“Avada Kedavra!�

“Expelliarmus!�

The fate of the world lies in this moment. If the green light hits Harry, evil shall conquer all. The Boy Who Lived will simply die at the hands of the Dark Lord, and Death Eaters will capture and kill Muggle-borns forevermore; anyone who isn’t a pureblood will be in trouble.

If the light misses Harry, though, then all the lives we’ve lost at least won’t be for nothing. They will have died for the greater good; they will have died for freedom - the freedom to live without fear of going to work, the freedom to not have to wonder if you will have a family to return to, after all.

People will live without that fear forevermore.

What if Harry dies? What will I do? He is the love of my life. It may sound melodramatic, and I may only be sixteen, but I know he’s The One. I don’t think I could love anybody else if he dies – after all, it wouldn’t be just me that was heartbroken, but my whole family, not to mention the vast majority of the wizarding world. Mum and Dad would lose another son; the rest of my family would lose a brother. Please don’t let Harry die.

Harry’s and Voldemort’s spells hit each other; Voldemort is disarmed. Apparently, Voldemort’s spell rebounded and hit himself instead. I see Voldemort lying on the floor, finally lifeless.


Cheers erupt all around me throughout the battleground, but I can’t find it in myself to join in the celebrations. After all, I’ve still lost my brother; Fred will never pull a prank again. He won’t be there to cheer me up when I’m not feeling well. His brown eyes won’t shine with mischief the way they always do – did – when he was planning something.

Because of the war, I’ve also lost a friend. Colin Creevey will never take a picture again; he won’t be there to help his brother fight off bullies.

We’ve also lost Tonks and Lupin. I will never see Tonks change her hair to her favorite bubblegum-pink. She won’t magically appear at the Burrow, announcing her appearance by knocking everything over. Lupin will never be there to give advice whenever anyone needed it. Both of them won’t be there to see their son grow up; they won’t ever be there to see when he takes his first step or when he says his first word. They won’t be there to help him, to give him advice on girls. They will miss him growing up, and no one deserves that.

There are also the countless others that have died - the ones who died in the first war, the fifty others who have died in this battle…someone will be mourning for them. After all, someone’s heart was wrenched out with their loss - someone’s husband, brother, uncle, cousin, father, mother, aunt, sister or friend. Almost everyone has suffered terribly in this war.

I can’t take it anymore. I need to get out of here; there is too much happiness. Everybody is crowded around Harry, leaving me all alone. No one would notice if I slipped away.

I make my way through all the debris to the portrait of the Fat Lady. The only things in the portrait now are empty bottles of wine; the door is wide open.

The chairs and desks in the common room are lying askew. After all, the Death Eaters couldn’t pass up an opportunity to mess with the Gryffindors. The sofa is torn up, the stuffing coming out of it. I don’t feel like cleaning up right now; there will be plenty of time for that later.

On the way to my room, tears fall down my face. I sit down on my old bed and cry for everyone that I have lost. I don’t know how long I sit there, crying, but it ends only when there are no tears left. Luckily, no one has come up yet.

I lie down and try to sleep, but I can’t. Every time I close my eyes, I see all the faces of everyone who has died. It’s a collage of all their faces smiling at me, then all of them lying on the ground, dead. There is no way I can sleep - not like this.

This isn’t working. I need to get out of the castle.

*

His lifeless body falls to the ground. Voldemort is dead, done, lifeless, finished. Voldemort lost, after all.

And I won. I won’t have to do this anymore; I won’t have to hunt down a Dark Lord who’s trying to take over the entire wizarding world. I can have a happy, normal life without people trying to kill me.

Then, the cheers start. Everyone starts cheering and gathering around me, all celebrating the loss of Voldemort.

This isn’t where I want to be - not with everyone here, surrounding me. The one personI really want to be with isn’t here. Where is she? Is she okay? Does anybody have her?

Everyone is celebrating the loss of one person, but we’ve all lost people. Doesn’t that matter to them? Doesn’t it matter that they lost their loved ones along the way?

I need to get away from this. I don’t want to be the centre of their cheers. One of the people near me, thankfully, figures this out too.

“I’ll distract them if you want to put your cloak on and get away from here,� Hermione whispers in my ear. I nod appreciatively at her.

Hermione walks over to Neville and whispers in his ear. He pulls Luna onto a nearby rock, and everyone turns their attention to him, giving me a moment’s chance to pull the cloak on. I walk away, but not before I see Neville pull Luna into a deep kiss.

No one notices their hero walking away.

As soon as I am far enough away from them, I pull the cloak off. It won’t help me find Ginny, after all. I walk around the whole castle, looking in all of the classrooms for Ginny. She isn’t anywhere I check. On a couple occasions, I think I’ve finally found her, but it’s always someone else.

The whole time, I have to force myself not to cry. There will be plenty of time for that later, like in the safety of my dorm, where no one will see me. I make my way to the Fat Lady’s portrait after putting my cloak back on. I am not ready to talk about it just yet. If someone sees me, I won’t get to be alone right now. The portrait door is open, with just empty bottles of wine lying on the bottom.

The inside of the common room is messed up, probably from the stupid Death Eaters. I don’t feel like cleaning it; there will be time for that later. I go up the boys’ staircase, up to the seventh-year boys’ dormitory. I sit down on the bed that used to be mine and pull my knees up to my face, wrapping my arms around my legs; the tears fall freely. There will be time to talk to Ginny later.

I don’t know how long I sit there, crying tears of sadness for everyone I have lost intermingled with tears of happiness at finally defeating Voldemort, but, eventually, the tears stop. My tear ducts must be empty.

I have to find the Weasleys; they will be wondering where I am, and maybe Ginny will be with them. After all, she is part of the family. I go down to the common room, which still isn’t cleaned up, and out the portrait hole. On my way to the Great Hall, I pass a lot of people, some of whom come over to pat my shoulder and shake my hand. I don’t deserve any of this; it should be the countless others who helped fight the Death Eaters who get recognition. They helped, too. Without them, I would be dead already.

The Great Hall is different than the last time I was here. All the dead bodies are now lined up against the wall. Now that they have most people taken care of, there is room to put one of the tables at the opposite end of the room, across from the bodies, for people to sit down at.

The row of dead bodies is enclosed by family members standing around them. Seven people, six with red hair and one with brown, are all around Fred. Sadly, the one I want to see isn’t there, either. I walk over to them. All of them have red puffy eyes and tears pouring out of them. Hermione notices me first; she pulls herself out of Ron’s arms and runs to me to give me a big hug. All of them notice my arrival - all but one. George is sitting at Fred’s head and is staring at him without expression. Mrs. Weasley comes over to me next and gives me her big motherly hug.

“I’m so glad you’re all right. I wouldn’t know what I would do if I lost another one of my sons,� she says, crying into my shirt.

I feel tears prick at my eyes. “Thank you, Mrs. Weasley.�


She lets go of me and backs a step away, giving room for someone else to come over. Ron comes over next; he, too, gives me a hug. Everyone else pats me on the back.

Next to Fred, on the ground, are Tonks and Remus. They had just had a son! Now they won’t be there to watch him grow up. They didn’t deserve to die. In fact, if anyone deserved to not die, it was these two.

“Do you know where Ginny is, dear?� Mrs. Weasley asks me.

“I don’t know. I haven’t seen her for a couple hours.� I don’t feel like adding the part about trying to find her. She looks worried.

“She will be okay, Molly. She probably just wants to be alone now,� Mr. Weasley says reassuringly. That silences her. The only sounds you can hear from her now are her sniffles.

We all look over Fred, Tonks, and Remus one more time. I choose this time to slip away again - I walk out of the Great Hall and make my way outside, all the way to one of the rocks by the lake. Only when I get close to the rock do I notice that someone is already there - it’s Ginny, I see with relief. Her red hair is moving in the breeze, and some strands of it are stuck to the tears falling down her face. I accidentally step on a twig, announcing my presence. Her head snaps up.

“I’m sorry. If you want me to leave, I can.�

*

I make my way to the Black Lake – at least no one will be out there now. No one will come to interrupt me; no one will try to comfort me, and that’s just what I need.

Harry could come interrupt me, I think wistfully. I wouldn’t mind, not really. My mind is consumed by thoughts of him. What will it be, now, between us? Will he want to get back together with me, or will I forever be the ex-girlfriend that he sees everywhere? What if he had met someone else on his mission?

How could I live with that? Could I stand to have the person I love – yes, I admit to myself, I love him - be with someone else while he still lives in the same house as me? I definitely couldn’t live with that, I decide. One of us would have to leave, and it sure as hell won’t be me.

A twig snaps behind me, and I look up to see who it is. It’s Harry.

“I’m sorry. If you want me to leave, I can.� I shake my head and look back down at the lake.

His hair is caked with sweat and dirt, and his clothes are worn out and torn. He still looks good, though. His eyes are a little bit red with all the crying that he has done, but mine probably are, too.

“I wanted to talk to you,� he starts, “about us.� I look up at him. “I know this isn’t the best time to do this, but I need to get it off my chest. During the whole time I was gone, I was thinking about you. I wondered if you were okay, or if you were in trouble, or if you were with someone else. That particular thought drove me insane. You need to know this: I don’t think I could live with anyone but you. I think the only reason I’m still alive right now is because I had you to fight for. If anything happened to you, I couldn’t live with myself.

“The reason I felt like that is because I think I love you. No, I know it. I love you. I love you, Ginerva Molly Weasley. It feels so good to finally tell you that. I couldn’t die, not without telling you that.� By now, he is breathing heavily, but he manages to speak again.

“Do you think you could ever forgive me for being so thick? For breaking up with you? I’ve realized that it didn’t matter if you had been dating me or not; they still would have tried to get you, and I’m an idiot for not realizing that sooner.�

I just stare up at him. His eyes are digging into mine. He said he was thinking about me the whole time. He said he loved me. He loves me. Me! He also admitted to being thick, I think dryly, which is a huge accomplishment for him. He continues to look at me, and his eyes are pleading to forgive him.

“How could I not forgive you? I love you, Harry James Potter. I love you, and you aren’t getting away from me. We are going to get married, you know.� I take a step closer to him. “We’re going to have lots of kids, and then, when we’ve lived life to its fullest, we’re going to die, very old, in our beds, holding each other.� By now, I am standing right in front of him. “And I won’t take no for an answer.�

He grins down at me as he leans down to kiss me. I meet him halfway. When our lips touch, it sends a shiver right down my spine. It’s been so long since we’ve done this. My whole body warms up.

He puts his arms around me to pull me closer as I wind my hands in his hair. Once I am as close as I can possibly get to him, he lets one of his hands travel up and down my back and another tangle itself in my hair.

It seems like forever since I’ve tasted Harry; he tastes good. I always knew we would never go very long without tasting each other again.

We pull away, in need of oxygen, but we don’t let go of each other. He stares into my eyes.

“I love you, Ginny.�

I can’t get enough of him saying that. It sounds right. I can definitely see myself in fifty years, waking up to him saying that.

“I love you, too.�

He leans down and places a gentle kiss on my forehead, and then he sits down, pulling me with him. He positions me so I am sitting on his lap with my head on his shoulder. I still like being in his arms, though.

After all these months, I’m finally home - in Harry’s arms, the place that I belong. As long as I’m with Harry, I’m going to be okay.

Harry’s the first to break the silence that settled over us. “So, about those kids…�