The sound of a knock on the door jarred Zach Smith from his uncomfortable slumber on his settee. Groggily, he sat up, only to be hit by a wave of nausea as his hangover exacted revenge for his previous night’s activities. When the knock repeated, he grumbled and decided to give whoever it was a piece of his mind and possibly the business end of his still-shod foot.

His hand fell on the latch, but as he began to turn the knob, the crack of Apparition signalled the departure of his caller. Swinging the door open, he looked down the corridor with the faint hope of catching a glimpse of whoever it was. But, as he had expected, there was no one. With a grunt, he slammed the door and stalked back to the couch, weighing the pros and cons of calling into work the next day.

That was when the knock came again, but this time, it was softer. He was being toyed with. He hated being toyed with. And this time, he was going to catch this person in the act. This time, he took care not to make a sound before jerking open the door once again. Again, nothing.

But there was a tug on his trousers. Curious, Zach looked down. It was a… kid, a little boy, who he estimated to be about three, and it was staring up with giant eyes, still holding a fistful of his trouser. Judging by the clothing, he wasn’t a rich kid, but he looked like someone bothered washing the little brat.

Not sure what he was supposed to say, or even if the child knew how to talk yet or would understand him, Zach asked, “Where’s your mum?”

“Mummy went away,” the boy responded, not seeming overly bothered by it.

“Why are you here?”

“I dunno.”

It was then that Zach noticed a slip of parchment sticking out of the boy’s coat pocket. Plucking it out, he unfolded it and read; he wished he hadn’t.

Zach,

I can’t do this anymore. You need to take care of him. His name is Cameron, and he’s your son.

Mitzy

Mitzy. Just the sight of that name made him want to melt into the floorboards. She had been his working girl (to put it politely) of choice a few years back until she had stopped meeting him. After that, he stopped soliciting her particular profession, not thinking twice about the woman whose naughty bits he could remember better than her face.

In his moment of reflection, Zach had almost forgotten about Cameron until a small hand grabbed onto his. “I’m hungry.”

“Well, bloody good for you,” Zach snapped before having an unfamiliar feeling of guilt for swearing in front of the boy. However, Cameron didn’t seem to notice, so with a sigh, he gestured toward the settee and said, “Come on, kid. I’ll see what I can find.”

Zach did know one thing for sure. He had just successfully bought himself an excuse not to go to work.

If anyone found the sight of a confirmed bachelor Flooing into the Ministry with a kid in tow, there was no sign of it. Zach just wanted to go directly to Level One and get out of the building as soon as possible, so he firmly clamped Cameron’s hand to keep him from wandering off. The last thing Zach’s pounding head needed was having to look tiny person in a giant building. In and out, that was all he wanted to do.

At the lift, he said, “Level One.”

“Now proceeding to Level One,” said the automated voice. “And thank you for visiting your Ministry of Magic.”

With a snort, Zach mumbled, “Piss off.”

“What does that mean?” Cameron asked after pulling on Zach’s arm to get his attention.

Startled by the question, Zach said, “Well, um, Level One is where someone I need to see works.”

Shaking his head, Cameron said, “No. What does ‘piss off’ mean?”

Holding back a groan of frustration, Zach replied, “It’s a word that you shouldn’t use, or spiders will crawl into your mouth and bite your tongue.” He heard a gulp and a sniffle, and when he looked down, Cameron had tears running down his face with his free hand clamped over his mouth.

An unexpected wave of contrition hit Zach. He wasn’t exactly in tune with the child-rearing universe, but even he felt bad about that reddening, wrinkled face trying not to bawl for everything he was worth. Unaccustomed to apology, instead, he said, “Spiders aren’t going to crawl into your mouth. I was joking.”

“Mum said jokes are funny.”

“Tell me about it.” Zach lolled his head back, wondering whether the lift ride could possibly be any longer, but just as the thought jumped into his head, he felt the motion beneath his feet slowly abate.

“Level One: Administration. Thank you, and have a nice day.”

As they stepped out of the lift, Cameron pointed back into the car and said, “Piss off!” He then trotted after Zach, who could only chuckle and ruffle the boy’s hair. The responsible thing to do probably would’ve been to discourage such language, but it was the first genuine moment of enjoyment he’d experienced since his rude awakening earlier that morning.

Soon, they were outside the door marked ‘Department of Family Services’. Not entirely certain of the etiquette for approaching this particular branch of the Ministry, Zach decided to slowly open the door and peek in. He was surprised to find a room lined with file cabinets, which surrounded a large wooden desk, piled halfway to the ceiling with file folders. Behind the stack sat a middle-aged woman with glasses and a hair style that looked far too tight to be comfortable.

Her eyes never diverting from the document she was examining, the woman said, “Come on in. I don’t bite.”

Judging by her severe expression, Zach doubted that assessment, but he complied and led Cameron into the office. He took the seat opposite a placard that read ‘Betty Perkins: Head of Family Services’ and fidgeted whilst she kept on writing. Finally, after a veritable eternity with nothing but the sounds of shuffling paper and Cameron trying to blow bubbles with his saliva, Betty was finally ready to get to him.

Stowing away her work in progress, she folded her hands on the desk and looked directly at him. “So, Mr Smith, what can I do for you today?”

Zach was momentarily startled that she knew his name, only to remember that it was on the badge he was given at the visitors’ entrance. “Oh, um, I needed to see if there was anything to be done about a, er, problem of mine.”

“Hmm, I see,” she said, glancing over toward Cameron, who had been distracted by a small box of toys in the far corner of the room. “Are you not making enough to make ends meet, Mr Smith? There’s no shame in asking for help.”

Shaking his head emphatically, he said, “No! My family is one of the wealthiest in the country! That’s not my problem.” Jerking his thumb toward where Cameron was playing, he said under his breath, “That’s my problem.”

Betty’s expression immediately became severe. “Mr Smith, parenthood isn’t something to be taken lightly, and it’s not only your biological responsibility to care for your child, it’s your legal one, as well.”

“But I didn’t know he existed until this morning!” Zach was surprised to find that he was standing, leaning quite threateningly across the table at Betty, who, to her credit, didn’t seem the slightest bit bothered by it. Sinking back into his seat, he said, “He was dumped on my doorstep this morning with a note from his mum, telling me that he’s my problem now. I… I don’t want a kid, and I don’t know how to take care of one.”

“Where is the mother?”

“I don’t know!” Zach exclaimed, raking his fingers through his hair whilst feeling the urge to pull. “She was just someone who I, um, employed. She would be my ‘date’ for family functions and rubbish like that. Occasionally, she would provide other… services, but she always used contraception.”

“I see,” Betty said, disapproval oozing from her voice. “And what is the mother’s name?”

Zach scoured his brain, trying desperately to remember a surname, but none were coming to him. “Mitzy. Just… Mitzy. Don’t know her last name, or even where she lives.”

Betty stopped mid-stroke on the new form she had begun filling out. “You don’t know?” When Zach gave her a blank look, she sighed and rubbed her temples. “I hadn’t realised that was Cameron. I haven’t seen him since he was six months old.”

“Er, you’re going to have to fill me in, here. I’ve no idea what you’re on about.”

“Mitzy’s in jail, Mr Smith. She was just arrested this morning.” Rifling through the litter of case files, Betty pulled out one near the top and opened it. “She turned herself in this morning on several counts of petty theft and fraud in exchange for a lighter sentence. She’s supposed to be arraigned tomorrow morning.”

The room began to close in around Zach rather ominously. “You mean I’m stuck with this kid until she gets her loser arse out of jail?”

“I’m afraid so, Mr Smith. It might even make up for the nearly three years’ worth of child support you never paid.”

“I’ll pay it! Just… can’t he be put in foster care or something?”

Betty removed her glasses and gave Zach the full benefit of what he figured was her most scathing glare. “Mr Smith, dozens of children live in this country without parents for reasons beyond anyone’s control, and we have a foster system designed to make sure their needs are met. We do not cater to apathy and irresponsibility.”

Zach knew that she meant every word, and he felt his stomach lurch. He could barely scrape himself out of bed in the morning, let alone be responsible for feeding, clothing, and providing supervision for a creature more helpless than a puppy. But Betty was letting him know under no uncertain terms that he was stuck with this kid.

With a sigh of resignation, Zach held out his hand and said, “Come on, kid. We have to go now.” The boy complied, which mildly surprised him, but they proceeded out together. However, Betty’s voice stopped them.

“Oh, and Mr Smith, you’ll be getting a home appraisal soon. It would be in your best interest to do well.” Returning to her paperwork, she said, “Have a good afternoon.”

“So, what did your mum steal?� Zach asked Cameron as the boy shovelled macaroni and cheese into his mouth.

Through a face full of food, Cameron mumbled, “Dunno.�

Zach fully suspected the theft was probably needing drug money, but he thought even a whore’s kid should not have to hear certain things until at least double digits. Well, it was his kid, too, even if he did look barely like a human being. Guiltily, he considered the idea that Mitzy might have taken to thievery to pay for a kid she couldn’t afford.

With a groan and a strong urge to drink despite a lingering hangover, Zach said, “Well, I should find somewhere for you to sleep.� He stood and left the room, but he stopped and said, “But if I find one speck of food on the ceiling, I’m trading you in for a Kneazle.�

Not expecting any sort of antics, he turned around in time to see Cameron’s spoon, full of pasta, coiled and ready to fire as the kid gawked at him. “I mean it,� he said, pointing right at Cameron until he set his spoon back down.

Much to his dismay, the only place large enough to put an actual person was the second bedroom in the flat — the one that housed all of Zach’s Quidditch memorabilia. His own room was already full of it, hence the necessity for the extra space, so the only choice was to box it all up or, Merlin forfend, let Cameron within ten feet of it.

Gritting his teeth, Zach flicked his wand at the posters, watching balefully as they rolled up with a snap. Next, he Transfigured a pile of old newspapers into some boxes and sent the still-packaged action men in one by one. Then in went the replica trophies and the special editions of Quidditch Weekly, followed by the matching set of collectors’ brooms, inscribed with the logos of each team in the British and Irish Quidditch League. Finally, the slew of game-used Snitches were painstakingly wrapped in newspaper and stowed, as well.

The boxes were settled into the closet, which had formerly housed the spare bed, and Zach warded and locked in every magical and mechanical way he knew how. In about twenty years, Cameron might have an idea of what these items meant to Zach, but all he would see at that moment were lots and lots of toys to maim and destroy.

Looking longingly at the closet once more, Zach headed back to the kitchen to make sure his entire home wasn’t already covered in macaroni and cheese. He hadn’t expected to find Cameron asleep in his chair, his face smashed awkwardly into the dinner roll Zach had warmed for him. The boy was truly knackered.

Zach scooped up Cameron and deposited him in what would probably have to become his room. Once under the covers, the kid curled up into a small ball, his thumb working his way into his mouth. With a frown of disgust, Zach mentally made lists of possible ways to stop that habit in its tracks, stopping once he realised half the methods on that list would likely get him arrested.

It was then that he spotted the one item he had forgotten to pack up: a nightlight shaped like a Quaffle with a little Appleby Arrows logo on it. Zach had had it since he was barely old enough to walk, and the Illumination Charm on it had been renewed so many times it barely worked anymore.

However, as he started to pick it up, he stopped. When he had been Cameron’s age, Zach had been deathly afraid of the dark. If Cameron had any such fear, he could and would shriek the walls down until there was some sort of light in the room. That just wouldn’t do. Sighing, Zach replaced the night light and exited, leaving the door open just a hair.

Once he was back in the kitchen, Zach cleared away the slimy remnants of dinner and sat at the table with a quill and parchment. Quickly, he penned a note to his supervisor that he would not be able to come to work the next day, either, due to ‘a family matter’ that required his attention. The second missive was addressed to the Daily Prophet’s classified section — specifically, the Help Wanted section. Hopefully, the next day would only require a few interviews with potential nannies and perhaps a little bit of a victory celebration with a bottle of schnapps when he found one. One night of parenting was quite enough for him.

Though he couldn’t imagine how, Zach had forgotten just how beastly women really were. At least, the ones that knew something he didn’t. It put into stark clarity why he had always preferred partaking in Mitzy’s services rather than shop for one who would do all of it for free.

As another applicant huffed out of the room, Zach could feel a headache coming on. He was lucky that Cameron had taken to colouring quietly, or he might have gone spare. Four women, four rejects, and it wasn’t even lunch yet. Well, one of them was probably a woman, but he honestly could not be certain through the severity of her horse-face and pudginess. He fervently hoped that the last two who had responded to his ad in the Prophet would produce more promising results.

As if on cue, there was a knock at the door, which meant the fifth applicant had arrived. Trying his best to not look fit to murder someone, Zach rushed over to the door. As he was opening, he started with a rush, “I’m glad you’ve come to consider the position. I just have a few questions, and —â€Â�

Zach’s rehearsed speech stopped in its tracks when he looked up at the person standing at the door. She had to have been one of the most beautiful people he had ever seen. Her hair was honey-coloured and falling in perfect waves down her back, and he had the overwhelming urge to sniff it to see if she did, indeed, smell like heaven. The line of her jaw appeared almost elven, and her almond-shaped eyes were the colour of fine whisky. He didn’t dare look farther down to keep himself from embarrassing himself.

“Um, hi,� he continued lamely.

Smiling widely, the young woman extended her hand and said, “Hello, Mr Smith. My name is Madison Eastley, and I’m from Family Services. May I come in?�

Now ecstatic that he had not ogled the woman further, Zach gestured towards his living room. “Of course.�

The flat was not particularly tidy, but neither was it crusty and disgusting. A few discarded clothing items were draped over the back of the sofa, but otherwise, Zach was not particularly concerned with the hygienic portion of the inspection.

However, Madison looked less than impressed. She wrinkled her nose and sniffed the air. “What on earth is that smell?�

His brow furrowing, Zach said, “Smell? There is no smell. What smell?� He wanted to know what she was talking about, because never could he recall there being a smell in his flat.

“It smells like . . . foot,� she said finally with a frown. “Mr Smith, as you know, your recent situation has warranted the attention of the Family Services department. Children need loving, safe homes to become happy, well-adjusted adults. I just want you to know that we’re not here to judge you, but rather help you achieve that end.�

Zach harrumphed. “Well, I don’t love the kid. I don’t even know what his middle name is. Hell, I don’t even know if he’s actually mine.� Cocking his head towards Cameron, who was happily scribbling on a pile of old newspapers in the corner, he hissed, “He was just dumped on my doorstep like a piece of post. I don’t even know what to do with a kid, so if you just want to call this whole thing off and take him now, it would probably save us both a lot of work.�

Madison’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t think so, Mr Smith. I think you’re misunderstanding the situation here.� She lowered her voice. “If you are found to be providing an unsafe or inhospitable home for a child without extenuating circumstances, you don’t just lose your son. You go to jail.�

Trying not to take a step backward at the mention of being arrested, Zach threw his hands up. “How is this not extenuating circumstances? I’m not a fit parent, and anyone who has ever known me at all can tell you that.�

Shaking her head, Madison explained, “Extenuating circumstances are situations like long-term health issues, homelessness, or extreme poverty due to unavoidable lack of employment opportunity, which is a very big ‘if’, considering how many programmes we have in place to provide for such things.� She put her hand on Zach’s upper arm and said, “Please, listen to me. This is not a punishment or a prison sentence. Having children is a gift.�

“How many do you have, then?� Zach challenged.

Madison flushed. “I’m actually expecting my first in about six months.�

The corner of Zach’s mouth twitched upward of its own accord. “Then you’re in no position to tell me how much of a blessing a three year old is until you’ve had one launch macaroni and cheese at your face because it’s ‘fun’.� Pointing towards the door, he said, “Now, if you’re done harassing me, please go. If not, make this quick. You may be hot, but I’ve decided that I really don’t like you.�

Fully expecting her to flee or cower, Zach did not expect what happened next. Madison took a step forward and squared her shoulders, and for a moment, he found her to be more intimidating than even Betty Perkins. “Mr Smith, let me explain something to you. Nine years ago, there was a war. Dozens of people died, and a lot more than that lost everything.

“Our social services network is stretched to its limits taking care of upwards of fifty war orphans and three times that many families who can’t even afford a place to stay, so you can imagine how much your apathy towards your own flesh and blood really doesn’t make me very sympathetic.� Poking her finger in Cameron’s direction, she emphasised, “That boy over there is your family, whether you like it or not. You are a grown man, and you need to take responsibility for your actions.�

Withdrawing, Madison’s face transformed back into the picture of a beautiful damsel. “Now, I think I’ve seen all I need to see for now. I just wanted to get a bead on where you are as a parent so we can work on things and get you on the right track, but as far as unexpected parents go, your attitude is, frankly, appalling. I’ll give you two weeks to make some decent progress. I suggest you use them wisely.�

Madison turned on the spot and headed to the door. “I’ll be seeing you, Mr Smith,� she called over her shoulder.

Zach shuddered. That sort of strain on his nerves was precisely what he didn’t need, and he still had two interviews to do. He couldn’t stop the roar of frustration from coming out, but he wished he had done when he felt a tug on his trouser leg.

“That lady don’t like you,� Cameron said as if revealing the biggest secret in the universe.

“I noticed,� Zach replied flatly. “Now, get back to your colouring. I have work to do.�

Cameron’s face twisted into a cartoonish pout. “I don’t want to colour anymore,� he mumbled as he crossed his arms defiantly. “I wanna play outside.�

Though he briefly considered the pros and cons of letting Cameron play outside in the street unsupervised, he shook his head. “You can’t play outside here. There are too many cars and scary Muggles roaming about.�

The boy looked ready to start crying, so Zach had never been so relieved to hear a knock at the door in his life. “Be right there,� he called before growling at Cameron, “and you be quiet, or you’ll scare her away.�

Ignoring the slew of questions bubbling out of Cameron’s mouth, Zach practically ran to the door. However, he had not, in a hundred millennia, expected to see the person standing on the other side. She, apparently, had a similar reaction.

“It’s you!� they both exclaimed at once.

Zach shook his head. “No, no, no. Thank you for coming, but no.�

Eloise Midgen stood up straight — all five-foot-nothing of her height — and looked him in the eye. “Trust me, if I’d have known it was you who put the ad out, I would’ve boiled myself in Flobberworm mucus rather than show up on your doorstep.â€Â�

A chirp of laughter sprang from Zach’s throat. “I’m pretty sure people don’t hire trolls to work indoors. Try a circus.�

At Eloise’s gasp, Zach rolled his eyes and was about to slam the door in the face of the girl who was, he was fairly certain, too ugly for human eyes — a fact which he had never forsaken an opportunity to remind her of at school. However, just as his hand closed around the handle, there was a crash and an accompanying wail that sounded like a large bird shrieking.

“You want how much?�

Eloise glared at Zach as he balked at the ridiculous sum of money she had just asked for. “Your son has no clothes, no toys, and no food for someone his age.� Eloise crossed her arms, as if daring him to negate what she had said. “You’re just lucky I know where to shop so it doesn’t cost twice as much.�

Zach rubbed his forehead. “He eats, sleeps, and poops. How much could that possibly cost?�

And then the counting again.

“Babies, Zach.� The exasperation was clear in Eloise’s voice. “Babies do that. Cameron is not a baby. He needs stimulation, something to keep him occupied, and clean clothes to wear every day. He can’t live off of macaroni and cheese forever, either. It’s not healthy.�

“Fine!� Zach cried as he dug in his desk for his chequebook. He scribbled out Eloise’s name and the amount before thrusting it in her face. “Here. One-hundred Galleons! There had better be a receipt for every damned Knut of that, as well, or all of it will come out of your paycheque!�

She poked him in the chest. “First off, stop shouting at me, or I’ll put you over my knee like a five-year-old. Second of all, you should be ashamed of yourself that you’ve had your son for almost three days and haven’t given him a bath.�

“I —â€Â� Zach started. However, as Eloise’s eyes narrowed, he thought better of attempting to explain himself. He doubted that ‘it had never crossed my mind’ was on her list of viable excuses. Instead, he frowned and asked, “Um, then does he get a bath once he has clean clothes, or does he get one before you take him out shopping?â€Â�

Eloise blinked at him. “How are you even an adult?� Zach made a sour face, but she shook her head and continued, “No, really. I want to know how you have managed to live on your own this long.� With that, she marched into his room and pulled an old set of his Hogwarts robes out of the closet. She waved her wand, and the robes shrunk to a third of their previous size.

“Now, I’m going to give him a bath, and you’re going to watch.�

Zach scrunched his nose. “Isn’t that something paedos do?�

He did not expect a slap on the head, but nonetheless it came. “No, you numpty! It’s something daddies do.�

Rubbing the tender spot where Eloise had hit him with surprising force, Zach glared at her balefully. He was beginning to see the error of his ways — mainly, the mistake he had made in hiring an imperious shrew to be his son’s nanny. Surely, somewhere in the whole of wizarding England, there had to be someone qualified to take care of Cameron who didn’t have a defective personality.

He felt no need to inflict further assault, so Zach quietly watched as Eloise routinely scrubbed the nooks and crannies while Cameron happily splashed bubbles all over the loo. Neither of them seemed the worse for wear, and he had to admit that he could not have possibly done better on his own. With a resigned huff, Zach admitted to himself that he probably didn’t even wash himself so well. Cameron didn’t seem to mind the process at all, as evidenced by the squeal he let out when Eloise pulled him out of the tub and tickled his sides.

As she was dressing her charge in the shrunken robes, Eloise frowned at the nappy Cameron had been wearing. “Well done to his mum for sending him to you with a Nanny Sitwell’s Vanishing Nappy. I seriously doubt you would’ve thought of buying him one of these.�

Zach’s face flamed. In truth, he had never once considered that a three-year-old would still wear a nappy, but then he recalled the number of times Cameron had asked him to help him go to the loo. Zero. Instead of incriminating himself further, Zach changed the subject. “So, when are you going to Diagon Alley?�

With narrowed eyes, Eloise said, “I have half a mind to make you go, but I think after this display today, we need to start with the basics. Like bathing. And cleaning.� She took Cameron’s hand after using her wand to siphon off the water splashes from the bath. “Try tidying up a bit while we’re gone. This place smells like foot.�

“Does not!� he shouted after her as she strode through the front door with his hundred Galleon cheque. Sniffing the air for good measure, he ignored his own involuntary cringe and muttered, “It’s not that bloody bad.�

Determined to show that he was not a slob, Zach stood in the living room and decided that Eloise and Madison were wrong. He lifted every piece of furniture and cleaned underneath as the Hoovercraft buzzed about the room. He was glad Eloise hadn’t been there when he’d unearthed the cache of dirty socks from beneath the sofa, nor the old plate lurking behind it. Or the crumpled takeaway wrapper stuffed into the cushions.

Three hours later, Eloise returned to the flat carrying a single shopping bag, and Zach’s jaw dropped. “A hundred Galleons, and that’s all you’ve brought?�

“It’s an Extension Charm shopping bag, genius,� she sighed. “How many people can actually carry all of that by themselves without one?� She set the bag on the floor and dug into her pocket. Withdrawing a handful of coins and a small stack of receipts, she said, “Eighty-four Galleons, nine Sickles, fourteen Knuts was the total. Fifteen Galleons, seven Sickles, fifteen Knuts is your change.� Paying him no further mind, she whisked Cameron off to his bedroom.

Zach perused the receipts and change and, to his aggravation, found the calculations to be correct. He begrudgingly accepted that he probably would have spent more than a hundred, providing Eloise bought all the things she had said she would. Curious, he bent over to rifle through the shopping bag. “So, what have we got here?�

Out of the bag, Zach pulled three paper sacks from Harpers Magical Mercantile, full of various foods that looked despicably healthy; a pile of paper-wrapped bundles from a place called Rosie’s Robe Exchange; a large blue wooden box with yellow stripes on it; and a small Honeydukes purchase. He eyed the Honeydukes bag, but a niggling granule of guilt made him put it back where he found it.

He was in the process of loading the packages from Rosie’s on the dining table when Eloise came out. “Inspecting your purchases, I assume.�

Each one of the wrappers contained a matching set of jumpers and trousers, except for three, which held pants, socks and shoes, and a cloak. There were about six changes of clothes in total, plus a three-pack of Vanishing Nappies balled up inside the cloak. Next, Zach decided to see what was lurking in the box, which upon further inspection he saw was a trunk.

Inside was a plethora of toys, some of which he was sure were used, but they seemed clean and functional. There was even a Quidditch play set with all the figurines still included, and Zach had to fight the urge to mess with that himself. In the bottom, he found a set of bedclothes with grinning little stars on them that winked when he looked at them.

In a word, Zach was impressed. Though he had no idea where Eloise got most of these things, he would’ve been hard-pressed to think about half of these things, let alone spend under a hundred for them. His curiosity satisfied, he packed the toys back into the trunk and carried it into his son’s room.

“Not going to inspect the food, then?� Eloise asked, her arms crossed.

Zach shook his head. “This all looks . . . great, Ellie. Thank you,� he said with surprising veracity.

The unexpected compliment seemed to have thrown Eloise for a loop, as she did not chide Zach for his use of the nickname she hated. Instead, she smiled at him, and it transformed her face. At the moment, Zach could not remember why he had ever found her ugly.

The day had been a long one for Zach, but he was not looking forward to its imminent ending. His first thought was one of frustration because he would have to return to work the next day, but moreover, it meant that Eloise would have to leave him alone with Cameron.

He could not fathom how she had struck such a quick rapport with a child she had met just that day. It had been nearly three days since Cameron had arrived on his doorstep, but Zach had yet to feel connected to him as a person, let alone as a parent. Don’t people just feel that? he wondered. Eloise certainly did, but Zach still looked at his son and saw a slobbering tangle of chubby limbs that was an encroachment on his privacy and his purse.

Sinking onto the sofa with a steaming cup of tea, Zach breathed a sigh of relief. Cameron had been put to bed, so he could finally relax. Eloise was gathering her things to leave for the night, but on an impulse, he called out to her. Poking her head through the door, she asked, “Did you need something?�

“I, er, just wanted to talk to you a bit about things.� Zach frowned at his own stuttering. “But if you need to get going, it could wait.�

Eloise shrugged and moved to sit on the other side of the sofa. “I can stay a bit. It’s Mum’s knitting circle tonight, so she won’t be home for a while.�

“You live with your mum?â€Â� Zach was surprised that someone as focused and responsible as Eloise still lived at home. She had to be at least twenty-seven, which was past the age when most children left the nest. Zach himself had left within a month of finishing Hogwarts — though most of that stemmed from wanting to shag girls without taking them to his parents’ house. There were fewer girls than he had planned (namely, one) in that timeframe, but nonetheless, he had treasured his freedom.

Sighing, Eloise said, “Mum gets lonely sometimes, and she likes having me around. But really, with how hard it is to find a job these days, all I’ve been able to find without OWLs or NEWTs are temporary jobs that barely pay minimum wage.�

His brows shot up. “You don’t have any OWLs or NEWTs?�

Eloise shook her head. “My mum pulled me out of school in fifth year when my dad got killed, and after the war was over, she just . . . couldn’t bear the thought of me being gone for that long. That, and the idea of being a seventeen-year-old fifth-year was a bit too ridiculous to me.�

“But won’t your mum miss you when you’re here all the time?� Zach asked, moderately shocked that he actually wanted to know. “I mean, it’s not like you live here, but you’ll end up spending over half the day here.�

“She’s learning to get on without me around all the time, so I’ll find a place of my own soon.� Eloise wrapped her arms around her middle and looked pointedly at the paisley print on the sofa. “We’re finally to the point where she understands that Dad isn’t coming home, no matter how much she hopes he does.�

He had no idea how to respond to that. All he remembered was that Eloise had left school and not come back in the time he was there, but he had barely noticed and cared even less at the time. Now, however, he found that he genuinely wanted to know more about her. “What happened to him?�

“He was an Auror,� she started, still not looking at Zach. “He was patrolling Diagon Alley the day Death Eaters came looking for old Ollivander, and he was the first to respond. One of those lot hexed him into St Mungo’s, and he died a couple months later. Mum couldn’t cope, so she pulled me out of school.�

“I’m sorry,� Zach said vacantly, acutely aware of how little he had noticed his schoolmates’ fates during and after the war. He recalled that Susan Bones had not gone back to Hogwarts to finish seventh year, and that Justin Finch-Fletchley was a completely different person these days. Little else had caught his attention, though.

It was then that Zach realised that Eloise was looking at him intently. “You really have changed,� she said finally. “At first, I was sure you were just like you used to be, but I think you’ve done a little bit of growing up.�

Zach wanted to deny her statement — mostly because it wasn’t true, but in part because it seemed to be only her who had brought out this unfamiliar need to know things he previously could not have cared less about. Instead, he opted for, “You’ve changed, too.â€Â�

Eloise coloured. “Well, um, I . . . I couldn’t afford to be a scared little girl anymore. When my dad died, for the first time in my life, you weren’t the worst thing that ever happened to me.�

Shame trickled its way up Zach’s throat to the point where he thought he might choke on it. “I’m sorry,� he said truthfully. “I was a git. Well, I’m still a git, but I was rotten to you. I’m actually surprised you’re even speaking to me.�

She looked away from him, staring at a spot on the wall for what seemed like forever before saying, “We’ve all done stupid things to try to fit in. It’s easy to pick on the spotty girl when everyone else is doing it.� Exhaling heavily, Eloise stood. “Well, it’s time for me to go. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.�

The abrupt change in her demeanour rendered Zach momentarily speechless. “Yeah, tomorrow,� he said to the closed door well after she had already left.

The next week rolled by in a similar fashion as the first couple of days with Eloise around: she would scold Zach for his errant behaviour whilst instructing him on how to be a parent. In a relatively short time, Cameron was eating vegetables without being coerced and was very receptive to toilet training, which Zach had feared would never come about.

Eloise was rapidly becoming the linchpin of his entire home life. She wasn’t just taking care of Cameron; she was fashioning Zach into a proper parent, and he marvelled at how she had done that despite his kicking and screaming.

It was Friday, and as Zach sat at his desk at Dolman & Markle Accounting, grinding his palms into his eyes to scrub out the need to sleep, he thought about the upcoming weekend. Eloise was not going to come over at all, leaving Zach solely in charge of Cameron’s care for the first time since the boy arrived.

Zach idly drummed the tip of his quill on the stack of parchment in front of him, ignoring the ink splattering on a client’s ledger. Something weighed on his mind more than the numbers scrawled all over the page. Something that he was certain was insane.

He was going to miss Eloise.

She had so quickly embedded herself into his daily routine. Every morning at eight, she would knock on the door before letting herself in. If he was not awake when she arrived, she would swat him with her purse — more than once saving him from being late to work due to child-inflicted bouts of exhaustion, no matter how many profanity-laced tirades it caused. He had even started eating breakfast at her urging, which was one particular mealtime that he had quit observing after Hogwarts.

With an unusually heavy train of thought, Zach absently cobbled together the rest of the numbers for his current client. He was nearly done for the day, and once he was finished, he quickly turned in his work and fled for the exit.

However, just as he was about to exit, Mr Markle called, “Smith!�

Biting back an annoyed sigh, Zach turned to address his boss. “Yes, Mr Markle?�

Markle smiled. “There’s something different about you, lad. You seem less . . .�

Bored? Disinterested? Not in possession of a damn to give about financial contracts? Zach’s mind offered up.

“Drunk,� Markle finished.

Zach raised a brow in surprise. “I, um, don’t know what you mean.�

Markle shook his head. “You’ve gone a week without coming in hung over. Maybe parenthood is agreeing with you.� The older man nodded approvingly, his pointed hat sliding down his brow and onto the bridge of his nose.

Turning around, Zach fled the building before he started laughing at the man who signed his paycheques. He tossed a curt ‘see you’ over his shoulder almost as an afterthought, hoping that his employer would resume their previous relationship based entirely on mutual disinterest.

As Zach headed towards the Apparition lane in Diagon Alley, he contemplated swinging by Honeydukes and picking up some Pineapple Pixies, the sweets Eloise had brought home from her shopping excursion. Though she had purchased them for Cameron as a gift for being good whilst they were out, Zach had seen her snatch one and pop it into her mouth. He couldn’t remember ever seeing someone enjoy something so thoroughly.

His mind made up, he turned down the side street that led to the main thoroughfare of Diagon Alley and breathed a sigh of relief that Honeydukes had not yet hit the Ministry after-work rush. Inside, he waved down one of the shop attendants and pointed towards the barrel of tiny yellow, fluttering confections.

The young woman who approached him, whose badge indicated her name was Shellie, smiled widely and asked, “How much would you like today?�

“Uh . . .� Zach stared at the barrel before digging around in his pockets for loose coins. He realised that he hadn’t been to Gringotts all week, as the change from Eloise’s excursion had been enough for lunch since then. All he had was a couple of Sickles. “What can I buy with this?�

Shellie’s smile tightened. “The Pineapple Pixies are a premium product, as they’re out of season. I’m afraid the most we can do for that much is five.�

With a heavy sigh, Zach grumbled, “Fine.� They proceeded to the checkout, and as he handed over the only two coins in his robe pocket, he said, “I don’t suppose you do gift wrapping.�

Seeing her opportunity to alleviate the awkward nature of the transaction, Shellie asked, “So, who are you buying for?�

“My, uh, son’s nanny, actually,� Zach stuttered, curiously defensive about his reason for purchase. “She’s been great, and I wanted to say ‘thank you’.�

“Aww,� Shellie crooned. “Aren’t you a peach!� She held up a finger for him to wait, but before he could ask where the hell she was going, she flitted off. About five minutes later, she returned with a purple box, complete with a flowing pink ribbon tied around it. A white tag jutted out of the bow sitting on top, which had a blank ‘To’ and ‘From’. “What’s your name, love?�

“Zach,� he replied, now wishing he hadn’t asked. The box looked oddly romantic, and he didn’t want to give Eloise any reason to shout at him. Not that night. “And her name is Eloise,� he chimed without prompting.

Shellie swished her wand, and both the names appeared in a flowing, elegant script. Zach was impressed by the perfection of the wrapping, and as he inspected the box that Shellie handed him, he was glad he had asked, after all. “Thank you,� he said honestly.

“And I tossed in a couple extra Pixies, since you’re such a gentleman.�

With a chortle, Zach answered, “I don’t believe I’ve ever been accused of that before.�

Giggling, Shellie patted his hand. “Shame on everyone for that, then.�

Zach came to the uncomfortable conclusion that Shellie was flirting with him, which even in his perspective was tactless considering he was buying a gift for another woman. “Yeah,� he said quickly before backing away, nearly toppling over a stand of Spanish Marziposas. “Thank you, Shellie. I, er, appreciate it.�

Zach nearly sprinted out of the shop once he was out of eyeshot of the checkout counter. Though he didn’t find Shellie’s soft, blonde curls or relatively attractive face unappealing, he simply was not in the mood for mindless courtship rituals. At that thought, he abruptly stopped walking in the middle of the pavement, looked down at the elaborately-wrapped package in his hand, and started laughing.

Eloise stared at the package that Zach, who watched her expectantly, had just given her. Her jaw mimicked speech, but no sound came out. Zach nervously drummed his fingers on his hip. For one startling moment, he worried that she thought his gesture had been interpreted as romantic and was off-putting.

“Just so you know,� he said hurriedly, “this is just a thank you for being so, um, dependable.�

Brow raised, Eloise hummed, “Right.� She gently untied the ribbon and rolled it up into a tidy spool before removing the lid. A shriek Zach would not have expected popped out of her mouth. “Pixies!�

Zach stared at his feet. “Yeah, um, you seemed to like them, so I picked up a few for you.� He didn’t dare look up; he could practically feel her staring at him.

He never expected her to smack him.

“You really think I’m that easy?� she spat, her brows knit into a solid line of disapproval. “That you can swoop in with some posh little sweet boxes and I’ll just fall down at your feet?�

Still clutching the box, Eloise span around and stomped off to the loo. The door slammed behind her with a spectacular thud, jarring the Arrows poster framed above the sofa. Zach stared after her with a wide-eyed stare. That hadn’t gone remotely like he had expected. Of any of the reactions he had anticipated, being slapped across the face was not one of them. He had been aiming for something more along the lines of mild surprise with a touch of gratitude.

Cameron, who had been playing in his room, walked up to Zach, his fingers in his mouth, and said, “Ellie-weeze is sad.�

Zach swooped and picked up Cameron, settling the child’s weight on his hip. Approaching the loo door with caution, he leant his ear against it to listen. The muffled sound of sniffling met his ears, and suddenly, he felt a wave of shame and wasn’t even sure why.

“Ellie,� he called through the door, punctuating his hail with a couple of soft knocks. “Ellie, whatever you think it is, I promise it isn’t like that.�

“Don’t call me Ellie!�

“I’m sorry, Eloise!â€Â� Zach growled, becoming increasingly unhappy with the need to apologise for a simple gesture. “I wanted to do something nice for you because you’ve done such a great job. I know I’ve been an arse in the past —â€Â�

“Don’t swear in front of your son!�

He ignored her reprimand. “— but I should at least get the benefit of the doubt here!â€Â�

Setting Cameron down, he pointed the boy towards his bedroom and said softly, “Go play for a bit while Daddy and Ellie chat.�

Cameron looked ready to object, but Zach squared his jaw and any idea of mutiny appeared to stop in its tracks. When the sounds of childish Quidditch commentary came from the adjacent room, Zach turned his attention back to the other childish tantrum. “This is ridiculous, Eloise. You said you thought I’d changed, but you’re treating me like I’m some sort of slick git who’s only interested in climbing up your robes.�

The door flew open, and the harsh whoosh of air was the only thing that warned Zach to step back and avoid a blow to the face. “Why are you being so crazy?�

“I —â€Â� Eloise stopped and looked Zach in the eye. When he frowned at the evidence that she had been crying, she looked away. “I thought you didn’t have the power to hurt me anymore, Zach.â€Â�

With an irritated grunt, Zach put his forefinger under Eloise’s chin and angled her face so they were once again face to face. “This has nothing to do with that thing in your third year, and you know it. I’m not that guy anymore, and if I hadn’t been a ridiculous prat over a decade ago, I wouldn’t have done it.� He dropped his hand and walked away to slouch onto the sofa. “I suppose I owe you a bit more than an apology, but do you really think either of us would be here right now if I really needed to keep on paying for what I did when I was bloody fourteen?�

Eloise cast a worried glance at Cameron’s door, which was open and well within earshot of their argument. Lowering her voice, she hissed, “You really have no idea what you did to me, do you? I haven’t even been on so much as a coffee date since that day.�

“Really?� Zach asked, genuinely surprised.

“Really!â€Â� Eloise sat heavily next to Zach. “Do you have any idea how hard it is to know that the only boy who ever looked at you twice — the only one who ever asked you to Hogsmeade, who kissed you behind The Three Broomsticks — did it on a dare?â€Â�

Zach rolled his eyes. “Oh, please. It can’t be any worse than my former escort dumping a kid off on my doorstep without much more than a name.� He had never told Eloise about Mitzy, even though she had expressed interest in Cameron’s parentage more than once.

When her head jerked towards him in surprise, Zach shrugged. “It’s been hard to find someone who doesn’t remember me like you do. Mitzy just . . . didn’t care. I paid her monthly to be my date once a week and for the occasional shag.�

Blinking, Eloise stared at Zach before bursting out into laughter. “We are a pair, aren’t we?� she said when she could finally breathe, only to laugh once more. Once she finally calmed, she said, “I owe you an apology, Zach. You’re right. I jumped to conclusions because of me, not because of you.� She swiped at the wetness on her cheeks and exhaled resignedly. “You have changed, and the Pixies were a really nice thing to get. I just . . . you probably don’t remember, do you?�

At his vacant expression, she continued. “That’s what you got me at Honeydukes that day. ‘A Pixie for my pixie’, is what you said. They were my favourite.�

The event started to come back to Zach. “And when Cameron wanted them, you probably had to bite your tongue not to set me on fire when you got home.�

“A little,� she confessed. “I hadn’t had one since that day in Hogsmeade. The one I had last week was the first in a long time, and I’d forgotten how much I loved the flavour.� She rubbed her eyes. “Gods, I am so sorry. Cameron shouldn’t see us fighting, and I shouldn’t be acting like such a shrew.�

Zach wanted to nod in agreement but thought better of it. Instead, he patted her shoulder and said, “Let’s just put this behind us. I’ll get started on tea, you enjoy your Pixies, and we can forget this ever happened.�

“Fair enough,� Eloise said, her face clearly wrought with relief. “I’ll start on the chicken, then.�

More than a bit shocked at her statement, Zach stopped in his tracks. “You’re staying for tea, then?�

Eloise nodded. “I think I will.�

Soft, strong hands were kneading the muscles in his lower back, and Zach could almost feel himself drooling in bliss. Over and over, fingers pulsed out a tune into the depths of his flesh, sending shivers of delight into the far reaches of his body.

“Mmm, lower,� he moaned into his pillow. When those glorious hands complied, he sighed. “Oh, yeah.�

“Daddy,� a vague, disembodied voice said.

Zach chuckled. “Ooh, you’re a naughty girl.�

The voice insisted. “Daddy!�

“Yeah, I’ll be your daddy.� With a sloppy grin, he rolled over. “Come to daddy.�

“Daddy, Daddy, wake up!�

With a grumble, Zach opened his eyes. Cameron’s face was poking over the side of the bed as he persistently shook Zach’s leg. “Daddy, I’m hungry.�

The fog of sleep began to disperse and the dream faded back into reality. “Merlin’s bleeding beard!� he cried as he bunched up his bedclothes in his lap and shot up into a sitting position. Giving himself a few seconds to shake off the now wildly inappropriate dream, Zach told Cameron, “Go to the kitchen, and I’ll be there soon.�

As the boy toddled off, Zach peeked under the covers at his midsection and mumbled, “Fantastic.�

Ten minutes later, he arrived in the kitchen to find a very impatient child pulling open a cabinet door, reaching for a jar of peanut butter. “Oh, no you don’t,� Zach said as he plucked the boy off the floor and deposited him into his booster chair.

“But Ellie-weese lets me make sawwiches,� Cameron pouted.

Faking a tight smile, Zach said through clenched teeth, “Well, she isn’t here, so you’re stuck with me.â€Â� He ignored the clamour of protest behind him as he stared at the cupboard and the fridge, wondering which he was supposed to do in the morning. It was then that he found a piece of paper Spellotaped to the front of the fridge at eye-level. It was a list of mealtimes, acceptable foods, and portions — along with a command from Eloise to not feed him macaroni and cheese for breakfast, under threat of dismemberment. “Gods, I love you, Ellie,â€Â� he hissed under his breath as he finally knew where to start.

Five minutes later, Cameron was happily munching on peanut butter toast and milk while Zach foraged for his own repast. He frowned when he found another note taped to his favourite cereal, which he could almost hear Eloise saying, “This is garbage, and you shouldn’t be eating it. Try oatmeal and yoghurt instead.�

Swearing under his breath, Zach defiantly yanked the note off his Magic Marshmallow Malte-Os and pulled out a bowl. However, just as he unfurled the bag inside, he felt a small pang of guilt, and with a string of profanities he only later hoped that Cameron hadn’t heard, he put the box back into the cabinet and pulled out the oatmeal next to it instead.

“How the hell do you make this, anyway?� Zach examined the canister and found instructions that even he could manage. “Garnish with fruit?� He frowned. “What fruit?�

Cameron piped up. “In the fridge, Daddy.�

Opening said fridge, though he didn’t recall buying fruit at any point in the past . . . ever, Zach rooted around until he found a large cache of a dozen different varieties, all portioned out for quick use. Snatching a small container of raspberries, he dumped a handful into his cooked oatmeal and hoped that it would taste better than it looked. He had never liked oatmeal as a child and never ate it as an adult.

“Daddy, you should eat,� Cameron said with a bob of his head. “Ellie-weese says good food is ‘portant.�

Zach glowered at his bowl and said to himself, “Ellie-weeze seems to have a lot to say, considering she’s not here.� With a heavy sigh, he spooned a liberal amount of oatmeal and shoved it into his mouth.

Paper. It tasted like wet paper. He was fairly certain that oatmeal had no redeeming qualities aside from the obnoxiously pleasant raspberries masking the vile flavour sticking to the roof of his mouth. Finally gulping it down, Zach looked at his son, who was licking remnants of peanut butter off his fingers, and asked, “Does she make you eat this?�

Nodding, Cameron chimed, “I like it.�

“That makes one of us,� Zach growled as he shovelled an even larger spoonful into his mouth, hoping he would finish sooner rather than later. Merlin knew what it tasted like cold. He shuddered inwardly at the thought as he ploughed his way through the rest of the bowl.

Soon, Cameron was begging Zach to start playtime, which promptly made the latter wish that Eloise had left instructions for that, as well. That was, however, until he reached the trunk of toys and found that, on the wall above it, she had. “Educational games first. Toys second.�

And, of course, there was a detailed list of which were which. The one that sounded the least boring to him was the memory matching card game, so he shuffled the deck a little bit and laid them out as instructed on the pack. From how quickly Cameron engaged, it was obvious that he played this game often with Eloise.

Cameron squealed with delight when he matched two pictures of brooms together. A matronly voice said enthusiastically, “That’s right! You have two brooms. B-R-O-O-M, broom.� Zach was moderately impressed with how quickly Cameron managed to find matches, nodding in approval when he spelled along out loud with the cards he knew.

After that, much to Zach’s enjoyment, Cameron wanted to play with the Quidditch action men. They played a spirited match in which Zach, with surprising little reluctance, allowed his son to win. It was only when Zach looked up at the Miggs the Mad Muggle clock on the wall that he noticed that it was snack time.

Zach and Cameron both had yoghurt and fruit, which was not nearly as vile as the oatmeal had been, and the granola topping was shockingly edible considering its beastly resemblance to oatmeal. While he would never concede to eating oatmeal on purpose again, Zach mused, he hadn’t realised how much he actually did enjoy the taste of fruit. Both he and Cameron favoured the strawberries, which Zach hoped that Eloise would keep on buying. He would never complain about her money requests again.

With the random, detailed notes sprinkled about the flat, Zach found it surprisingly simple to keep Cameron fed and occupied throughout the day — the only real roadblock being when Cameron decided he wanted to use the toilet and wouldn’t leave the loo for twenty minutes. Zach was less than impressed with the wet toilet roll sculpture of what looked like a Dementor left for him on the counter, or that his toothbrush was sticking out of it like a flagpole.

Finally, it was naptime, which Zach had been looking forward to since the loo incident. An hour all to himself, without the obligation to curb his tongue or entertain small people, was a wonderful boon, and he refused to waste it on cleaning up in the kitchen. That could wait until later. Instead, he slouched back on the sofa and enjoyed a respite of his own.

This time, when small hands were yanking on his trouser legs, begging for a snack, Zach was prepared. Armed with carrot sticks and peanut butter, as per Eloise’s instructions, Zach did the dishes while Cameron was distracted by food.

This is actually kind of relaxing, Zach thought as he mopped up the remnants of breakfast and lunch. Cameron was happy and not out of sight, and Zach felt like this was something he could actually manage twice a week. And on a beautiful Saturday afternoon when the sun was actually shining for once, he felt like a quick trip to the park down the street wasn’t out of order.

Zach had to admit to himself that the smell of fresh air was good, and judging by Cameron’s persistent tugging on his hand to go faster, the boy liked it as well. The park was crowded, but not so much so that Zach couldn’t find an unoccupied bench looking out over the play area. Together, Cameron and a set of twin girls who happened to snare him spelunked the maze of large plastic tubes, with giggles emanating from their depths almost constantly.

It was then that Zach felt the warmth of the sun blanket him, and the lack of stimuli drew his attention towards the birds flitting from tree to tree and then to the bulbous clouds and the ever-changing shapes. And then his mind wandered to Eloise. He wondered how she would feel, watching him right then as he dutifully followed her instructions and more without either of them ending up in St Mungo’s.

Eloise was a different person than he remembered at Hogwarts. She had always been a target — easily honed in on and easily struck. He hadn’t realised she had a strong sense of duty or a well of patience with both himself and Cameron, not to mention a litany of domestic skills Zach had found hitherto useless or impossible. She was, in short, the perfect nanny. He could even get used to her bossing him around or maligning his favourite cereal.

And she wasn’t half bad-looking, either, considering her previous acne affliction. He would’ve been surprised if she hadn’t found a household spell for that, as well. Shrew or no shrew, even after the Pixie incident, he was genuinely sure he was happy she was around.

The sun glaring into his eyes alerted Zach that dusk was fast approaching, and with that, he looked around to find Cameron. He scratched his chin when the boy was nowhere in sight before poking his head into the crawl tubes. “Cameron!� he called into every open space. “Cam, you in there, kiddo?�

Frustration soon gave way to panic as he couldn’t, no matter where he looked, find his son.

A Muggle police officer approached Zach as he tore through the park grounds. “Can I help you, sir?�

“My son!� Zach barked, shoving his fingers roughly into his hair. “He’s gone missing!� At the officer’s prompt, Zach gave a description of Cameron and the last place he had seen the boy. Once he could get himself free, he frantically searched and searched again, roving every square visible inch of the park, but to no avail. Cameron was gone.

Realising for the first time that he was truly scared for the life of the child that had been thrust into his care, Zach did the only thing he could think of doing:

He called Eloise.

When Eloise arrived, Zach was prowling mad circles around the park while interrogating anyone who looked old enough to speak. The latest recipients of the ferocious fatherly concern — of which he had considered himself incapable up until that point — were the twins Cameron had played with until the boy had vanished a half-hour before.

“Zach!� Eloise called, interrupting a rambling account of the kids’ game of hide-and-seek.

With a heavy sigh, Zach said, “Thank Merlin you’re here. I’m going out of my mind here, and these tiny little terrorists are not remotely helpful.� He glared at the twin girls, who had moved on to the swings, to punctuate his point.

Eloise didn’t speak for what felt like an eternity to Zach. He had been waiting for her to set into him like a starving dog on a bucket of steak, but her silence spooked him more than any words that could’ve possibly come out of her mouth. Then she started to cry, and he realised how utterly incorrect he had been in that assumption. “Oh, gods, what do I do?� he murmured.

“You lost him!� she shrieked, her reddened eyes glaring at him accusingly. “Just when I thought you’d grown up enough to make it two days without someone wiping your arse for you, this is what you do?�

Well, she wasn’t crying anymore, Zach marked dryly.

The shame her words brought on stuck to him uncomfortably. “I just zoned out for a minute . . . I didn’t think —â€Â�

“No, you didn’t think!â€Â� she shouted. “Do you have any idea what sort of twisted people roam around London? There are kidnappers, child molesters, drug dealers, serial killers — all sorts of nutters who could do horrible things to a defenceless child.â€Â� She grabbed his shoulders and shook him remarkably hard for someone of her diminutive size. “It only takes a few seconds.â€Â�

Pushing her away from him, Zach felt something cold and scratchy catch in his throat as he said, “Don’t you think I know that?�

He could see her fighting to maintain control as several by-standers, who had already become interested in the policeman who had shown up and was looking for Cameron, turned to observe what no doubt looked like a domestic. Without a thought to how it might’ve looked to spectators, Zach closed his arms around Eloise and hugged her to him tightly. “I have to find him,� he said, half to himself and half to her, and with a surprising amount of resolve. “I have to.�

Eloise didn’t yell or push him away anymore; she latched onto him with equal force. Zach would’ve found the gesture bizarre if not for the clawing need brewing in his gut to tear the landscape apart until Cameron turned up, happily eating dirt or playing with a stray cat and not being abducted by a paedophilic, drugged up, child-napping murderer like Eloise feared.

At the moment, he almost forgot that Eloise had only known Cameron for a week, yet had hated him for half her life before then. Somehow, she was the first person he thought to call in times of trouble, and he felt like he deserved every reprimand she gave him for this catastrophe because what she said mattered. He had never actually known anyone who held that sort of power with him; the burden it carried was a heavy but welcomed one.

Determination caught hold of him after that thought. He stepped back, took a deep breath to calm his shaking nerves, and said, “I’m going to look some more. Stay here in case he comes back so he has someone he knows around.� Glancing at the onlookers, he pointed towards several of them. “You, you, and you: check the north end by the stream. You lot, talk to the kids. You, with the mobile phone, ring the police. You, check the car park.�

To Zach’s everlasting surprise, every one of them complied. At the very least, as fellow parents, they would have understood the frantic need to see the situation resolved. Fellow parents, he scoffed to himself as he jogged off towards the little copse of trees in the middle of the park. Some parent he was, losing his kid on the first public outing since that distant-feeling visit to social services.

“Cameron!� he cried, over and over again. At this point, Zach’s legs felt like they were on fire from the unusual amount of exertion, but he trekked on with the aid of an Anti-Inflammation Charm and a hearty supply of willpower.

It wasn’t until Zach’s voice refused to respond with much more than a whisper that his legs followed suit, soon followed by his determination. He leant against a tree and slowly, achlingly, slid downwards until he sat dejectedly at the base of the trunk. Something hot and angry itched at the back of his eyelids, which was when Zach realised that he was actually in tears. The strange thing was that he didn’t even care.

“Daddy?�

Zach’s head whipped to his left, where he could have sworn he heard Cameron call for him, but there was nothing there. Convinced his conscience was taking the mickey out of him, Zach resumed his brooding pose, only to hear it again.

This time, he knew he wasn’t imagining things; only nutters hallucinate stuff like that. “Cam, buddy, you there?� He looked around him frantically, yet he could find no sign of Cameron other than the tell-tale beckoning.

“Daddy, I need help. I think my body runned away.�

An inappropriate guffaw escaped Zach’s mouth before his mind began conjuring all the beastly things that phrase could have meant. “Where are you?� he said cautiously. “I can’t see you.�

He felt a subtle weight ease down into his lap, and instinctively, Zach put his arms around a very tactile, very invisible child. “What the hell?�

“We wanna play hide and seek,� Cameron babbled. “I hided and wanted to be iviz-bull real bad and then I was ivis-bull.�

Zach laughed until he couldn’t breathe. As he wiped tears from his eyes, this time from relief, he struggled to regain his breath. Finally, he was able to mete out, “Of all the . . .�

After a full minute of gasping hysterics, Zach was finally able to pull out his wand and cast a quick, “Finite incantatem,� and Cameron became visible once again. He scooped the boy into his arms and staggered to his feet and back towards the play area of the park. The first person he met along the way was a police officer. “Found him. He was playing hide and seek and hid a little too far into the trees. Gave us both a scare, I reckon.�

The older man grinned. “Great to hear it, lad. What with all the lunatics out there these days, better safe than sorry. I’ll go on ahead and stop the search, and you and your missus can take the boy home.�

Zach was about to correct the officer’s misnomer but stopped himself. “Thank you,� he said instead. “I think that’s enough adventure for one day.�

As the police officer whisked off, Zach put Cameron down and held his hand as tightly as he could without breaking something. They proceeded back towards the park as fast as Cameron could trot on his short, chubby legs. It seemed that they were both exhausted.

However, once they broke through the treeline and Cameron locked his eyes on Eloise, he took off like a hex towards his nanny. Zach, winded but relieved, jogged after him. A swarm of parents and onlookers set upon them, all giving some variation of congratulations — though for what, Zach didn’t know. For not being the worst parent on the planet, he supposed.

As he watched Eloise cling to Cameron and hold him tight, wet-cheeked with a grin on her face, he thanked whatever divine powers that gave a rat’s arse about humanity that Eloise had barged into his flat not even a week before. He was thankful she had reconsidered slamming the door in his face. He was thankful she knew one end of a cleaning spell from the other. Hell, he was even thankful for bloody oatmeal.

Unduly amused by that last thought, Zach grinned and squatted down next to where Eloise knelt, covering her hand with his. “Since I probably ruined your day, how ‘bout I make up for it and take you both out to dinner?�

Eloise gave him a tight smile and replied, “I would like that.�

“Accidental magic, huh,� Eloise mused after the ridiculously cheery waiter at Tangerine, a popular restaurant in Diagon Alley, had just delivered their drinks. Taking a sip of her mug of Butterbeer, her lips twitched into an infectious smile. “Can’t believe neither of us thought of that.�

Zach chortled as he adjusted the straw in Cameron’s milk. “I don’t think him turning himself invisible was remotely on the list of horrible things running through my head.�

Exhaling heavily, Eloise pushed her drink away from her and looked squarely at the empty plate in front of her. “I’m sorry I was so cross. You couldn’t have known, and I jumped to some pretty scary conclusions. It isn’t my place, and I shouldn’t have done it.�

With a start, Zach blinked at Eloise in surprise. “You’re sorry? Why would you be sorry?� He scratched his chin in curiosity. “Just because I’m a rubbish parent doesn’t mean you should let me stay that way. I don’t want to go to Azkaban for child endangerment any more than the next bloke, so I need you to keep my head in the game.�

As soon as the words left his mouth, Zach knew he had phrased that incorrectly, and the subsequent darkening of Eloise’s countenance reaffirmed that notion.

“You — you only want me around to keep Child Protection off your case? Is that really all you need me for?â€Â�

Zach could see Eloise struggling to remain calm in the packed restaurant, so he knew that the next thing he said had to be the right thing or Mount Crazy was going to blow its lid. And he would’ve deserved it, too. “That’s not why.� Choosing his words carefully, he continued. “Cameron needs you because I have no bloody idea what I’m doing. I can barely take care of myself!�

Eloise seemed to accept this answer, but the frustration and stress of the earlier fiasco worked its way into his blood and ate away at his composure. Thrusting his fingers into his hair, he hissed, “I ate bloody oatmeal for you! I sodding hate oatmeal!�

“He does,� Cameron chimed soberly.

As she regarded him carefully for several seconds, Zach prepared himself for another scathing tirade about his lack of responsibility, maturity, and no doubt a host of other failings he was too stupid to realise or understand. He hated to admit that she would probably be right.

Or not.

A most unladylike snort came from Eloise as she rested her forehead on the table and cackled loudly, which didn’t go unnoticed by the surrounding tables. Acutely aware of several strange eyes staring at him, Zach turned and stuttered, “She’s, er, got a condition. It — it comes and goes.â€Â�

Soon, though, Zach couldn’t help but laugh along with her, as well as Cameron, who likely didn’t understand the adults’ amusement but enjoyed it nonetheless. It was nearly time for their entrees before their table slipped back into calmness.

Once their meals were delivered, Zach watched with what dangerously resembled a smirk as Eloise tucked into her pineapple chicken curry with gusto. The dish probably had more fat and calories than a lorry full of oatmeal, but he supposed that most of the best things in life were inherently bad for a person.

However, as he strayed a glance at Cameron digging his fingers through chicken and steamed carrots, Zach wondered if that were true at all.