1964

I stood in line with the others, feeling extremely nervous. Today I’d be sorted. Father always told us that we belonged to Slytherin, because we were Purebloods. He said that the other houses were unworthy and stained. I wanted to go to Slytherin too, because I wanted to please father. Somehow I always felt that father didn’t love me as much as he loved Bella. Bella was father’s favourite, because she made it into Slytherin and had upheld his morals. Even now, as I saw her in the crowd, she was frowning at me, as if daring me to go to anywhere except Slytherin. But I knew where I belonged. I belonged where my family wanted me to go. After all, family came first, didn’t it?

“Black, Andromeda.�

I jerked at the mention of my name. I tried my best to look proud and confident. As I made my way to the stool, I recalled mother’s words as she was brushing Cissy’s hair last night: “Tomorrow, Andromeda would be a Slytherin because that’s where we belong. Then it will be your turn, Narcissa.� Mother knew that I would be in Slytherin. I couldn’t disappoint her. I’d prove that I was worthy to be a Black too.

The last thing I saw before the hat covered my eyes was Bella’s glare.

“Ah,� said a tiny voice in my head. “It’s not every day that I get to see a white Black.�

I couldn’t comprehend what it meant, so I simply told the hat, “I want to go to Slytherin.�

“Slytherin?� The hat asked, and I could almost imagine it frowning. “But I think you’d do much better in another house. Your qualities -�

“No, please, I want to go to Slytherin,� I begged. “Father says I belong there. Mother will be furious if I don’t become a Slytherin.�

“Very well,� the hat said quietly, sounding rather disappointed. “If that is what you desire, better be SLYTHERIN!�

I sighed in relief as I walked towards the Slytherin table, noting that the other houses barely showed any enthusiasm. As I sat beside Bella, she looked at me smugly, and I finally thought she considered my good enough. I was a Slytherin, like my parents wanted. I had made them proud.


1966

“You took what?� Mother screeched. As I cowered in the corner of my room, I recalled that I’d never seen her so furious before. Her usually beautiful face was contorted in fury, making her look like an enraged Veela, and it wounded me to know that I had caused it.

“She took Muggle Studies as an elective subject, Mother,� Bella prompted gleefully, staring down at me as she leaned against the doorframe, twirling her wand. I felt like hitting her, wiping that maddening smirk off her face. How I hated my own sister for ratting me out like that.

“How dare you!� Mother shouted, hitting me with a hex. It stung painfully, and I bit my lip so I wouldn’t cry out loud. I heard Cissy gasp from somewhere near the door, and I looked up to see her cowering behind Bella, her platinum blonde hair covering her face. Mother had never hit me before, ever. I had made sure that I never did anything to anger them. “How dare you take that filthy subject? Haven’t we taught you enough about those disgusting creatures?�

“But Mother,� I croaked, my voice hoarse. “I only wanted to learn about them -� I could say no more as another hex hit me squarely on the chest, knocking the breath out of me.

“We have no place for Muggle-lovers in this house,� she hissed. Behind her, Bella spat on the floor. “Either you change that subject to something more noble and befitting for a child of the House of Black, or you shall not call this house your home anymore.�

“I’m sorry, mother!� I cried, letting the tears fall. I couldn’t leave my family, could I? “I’ll - I'll change the subject. I’ll owl the - the school and let them know.�

With a huff, mother strode out of the room, with Cissy trotting after her, and slammed the door shut. Bella came up to me, her eyes full of glee, and whispered softly, “That should teach you for not listening to me, darling sister.� Her whisper was like poison to my ears.

I said nothing as she laughed at my pitiful condition, mocking me, letting me know what an embarrassment I was.


1969

I bit my lip as I paced the kitchen, waiting for that owl. Butterflies fluttered about in my stomach. I was so worried; had I passed my OWLs? Had I failed each of them? Would I be able to get all Outstandings like Bella did? Would I set a proper example for Cissy? If I did fail a subject... would Mother hit me? What would Father say?

I nervously walked towards the kitchen door, hoping to go up to my room and wait there. But then the door opened and I walked straight into father.

“Andromeda, do watch where you’re going!� he chided, brushing his immaculate green robes with his hand. Father didn’t like it when we made unnecessary contact with him.

“I’m sorry, Father, I was distracted and I didn’t notice you.� Even though it had not been my fault I was expected to apologize.

Father frowned. “You get your OWLs today, do you not?�

I nodded glumly. “Yes, Father.� I hoped he wasn’t there when the ruddy owl came, though; I didn’t want him to start demeaning me before I got a chance to get over the shock of my abysmal results.

However, to my displeasure, I heard a loud screech as the damned owl landed on the windowsill. Father must have noticed my agitation, for he had moved to the windowsill and had taken the envelope from the owl before I had a chance to blink.

He sent the owl away with a wave of his arm; the owl hooted in anger before flying off. Gulping, I shuffled over to the table, where father sat, scanning through the letter, his expression unreadable. Father was always good at hiding his emotions.

When he was done, he looked up at me. “It’s not as good as Bella’s, but it was worth it.� He patted my shoulder in what I considered was a proud way before striding off. At least, his usually cold grey eyes looked a bit softer and his lips had been less thin. I looked at the door through which he disappeared in amazement, wondering what I had done to deserve that praise.

I scuttled to the piece of parchment that lay facing upwards and picked it up with trembling hands.

ORDINARY WIZARDING LEVEL RESULTS

I skipped the part about the passing and failing grades before shakily reading my own.

ANDROMEDA URSULA BLACK HAS ACHIEVED:

Ancient Runes: O
Arithmancy: A
Astronomy: O
Charms: O
Defence Against the Dark Arts: O
Herbology: O
History of Magic: E
Potions: O
Transfiguration: O

I reread the letter thrice as I felt my breathing rate return to normal. I had passed. I got an O in nearly every subject! With a pang I stared at the small “A�, wondering that if only I had been allowed to take Muggle Studies instead of the subject I had feared... I had never been that good with numbers. I smiled as I realized that I had still passed every single subject... and I had made Father proud of me.


1971

I sat alone on top of the Astronomy Tower, leaning against the stone railing, my legs hugged against my chest. Tears silently fell onto my lap as I recalled the events of that day.

“Cissy, he’s not a good person!� I said earnestly, jogging beside her along the deserted corridor, begging her to see sense. “He dabbles in the Dark Arts. He won’t love you.�

“Lucius and I are perfectly happy, thank you,� she snapped, her face livid. “You don’t have to tell me what to do.�

“I am your older sister, Cissy, I have as much right as anyone to -�

“Sister?� she said, suddenly stopping in her tracks and spinning around to face me. “Since when have you started to believe that we are a family? I thought you didn’t like the values our family gave us!�

“No, Cissy, that’s not -�

“You were never a part of us,� she hissed venomously. “Don’t interfere in my life!� She whirled on the spot, whipping her blonde hair into my face, and walked away, leaving me stunned and rooted to the spot.

Cissy’s last words rang in my ears. “You were never a part of us.� First Bella, Mother, and now Cissy. Everyone seemed to think I had failed my family, I thought, dabbing at my eyes with the back of my hand.

“Hey there,� said a voice. I looked up to see a tall, light-haired boy, looking at me with a kind expression on his face.

“What do you want?� I asked bluntly.

“You seem to be pretty upset there,� he said lightly, apparently not offended at my tone. “Need any help?�

I sniffed. How dare he think I can’t manage myself? I was a Slytherin! “No,� I grumbled.

He shrugged and sat down beside me. “I’m Ted Tonks.� I vaguely remembered his name. He was a Hufflepuff and a Muggleborn. I couldn’t be seen with him; what would my parents say? They already disliked me enough, and if they knew that I had been fraternising with a Muggleborn - what if Cissy saw me? She’d run to Bella and Bella would tell Father and then...

“So tell me, what’s wrong with you?�

“I’m not telling you,� I mumbled, turning my face away.

“You’re upset, though,� he continued, impervious to my dismissal. “You might want to share your feelings with someone. I’ve heard it lessens the pain.�

I opened my mouth to tell him to sod off, but instead I found myself blabbing in front of him. I told him all about my family, how I was disappointing them, how they thought I didn’t belong to them. I told him how Bella and Cissy started to hate me, how Mother didn’t think I was as pretty and precious as her other daughters, how Father had begun to think I wasn’t worthy of our name. I confessed how I wasn’t allowed to mingle with half the school because of their blood. I told him how Bella was so much smarter than me and how Cissy was so much prettier and that I was the odd one out. Father loved Bella and Mother loved Cissy, and there was no one who loved me because I didn’t like their propaganda.

Ted listened to me quietly, never stopping me once, as if he were really interested. Why would he be interested in what a Slytherin girl was telling him? When I was done rambling, his brows were knitted into a frown, and he quietly asked, “Do you believe in the Pureblood supremacy theory?�

Did I? The Black in me wanted to say yes. My family had told me that we were superior; they had taught me to avoid Muggles like the plague. They taught me their morals and forced me to follow them. But... but Andromeda wanted to say no. I had shared the same building with Muggleborns, and they never seemed bad. They were as human as we were. I didn’t agree with what Mother and Father said. I didn’t want to be brainwashed like Bella and Cissy.

Hesitantly, I shook my head.

Ted smiled. “Well, there you have it, then. You don’t have to do what they say. Follow your heart.� And with that, he stood up, gave me a smile, and disappeared through the door, leaving me to my thoughts.


1973

“Well, it’s common knowledge that those filthy Muggles have nothing other than dung in their heads. For one thing…�

I sighed quietly. I should have known that somehow or the other, the conversation at the dinner table would lead to Muggle-hating. I should have left immediately after finishing the dessert, but Father had prevented me from leaving with that cold stare of his. He never used that stare on anyone but me - never on his darling Cissy, and especially never on the apple of his eye, Bella. I think he knew that I was slipping away, that I had started to realize that his morals were wrong.

Bella, I noticed was hungrily drinking every word Father said, looking up at him with an admiring look on her face. How she disgusted me. Bella unequivocally supported father’s notions - given her way, she’d snake her way into the Dark Lord’s ranks. Two years it had been since the Dark Lord announced himself, and Bella was eagerly waiting for the day she could join him. Even in school, she’d hex every single Muggleborn she’d set her eyes on, but she never got into trouble with the teachers. She was way too slick to do that; perfect for a Death Eater.

Cissy, on the other hand, had taken out her mirror and was picking at her blonde hair, looking a bit bored. Beside her, Mother was alternating between nodding loyally at whatever father was saying and giving tips to Cissy. Unlike Bella, Cissy wasn’t really that interested in what Father said. Oh sure, she would scrunch up her nose at the sight of Muggles and Muggleborns alike, no doubt. I swear her beautiful face would get wrinkled earlier than us because she did that so much. But Cissy wouldn’t waste her time on wounding half the Hogwarts population when she could be off romancing with that Malfoy boy.

Then father said something that nearly made me freeze. “That school has become a breeding ground for filth, Druella. I don’t think we should let our daughters stay there anymore.�

Mother frowned slightly. Please don’t let her agree, please… “But Cygnus,� she said. “You don’t possibly think that they will resort to such low levels as consorting with Mudbloods, do you?�

Father looked at me. “Maybe not all of them…�

Bella let out a cackle of laughter. “Father, Andy wouldn’t dare to go against our principles. She’s too much of a weakling to rebel, unlike our dear cousin Sirius.�

I’d had enough. Pushing my chair backwards, I stood up and stomped up to my room, ignoring my father’s yell and my mother’s sigh of discontent.

The moment I was there, I sunk into my bed and stuffed my face into my pillows. What were they thinking? How could they still think that the Dark Lord was right? People were dying left and right. In the past two years there had been around a hundred disappearances and murders, most of them Muggles. How could my parents be so daft? Their Pureblood supremacy wasn’t worth this, was it?

Cousin Sirius had realized this long ago. He had made the right choice by going into Gryffindor. It had been a shock to us all, but I knew he was right. At this point, I wish I had taken the Sorting Hat’s advice into consideration. But I think you’d do much better in another house. Oh, how I wished that I had agreed back then!

And Ted... How could I leave him? I adored him. I was so much closer to him that I had ever been with anyone. He was the only person I could ever open up to. I couldn’t leave him because he was a Muggleborn, could I? But what would my family say if I ever told them about Ted? They would never accept him.

I closed my eyes and I remembered the first time we had been together in that unused classroom. He was sitting on the table and I on his lap, my arms wrapped around his neck, his arms wrapped tightly around my waist. It was hardly the most romantic setting, but it was so blissful. For a moment, I had let myself sink into that feeling, forgetting my family and my values. The only thing there was Ted, that heavenly kiss and then our intertwined bodies...

I loved him. Merlin, I loved that boy so much. How I wished I could be with him! He was the one who had given me the strength to stand up against my family, to leave those wretched morals behind. He taught me what it was to be just Andromeda, not Andromeda Black... and to think that I couldn’t be with him...

But I was going to change that. I was going to be with Ted. I loved him. I loved him more that I could ever love this family. And that’s why today I would leave behind whatever my parents had taught me.

I hurriedly packed a few clothes into my trunk and took with me whatever prized possessions I had. Then, squaring my shoulders, I walked out of the room and headed down the stairs, ready to finally escape this prison.