I was running through Hogsmeade. The snow was falling harder as I ran into Honeydukes. I looked wildly around for a hiding place, but the shop was completely empty. Heart pounding, I ran back out into the street and looked around wildly. Where can I go? I thought to myself. I looked back down the street and the person I was dreading to see appeared right behind me.

“ Hey Evans! Slow down!� he called to me as he twirled his wand threateningly in front of me. I looked around again, but before I knew it his wand had turned into a pillow and James himself had turned into Petunia. She laughed at me and then threw the pillow hard right at my face.

“Oi! Lily! Wake up! You are going to be late!" My eyes flew open and I looked around. I was in my bed, and I was still at home. James Potter hadn’t thrown the pillow, as it happens, it was only my mum. I watched her retreating figure disappear through my doorframe. I heaved a giant sigh. The new term hadn’t even started yet, and there I was, already worried about James Potter.

I hopped out of bed and rummaged around in my dresser for some Muggle clothes and then went to the bathroom to get ready for the day. Once inside the bathroom I promptly locked the door, as Petunia had an annoying habit of walking in on me and not caring about it. I showered, brushed my teeth and hair and put on the Muggle clothes. I was running late and I didn’t have time to dry my hair, so I ran all around the house packing up my Hogwarts trunk. I was very excited to be starting my fourth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry! I checked my clock and realized that I had fifteen minutes until we were to leave. I ran down the stairs and buttered up a bit of toast, munching and packing spare parchment, quills and books. At the last minute I remembered the funny quil that claimed to be 'magic'. Isn't everything in the magical community 'magic?' I snapped the buckled on the trunk closed and slumped on the floor next to it.

With the last few minutes I had to spare, I went downstairs to the kitchen to say goodbye to my dad. He was staying home because Petunia had flat out refused to come with us to King’s Cross Station. Honestly, I don’t know why she hates everything to do with magic. Oh, and everything to do with me.

“Goodbye dad! See you in the summer!� I said as I kissed his cheek.

“Bye Lily. I’ll miss you!� he said as he pulled me in for a hug. I looked at Petunia hopefully.

“Well, good luck at Pigwarts, I guess,� she said rather snottily. I sighed.

“It’s Hogwarts, Petunia. Hogwarts School of-,"

“Witchcraft and Wizardry, yes, yes. I know what I said,� she retorted angrily, with an air of superiority.

“Love you too!� I replied cheerfully. I’d dealt with Petunia too long to let her get to me. And with that, we left the house and drove to King’s Cross Station. Luckily, we don’t live too far from the train station.

When we arrived, we got a cart for my trunk, and walked to the wall separating platforms nine and ten. I casually leaned against the wall, and fell through to platform 9 3/4. I looked at mum’s face; this never failed to impress her. I looked around and saw my fellow classmates, friends, and unfortunately, James Potter. James Potter was the only drawback of going to Hogwarts. He seemed to be glowering at someone. I looked in the direction he was looking and saw, unsurprisingly, Severus Snape. Will they ever stop fighting? No, probably not, I answered myself. I turned to my mother, gave her a hug, said goodbye, and then went to join Severus on the far side of the platform.

“Hey Evans!" James Potter’s annoying voice called to me.

“Hello Potter,� I said without bothering to turn around and look at him. Severus saw me, and his face lit up. He waved me over to him.

“Sev! How are you?� I said excitedly as I gave him a hug.

“Oh, um, well, I guess I’m alright. How about you?�

“Oh, I’m just lovely,�

“Yea, I spent most of my summer locked up in my room. Stupid parents,� he said gloomily.

“Are they any better at all?� I ask quietly.

“Not unless you count them fighting more than ever an improvement,� he responded bitterly.

“Well, let’s go find a seat before they’re all taken!� I said cheerfully, trying to cheer him up. He threw Potter a contemptuous glare before following me onto the train. We found an empty compartment and put our trunks up in the rack. I opened our window, and looked for mum through the steam billowing out in front of me from the train.

“Goodbye mum! See you at Christmas! I love you!� I shouted along with most of the other kids with their heads stuck out of the windows. I put my head back inside and closed the window. Severus was looking slightly crestfallen. I always wished that he had someone to say goodbye to out the train window.

The train ride was a very quiet affair. Something was obviously on Severus’ mind, but he wouldn’t tell me what. Feeling awkward, I looked for a book to read in my trunk. After a few hours passed, the witch with the trolley made her way down to us. I bought a load of sweets, and offered half to Severus.

“Thanks Lily,� he said gratefully. This seemed to warm him up.

“So, anything exciting happen during the holiday?� he asked me.

“Not really. I visited my relatives. Oh, Petunia has a boyfriend! Vernon Dursley. He’s a complete idiot. Can’t even get my name right! Some days I was Daisy, others I was Rose. I don’t know how long it will take him to get my name through his abnormally thick head. I mean, how hard is it to remember the name Lily?� I huffed in exasperation.

“Sounds like a git,� Severus replied.

“Yes, he most certainly is. What did you do?� I asked him.

“Absolutely nothing. I had to escape during the day just out of pure boredom. That’s why I was at your house so often, � he answered sadly.

Indeed, Severus had come round my house quite a few times. I felt sorry that he never wanted to spend time with his parents, or in his own house. I couldn’t imagine not wanting to be in my own house.

“I had fun when you came over! It was cool showing you my room and just hanging around. It bothered Petunia to no end!� I said brightly, trying to lighten the mood. He smiled.

“You know, I tried to write a book all summer,� I said matter-of-factly, examining my nails absentmindedly. His expression became quizzical.

“Really? What’s it about?� he asked.

“Well, It was supposed to be funny, but I thought it was absolute rubbish so I-“ I broke off mid sentence. James Potter and his best mate Sirius Black were standing in the doorway. Oh great.

“Hey Evans, why don’t you come to our compartment. There is a lot less grease there,� he said as he looked disgustedly at Severus.

“Potter, are you feeling light headed?� I asked curiously. A puzzled look crossed his face.

“No. Why?�

“No, of course not. How silly of me. There is no possible way that a head a large as yours could ever feel light. Now go away,� I said scathingly.

James rolled his eyes and left without a fight. I got up and slammed the door behind them.

“Stupid gits,� I said.

"Anyway, I thought about trying to write it with my new 'magic' quill," I said.

"Magic?" he questioned.

"That's what it says. Maybe it can fly, I don't know," I replied with a chuckle. Severus looked out of the darkening window.

“We’re getting close. We should change into our robes now,� Severus said.

“Alright. Are you leaving, or am I?� I asked.

“I will. I’ll see you on the platform,� he said with a smile and a wave.

“See you soon!� I called after him. I threw my robes on and waited for the throng of students all pushing each other out of the train to pass, and then I got out. I looked out past Hagrid and the huge crowd of students and saw Hogwarts. I breathed in deeply, and thought that the year would be special.

After the feast was over, I headed up to my bed and fell asleep. The next morning was beautiful. The sun was just peeking over the horizon, and the birds were chirping musically. One thought had been nagging at me all night long. The book I was trying to write during the summer. Well, maybe I’ll keep writing it, and if I still think that it is stupid, I’ll just throw it in the rubbish bin, I thought to myself. So I pulled the book out and the so - called magic ink quill. I had to shake the quill a few times to get the ink flowing and then I began to write.

Professor Slughorn had inexplicably decided to show up for class in only his knickers. And they weren’t your ordinary pair of underpants. They were purple, with pink hearts and had glitter outlining the hearts. Every Gryffindor was laughing hysterically and the Slytherin students didn’t seem to know what to make of the situation. One Slytherin, however, stood up.

“Professor, let me prove my loyalty!� the student said, ripping off his own robes. He was wearing that one pair of knickers that you don’t want anyone to see. The ones that are ten years old, frayed and somehow, you always go to throw them out, but inexplicably you just end up putting them back in the underwear drawer. Everyone has a pair like that. And then, as though this strange display of ‘loyalty’ was the trigger, every male Slytherin got up and stripped down to their knickers. Every Gryffindor was laughing so loudly now, that Dumbledore came down to the Potions room.

“What in the wizarding world is going on?� Dumbledore demanded of us all.

“Sir! Everyone has gone mental! Everyone is stripping down to their underwear!� One Gryffindor student choked out over his laughing while tears streamed down his face.

“I haven’t seen anyone have this much fun in ages! I want in!� Dumbledore shrieked while taking off his robes too.

“Conga line!� Dumbledore shouted above the din. Soon every student was hanging on to someone as they paraded around the room in their underpants.

I shut the book. In my opinion, that was not exactly my best work. I decided to just throw it all into the rubbish bin beside my bed, and go to breakfast. I got dressed, and made my way down to the Great Hall. I ate a hurried breakfast, as I had used most of my time writing.

I barely made it through my classes. Transfiguration was difficult and Care of Magical Creatures was tiring. Lunch was good, though. It was soon time to be going to Potions, so I finished the rest of my lunch. I walked slowly down to the dungeons, and just about fell over when I opened the door. Professor Slughorn was in nothing but his purple and sparkly heart knickers. That is way too strange, I thought to myself. Every Gryffindor was laughing extremely hard and the Slytherin Students seemed confused as to what to do. Before I knew it, though, Jack Livingston stood up.

“Professor, let me prove my loyalty!� Jack shouted as he ripped off his robes, showing just exactly the pair of underwear I had described while writing my book. While I watched in horror, the rest of the male Slytherin students followed Jack’s example and ripped off their own robes. Everyone started to laugh really hard and then Dumbledore himself had come in to see what the ruckus was about.

“What in the wizarding world is going on?� Dumbledore demanded.

“Sir! Everyone has gone mental! Everyone is stripping down to their underwear!� Colin Everheart choked out between laughing, while the tears poured down his face. Okay, this is just getting freaky I thought, thoroughly suspicious.

“I haven’t seen anyone have this much fun in ages! I want in!� Dumbledore shouted as he stripped off his robes. Everyone cheered.

“Conga line!� Dumbledore shouted to the class at large. Everyone was parading around the room in thier underwear, shrieking and shouting with delight.

“Why are we doing this?� Colin shouted.

“I have no idea, but let’s not stop!� Professor Slughorn shouted. I let out a little gasp, and ran out of the room. That was a crazy and accurate coincidence, I thought. A possible explanation occurred to me, and I ran up to my room in the Gryffindor Tower. I flew to the rubbish bin, and pulled out my book. I read it over and determined that the exact thing I had written about had just come to fruition in the dungeons. I looked desperately for the package that my quill came from and found it. I out the title in my head. ‘Magic Ink Quill. Watch As what you write comes alive all around you! This amazing quill works for a full fourty-eight hours after activation. Simply shake twice!’

“Oh my!� I said aloud to myself. I thought about how on earth I had missed reading the package. But wait, I thought. Maybe this is actually not a bad thing. I can make stuff happen. Funny and horrible stuff. I can control all of Hogwarts for a full fourty-eight hours and no one will suspect that this is all of my doing! People have no idea what’s about to happen to them, I thought mischievously. I pulled my book out of the rubbish bin, and began to write:

The beautiful and radiant Lily Evans was having yet another perfect hair day. She looked absolutely gorgeous with her shining red hair and perfect complexion. Every hair was in place, and-

“Hey, watch it, readers want to see funny things happen to people, not hear how perfect you are,� a girl with long brown hair and bright green eyes suddenly appeared and warned me.

"Who the Hufflepuff are you?" I asked apprehensively.

"The author of this wonderful story," the girl said happily.

"I though I was the author?"

"Yes, of the story you're writing,"

"But I thought that the author was J.K Rowling?" I questioned, extremely confused.

"Well, yes, but I'm writing this particular story. It's called fanfiction," she said slowly, as if speaking to someone very dense.

"Isn't that just cheating, though? You didn't make it up," I shot at her.

"No! It is not cheating at all. Just make use of my warning!" the so-called author snapped at me.

“Ugh, fine. Back to the story,� I agreed, feeling that I won that argument.

'Lily Evans was looking beautiful that particular day (there, better?) On a very intuitive whim, Lily decided to sneak into the boys’ dormitory while all of the boys were conveniently either playing Quidditch, or watching the other boys play. Once inside, she found all of James Potter and Sirius Black’s robes and transfigured them into purple bikini tops and green skirts. And for good measure, she filled both of the boy’s shampoo bottles with a potion that changes the user into the first animal they think of after they use it. Snickering to herself, Lily left the room.'

She headed down to the Great Hall for breakfast, and just about lost it when she saw-

“Lily! You have to stop giving away what’s going to happen!� Snidgetgirl shrieked, realizing how much Lily was giving away.

“Um, why?�

“Because! It’s bad for the sake of the plot and my readership!�

“And why is that?� I enquired.

“Because,�

“Because why?�

“Would you like to read something twice? The poor people who decided to read this will just stop reading because, by you telling every single detail of what will happen, they become disinterested,� the author explained.

“Fair enough,�

“That’s what I thought,� and with that, our lovely author left the story again.

I jumped into bed the next night in a state of pure joy. The day had just been perfection!

(Earlier that day…)

The morning dawned bright and sunny. I got out of bed and took my robes to the bathroom to get ready for the day. I looked in the mirror, and, seeing as I conveniently wrote that I would look gorgeous, gorgeous I was! Every hair was in place, my face was one solid, flawless colour, and I looked simply radiant. I changed into my robes and sabotaged James Potter and Sirius Black’s personal belongings, as I had mentioned I would do earlier. I had decided against the whole animal potion, because I wanted the whole population of Hogwarts to recognize the two idiots in their girly clothes. However, I did in fact still do something cruel to their shampoo!

I ran down to the Common Room and plopped down into the best squashy armchair in front of the fire, waiting for the boys to come back from their conveniently timed early Quidditch practice, in which the other two Marauders went to watch. I didn’t have to wait too long.

“Great flying James! The way you caught that Snitch! Simply brilliant!� Peter Pettigrew gushed in his squeaky little voice. Ugh. Pathetic.

“Yes, well, I’m not the Gryffindor Seeker for nothing, Peter,� James replied. He, as if on cue, started walking to the boys’ dormitory.

“Sirius?�

“Yea mate?�

“Do you have the sudden urge to take a shower, using all hygienic items that you own?� James said.

“Why yes. Yes I do,�

“Alright, I’ll take our shower and you can break into another dormitory and shower there,� James decided. I could hardly keep it in. I was going to explode with anticipation. I drummed my fingertips on my book's cover, growing inpatient.

Boys apparently do not take such a long time to shower, because in about three minutes flat I heard the screaming.

“Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!�

I burst out laughing. I laughed so hard that people were looking at me like I had just sprouted a few more heads.

“WHAT IS THIS MONSTROCITY?�

I had to burry my face in the arm of the chair to muffle my shouts of pleasure.

“WHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHY?�

I actually fell off of the chair at this point, banging my fists on the ground while the tears streamed down my face as I laughed hysterically. No sooner had I picked myself off of the floor, than James had come running down the stairs, Sirius at his heels in the most ridiculous thing I had ever laid eyes on.

“What happened to all of my stuff?� James yelled in despair.

“Your stuff? What about my stuff?� Sirius retorted, equally as desperate. To say that they looked like a couple of things I may have pulled out of my sink pipes in an attempt to unclog them, would be an insult to all disgusting drain clogging muck everywhere. James was wearing a pink flowery cardigan with a vomit-green pair of pants. He had purple hair, which smelled Hagrid-esque (my brilliant substitute to an animal potion). Sirius had on a purple bra and a pair of Disney Princess pajamas pants on, complete with heels and a pink hair ribbon. Oh, that made my whole entire existence worth while!

“What are we going to do?� Sirius moaned.

“There is only one thing that can be done, my friend,� James said bracingly.

“You don’t mean-�

“Yes. We have to just go down. I mean, what else can we do? All of my clothes are gone, and there is no way to get rid of this,� James said while gesturing up and down his body.

“After you,� Sirius gestured dramatically. They walked down to the Great Hall for breakfast. To say that they were humiliated would have been the understatement of the year. Every time they walked past students, there would be ruthless insult hurling. I hadn’t had a better day in my whole life.

For the classes that day, I made all of the Professors be nice to me, and no one was to be annoying. It was pure heaven. After getting slightly annoyed with the tedium of the school day, I was especially excited for supper. Oh, was that going to be entertaining!

Before I knew it, I was in the Great Hall, waiting for the food to appear. You see, I made sure that the food was spiked with a liberal amount of potion. This potion makes you experience drunken behaviors, increasing my level of entertainment by about one hundred percent! The main course appeared, and I waited with bated breath. I looked all around me, encouraging people to eat more, until they couldn’t understand why they wanted more, but just kept on eating anyway. The juice was actually a truth potion, so I didn’t have to wait long for the fun to begin. It seemed that people wanted to proclaim their deepest secrets. Perfect!

“I have a huge purple, oozing rash on my-�

“I still sleep with my blankie-“

“I don’t actually like my friends! They’re smart, I’m dumb, I see it as a free way to get good marks-“

“I’m the one who killed your fish, Colin, not Darren!�

“I sing in the shower!�

“I haven’t had a shower in months!� Severus Snape announced. A silence fell across the room. Someone stood up.

“Everyone already knew that, stupid!�

All too soon the dessert came, which was also spiked with a potion that induces drunken behavior. The fun continued.

“Sirius, where’s my toaster?� James said.

“In your pants,�

“Why’s it in there?� James asked, puzzled.

“Because you said that you like toasty buns! Ha!�

“Ha! You’re funny Sirius!� "Did you ever doubt that, Prongs?" "Of course not, Padfoot. But your humor, it goes in rounds. See, sometimes you're hilarious, and other times, you're just not," James said truthfully. I looked over at a few Hufflepuff students that I didn’t know.

“Has anyone ever been to Canada?�

“The land of the moose? And Tim Horton’s?�

“Yep,�

“Can’t say that I have,�

I looked at a group of Slytherin students who I also didn’t know, all of whom seemed to be singing a strange song that I didn't know. There were some Ravenclaw students who werr trying to see how long it took for one Hufflepuff to snap, while they poked his arm constantly. "Would you leave my arm alone?" The Hufflepuff student shouted, turning on them. "But it's just so fun!" The Ravenclaw students shouted at him together. I looked back over to James and Sirius, who seemed to be trying to learn a complicated dance. I was laughing fit to burst, so I decided to go up to bed before I completely lost it. I ran up to bed, and laughed myself into the peaceful oblivion that is sleep.

I woke up the next morning refreshed and ready for another day of perfection. I went to the bathroom, fixed my hair, and dressed in my robes. I happily skipped out of the bathroom, and back to my room. I reached my bedside table, and opened the top drawer. My stomach dropped out and hit the floor. The quill was gone. So was the book. My palms started to sweat, and my heart was racing. Who knew about the book? I thought frantically. I thought back to anyone that might have had any inkling of what I was doing. There was Severus, but I doubted that he looked much past his own problems enough to care, to be honest. James Potter was trying to figure out who was making the weirdness happen. He could have done it, I thought. But how could he have gotten up here, though? Oh well, I guess I'll soon find out who did it, I thought grimly to myself.

I walked out of the Common Room very nervously. If someone had known that it had been I who had done all of this, I would be the first target, I thought. I watched everything and everyone I passed, over-analyzing just about everything. I was actually so busy watching everyone else, that I fell down the last flight of stairs.

“AAHH!� I screamed as I fell down, each step sending a new pain shooting up my limbs. When I finally fell in a heap at the bottom, completely disheveled, I looked up the stairs I had just fallen down. My books were laying everywhere, and my bag ripped up the side, causing my ink to all spill out. I gingerly got back to my feet, making sure that nothing was broken. Everything seemed to be in order, I was just in a lot of pain, though. Grumbling, I picked up my books, one by one.

“Evans, watch where you leave your things, people may just want to take them,� James Potter said slyly, gracing me with his arrogant presence.

“Potter, you make no sense. Why would someone want to take my things?�

“Oh, you never know. Sometimes someone has something that interests another someone,� James hinted.

“Potter, you don't know what you're talking abou-� comprehension dawned on me.

“YOU!� I roared.

“Yes, me. I found a curious-looking book and quill on the arm of a chair in front of the fire. It's not like you to forget anything that important, Evans. What, the stress of a perfect world wearing you down?� James mocked me.

“Hardly. More like the stress of not knowing who now is planning horrible things for you,� I shot back coldly.

“Well, you don't have to worry about that anymore,�

“What do you mean?� I asked skeptically.

“Well, now you know who has the quill. Strike that off your list,� he said.

“Very funny, Potter. Did you make me fall down the stairs, then?� I asked.

“Maybe,�

“Why?� I all but screamed in his face.

“Payback for the girly clothes and Hagrid smell!� He shouted back.

“That's beside the point! At least I didn't hurt you!�

“You did, though, Evans. In here,� he pointed to his heart.

“Grow up, Potter,�

“I will when you do!� James shot back.

“Oh please! We all know who the mature one here is!� I yelled.

“Watch your back, Evans!� he said as he walked quickly into the Great Hall. I sighed loudly. I was terrified. I had no idea what Potter was going to do to me, and didn't know what to do with myself. All right, relax, Lily. Just go about your business as usual. Yeah, just do that, I told myself. I walked into the Great Hall, and sat down alone, not risking anything. I hurriedly grabbed a piece of toast, and reached for the butter.

“AAHH!� I yelled as the butter knife was not buttering the toast, but my face. I looked down the table and saw James and Sirius laughing into their cereal. I quickly grabbed a napkin to wipe off the butter, when I was in for another shock.

“AAAAAHHHHH!� I yelled as the napkin covered me in purple goo. I disgustedly wiped the goo and butter off with a napkin that I checked about thirty times before using. I peeked down at James, and he was laughing into Sirius' shoulder. Let him laugh, I thought, glaring at him.

I walked carefully down to Potions, and tried to sit down. Tried. I yelled as the chair pulled out from under me. I got up and tried again. The chair pulled out from under me again. By the fifth try, I just gave up and sat on the floor. I looked across the rows, and saw James and Sirius laughing loudly.

“Why, Miss Evans, what are you doing on the floor?� Professor Slughorn asked, confused.

“Sitting,� I replied shortly with an evil glare at Potter and Black.

“All right then,� Professor Slughorn went on with his lesson.

Charms came, and let's just say that I spent the lesson right beside Potter himself. I was completely disgusted.

“Hey, Evans, do you want to go with me to Hogsmeade this weekend? The trip is coming up,� he asked hopefully.

“In your dreams, Potter,� I rolled my eyes.

“All right,� he said as he pulled out the quill and my book.

“AAHHH! No! Fine!� I shouted, terrified.

“That's what I thought,� he said smugly.

I was dying inside. He let me go for the rest of my classes, but when dinner came around, I wasn't so fortunate. He made me eat potatoes that changed my hair colour to green, and then made me sit right next to him.

“Beautiful night, isn't it, Lily,�

“Stunning,� I said bitterly. He casually slung his arm around my shoulder. I winced when he did, wishing to be anywhere but there.

“Why don't we head back to the Common Room now?� He suggested.

“What a wonderful idea,� I said through gritted teeth. We walked back to the Common Room, and he made me sit beside him on the couch in front of the fire.

“What a lovely day,� he said, looking out of the window.

“Yes, quite,�

“You know, Evans, I guess that there's a moral to the story, then,� he said knowingly.

“Yea, don't leave anything you cherish in the reach of children,� I said with gritted teeth, taking a jab at Potter.

“Actually, the moral to this story is that I always get what I want, no matter what.� He said seriously. I looked at the clock, and watched as it changed to be ten o'clock. Finally, the day was over. I breathed in deeply, jumped up and away from James, and then ran up to my room, cursing my stupidity. I should have done more on the days that I could control. He made me lose my last day, I thought sadly. No matter, though, I'll get him back good for this, I thought evilly.