we can’t love him as much because we didn’t teach him to walk or talk or wave him off to school! He’ll feel like he’s being abandoned. He’ll feel like he’s being replaced!�

There was really only one thing that Remus could reasonably do. He strode over and engulfed his wife in another hug.

“I never thought I’d be the one saying this to you,� he said affectionately. “Especially since it’s usually your job to poke me about it. I think you’re over thinking this.�

Dora buried herself back into his chest once more. “Remus, I couldn’t stand to hurt him,� she whispered, her voice betraying the resurgence of deeply buried anxieties. “I let him down so much when I left him to fight. He lost the chance to be our little boy. I can’t be happy at his expense, I just can’t…�

“You won’t be.� Remus tightened his hold. “I know him too. He knows how much we missed having the chance to raise him. He knows how much we love him now. And he knows that nothing will ever change that.�

“But we’ll be flaunting what he didn’t have with us! He’ll feel left out!�

“Then we won’t let him. We’ll prove that we love him as often as we need to. And Dora, I think you’re forgetting. There’s more than just the three of us to think of now. The new baby – what about his or her feelings about being raised in the shadow of a brother that mummy feels she let down? We can’t slight one to please the other – in either direction. Teddy would never resent us happiness – he sacrificed a career he loved so that we could have this life! And he would hate it more than anything else if he thought he was in some way responsible for ruining our joy.� Gently, he tilted her head so that her dark eyes could not escape his and pressed his lips softly against hers. “We’ll be a family, Dora, a bigger family, with all the hang-ups and issues that come with it. But we’ll manage. And I know that our Teddy will love being a big brother.�

A hint of a smile curved across Dora’s lips. “I suppose he will. I can just see him holding our baby and playing games and singing songs…�

Remus smiled in spite of himself. “You know, the way he and Victoire are going, it probably won’t be long until we’re gra…�

A finger slapped down across his lips, cutting off the rest of his sentence. Dora glared up at him sharply.

“Don’t say it! We do not use the g-word! I am too young for the g-word!�

He was risking life, limb and a night on the sofa, but Remus really couldn’t help himself. “Well, you could always go with Nan instead…�

The beating of fists against his shoulder stopped after about twenty seconds, with no real bruises but to his pride, to Remus knew she hadn’t really meant it. It was a strange thought though. In years lived, he was just venturing into the murky waters of his early forties, a little late, if not excessively old for second-hand fatherhood and early, but not ridiculously, for grandchildren. But technically, in years passed since his birth, he was knocking around sixty and grandparenthood was nothing to be ashamed of. But Dora was physically not even thirty yet. To have a smiling little face call her grandma seemed outright silly.

Mummy, however…

A baby. They were having a baby…

“We’re having a baby.� The words slipped out almost unbidden and oh yes, Dora was actually smiling, smiling with him and the joy reached up to her eyes…

“I know,� she whispered slipping her arms back around him. “And I am happy. I really am.�

“Me too.� He rested his head against her hair, noting the small strands of pink and purple that were creeping their way up from her crown as he closed his eyes. “And Teddy will be too, I promise. We can tell him tonight. I’m sure that he will…�

“Dad!�

Remus jumped about a foot and he was certain that it was only his grip on Dora that prevented her from taking a violently startled tumble. Wheeling sharply, he stared at the green flames that had burst into life unheeded in his fireplace and found the disembodied head of his son staring back at him with wide eyes and pale cheeks. If it were not for the vivid turquoise of his hair, he would have been almost the image of his mother when she had first rushed through the door what seemed like an eternity ago.

Remus found his mind racing. What had they just said? How much had Teddy heard? They’d wanted him to know, but not like this…

“And Mum too!� A nervous smile flashed briefly across Teddy’s features. “You’re both here! That’s great! That’s… two birds with one stone… that’s…�

Oh, not again. Rather babbled out, Remus decided to cut to the chase. “Teddy! I didn’t think you were back until tonight. Is something wrong?�

Teddy shook his disembodied head, eyes flicking from one parent to the other almost anxiously. But he couldn’t know, we’ve barely found out ourselves, and I was so sure he wouldn’t mind…

“I’m not back. I’m still in Bruges, but I borrowed a Floo. I needed to talk to you – well, one of you, and I didn’t know where Mum would be so I… Well you’re both here and that’s great! It’s great!�

Dora looked as bewildered as Remus felt as she exchanged a glance with her husband. “We’re flattered, Teddy, but it couldn’t have waited a couple of hours? You said you’d be back by six…�

“I know, I know! And I can’t be long, Victoire’s outside and she doesn’t know I’m doing this but I’ve decided I want to and this is the place I want to do it, but I couldn’t just go ahead without talking about it with you because it’ll affect you too. The thing is…� Teddy paused a moment, puffing his cheeks as he took several what must have been very smoky breaths. “I’ve decided to propose to Victoire.�

And with Dora’s guilt stricken logic still wedged in his mind, Remus saw at once where Teddy’s words were heading. And she says he takes after me…

“But of course that means we’ll be getting a place of our own and I’ll be moving out and we’ll maybe even be having children of our own in a few years time. But the three of us – well, we’ve had relatively little time together as a family and the last thing I wanted you to think was that I was abandoning you or leaving you behind because I’ve got something better, because that’s not the case at all. I love you both so much and we lost so many years we should have had together and I can hold off asking her for a while if you think it hasn’t been enough…�

Remus couldn’t help himself. He burst out laughing.

Teddy stared at him with bewildered horror. Dora regarded him rather more wryly.

“Sorry, Teddy,� Remus heard her say. “I think your dad is formulating some manner of hysterical statement on how very alike we are.�

“I am indeed.� Still grinning broadly, Remus reached out and took his wife’s hand as they dropped as one to a crouch in front of the fireplace and their son’s confused face. “Teddy, for goodness sake, you don’t have to worry about us. In fact…� He glanced at Dora and revelled for a moment in her suddenly radiant expression, at yet another strange new beginning for their strange little family. “I think there’s something you ought to know…�

THE END

Counting Legs Part One

A girl.

Remus couldn’t quite believe it. His eyes drifted once more down to the magical photograph that a smiling Hestia Jones had handed them just a few minutes before, watching as the small, half-formed, but nonetheless recognisably human little shape on the paper twitched and floated before his eyes. He could hardly believe that that same delicate little creature was alive and nestled at that very moment in the womb of his wife. And it was a girl. A daughter.

He was going to have a daughter.

His eyes ran over the picture once more, automatically and obsessively checking that his first assumptions on seeing this image projected above his wife’s bare stomach by Hestia’s scanning spell had been correct – there were indeed two arms and two legs, a head and a tiny little body curled up neat and cosy in it’s – in her – warm home. And when Hestia had imprinted the image onto paper for them and asked with a smile if they’d like to know the gender…

They’d had none of this with Teddy. Even if it had been safe for them to visit St Mungo’s during those turbulent times of war, the scanning spells, borrowed from Muggle ideas, had not developed until those post-war years when he and Dora had been – for want of a better word – absent. He hadn’t even known that he was having a son until a perfect, fuzzy-crowned, warm little bundle had been lowered into his arms for the first time and looked up at him with those big eyes…

And now, there was going to be another. A daughter.

Back in his youth, if someone had told him he would become a father even once, he would have simply laughed at them. The prospect of twice would likely have left him bitterly hysterical. And as for the idea of becoming a father to a little girl as his son was planning his wedding to Bill Weasley’s daughter…

He’d woken up that morning so uncertain as what his day would bring. Though Teddy seemed genuinely happy for them both at this turn of events, Dora continued to suffer from periodic bouts of guilt about enjoying the idea of this pregnancy and the prospect of another child when her experience with Teddy had been so different. She had confided to Remus the day before that she was worried that the pregnancy wasn’t really real to their son and that this scan might make it so. And if it was another boy, would he see him as some kind of replacement?

Remus, who had spoken privately to Teddy on that self-same subject, knew that his son did indeed feel sorrowful in regards to the upbringing they hadn’t shared but that he also knew far better than most that the past was the past and nothing could change what had happened. And Teddy was far too generous a soul to ever begrudge his parents happiness with a new child just because they hadn’t been able to share that with him, anymore than he would begrudge a sibling a share of their love.

But Dora had remained unsure, uncertain that she would be able to raise a new child, to give it the love it deserved without feeling guilty about the past, unable to enjoy the experience she couldn’t have with her first baby, right up until the moment when the delicate little image of her daughter had hovered before her eyes…

Remus had known then that it had not been Teddy for whom the pregnancy had not been really real…

It was a new start. For all three of them. For all four…

His eyes fixed once more upon the picture. A daughter…

“Oi!� As they stepped into the reception area of St Mungo’s, small fingers snatched the picture rather unceremoniously from his grasp as a shoulder barged playfully against his arm. “I’d like a look too, you know! You’d better not hog her like this once she’s born, Remus, I’m warning you… Poor little thing, she’ll probably end up cuddled to death…�

“I’d like to think there are worse ways to go.� In spite of the abuse, Remus was far too happy to turn to his wife wearing anything other than a broad smile. Dora beamed back at him as she fingered the picture herself, her cheeky smile fading into a kind of misty sentimentality that she rarely submitted to in public. Given her oft stated assertion that violet made her look peaky, Remus and Teddy had been surprised that morning at breakfast when Dora had appeared with her hair morphed into a vast sweep of purple curls. When questioned, she had simply grinned and declared that she was waiting to see whether blue or pink would be more appropriate, so for the time being, she was hanging out in between.

She was hanging no longer.

It had been a strangely magical moment, as he’d stared down at her, lying there on the bed, hypnotically watching the image she’d just been handed and listening to Hestia’s confirmation that it was indeed a girl. The change had started at the roots, a slow blossoming of pinkness like a trickle of water that spread throughout her hair, not of her usual bubblegum shade, but a gentle, pastel pink that had looped its way around her curls, softening them like down to rest against her shoulders as she stared at the image of their daughter with joyous awe writ large across her face. Framed as she still was by that gentle, almost hazy halo, her features almost seemed to glow.

They still did.

Dear Gods, I love that woman. My wife, the mother of my children…

He cleared his throat sharply against the lump that was forming there; to avoid making an embarrassingly emotional spectacle of himself in public, his eyes darted around to take in the usual orchestrated chaos that was the St Mungo’s waiting area. The lines of rickety wooden chairs were as crowded as ever with the usual interesting array of accidents – a thin, stooped old man on the far side of the room was arguing fiercely with a lime-robed healer as green fur sprouted wildly across the length of his body whilst another wizard in lurid red robes was pirouetting continuously on the spot whilst whistling The Blue Danube in a decidedly dizzy and sickly manner. A green-tinged man was crouched in a corner, pausing every so often to vomit something large, wriggling and silvery into an orange bucket and a pale faced witch who had only moments before stepped out of the nearby Floo, was shouting at her healer the top of her voice that she couldn’t really hear what he was saying because of the invisible bananas her sister had stuffed in her ears. His eye also fell upon several of his students who had apparently, in the four days since the Hogwarts term had ended, managed to find efficient ways to come a cropper. Sebastian Hardcastle, the lynchpin of the Gryffindor Quidditch Team, was covered in an array of vicious scratches and bruises that suggested he’d ploughed his broomstick into something foliage related. Elias Burke, a NEWT level student who he had told repeatedly not to try breaking the curses on items from his uncle’s shop over the holidays, was wearing his lack of eyebrows and writhing serpentine hair with as much dignity as he could muster in the face of his blatant disobedience. And Remus didn’t even like to speculate on how young Marion McCready had ended up with loaves of bread in place of her hands and feet.

Say what you would about visits to St Mungo’s, they were certainly never dull.

Not that any day when he first saw his daughter could ever be classed as such.

His eyes turned inevitably back towards the woman he loved more than life itself. Dora was still staring at the picture, one hand resting gently on her abdomen as though trying to fuse the two together in her mind.

“I wish Teddy had come today,� she said softly. “I’d like him to have shared this.�

Remus smiled quietly. How did I know that would be coming? “He will. But he and Victoire have barely had any time to start planning their wedding because of the Hogwarts exams and her apprenticeship here and I don’t blame him for wanting to take advantage of his first few days off to get a few things sorted before the women in his life burst from impatience. From what Bill’s told me, Victoire, Fleur, Molly and Andromeda have already picked out everyone’s dress robes from Madam Malkin’s and are chomping at the bit to haul us all in for a fitting.� He chuckled. “Poor Teddy. He seems so daunted by the whole business. I told him elopement was the way to go, but would he listen?�

Dora actually giggled, much to his relief. “And it’s a family tradition too. My parents did it, his parents did it…� She started to smile more widely. “I think my mum’s thrown herself into this so heartily in an effort to make up for the fact that’s she’s never had a real family wedding before! And to be honest, rather her than me!� She gave a mock shudder. “I hate all that girly fussing! Looking at recipes with Molly, dress designs with Fleur, picking shoes, choosing flowers… Nightmare territory.�

“It’s lucky you’ve been excused on grounds of a prior commitment then.� Remus gently touched his fingers to her stomach, causing her smile to bloom further. “Mind you, the way Teddy and Victoire are going, I doubt it’ll be all that long before they’ll here at St Mungo’s looking at scans of their own. And we won’t just be parents then, we’ll be…�

“Oi!� Yet again, Remus’ shoulder was viciously abused. “I’ve warned you, Lupin. We do not use the g-word in the presence of any biologically under thirties, whether it should apply or not.�

Remus couldn’t help but laugh. “All right then. For the time being, we’ll just stick with mummy.�

The same strange, wistful look that had become so familiar to Remus over the course of this pregnancy flitted across Dora’s face. “Mummy,� she muttered softly. “I’ve never been mummy. Teddy wasn’t old enough to call me anything when…�

She broke off into sudden silence as Remus quietly laid his arm around her shoulders. She glanced up at him, her dark eyes a turbulent cocktail of joy and regret.

“Remus, I’ve been thinking,� she said suddenly. “About names.�

Remus gently cocked an eyebrow. “Well, it’s a little early, but since we know the gender, I guess there’s no reason not to start thinking. Do you have one in mind?�

“Not really.� Dora pursed her lips, staring out over the chaotic room with a stare distant enough to imply that she hadn’t even noticed the ballet-wizard, or the furry old man or even the man with eight enormous spider-like legs protruding from a hunch on his back who had just stumbled out of the green-glowing fireplace to be received by a rather wide-eyed healer. “But I do have a suggestion. Why don’t we let Teddy name her?�

Remus had to admit to being a little taken aback, if not unpleasantly. “Teddy?�

“Yeah, Teddy.� Dora’s expression was intent. “I wanted to give him a tangible connection to her, you know? I mean, she’ll be his sister, but there’ll be twenty-four years between them in age and it won’t be the same, especially now he’s moving out…� She sighed. “I want to make sure they bond. I want him to feel included in her life. He’s her brother, so he can hardly be her godfather, but I thought if he was the one to name her…�

Remus gently tightened his hold around her shoulders. “I think that’s a lovely….�

“Sweet Merlin, it’s alive!!! �

The piercing scream shattered the familiar chaos, ripping away whatever else it was that Remus had been about to say. The healer who had screamed was stumbling, scrambling back, groping for her wand and suddenly, she wasn’t the only one as patients and healers alike erupted to their feet en masse and surged backwards, sending wooden chairs, magazines, light globes and the poor, beleaguered pirouetter flying in all directions. Remus barely had time to yank Dora back against the wall before the crowd slammed passed them like a surging tide, scrabbling over each other, yanking and screaming as they tried to force themselves as one through the double doors into the narrow corridor beyond. Robes, hair, arms and faces slashed their way across Remus’ vision, barging and buffeting him as he clung to his wife, shielding her as best he could from sudden battering of limbs, cloth and bizarrely, wet fish from the man who had until moments earlier been vomiting his trout more privately.

What the hell was going on?

A more sensible man would probably have joined the crowd without waiting to see what had spooked them. But Remus had spent too long as a lynchpin of the Order of the Phoenix not to keep his head when all around were losing theirs and he knew that fear for her baby or not, Dora’s finely honed Auror instincts would stay her just the same. His fingers tightened around his wand. If there was trouble, he was staying.

Of course, it was always useful to know what in Merlin’s name you were up against.

Something black and hairy flashed through the gaps in the flailing limbs. Still shielding himself and his wife from flying hands and scrambling fingers, Remus peered desperately through the insane stampede in search of danger. A flare of emerald caught his eye – whipping his head round, he caught a glimpse of a silver-haired, narrow-faced man in shabby clothes diving forwards towards the fireplace. As the flash of Floo powder illuminated his face in vivid emerald, Remus just had time to place him as the man who had appeared moments before with spider legs across his back. But there was something else about him, something more, half forgotten, something naggingly familiar…

But there was no time to ponder it. With a tight grin, the man leapt into the flames and vanished.

But as the last of the crowd thinned, Remus realised that the spider’s legs he had arrived with did not. And nor indeed did the spider’s body.

“Oh bloody hell, � he heard Dora mutter fervently.

Well. That certainly explains the screaming and the running away…

The Acromantula was balanced precariously between the desk of the Welcome Witch and several of the overturned chairs, clearly slightly thrown by the massed chaos that had marked its arrival. It was perhaps three quarters-grown but a ten-foot leg span was still nothing to scoff at and its multiple eyes were swivelling after the fleeing hordes as though unable to decide whether to follow.

But not everyone had fled. The green-furred old man, tangled in clumps of his ever-growing mane, was crouched in the corner by the glass pane of the public entrance, clinging to the robes of his now frantic healer and screaming. And from the floor in front of them came a clatter and a painful wail as the pirouetter, knocked to the ground in the chaos, continued his helpless rotations lying prone amongst the scattered chairs.

Eight eyes swivelled in all directions, drinking in the scene as the last of the patients who were able to fled clear. An ominous clicking echoed across the room almost drowning out the frantic tumbling beat of Remus’s blood against his ears.

Dora. My daughter. And we’re in a room with an Acromantula.

An upset and angry Acromantula.

Where’s Hagrid when you need him?

They could have fled. The door was not far enough away to make it unreasonable. But Remus knew more than enough about dark creatures to realise what would be the fate of the three left behind if he did.

And as for Dora…

Well, it was worth a try at least.

“Get out!� he flung back sharply.

“Get stuffed!� was the immediate response.

Saw that one coming. And she knows I haven’t time to argue…

One long, hairy leg arched down towards the floor as the clicking sounds redoubled, echoing around the near deserted reception. The pirouetter screeched as a second leg arched over to brush almost lovingly down the length of his ever rotating body…

“Stupefy!�

“Petrificus Totalis! �

Their rapidly flung spells struck the beast almost simultaneously, but to little impact – whilst Remus’ stunner drove it back only a few yards, Dora’s Body-bind struck the extended leg, causing it to stiffen in an awkward, painful looking arch. The creature screeched and lunged towards them with shocking speed, but a burst of flames from Remus’ wand tip sent it staggering, rearing backwards with an unearthly scream. Gritting his teeth, Remus increased the intensity of the flame, desperate to drive it away before it could pounce onto any or all of its potential victims.

“Accio spinning bloke! �

Even in spite of the gravity of the situation, Remus had to fight not to smile. Dora grabbed the red blur of the beleaguered twirling wizard out of the air, hurled him back on his feet and with a mighty shove, propelled him like a human top through the double doors and into the corridor beyond. One civilian cleared, her wand flashed out and a surge of white light coalesced sharply into the form of her werewolf Patronus. After an instant’s hesitation, it surged through the wall and was gone.

Gone for the cavalry. Thank Merlin, because I don’t think I can…

With a sudden burst of speed, the Acromantula darted out of the way of the surge of flames and launched itself into the air. A spit of web against the ceiling was all it required to make it airborne and suddenly Remus’s vision was filled with black legs and a terrible screeching sound. He felt himself thrust backwards as pincers slashed just inches from his face, his body ricocheting sharply against the wall for an instant before a second hairy-legged blow send him flying into the scattered wooden chairs. He heard the sound the breaking wood beneath him; pain surged through his left arm as a chair splintered viciously against his skin, but he had no time to contemplate his injury as a black leg slammed down against the floor mere inches from his face. Light was blotted out in an instant as the enormous spider straddled his body, pincers clicking, maw widening as it dived in for the kill.

“No! �

The chair swung out of nowhere, striking the Acromantula with the force of an errant hurricane. The creature reared, legs flailing as wooden splinters filled Remus’ vision and with instinctive speed, he responded, grasping a broken chair leg and thrusting it upwards with all his might.

The result was not as satisfying as he might have hoped; the blow scuffed the spider’s side, spilling out a brief squirt of green ichor, but was enough of a distraction for him to scramble to his knees and shove his way out from its grasp. Small hands caught his robes, hauling him to his feet – he had time for one quick glimpse of Dora’s ice-white face and dark eyes staring at him with a mixture of relief and terror.

“Thanks!� he gasped out. “You…�

A flash of misty white skimmed past his head – reacting on instinct, Remus dove to the ground, pulling Dora with him as a vast dollop of webbing smacked against the wall behind them. A blur of black was quick to follow – slapping against the wall, the Acromantula launched itself violently around the edge of the room for a moment before hurling itself across the reception, skidding against chairs and magazines as it skittered towards fresh targets. The green-furred man’s scrambling had left his healer hopelessly tangled in his now three-foot loops of dark green hair but at the sight of an enormous spider bearing down upon them both, adrenalin galvanised him into action – grasping his charge firmly by the robes, he hurled them both bodily out through the rippling glass pane that led onto the Muggle street.

And with barely a hesitation, the Acromantula surged forwards and followed them.

Remus felt his jaw drop with horror. Oh, that is phenomenally not good…

Dora was already running forwards; in spite of knowing it was futile, Remus decided to give it one last try.

“Dora, you should stay…�

The look she shot over her shoulder was enough to still his tongue. “I’m pregnant, Remus, not an invalid!� she snapped back; it was only then that Remus realised that she was still clutching their precious picture of their daughter in one hand. “And I’m doing my job. Those Muggles need all the help they can get!�

She’s right. Even if…

But there was no more time to ponder it. Running forwards to join his wife, the couple surged through the glass pane together.

TO BE CONTINUED

Counting Legs Part Two by Jess Pallas

Fortunately, in the finest traditions of a British summer, the weather outside was dreadful. Slashing heavy rain had driven most of the shoppers that would usually have thronged this broad street inside and had reduced the visibility considerably. But it was still sufficient for Remus to see screaming figures abandoning their umbrellas and fleeing in a hail of splashing, to see cars swerving, hear horns blaring as the chaos spread. A red double-decker bus had screeched to a splashy halt half up the pavement perhaps ten yards down the road, crowded with bewildered faces pressed to misty windows and Remus caught a glimpse of a flash of green – the healer had just thrust his green furred charge onto the bus’s back platform. Wincing briefly at the job that would face the Ministry Obliviators as the Muggle passengers gaped, Remus forced himself to turn to the far more important issue.

Where the hell is the Acromantula?

An image of his late father, a former Ministry Exterminator, flashed across his mind. He had shared many nuggets of advice about his numerous captures with his son over the years and now seemed a damned good time for one of his pearls of wisdom.

What was it dad always used to say about creatures loose in towns? Oh yes. If all else fails, follow the screams…

A particularly loud screech rose from just down the street on his right.

Ah. That way.

Shoving aside an abandoned umbrella, Remus launched himself in the direction of the bus, trying to ignore the slip and slide of his feet on the damp, treacherous pavement and the vicious slap of heavy rain against his face as he raced towards the sound with Dora hot on his heels. As he raced past the stranded bus with only a started glance from its wild-eyed driver – Oh Merlin, I’m still wearing my robes! - a Muggle sandwich bar with big, glass windows loomed ahead, terrified customers knocking over tables as they scrambled back away from the giant black shape that had just slammed headfirst into the glass. The Acromantula shook itself, scraping one leg in apparent bemusement at the glass for a moment, before turning and leaping with shocking agility onto the windscreen of a small, blue Muggle car that had just screeched to a halt behind the desperately manoeuvring bus. The driver, a wild-haired young woman wearing red-rimmed spectacles, screamed powerfully and lurched back in her seat as the giant spider scrabbled at her windscreen, whilst her companion, a wide-lipped blonde in the passenger seat, in a move Remus considered foolhardy rather than brave, flung open the door and hurled herself up the pavement and into the sandwich bar just inches ahead of the scuttling black legs that darted after her. Customers and staff in the bar immediately rallied as they chucked chairs and tables against the hurriedly slammed door en masse and the Acromantula, after a few more futile moments to break in, decided that there was easier prey to be had and with a damp skid, wheeled and launched a great flock of webbing across the floundering red bus’s rear end, tangling the wheels impossibly and locking it in place.

This is not going well.

The Statute of Secrecy, at least in regards to furry green wizards and giant man-eating spiders, had been blown right out of the water already, but using blatant magic on the street was still something that Remus desperately wanted to avoid. But the sudden appearance of the car had given him another option.

The driver was still pinned to her seat, terrified, moving only to reach out and slam the abandoned passenger door closed. She had no room to manoeuvre – a large silver 4x4 had careened to a stop behind her, followed by a white transit van, cutting off any option to reverse. Even as he heard Dora screaming at some nearby gawpers that she was Police and everyone was to clear the area now, Remus acted. The sleep spell and the cushioning charm he threw at the poor driver took effect immediately, even as he wrestled with the spells to rev up the Muggle engine. Sirius’ highly illegal experiments with his motorbike had given Remus a basic working knowledge of Muggle automotives and he knew just what components he needed to turn the stalled engine back on.

Oh, I am going to get in so much trouble for this! But if it stops anyone getting eaten…

The engine roared into life. And then, with a burst of speed, the blue car thrust forwards and slammed into the Acromantula, hurling it brutally into the bus’s rear end.

A harsh braking charm was enough to ensure that the car did not follow, but Remus was already running as the giant spider bounced and rolled across onto the other side of the road, scrabbling, legs waving over the top of a green car as it whacked against a parking meter and tumbled onto the opposite pavement. A few bravely stupid gawpers on the far side of the street who had ignored Dora’s strident cries, turned and fled out of the way as long legs scratched at the air in search of purchase; they found it as another slash of web thrust out, securing itself to the dark front of a Waterstones book shop as the Acromantula landed with a thump on the side of the building. The Sticking Charm that Dora hurled after it from behind the concealment of the bus secured it for an instant to the old-fashioned hanging sign, but a brutal yank of one leg was enough to wrench the sign from its fastening, dragging it along with a vicious battering sound as the giant spider turned and skittered away along the shop fronts. A moment later, to Remus’ weary horror, it leapt down once more, narrowing missing a Muggle Police officer as he dived for cover in Woolworths before it hurled itself onto the roof of the now abandoned white transit van and cast around through the heavy rain in search of fresh prey.

“Remus!� Dora’s pale face appeared sudden and breathless by his side. “There! Look!�

For an instant, Remus was unable to spot quite what had caught her attention so avidly. But then his eyes fell upon a reasonably sized delivery van parked at the entrance to a narrow side street by a furniture shop perhaps twenty yards away, apparently abandoned, half unloaded as its driver fled. The back door was wide open and gaping.

A perfect trap.

“I’ll spring it, you close it!�

It took perhaps a second too long for Dora’s words to register in Remus’ brain. His hurried “No, Dora, wait! � came far too late; spitting curses he hurled himself after her as she rushed up past the Acromantula, jumping up and down and waving her arms.

“Oi, hairy boy, you hungry? Well, come on then! Come and get me! Nice fat haunch of Auror, right here!�

Acromantulas were reasonably intelligent as dark creatures went and one treacherous part of Remus couldn’t help but hope that the monster would be too smart to take this tempting bait. But with almost all the Muggles now safely behind glass shop windows, its menu for fresh meat was sadly limited. Hunger outweighed common sense in the arachnid’s mind.

The Acromantula struck.

The burst of web missed Dora by inches as she flung herself to the ground – the spider hurled itself through the air towards her, legs extended, pincers clicking but Remus was far too fired up to miss his target and his stunning spell hurled the Acromantula with a turbulent thud into the pile of furniture. Dora’s wand lashed out and suddenly the door was descending at a shockingly rapid rate. One hairy leg lashed out, but the descending door was too fast, severing half the limb with a shocking crunch and a spurt of green blood. The van rocked violently as the Acromantula within reacted with understandable ire to its wounding and confinement, but as Remus rushed over, he couldn’t have given as Kappa’s arse about how the creature was feeling. He only had eyes for his wife.

His pregnant wife. Carrying his daughter.

Who’d just risked her life and been thrown to the ground on several occasions.

Why did I let her come? Why didn’t I stun her and leave in reception? Dear Gods, if anything’s happened to either of them…

He caught her arm as she pulled herself to her feet, wrapping his arms around her and burying his face in her soft pink hair. Suddenly, he became painfully aware of just how much his left arm was throbbing under his blood-spotted robes, of how frantically his heartbeat was pounding in his ears, of how sharp and hard the raindrops that had soaked them both from head to foot were falling and how wet his feet were as they stood together, soaking up the contents of the puddle in the flooded gutter with their shoes. He could feel her heartbeat mingling with his, heard her sigh as she settled against his chest and in spite of the fact that his brain was screaming at him to scoop her up, rush her back to the red brick shop front of Purge & Dowse and get her checked out immediately by as many healers as he could get his hands on, some part of him simply seemed to know that everything – everyone – involved in that embrace was still okay.

“Don’t you ever do that again!� he commanded hoarsely. He felt rather than heard her chuckle against his chest.

“What, offer myself up as lunch to a raving Acromantula in the middle of a busy Muggle street? Not planning on it, Remus.�

Over the tumbling of the rain and joint pounding of three heartbeats, Remus suddenly became aware of distant sirens, of the sound of doors opening, voices muttering, footsteps emerging. He opened his eyes.

Muggles. Everywhere.

With camera-phones.

Oh dear…

“I’m not sure there are enough Obliviators in the world to cover this,� he muttered softly. “I’ll probably be apologising to Harry for the rest of my life. How are they ever going to hush this up?�

Dora glanced up from within the cradle of his arms. “They’ll think of something. Though they’d better get here soon.� She glanced around once more at the vast seas of faces emerging into the pouring rain. “Otherwise nothing’s going to keep the evening news from reporting the stories of a bunch of shoppers who got saved from a giant spider by a pink-haired policewoman and a mad transvestite…�

* * *

It was approximately four hours later that Harry Potter finally reappeared, weary and frazzled looking, in the hospital room where Remus and Dora had been checked over for injuries a little while before. Both had been sitting quietly by the window watching as the Muggle street below slowly returned to normal activity once more, Remus rubbing his still tender arm and Dora resting her hands securely on her stomach, until the opening door and Harry’s tired smile drew their attention away from the clean up.

“How are you both?� he queried immediately. “How’s the baby?�

Dora smiled and patted her belly. “She’s fine. Probably didn’t feel a thing, lucky blighter.�

Rather touchingly, Harry’s expression softened noticeably. “She?�

Remus couldn’t help but smile. My daughter… “We didn’t really have a chance to mention it earlier. But yes. It’s a girl.�

Harry’s smile was broad. “Congratulations. You must be thrilled.�

“Moderately thrilled, yes.� Remus grinned as his wife elbowed him, muttering something about how long it had taken her to pry the photo off him. He gestured to the window. “But it all got rather overshadowed by chasing an Acromantula through Muggle London.�

“I can imagine.� Harry frowned, pushing his glasses back up his nose with a sigh. “It took ages to straighten everything out – getting that Acromantula shipped off to somewhere secure, shifting the webbing, charming the CCTV and the phone footage, fixing the damage to the shops and the vehicles – and yes, Remus, I did fix that woman’s car for her like you asked,� he added, forestalling the question he must have seen hovering on his former teacher’s lips. “I’ve also conveniently forgotten that you told me you charmed a Muggle object, so don’t bring up it again, okay?� He took a deep breath. “The poor woman was in a state though and as for the shoppers…� He shook his head. “I’ve never seen a team of Obliviators have to work so hard. By the time they were done, they’d Memory-Charmed upwards of one hundred people.�

Dora sat up straighter, her nose adorably wrinkled. “What in Merlin’s name did they make them think had happened? They couldn’t have done anything complex to that many Muggles.�

Harry grinned slightly. “As far as they’re concerned, they’ve just witnessed an irresponsible publicity stunt by a team of shock-tactic guerrilla artists trying to make a name for themselves by using a giant, fake, radio-controlled spider puppet to wreak havoc in central London.� He chuckled slightly. “It’s a good thing you were there, you know, Tonks. Having someone with pink hair rushing about in the midst of the chaos immediately helped people think it was some mad art students pulling a stunt. After all, everyone knows pink hair is linked to subversive types like that…�

Dora snorted. “And proud to be so. But will they really believe that?�

Harry shrugged. “It’s worked before. An Acromantula got loose in Liverpool quite a few years back and the Obliviators managed to convince everyone that it was a giant puppet taking part in a culture festival. They even faked some footage for the news.� He pulled a face as he dropped back into a convenient chair. “Tell you what though. I’m ruddy knackered. �

Remus couldn’t help but squirm. “Harry, I really am very sorry about all this trouble…�

“Remus!� Harry rather abruptly cut him off, though his smile was tinged as much with fondness as irritation. “How many times am I going to have to say this? You did the best you could in an impossible situation. And you made sure no one was killed. That was what really mattered and we’re all very grateful for it. So stop beating yourself up.� He shook his head slightly, his expression darkening. “Save your recriminations for the git who did this.�

Remus couldn’t help but notice that his wife immediately sat up straighter at the mention of the perpetrator. Nymphadora Tonks might be a wife, a mother and a Metamorphmagus, but she was also an Auror right down to the bone.

“Any leads?� she asked intently.

Harry sighed and shook his head. “We’re trying to trace to Floo connection but St Mungo’s gets so many connections a day, it’s hard to single the right one out. Kevin Anderson from the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures questioned the Acromantula earlier with Zenobia Moon. It wasn’t exactly feeling co-operative but they did manage to establish that it was drugged and taken from the Forbidden Forest sometime in the last few weeks and kept locked up and starved; that’s why it was so keen for a meal. The reason it didn’t eat the git who carried it in was that he’d put some kind of spell on it that wasn’t broken until that healer tapped it with her wand. The poor woman thought it was a Transfiguration accident until it rose up and leapt at her…�

Dora was slowly shaking her head. “Why would anyone do that? What kind of sick bastard brings a hungry Acromantula to a hospital?�

“I’ve no idea,� said Harry darkly, his expression grimly determined. “But I intend to find out. Want to be on the case, Tonks?�

Dora gave a grim little laugh. “Try and stop me.�

Remus briefly considered protest, but decided that he valued his life too much to try. Instead, he focussed on the matter in hand. “Could you find any matches for the description the healer and I gave you?�

Harry grimaced slightly. “We found a few. We’ve got the healer looking at pictures and we’re checking their alibis. If you could drop into the office tomorrow and take a look as well…�

Remus nodded, the image of the narrow-faced man flashing once more across his mind’s eye. “Of course. I just wish I could remember where I’ve seen him before. Because I’d swear I know him from somewhere…�

“Well, keep thinking.� With a groan, Harry rose to his feet, pausing a moment to pat first his fellow Auror and then his former teacher on the shoulder. “If it comes to you…�

Remus smiled gently. “I shall inform Auror Tonks immediately.�

“Thanks.� From the half-open door, Harry glanced back over his shoulder. “Go on home, both of you. And try and stay out of trouble, okay?�

Remus couldn’t help but smile. “Who’d have thought, Harry, after all these years since I was your teacher, that you would end up being the one to say that to me?�

Harry laughed out loud. “What can I say, Professor Lupin? You taught me well!�

As the door closed behind Harry, Remus pulled himself achily to his feet, holding out his hand so that Dora could follow suit.

“Well,� he said quietly. “Quite a day.�

Dora gave his arm a gentle shove. “You and your understatement, Lupin. Come on. We’d better get home before Teddy hears what’s happened on the Wizarding Wireless and comes out to hunt us down. Plus we need to tell him he’s about to have a little sister, not to mention that he needs to invest in a book of baby names. And what a story we’ll have to tell her about the day we got this!�

She held out the now slightly battered but still enchanting photo Hestia had given them earlier. It seemed like both seconds and a lifetime ago.

Remus held the door open politely as he ushered his wife through. His daughter. Now they knew. The day had started with the uncertainty of what nature of little life they would be guiding through the world six months from now and ended with the uncertainty of knowing there was a bizarrely familiar man on the loose releasing monsters into hospitals. But even an Acromantula chase through central London couldn’t change the fact that he was going to have a baby girl…

“You know,� he remarked blandly. “If Teddy can’t think of a name for her, I might have a suggestion. In honour of today.�

Dora’s pink head rose curiously. “Oh?�

“Mmm.� Remus felt the grin starting to spread across the corners of her lips in spite of himself. “How about Arachne…�

It took a couple of days for the bruises his wife inflicted on his shoulder to heal. But Remus considered them well worth it.

THE END