8:03 A.M.:

Peter Pettigrew woke to the pleasant sensation of warm sunshine streaming onto his face, warming the cold December air in the dormitory...

Sunshine. December. Crap!

Peter bolted upright in bed and snatched his wristwatch from his bedside table. Double crap! “Wake up, you morons! We're late! Wake up!�

Having sounded the alarm, Peter dashed into the bathroom to snag first shower. As he yanked a comb through his hair and flicked it out of his eyes impatiently, he did a quick visual sweep of the sink area and sighed.

“Which one of you animals left your junk out on the counter again? If it's still here in five seconds, I'm Vanishing it!�

“Don't you dare Vanish my toothbrush again, Wormtail!� Sirius shouted blearily. Through the bathroom door Peter could see his tousled black head still nestled in his bedclothes. “You're not my mummy,� he muttered.

“Leave him be, Wormy,� said James cheerfully as he pulled on his robes, having showered the night before, as he always did. “You're lucky the pig even brushes his teeth without you nagging him.� The last sentence was muffled, as James' head was obscured by his robes. He pulled them down all the way and ruffled his hair into its trademark state of disarray.

“I'm not a pig, you idiot, I'm a dog!� Sirius protested from beneath the covers.

“Right now you're more like a log,� Peter remarked. He pointed his wand at Sirius and concentrated.

Sirius yelped as he was suspended in midair by one ankle. “I'm up, I'm up!� he said wildly.

“So I see,� said Peter as James laughed at his friend. Sirius flailed around and clutched his bedpost in a futile attempt to free himself, succeeding only in causing his pyjama shirt to fall down over his face. At this point he floundered with all the more energy.

“I can't see! Let me down, dimwit!� he yelled urgently as he struggled with his shirt. “You know hanging upside down gives me the heebie-jeebies. I can't—effing—see--�

Peter relented and released Sirius, who hit the floor with a thud and another yelp. Peter sniggered and turned to James. “Where's Moony?� he asked.

“Where do you think?� James replied, pointing at the bed on the far right, where Remus was visible, if only in the form of a lump beneath the bedclothes. Peter shook his head incredulously.

“The man sleeps like the living dead,� he muttered, pointing his wand at his own throat. “Sonorus.� Peter crossed the room to Remus' bed and bent low over where he supposed his friend's head to be. “WAKE UP, MOONY!�

Remus startled dramatically and tumbled out of bed in a tangle of sheets and blankets. Peter jumped back and noted with bemusement that his assessment of the location of Remus' head had been mistaken; somehow Remus had completely reversed himself during the night, and the bulge Peter had thought to be his head had been, in actuality, his upended rear.

“HOW DO YOU—� Peter began, then cut himself off. He returned his voice to its normal volume and resumed. “How do you keep from suffocating under there?�

Remus muttered what may or may not have been a reply, and stumbled toward the bathroom. He changed direction abruptly when a very loud—albeit quite on-pitch—voice emitted from behind the closed door.

“GOD REST YE, MERRY HIPPOGRIFFS, LET NOTHING YOU--�

Three voices in unison shouted, “Silencio!�

10:35 A.M

Teenage boys are oftentimes like toddlers. They have two positions: high and off. Two and a half hours ago, James Potter had gone from off to high very quickly. Now as he sat at his sun-bathed desk in Charms class, he was firmly off again. Professor Flitwick's words drifted lazily in one ear and out the other as James pondered his upcoming lunch. No, two hours after breakfast was not too soon to be thinking about lunch, thank you very much.

Across the room, depressingly far away from James, sat Sirius. At first glance he appeared to be staring intently at the professor, but closer examination revealed that his eyes were glazed over, and he was slumped so far down in his seat that he resembled not so much a human being as a throw rug.

Next to James, Remus was doodling aimlessly on a bit of scratch parchment. While not an irresponsible student—as if the word “irresponsible� could ever apply to Remus, at least when it came to his studies—he was very aware of his status in each of his classes. In Transfiguration next hour, he would be avidly taking notes. In Charms, an easy subject for him, he didn't bother.

Behind Sirius, Peter, too, was occupying himself with his own faraway thoughts, and James could not help but suppress a sigh. While the other three took no more interest in the professor's lecture, James knew that Peter alone of the four would be panicking come test time. Then James, Remus or Sirius would have to re-teach it to him. Although Peter would catch on quite quickly once he paid attention, it was still time better spent on other business.

The thought of “other business� perked James up slightly, and he casually slid a blank piece of parchment from beneath his “notes.� He scribbled a few lines and folded the note. After checking to see that Flitwick's attention was otherwise occupied, James reached out with his toe and prodded the foot of Mary MacDonald sitting in front of him. She glanced backward and blushed, smiling shyly. James pointed to the outside of the note, which had “MARAUDER BUSINESS� written on it in capital letters. He winked charmingly at Mary and handed her the parchment.

Mary blushed even more deeply and took it. James watched anxiously as the note made its way two rows up and three across to Sirius. Once Sirius had it in his possession, James sighed in relief. We really need a more effective way to communicate during class, he thought wearily. There must be some enchantment...

James' eyes followed the parchment from Sirius, to Peter, to Remus, back to Peter, back to Sirius, and finally back onto James' desk. James unfolded it eagerly and read. First came his own sprawling query, “Who's the last person we pulled a prank on?�

Sirius' surprisingly neat—Peter called it girly—handwriting replied, “Carl Higginbotham. We put a Permanent Sticking Charm on his shoes while he was trying to flirt with Evans, remember?�

Peter's left-handed, nearly sideways slant somehow conveyed the same drily humorous tone as his speaking voice often did. “That was almost a month ago. What has become of our motivation?�

Remus' miniscule scribbling was legible to James—and to the professors—only through years of experience . “Well, once Prongs found out Evans thought Higginbotham was as creepy as the rest of us did, he lost interest.�

“Who's the next order of business, then?� Peter wanted to know.

“What of the lovely lady herself?� Sirius suggested. “See if we can't tease out the prissy old princess we all know and love. What say you, Prongs?�

As James pondered his reply, he was startled by the ringing of the bell that announced the end of class. He slid out of his chair, making a mental note to get the homework assignment from someone later, since he appeared to have missed Flitwick's announcing it. James met his three friends at the door. “It's no good, Padfoot,� he said, shaking his head. “We haven't pranked her in ages, and you know why.�

“Because she's no fun anymore,� Peter interjected. “She won't react.�

“Nothing like a good challenge,� said Sirius airily. “Little Lily's gotten much too comfortable with us these past couple years.�

As if to prove his point, Lily Evans brushed past the boys on her way out the door. “Mary, how many Marauders does it take to change a light bulb?� she said.

“How many?� Mary asked, giggling. Sirius and James exchanged confused glances. “What's a light bulb?� Sirius mouthed. James shrugged helplessly.

“None,� said Lily. “They prefer to stand around obstructing traffic and let everyone else do the work.� Mary giggled again and rolled her eyes.

“Oh, come on, Lily,� said Peter dismissively. “That was dumb. You can do better than that.�

Lily ignored him, beckoning to Mary with a vivacious grin. “We'll be late for Transfiguration. You know how McGonagall gets.�

As Mary glanced back over her shoulder at the Marauders, James was hit with an idea. “I know how we can push Lily's buttons,� he said excitedly.

“We don't even know what buttons to push,� Remus pointed out, hoisting his bag more securely onto his shoulder.

“Exactly,� said James. “We need a source on the inside.� He waggled his eyebrows pointedly.

Peter grinned wickedly. “Of course!� He turned to Remus and Sirius. “Mary!�

3:21 P.M

“But Maryyy!� Sirius whined. “Just a little hint?�

“Why should I help you prank my best friend?� Mary inquired indignantly, her foot tapping against the stone floor in a steady rhythm.

“Because we'll never be able to do it otherwise,� said Remus simply. “She knows the best way to put us off is not to react, so she doesn't. Come on, Mary, it'll be fun. We're not gonna hurt her.�

“Aren't you supposed to be the responsible Prefect who puts a stop to the pranks?� Mary demanded. Remus crossed his arms and sulked at her.

“Aw, don't pull the Prefect card over on him,� said Sirius. “Poor guy can't help it if old Dumbledore's deluded.�

Remus glanced across the common room to where James and Peter were keeping Lily distracted. Lily looked on the Marauders with a sort of friendly disdain. It wasn't so much that she loved to hate them, but she loved to laugh at them. This all but drove James and Sirius up a wall. James Potter and Sirius Black did not get laughed at—they did the laughing.

However, as aggravating as Lily could be, she never turned down a fellow student in need of academic assistance, especially Potions. James and Peter, therefore had opted to divert Lily's attention by seeking her help with their Potions essays. Lily took great pride in her Potions abilities and was happy to help them—they certainly could use the help. Since Remus and Sirius were good at Potions, they got to tackle Mary. Really, it was a win-win situation for everybody.

“I'll tell you if you'll take me to Hogsmeade,� said Mary suddenly. Make that a win-win situation for everybody but Remus. Remus sighed.

“I'm not taking you to Hogsmeade, Mary,� he told her. “You're my ex-girlfriend, remember?�

“Yeah, but it's not like we don't get along,� she wheedled.

“In a group setting, yes,� he reasoned. “With all due respect, Mary, we've already tried that.� Now it was Mary's turn to sulk.

“Well, see if I'll tell you anything,� she pouted.

Further attempts to bargain with her were useless. Finally Sirius muttered to Remus, “Would it kill you to take the girl to lunch? This could be the opportunity of a lifetime. It's not like you have to tell her anything.�

Remus sighed. Sirius was under the delusion that Remus had broken up with Mary out of a reluctance to tell her about his “furry problem.� In reality, it was just as Remus had told Sirius time and time again: the girl was annoying. That was the end of it, but the stubborn dog was convinced there was a deeper meaning in Remus' rejection of her continued advances.

“Well, come on, then,� Sirius huffed as Remus shook his head firmly. “There's no use hanging around here.�

7:47 P.M

Sirius Black was annoyed. After their unsuccessful attempt to get information out of Mary, he and Remus had collected Peter and James and retired to the snow-covered lawn outdoors. In the excitement of the ensuing snowball fight, all thoughts of pranking Lily Evans had been forgotten—by everyone but Sirius. Once Sirius got an idea in his head, it stuck there. Even his ingenuity, however, could not think of a way to get under Lily's skin. His thoughts had settled, therefore, on the person who, in his mind, had foiled his chances of success in this venture: Remus Lupin.

The Marauders were good-natured fellows and were just as likely to target one another in their pranks as anyone else. The advantage of targeting a fellow Marauder was that, unlike Lily, Sirius knew just how to push Remus' buttons.

So it was that Sirius disappeared into the dormitory after supper, and came back after a few minutes with a smug look on his face. He plopped into an easy chair and began reading a book, with all the innocence of a little cherub.

“What are you up to, Padfoot?� inquired James pleasantly. “I do hope there will be no unpleasant surprises waiting in my bed for me tonight.�

“Not for you, Prongs,� said Sirius truthfully. “But I'd stay out of Moony's trunk for a few days if I were you.�

“Pity the poor lad has patrol tonight,� said Peter wryly. “He's missed all the fun.�