December 25th, 1978

The spell damage ward had been unusually quiet all evening. There had been no new arrivals since Mr. Johnston had arrived mid-afternoon with a tail, which had been a quick and easy fix, even for an apprentice. Lily smiled to herself as she remembered the elderly wizard's embarrassed face, then returned to her book, glad for the peace and quiet. It was Christmas Day, and she was spending it alone, working; she had little to celebrate or look forward to, so why not? She sipped her tea as she studied advanced healing charms and waited for another patient.

"All right, Ms. Evans?" asked the cleaning wizard, puttering down the hallway. He pointed his wand here and there, mindlessly cleaning a floor that had already been scrubbed and polished six times that day. It had been that slow, but then they weren't expecting things to pick up until later, if at all.

"I'm fine, Clifford," she replied, setting down her textbook and smiling at the white-haired man standing in the doorway. "And you? Shouldn't you be heading home by now? You keep polishing that floor, and we'll fall right through to the Potions ward."

Clifford winked as he continued down the hall. "That'd shake things up around here, wouldn't it? Awfully dull for Christmas."

"That's okay," Lily called after him. "It's not like we want the business, given someone would have to get hurt for it!"

She could hear him snort, but his reply was drowned out by an alarm going off, followed by the gruff voice of the Admissions witch coming from the vase of flowers on her desk. "We've got two emergency Portkeys arriving immediately. Stand ready."

Lily grabbed her robes and ran from the office. She met up with the other Healers and apprentices on duty just as the first Portkey arrived: two wizards carrying a third man, all of them bruised and bloody. Lily didn't even have time to wonder if they had been celebrating a bit too much, or if they had been attacked, when the second Portkey arrived and her heart stopped: Remus Lupin was supporting a barely conscious James Potter, who looked as if he had been hit by a dozen Stunners at once.

Forgetting that her role as an apprentice was to wait for orders, she ran up to James, taking his other arm around her shoulders. "What happened?" she gasped. James was dead weight, completely unable to walk on his own, and they literally dragged him to the nearest bed and rolled him onto it. Healer Singh guided the other injured wizard toward a bed opposite from them.

"Procedure, Evans!" he snapped as she touched James's pale face. She shook herself, unable to comprehend what was happening: in six months at St. Mungo's, she had only treated a few casual acquaintances, never anyone so close. Though her and James had broken up in June, seeing him lying there, completely unresponsive, almost sent her spiraling into panic. She hesitated, her training a blur, and was roughly pushed away by Healer Price rushing over to take her place. "Take care of his friend," the older woman snapped. "I'll get him."

Lily nodded mutely as Remus looked at her with dead eyes; he clearly did not want to leave James, but Healer Price pushed him out the way as well. Lily took Remus to a nearby bed and gently guided him to sit. His head fell into his hands as she began her exam, hands shaking. Taking a deep breath, she willed herself to calm down.

"What happened?" she asked again, although it was obvious that this was far more than a Christmas celebration gone wrong. Clearly they had been attacked, and she was once again reminded of how badly things were going with the war. Every week more and more wizards were brought to the hospital, victims of the increasing violence between pure-bloods and the rest of the wizarding world. She glanced across the ward at the others who had come in and saw the two conscious wizards waving away an apprentice as they hovered near their injured comrade.

"That's Benjy Fenwick," Remus said softly, rubbing his hands over his face. "I think he and James took the worst of it."

"Of what?" Lily asked. Remus had a number of small surface cuts that she cleaned with her wand. She Summoned some gauze from a nearby cabinet and began to wrap a larger gash on his arm.

Remus shrugged, wincing as she pulled the bandage tight. "Death Eater attack, of course. We were scoping out a gathering, and it turned into a bit of a rout."

"On Christmas?" she asked.

"That was our information." Remus sighed. "Probably a trap, looking back."

"What happened to James?" she asked.

"He was covering Benjy and took on Dolohov and some big brute when a third Death Eater came up behind him." Remus stared at his friend and shook his head. "He's lucky he survived. Moody put down all three, although he took a bad hit himself. He should have followed us, but he wanted to round up the leftovers first."

"Alastor Moody, the Auror?" Lily conjured a goblet and poured some of the Strengthening Solution kept in the ward. She handed it to Remus, who drank it without question.

"We'd probably be dead without him," whispered Remus. "It was that bad."

Without thinking, Lily threw her arms around him. "I'm glad you're okay. I just hope James—" She didn't get to finish, for there was another announcement for an incoming Portkey from the Christmas tree in the corner, followed by a belligerent voice bellowing loudly in the hallway.

"Burdock's balls, I don't need a Healer! I need to get that slimy bastard—"

"That'd be Moody." Remus shook his head. "He may not think so, but he needs it. He got hit by a—"

"Relashio curse!" gasped Lily as Moody turned around. She took an involuntary step backward as the Auror approached them. He had a severe, grizzled look about him as he stumped toward her on his wooden leg, but that was not was had startled her: instead, his right hand was burned, broken, and dripping blood from a deep cut across his palm that reached almost to the bone. His fingers were blackened, gnarled, and twisted in pain. Lily began to comb through her training for how to treat such a gruesome injury.

"There's not much to do other than close it up or chop it off, and you bloody well know it," growled Moody. "Lupin, what's Potter's status?"

Remus frowned and turned to Lily, searching for a response. Healer Price answered instead. "He'll survive," she announced, coming over and taking Moody's arm. The gruff Auror tried to shake her off, but Price was obviously used to such things and raised her wand; Moody narrowed his eyes before nodding sharply and allowing himself to be guided to a nearby bed. "You can see him," Price added over her shoulder. "Ms. Evans, keep an eye on him."

Remus had already slipped off the bed and hurried over the where James lay. Lily smiled thankfully at Healer Price and joined Remus. James was awake, his eyes staring dully across the ward where Healer Singh was still with Benjy Fenwick. He glanced up at them when he heard Remus approach.

"Is Benjy all right?" he asked, his voice a dry rasp. Lily conjured a glass and poured him some water from the jug kept bedside at all times. He smiled as she handed it to him. "Hey, Evans. Fancy meeting you here."

"I work here, Potter, remember?" she smiled, slipping easily back into their familiar banter from Hogwarts. Unfortunately, James must have been too tired to respond, for instead of a sharp-tongued comeback, he simply sighed.

"Figures I'd run into you tonight. Hell of a way to spend Christmas." He turned to Remus. "What about Benjy?" he asked again.

A tall man with long auburn hair came over. He was a bit battered, but otherwise uninjured. "He's okay. He took the full brunt of that Blasting Curse, but he'll be all right, thanks to you. How are you feeling?"

Lily frowned, trying to place the stranger. She recognized him, but could not for the life of her recall his name. James must have read her mind, for he answered her unspoken question. "Gideon Prewett, this is Lily Evans, apprentice Healer. And I’m okay."

Gideon nodded curtly, and Lily remembered that he had been a seventh-year when she had first entered Hogwarts. "Nice to meet you. You all right, Remus?" When Remus nodded, Gideon continued. "And what about Moody? I'm surprised he's here."

"I'm bloody fine," growled the Auror from the other side of the ward. "It's just a damn cut!" Lily heard Healer Price stifle a sigh as she continued to work with the difficult wizard.

Another ginger-haired wizard joined them, a deep bruise darkening the left side of his bearded face. "Benjy's asleep," he said. He gave James a pointed look. "Which is probably what you should be doing after a hit like that."

"Eventually," James murmured, yawning. "Lily, meet Fabian Prewett. You two okay?"

Fabian grunted as he flexed his shoulders. "Bit stiff is all. And some git got in a lucky shot – dented my pocket watch." He took out a golden watch and scowled, although Lily saw his eyes were twinkling with humour.

James snorted. "Moody's hand looks like a piece of meat and we're laid up in bed, yet you're worried about your bloody pocket watch? Some priorities." Lily saw Remus smile; obviously the exchange was all in jest, an attempt to lighten a very serious mood. She wondered how often James had to do that now, fighting for the Order; she wondered if it worked.

"Yes, at least it wasn't your—" Gideon began, before he was interrupted.

"Prewett!" barked Moody. "Watch yourself, there's a young lady present. And if you're still in one piece, then we need to head back and keep on Dolohov. I'm not resting until I get that bastard, dead or alive."

Gideon rolled his eyes as the Auror came up behind him, his hand wrapped in a stiff bandage. "No rest for the weary," he murmured. "Keep your robes on, Alastor. We're coming." He nodded at James. "Get some sleep, Potter, or else you're back with the rest of us."

"He'll be on duty soon enough," said Moody. "We can't afford to lose anyone, so make it quick, Potter. Lupin, if you're standing, you're with me. Let's go."

Remus sighed; he was obviously exhausted, and Lily felt her heart go out to him, that he had to head back into the night so quickly. She gave him a quick hug. "Stay safe," she whispered.

"I'll be fine," he shrugged. "I think the worst is over, for now. Take care of him." He turned to James and clasped him on the shoulder. "Get some rest, James. I'll let Sirius and Peter know what happened."

"Tell Padfoot he missed a hell of a fight," said James, his eyes already closed and his voice barely a whisper. "He'll hate that."

"Not if he had one of his own," Remus murmured on his way out of the ward. Lily watched him leave with Moody and the Prewett brothers. Benjy Fenwick turned fitfully across from them; Healer Singh murmured a spell, and the injured man passed into a more peaceful sleep.

James was quiet for so long that Lily was certain he had fallen asleep as well. She resisted the urge to tuck back the hair that had fallen across his eyes, and instead started to walk away so he could rest. He surprised her by opening his eyes.

"Please don't go," he said softly. "No one should spend Christmas alone."

Lily stopped and turned back to him. Hazel eyes pleaded with her to stay, and she nodded, unable to say no. She came and sat by him, silently offering him another drink. He smiled at her before leaning back on his pillows and closing his eyes once more.

"So how are you doing?" he asked, still not looking at her.

"I'm doing well," she answered honestly. "I've found a flat in London, and I've been training here for several months now. How about you?" She regretted asking it as soon as the words left her mouth. He gave her a rueful look, eyebrows raised.

"I've been better," he answered, and she nodded, feeling ridiculous for asking. "The Order had been working hard these last few months. Sirius took a pretty bad hit back in October."

"I know," Lily said. "He told me you had all joined the Order when he was here. Just like you said you would."

James was quiet again, and Lily felt the need to break the silence. Not only did she want to know what had happened, but she sensed that he might need to talk about it.

"What happened out there tonight?" she asked. "If you feel up to telling me."

James sighed. "Might as well. It's no secret. We were approaching a gathering of Death Eaters out near Chelmsford when six more appeared behind us and attacked. It was probably a setup. We were completely outnumbered. When Benjy went down, I stepped up to cover him. I was fighting two Death Eaters when someone came up behind me and Stunned me. Apparently the other two thought I needed a bit more, because they Stunned me, too." He winced as he tried to sit up. "I do not recommend three Stunners in one night."

"You're lucky you survived," Lily murmured.

"I know," he said softly. "I think that every time we go out there."

"Then why keep going?" she asked. It was something she had sometimes wondered about: why he fought, when his pure-blood status would keep him safe. Yet he was a Gryffindor through and through, and she knew him well enough to know he would never quit, not when others were being persecuted for something he didn’t believe in.

James shrugged. "Someone has to fight back, so it might as well be me. If my luck runs out, so be it. I just hope I can make a difference before it does."

Lily reached over, took his hand, and squeezed it. "I'm glad your luck held out, then. I don't know what I'd do if you came through that door any worse than you did today."

James raised his eyebrows in mock surprise. "Watch out, Evans, or I'll think you still care."

"Of course I still care," she murmured, glancing around to be sure no one was listening.

"Then why did you break up with me?" he asked bluntly. She imagined he had been asking himself the same question for months, even though she had explained herself at the time. She could hear the same hurt in his voice as she had the day she had told him it was over.

"Because I wanted to concentrate on my training, get accustomed to being on my own—" she began, but he interrupted her, hazel eyes flashing.

"That's bollocks and you know it." He waited for his words to sink in. "Why did you really break up with me?"

Lily stared back defiantly before answering. "Because you moved too fast, that's why. Because I wasn't ready for that kind of commitment." He had the good grace to look abashed, and she softened her blow with a sad smile. "Because I wasn't ready to get married."

"You could have just told me," he finally grumbled.

"You can't just take back a proposal like that," she pointed out, remembering his heartrending words to her at the black lake the day before graduation.

"I would have waited," he said softly. He looked away before turning back to her and sitting up straighter. "So what about now?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" she replied warily.

"How do you feel about me now?" he pressed.

Lily's eyes widened. "You're not proposing again, are you? We haven't seen each other for six months!"

James snorted again and rubbed his cheeks. "Of course not. Think I want to get shot down a second time? No, I'm just asking how feel about me now. You said you cared."

"I do," she said, wondering where he was going with the conversation.

"Enough to go out with me again? Once I'm out of here, maybe we can celebrate the New Year properly."

"You're not serious," Lily said, surprised at the turn he had taken, but not entirely opposed to the idea. Seeing him again reminded her how much she had missed him; seeing him injured so badly had forced her to admit she wasn't entirely ready to lose him.

"I am," he replied. "I want to start the New Year right. Or were you planning on working again?�

Lily nodded, speechless.

“Then don't. Give me another chance,� he said. “Give us another chance."

"You don't mean it," she said, her voice barely a whisper. "You're only asking because you almost died."

He shook his head and took her hands, leaning forward earnestly. "No, I'm not. I still love you, Lily, even after all this time. You can't tell me you don't still love me."

Lily hesitated. He was right: she couldn't say it, because she couldn't do that to him—crush him completely after all he had already been through that night. And she didn't want to close that door forever, because she knew if she rejected him again that he'd turn his back, and she would never see him again. She might not know what she wanted, exactly, but she did know she didn't want that.

"James, I —" she started, but was once again interrupted as he crashed his lips to hers. It was a desperate kiss, filled with passion and longing. She felt every ounce of his love and pain as he held her face with his hands and stole her breath. He finally pulled away and laid his forehead on hers, hazel eyes looking straight into her racing heart.

"Please," he whispered.

Lily felt a tear slip down her cheek and swallowed hard. Yet before she could answer, there was a cough from the doorway. Healer Price stood there, arms crossed over her chest and eyebrows raised. Lily jumped up as James fell back to his pillow with a sigh.

"I don't remember learning that technique as an apprentice," said the Healer, moving to check on Benjy Fenwick. "Does it work well?"

Expecting a smart comeback from James, Lily glanced down, only to find he had closed his eyes and set his mouth tight. She cleared her throat, but found she had nothing to offer either. Her cheeks were flaming with embarrassment.

Healer Price winked as she cast another spell for Benjy. "I imagine it's far more effective than a potion, anyway." Lily blew out her breath as the older woman left the room and turned back to James. He did not open his eyes to look at her; she sighed as she turned to leave him.

"You didn't answer me," he finally said just as she was about to step into the hallway. "I deserve that, at least."

She walked back to his bed and gently touched her lips to his once more. "Yes, you do," she said, casting a simple sleeping spell to help him rest and recover. She smiled as his eyes began to droop. "Get some rest, James. I'll check on you soon."

"Happy Christmas, Lily," he murmured as she pulled the blankets around him.

"Happy Christmas, James," she replied, brushing the hair from his face. He smiled as he drifted off to sleep.

Lily dimmed the lights and left the ward. Her quiet Christmas alone had been disturbed in more ways than one, and yet it had turned out better than she might have hoped. Perhaps she would take New Year’s Eve off; no one wanted to ring in the New Year alone, and she unexpectedly found that she had something to look forward to after all.

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