Summary: He had been meandering though the distance for ages, unsure of what she would say in the final moment.
Song lyrics taken from U2’s
The Sweetest Thing. And I am not J.K.Rowling.
Categories: James/Lily Characters: None
Warnings: None
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 1
Completed: Yes
Word count: 2532
Read: 3113
Published: 03/13/10
Updated: 03/13/10
1. And she said Yes. by hestiajones
And she said Yes. by hestiajones
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
“Evans!” he shouted. “Hey, Evans!”
She stopped and turned back with her hands on her hips. “Yes, Potter?”
“You dropped this,” he said, showing her the book which had fallen out of her bag. “And the zip on your bag is open.”
She blushed faintly as she saw that he was telling the truth. “Thanks, Potter,” she said. Instead of walking back to him, she stood waiting where she had halted and held out her hand.
So, it was he who went to her. As usual.
As she took the book from him and closed the zip, her lips twitched as though she was debating whether to give him a smile in gratitude.
He knew he shouldn’t have said it to ruin the moment, but he did anyway. “So, next Hogs “”
“Have a nice day, Potter,” she said abruptly, cutting him off, and she left him without looking back.
She left him wearing a brave grin on his face, and bearing a heart that crumpled a little.
She won't catch me or break my fall
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
“So, what’s so special about Evans?” asked Sirius.
“What’s so special about girls in general?” asked James.
“Well,” said Sirius as he tapped the statue of a one-eyed witch experimentally with his wand, “if they are up for a snog, I’d wager they’re worth it.”
“Evans isn’t up for a snog, not with me anyway,” replied James, running the tip of his wand over the same statue as though he was looking for something, “yet she’s still worth…everything.”
“I honestly don’t get it, James,” said Sirius after a while. “She seems to detest you.”
“Let’s hope that passes,” said James brightly. “Reckon this is our place. What d’you think?”
“I think so, too,” replied Sirius, grinning. “Let’s go get the other two.”
Baby's got blue skies up ahead
But in this I'm a rain cloud
He was sitting with his three friends, basking in the glory of so many things “ a paper excellently done, a series of perfect catches made on a stolen Snitch, the joy of being with his friends, and the simple fact that she was there in sight.
She was laughing, he noticed as he unconsciously ran his fingers through his hair. She was laughing with her friends. Her shoes were off and she was cooling her feet in the water. He knew he’d give anything for the world to disappear so that it was just him and her there.
Maybe not anything, he corrected himself as he caught the Snitch deftly yet again, but most things.
The world wouldn’t disappear, of course, but he didn’t honestly know how else to get her alone with him.
She didn’t hate him, not really. Just like he never missed a shoot at the hoops, he never missed the nuances of her reaction to him. She would grin at his jokes from time to time, especially when they weren’t directed at the “innocent” but at himself, or Sirius, or anyone else who she knew could take it. But others laughed at his jokes, too, and he wanted a more passionate response from her.
It thrilled him to see he could provoke her, to see her eyes blazing in anger because that meant she wasn’t indifferent towards him.
It hurt him, too, no matter how much he succeeded at covering it.
It made him feel as though he was not quite right in the head, to even like someone so much he was okay with her disgust for him.
And yet, it was what he enjoyed the most, to know that he could make Lily Evans feel for him.
He only realized how far he’d gone when he found out he was going to make someone else pay for his stupid obsession. As he looked at the boy “ the one who he had disliked since he was an eleven-year-old “ dangling in mid-year and about to have his pants taken off by him and Sirius, he found he couldn’t do it. And he didn’t.
I'm losing you
I'm losing you yeah
Ain't love the sweetest thing
She seemed to have grown prettier over the summer, he thought. He deliberately sat down next to her at dinner, but she didn’t acknowledge his presence. Neither did she move away.
I wanted to run but she made me crawl
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
About the five hundred and forty-third time he’d asked her out, and she still said no. He was scared it would become a habit.
He was scared that, perhaps, it already had.
He decided to stop, found that it was near impossible to do so, then realised he’d never get her if he didn’t grit his teeth and say something other than demand a date. He succeeded after a few months.
You know I got black eyes
But they burn so brightly for her
“There are a thousand more girls you could have here, you know,” said Sirius emphatically.
“Don’t exaggerate,” complained Peter.
“He’s been out with a hundred of them already,” said Remus. “Methinks it is a disease.”
“She’s improved lots lately,” insisted James. “She has actually begun having conversations with me which lasts for more than five seconds.”
“Oh yes, if a girl talks to you for more than five seconds, it means she’s fallen in love with you,” said Sirius sarcastically. “I like her, Prongs, seriously. She’s spunky, she’s funny, she’s attractive, and she’s intelligent. I just don’t get how she can be so blind about you.”
“I’d say it’s James who’s being blind,” observed Remus.
“Do you call yourself a friend?” inquired James with a frustrated look at Remus.
“Sorry,” said Remus hastily.
This is a blind kind of love
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
“Hello, James.”
“Lily!” he cried. “Oh? So, it’s you as Head Girl. Boy, I’m glad!”
“I see. Why?”
He could see that familiar suspicion in her eyes. He hastened to explain. “Sirius “ I’m going to kill him, by the way “ said that he’d spotted Ganymede Bulstrode with the Head Girl badge. I swear I was going to resign as soon as I got to school.”
“Oh!” she exclaimed in surprise. “You got the Head Boy badge then?”
“Er…yeah.”
“Wow…” she said slowly. “That’s somewhat…”
“Unexpected, I know,” said Remus cheerfully. He had just arrived at the scene. “Now, shall we go inside and meet the other Prefects?”
Throughout the few hours they were together on the train, he juggled two tasks with passion “ his duties as Head Boy, and his study of her behavior towards him. She had definitely been surprised by this latest development in the course of their barely existent relationship, and he was sure that she was re-evaluating him.
She handled surprises much better than him, though. There was nothing in her actions that suggested she had other things on her mind than working out patrolling schedules and getting to know the Prefects. And yet, she was thawing a lot more towards him.
She often smiled at him, he reflected as he slapped the back of a new Ravenclaw Prefect who was on the Quidditch team. Sometimes, it was almost absent-minded; at others, it was just mere formality when she referred to him by name during planning something.
At last, their work was done, and they were free to go and find their respective compartments. Remus winked at him “ a wink so subtle he thought it must have been a trick of the light “ and left with the others.
“James,” she said.
“Yes?”
“I forgot to congratulate you,” she said, holding out her hand.
“Wha-oh right!” he said, taking it and giving it a firm shake. His throat went dry at the contact. “You, too. Well done!”
She laughed. “See you at dinner then.”
“Sure.”
He stayed back and sat alone in the compartment for at least five minutes.
Breathe, Prongs, he muttered to himself. Breathe.
Blue-eyed boy meets a brown-eyed girl
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
“You know something,” she said as they were returning to Gryffindor Tower for the night.
“Mmm?”
“I hate Prefect duties, especially patrolling.”
“What?” he asked incredulously. “No way, you can’t.”
“But why can’t I?” she asked, her eyes sparkling with an emotion he couldn’t quite place.
“Lily, you…” he began, “you are like the…you are what they call a “good girl”. You are a hard-working, honest student, and the Head Girl.”
She burst into laughter. “Is that really what you think of me, James?”
“Yeah,” he said, a little uncertain now.
“How sad,” she said, tutting. “After all these years of trying to force a date out of me, this is the opinion you have of me? I’m disappointed at you, Potter.”
Now, it was his turn to chuckle. “But…aren’t you, really?”
“Aren’t I what?”
“A good girl?”
“It depends on your definition,” she explained. “I admit that I work hard as a student, but there are a lot of other people who do that as well. If I were just that, wouldn’t I be in Ravenclaw?”
“You never break rules either!” he protested.
“You don’t know me well,” she said mischievously. “I do break a few rules every now and then, only I’m not as thick as you to flaunt them and get into detention.”
“Tell me what you do,” he said with great interest.
“And what if you use the information against me?” she asked in mock-seriousness.
“I wouldn’t!” he said earnestly. “I like you far too much.”
That shut her up, much to his regret. Their silence was only broken when they had to wish each other good night.
You can sew it up but you still see the tear
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
With each passing day, the panic in his heart built. This was the last year, his last chance to do something to get Lily to like him. But he couldn’t think of any plan, any strategy, any idea. The more time he spent with her, the more confused he got. She seemed so much nearer to him but instead of helping, that oddly scared him of upsetting the balance.
What if he asked her out and she decided he had never changed?
Baby's got blue skies up ahead
But in this I'm a rain cloud
Ours is a stormy kind of love
As he watched her brewing her potion in the dungeon, he sadly thought how much he wanted to be near her.
Be a part of her life.
Have the right to peck her cheek and hold her hand and crush her in his arms and touch her hair and kiss her lips.
Have the simple privileges of waking up and finding her next to him, of being scolded by her, of having her give him a lover’s smile.
One wrong move and even those private hopes would be shattered.
But as the class got over and she cleaned up her desk, he decided he couldn’t bear to be on tenterhooks any longer. He didn’t want to lose her, but he didn’t want to live in cowardice either. He was going to take his chance while he could. He was going to face the consequences.
If she said no now, she would never say yes.
He asked Sirius to leave first. His friend shot Lily a suspicious glance, then patted his shoulder and left the room without a single complaint.
“Lily,” he said.
She looked up at him. “Oh, James, could you help me put this cork back in? It keeps coming out for some reason…”
Git, he thought. You didn’t see her struggling with it.
He walked towards her, nervous as hell, but determined as much. “Here,” he said, taking the cork from her. He tried to push it in, but it refused to stay put.
“It was working before,” she said. “Wonder what’s wrong…I was worried too much force might break the bottle or something…the glass is pretty thin, you know…”
After several tries, he, too, gave up. He felt inexplicably miserable.
“It’s all right, James,” she said. His worry must have shown on his face, for she patted his wrist. “I assume I could give it one last try, and if it doesn’t work, I’ll just leave it open for Slughorn.”
“Will you go to Hogsmeade with me, Lily?” he asked her suddenly.
The cork flew out again with a “pop”.
She didn’t reply. She just stared at him with an unreadable expression on her face.
He decided to plow on. “I know what you’re thinking, that it’s just Potter being “Potter” as usual, but I honestly like you a lot, you know. I’ve fancied you for ages, and I admit I’ve been a right arse all this while, and I never asked you out the way I should have “ I “ but I just want to make it clear that I’ve changed. You’re very special to me, and…frankly, I want you to know I am quite, quite serious about you.”
There! He thought. A few incoherent sentences were all it had taken to free himself.
She opened her mouth but no words issued from it.
He thought he would sink to the ground as he held on for a reply. He thought he was weightless and would evaporate on the spot any second. He thought he would die. He thought it was over, and nothing ever mattered anymore.
“I understand if you don’t want to go,” he managed to say finally, and he picked up his bag and started walking away.
“Wait! James!”
He stopped and turned.
“Wait,” she repeated.
He didn’t go to her this time; this time, he waited.
And she came to him.
It seemed to take her forever as she made a show of putting her things inside her bag, as she covered the bottle with a piece of parchment, as she slung her bag on to her shoulder, and as she covered the actually short distance between him and her.
But came she did.
“I will,” she said, smiling.
He instantly recognized that smile by virtue of its difference from those he was already familiar with. There was nothing absent-minded or obligatory or amused about it. It was real and it was honest and it was promising and it was… it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his life.
He wanted to thank her for saying yes; he wanted to tell her he was so happy it ached, but he couldn’t utter a word.
“We are going to be late for the next class,” she reminded him.
He nodded, grinning helplessly.
“Let’s go.”
End Notes:
Thanks for reading! Do leave a review and tell me how it was. I wrote it in two-and-a-half hours, so I dunno. :D
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