Fury
ecstasy
grief
mingle in me like a storm

He’s dead
the one who killed so many
just for fun
he’s dead
gone
forever

I should be happy
ecstatically happy
but there’s more
so much more
it’s not that simple
it’s never
ever
simple

My brother
my friend
two lovers
all dead
I couldn’t do anything
I know that
yet I’m sure it’s my fault

I must hurt them
I must kill them
the ones that killed me
ripped my heart to shreds
their master is dead
but it’s not enough
it’ll never be enough

Guilt
suffocates me
threatens to smother me
into nothingness
forever
could I have done more
I should have done more

I must hurt them
I must kill them
the ones that killed me
ripped my heart to shreds
but I can’t

That’s what they do
they hate
they kill
they tear people apart
I can’t do the same
no matter how great my urge
to spill their blood
I can’t
I can’t be the same

I will mourn
I will grieve
I will cry
for the loss
always

Fury
ecstasy
grief
mingle in me like a storm
they always will

But something else lives inside me
coming to life
as it always does
blooming like a flower
opening its innocent petals
promising better times
when I need it most
hope