Remus,

I will be dropping by your house on Tuesday morning. There is a matter of grave importance I wish to speak with you about.

Sincerely,

Albus Dumbledore

Remus Lupin looked at the note in his hand. He knew this had something to do with Sirius. Remus set the note down on the kitchen table. He hadn’t answered the note; he knew from experience Dumbledore would show up at the door anyway. He had come to his family’s home even after his father had sent an owl back to him telling him Remus wouldn’t be attending Hogwarts and not to bother coming to the house.

Remus sighed and looked at the clock. The morning was half over and still no Dumbledore. Perhaps he isn’t coming, Remus thought. Perhaps, they have caught Sirius.

Remus didn’t know why his last thought would make him sad. Sirius deserved to be in Azkaban after what he did. However, something deep inside him still did not believe Sirius was guilty. He couldn’t see how he was innocent, but he couldn’t accept his guilt blindly either.

The knock on the front door brought Remus out of his internal debate on Sirius’ guilt or innocence. He stood and went to answer the summons, even though he had a feeling that his life was about to change.

“Good morning, Remus,” Albus Dumbledore said with a smile.

“Good morning, come in,” Remus said as he stepped back. Remus shut the door and turned back to Dumbledore. “Would you care for a cup of tea?” he asked politely.

“Yes, that would be nice,” Albus said, his smile never wavering. “Let us go into the kitchen and we can talk. I am glad you have finally returned from your wanderings.”

Over the past few years, Remus had spent little time in England. He found it difficult to gain employment in a society that knew he was a werewolf. He had travelled extensively throughout Europe working jobs for a few months then travelling on. He had only just returned a week ago to the news of Sirius’ escape from Azkaban.

Remus nodded. He didn’t know why after all these years, he still felt like a guilty schoolboy caught in some act of mischief. Sirius, he thought. Why does his escape make me feel guilty of something? He walked towards the kitchen and as he took another cup from the cupboard, one word leapt into his mind to answer his unspoken question, Animagus.

“I am here to discuss a very important matter with you,” Albus said as he sat down. “I am in need of your help.”

“My help?” Remus asked. “What could you possibly need my help with?” Remus hoped he was not about to be asked to go on the search for Sirius. He didn’t relish the idea of being in a position to decide on the fate of his oldest friend.

“Yes, your help. I know you are aware of Sirius’ escape from Azkaban-”

“I don’t know where he is,” Remus said cutting across Dumbledore’s words. He realised his quick response made him look like he did know something. This thought was further confirmed by Dumbledore’s raised eyebrow.

“No, of course you do not. I would assume that if you did know anything, you would have made such knowledge known.” Albus waited a few moments before continuing. “I am here because of his escape, yes, however, the matter I am here about concerns Harry.”

Remus had been about to take a sip of tea. He set the cup down with unsteady hands. “Harry? You don’t think...” He let the words trail off.

“I do not know what to think,” Albus said. “I am only concerned with protecting the child.”

“He is with his aunt and uncle still?” Remus asked.

“No, it seems Harry grows more and more like his parents every day. He is currently staying at the Leaky Cauldron.” Albus held up a hand to stop the question Remus opened his mouth to ask. “There was a...disagreement a couple weeks back at home and Harry ran away. He is safe and currently being watched closely. I am here to ask you to help me protect him.” Albus picked up his cup of tea and waited.

“I am not the best person to have protecting him,” Remus said ruefully. Remus shook his head. “What is he like?” he asked quickly, the question was out of his mouth before he could stop it.

“Ah, he is a surprisingly wonderful child,” Albus said. Again, he held up his hand. “His home life has not been an easy one. His safety prevents changing this part of his life, however, at school... Well, he has proven he will be a great wizard one day. So much like his father...”

“But he has Lily’s eyes, I remember that from...before,” Remus said sadly. He had not seen Harry since two weeks before James and Lily were killed. He had not allowed himself to seek him out and had never questioned that Dumbledore was taking every precaution with the child’s safety.

It was this trust in Dumbledore’s ability and reassurances that the boy would be safe that gave Remus the freedom to leave the country. He only admitted to himself a few months ago, his travelling had been a way of burying past memories. Now that he was home...

“Yes, but he looks just like James. His nature is that of both of his parents. He is kind and very gifted, although he has, like his father before him, a gift for finding trouble and dangerous situations.”

“Trouble? What do you mean by that? And what dangerous situations? I thought you were keeping him safe,” Remus accused.

“He is safe, as safe as I can keep him. He is a curious child who has found himself faced with several situations in which he has proven just how well he can take care of himself. But, we can discuss those later. You asked what I could need your help with, I believe? I would like you to take the post of Defence Against the Dark Arts professor. I, once again, find myself in need of one.”

“We can discuss those now,” said Remus angrily. “What situations has Harry found himself in?”

Dumbledore sighed. “Funny enough, both situations are connected with the previous two Defence teachers, though the second only in so much as he was useless. His first Defence teacher was Professor Quirrell. Unfortunately, in his year long hiatus, he found and was possessed by Voldemort.”

“Voldemort? You let Voldemort into the school?” Remus’ voice began to rise in his anger.

“Let him in, no, I dare say not. I was unaware of his presence. Perhaps I should have expected it with the Philosopher’s Stone being hidden in the school, but...well, regardless of blame, Harry faced him and proved victorious.”

“Harry fought Voldemort?” Remus asked incredulously.

“No, Voldemort does not yet have a body, he is more of a spirit being. When Professor Quirrell attacked Harry, Lily’s protection, her love again saved him. Harry survived with no more than a few bumps and bruises.”

“Somehow, I think there is much more to this story,” Remus said.

“Yes, perhaps the finer details, but moving on to last year,” Albus said firmly. “Last year the Chamber of Secrets was again opened.”

“I thought that was merely a legend. We looked for it...” Remus broke off at what he had just confessed.

“Ah, I thought you may have. No, it isn’t mere legend and through an enchanted diary, a student found and opened it. Once again, Harry and his friends found themselves right in the middle of the action, shall we say. Again, Harry faced Voldemort, though this time a memory come to life in the form of Tom Riddle.”

“A memory come to life? I don’t understand,” Remus said.

“I am only beginning to understand how that was possible myself. There are many forms of dark magic, many forms,” Albus said distractedly. “But as I said, Harry proved again he has powerful talents. Now, about my offer...”

Thoughts raced through Remus’ mind so fast, he could not even begin to make sense of them. A chance to go back to Hogwarts? The one place he could honestly say had given him some of the happiest moments of his life. A chance to see and get to know Harry? That was more than anyone could ask for. He could be there to protect him, the way he wasn’t for James. These thoughts were, of course, countered by the rational side of his brain. You would be a danger to the students and staff. It isn’t safe for you to be there.

Again, these thoughts were quickly followed by arguments: It was safe before, there are precautions we can take. To see Harry, to talk to Harry...

“I can see you are struggling with doubts and concerns,” Albus said kindly. “I can understand these, but there is another safety precaution we will be able to use that we did not have when you were in school.” Albus waited for a moment before continuing, “This time, you will have the benefit of the Wolfsbane Potion.”

“He will never agree to make it for me,” Remus said.

“He already has. And before you worry he will tamper with it, let me assure you, it will be made perfectly for you every month,” Albus said smiling. “Now, if there are no further objections...”

“I haven’t agreed to teach,” Remus said.

“Ah, but you will. I have arranged for you to take the Hogwarts Express with the students. I think that will be best,” Albus said.

“Teachers don’t usually take the train. Are you expecting trouble? Surely, Sirius wouldn’t...”

“No, no, I am not expecting Sirius to board the train. However, the Ministry has decreed that Dementors will be stationed around the school. I would not put it past the Ministry to have them search the train. A trained wizard would be prudent on the train should they decide to search it,” Albus answered.

“Yes, I can see your point,” Remus answered.

“Wonderful. I will see you at the Feast, then,” Albus said as he stood.

Remus sighed. He wasn’t sure his teaching was a good idea. “What about the parents?” he asked suddenly. “Surely they would not want someone like me teaching their children.”

“I am not worried about the parents. The Governors have agreed, and after all, it is my decision.” Smiling, Albus turned and walked out of the kitchen.

Remus stood and nodded. He followed Dumbledore out of the kitchen and opened the door for him. “I trust you know what you are doing,” he said.

“That I do, that I do,” Albus said. Shaking Remus’ hand, he walked out into the night.

Remus closed the door and stood there wondering how Dumbledore had convinced him to return to Hogwarts. He went back into the kitchen and as he walked he cleared his mind of all thoughts. He carefully took the cups and teapot to the sink and washed them. The only thing he concentrated on was the act of washing the dishes. Rinsing them, he placed them on a towel to dry. He then opened the cabinet and took out a glass and the bottle of Firewhisky.

He placed them on the table and then walked out of the kitchen. He went up to his bedroom and opened the closet door. Reaching up, he pulled out the box from the shelf. He held it for a moment, indecision warring with his mind’s need to remember.

Closing the closet door, he retraced his steps back to the kitchen. He set the box down on the table and poured a glass of Firewhisky. Drinking it down in one, he set the glass down and refilled it. He sat down and stared at the box, still unsure if this was a good idea.

Taking a deep breath, he pulled the box closer and ran his hand over the dusty lid.

***

“Remus, it isn’t just an empty box,” said Lily giggling, “it is place for you to keep all those pictures you have shoved everywhere around here.”

“But, Lily, they are fine the way they are,” Remus countered. “I don’t need a silly box.”

Lily just smiled and stood. She began picking up the scattered pictures and placing them in the box. Once she had found all the ones around the sitting room, she went upstairs to his bedroom. After several minutes she came back down and handed the box to Remus.

“There, now when you want to remember, all you have to do is open the box.”

***

“Just open the box she said,” Remus said out loud, “just open the box.” His hand moved on its own and pulled off the lid.

Inside were countless pictures from his years at Hogwarts. The first picture was of an eleven year old Remus posing with his mother next to the Hogwarts Express. He smiled remembering how his mother had coaxed his father into taking it.

Setting the picture aside, he pulled out several more. There was one of him and Peter standing arm in arm by the lake, the giant squid in the background. He set that one on the table with the other. He glanced quickly through the other couple in his hand, they weren’t the one he was looking for so they joined the others on the table.

He pulled the remaining pictures out of the box and in his haste, dropped them onto the floor. Sighing at his clumsiness, he slid from the chair and sat on the floor among the photographs. He pushed several aside, looking for that one picture�”a picture of the Order of the Phoenix.

He remembered the day it was taken, it was just before Harry’s first birthday. They had gathered together and someone had brought a camera. He remembered the laughter of trying to get all of them into just one picture.

He pushed aside a picture of James holding the Quidditch Cup and found a picture taken at James and Lily’s wedding. How happy they all looked. The photo barely captured the love radiating from James and Lily. He looked at the others captured for all eternity in this moment of bliss, himself, Sirius and Peter. The happiness radiated from each of their faces as well.

Shaking his head, he put the picture aside. He picked up the one next to it, and sighed. In the picture stood the four Marauders, arm in arm, smiling at the camera. He knew Lily had taken this picture shortly before they left Hogwarts. He remembered he hadn’t wanted to be in the photograph because the full moon had been only a few nights before.

***

“Come on, Moony. No one will even notice your bruises,” Sirius said as he pulled him in closer to James.

“If they do, we’ll just tell them Wormtail beat you up,” said James as he wrapped his arm around his shoulder.

“Okay, now, smile,” coaxed Lily. “This could very well be the last picture of you as Hogwarts students.”

***

And they did smile, it was hard not to when they were all together. It was also as Lily predicted the last picture of them as students. Setting the picture down, he looked quickly for the one that was the counter to this one.

Finding it, he laid it side-by-side with the other. The first picture taken the night they had arrived at Hogwarts and retired to their common room. He couldn’t even remember who had taken the picture now, some seventh year who had said it was tradition to have a record of the first time in the common room.

I wonder if that is still a tradition? he thought as he continued his search. As he searched, he began to make piles, each pile pictures from a different year of school.

There were pictures of each of them separate and with each other. He knew instantly the pictures from their seventh year as Lily was often to be found close to James. The thought came out of the blue and stole his breath away.

Was that it? Was that the answer he had been searching for? The answer to the riddle of why?

He picked up the pile of seventh year photographs and quickly went through them, discarding most. Those with Sirius he spread out next to him. He picked up one of James, Lily and Sirius and studied it intently.

Was there jealousy in Sirius’ eyes?

Dropping it, he grabbed one of Sirius and Lily. The memory of this captured moment came swiftly and what little breath still trapped in his lungs exploded out of him.

***

But, Lily, my love, you must see the error of your ways,” said Sirius. “James Potter is not the man for you. Surely, you could do better.”

“I suppose you are going to tell me you would be better for me?” she said, laughter clear in her voice.

“Well, yes, but I wouldn’t object to you dating Remus, he would be good for you,” Sirius answered. “Anyone but James. Lily, don’t do this to me, please. I am begging you, don’t give in, don’t weaken,” Sirius pleaded.

“Sirius, I would think you would be happy for him,” Lily said, all trace of laughter gone from her voice replaced by wariness.

“Happy for him? Happy he is going to be all happy and gooey and love-sick?”

“Oh, it would be better if it was you or Remus who was that way?” Lily replied and now her voice was beginning to take on a more angry tone.

“Well, no, but see that is the beauty of going out with either of us, we won’t turn into blubbering fools,” Sirius said, confident he had finally made his point.

“Sirius Black, if I didn’t know any better, I would say you are jealous.” Lily leaned over and kissed Sirius and as she did, someone had captured the moment on film.

***

Again, Remus wondered if Sirius had, in fact, been jealous over Lily and the time James spent with her. No, he thought, Sirius was happy for them. He loved both of them. He knew it couldn’t stay just the four of us forever.

Ruffling through the remain photographs, Remus finally spotted the edge of the one he was looking for. Picking it up, he studied it closely. There were very few of the Order left. We were so young, so naive, too sure in our own ideals to ever see what was coming.

Oh, they all knew that any of them could die at any moment, but perhaps, they were a bit too over-confident in their abilities. He knew each of them was prepared to die to stop Voldemort, but the reality was not something any of them thought much about.

Frank and Alice Longbottom, last he heard, they were still in St Mungos. They would never recover. Marlene McKinnon, she died with her entire family shortly after this picture was taken. Dorcas Meadows, the Prewitts, Edgar Bones, Benji Fenwick, Carodoc Dearborn, the names came quickly along with another thought: Who else had a copy of this picture?

Remus’ fist connected with the floor as he realised there were several copies made. Mad-Eye had one, he had one, Peter had one as did...Sirius.

“NO!” he screamed. “No, no, no,” he chanted over and over again.

He betrayed James and Lily, he killed Peter and all those Muggles, why wouldn’t he have given Voldemort the picture? Proof of who was in the Order.

Remus looked down at the picture on the floor in front of him. He had dropped it when the realization of what that one moment of fun had cost them all. He didn’t move to pick it up. He was struggling with further proof of Sirius’ guilt.

After all these years, Remus still, even faced with new proof, found it hard to believe Sirius had done this. Remus could find no other explanation, no shred of reasonable doubt. Sirius Black had not only been responsible for the deaths of James and Lily, but he was also responsible for the deaths of many Order members. He killed Peter and all those Muggles in cold blood. Sirius Black had become a Death Eater.

Remus stood and grabbed the glass of Firewhisky. He had run from his memories, from facing the truth for twelve years and it had all just crashed down on top of him in one sudden burst of light. Sirius Black, friend and confident had betrayed them all.

He reached down and picked up the picture which showed him and Sirius, arm in arm, laughing over some joke or prank. How was this possible? Was there some clue this was happening? Had they just missed the signs of his traitorous ways?

Remus sank into the chair and refilled his glass. As he stared down into the amber depths, he tried to remember anything that could explain this.

He searched his memories but could find no hint, no trace of anything wrong. Yes, once they left school, they saw less of each other. But, that was because of the missions they went on for the Order. Sirius and James usually were still to be found together. If anyone would have cause to feel neglected by the rest, it would have been Peter. He had gone to work at the Ministry and had less time to devote to Order missions than the rest of them.

Whenever Remus had seen Sirius, he never seemed any different. He enjoyed going on missions, and revelled in fighting Death Eaters. He was always the first to volunteer for a mission, no matter how dangerous.

Was this to help the Death Eaters to escape? Remus wondered. No, he captured as many as any of the others, often more.

Remus glanced down at the photographs spread out over his kitchen floor. He knew the only way to find out the truth, the reasons why, was to talk to Sirius. He hadn’t even considered talking to him in the past twelve years.

At first, the hurt went too deep. The loss of all of his friends had sent Remus into a deep and dark depression. It was only by closing that part of his life away and leaving the country that he managed to survive. Now, he was back and facing the very real possibility of seeing Sirius that the carefully constructed walls came crashing down.

Remus rubbed his chest the pain crushing his ribs was very real. He had thought he had grieved and moved on, but this pain was proof he hadn’t. He stood and carefully picked up all the pictures placing them gently back into the box. He replaced the lid and picked it up. He would return this to its place on the shelf in his closet. He would close the door and lock the memories away again.

He had a job to prepare for. He needed to dig out the old class lessons he had once upon a time wrote. Back when he had thought that once Voldemort was defeated, he could apply for the very job he was about to begin.

As he began to pull files from his desk, he spotted the picture frame sitting there. He wasn’t in this photograph, in fact, he had been the one to take it. In the picture stood a big black dog, a large stag and sitting right in front of them, a rat. This was the only picture he had as proof of what his friends had done for him. Opening a drawer, he put the picture away.

He was alone, as he had been for the past twelve years. Wishing life had turned out different would not change anything. James, Lily and Peter were dead. Sirius was on the run and he was going to Hogwarts to protect Harry from his own godfather.