Unforgivable Ron

Chapter 1

Ron Weasley stood motionless with one arm out in front of him, his wand still pointed at where he’d cast his last spell. With his mouth open and his eyes wide, the only thought he was capable of at that moment was, ‘I used an unforgivable curse.� Over and over this refrain coursed through his head. Not only had he used an unforgivable curse but also it was the worst of the unforgivables. His brain remained on that thought, refusing to acknowledge any more than that.

It was a whimper from across the clearing that brought Ron back to his immediate surrounding and senses. Looking past the two bodies lying between them, Ron lowered his arm and again saw his sister.

Ginny was kneeling in the dewy evening grass while Neville Longbottom lat sprawled out next to her. She was cradling his head in her lap and caressing his cheek.

Forcing his legs to move, Ron took a few stumbling steps—the lingering effects of a strong impediment curse. When he’d regained his balance he broke into a run. Passing the bodies of the two Death Eaters who’d killed Neville and tried to kill Ginny, Ron refused to look down. He wasn’t ready for that just now. He needed to get to his sister.

“Ginny!� he cried when he reached her. “Ginny?� Ron reached out to touch her arm and she flinched. Still caressing Neville’s cheek she was whispering, “Neville. Wake up, Neville.�

Ron looked down at Neville and was silent. He’d known him for almost seven years; shared a dormitory with him at Hogwarts. Out of all the blokes Ginny could have finally gotten serious about Ron had thought Neville was the second best. Up until this past year Ron had still hoped Ginny and Harry, Ron’s best friend, would get together. After all, Ginny’d had a huge crush on Harry for well over three years. When she’d started dating Neville Ron hadn’t been too sure of the two of them together. But when their relationship had deepened into something truly special Ron had ceased objecting.

Now, Neville was dead; another casualty of the mind numbing war between good and evil they’d been living through the past few years.

There was a sound resembling an explosion somewhere off in the distance that was accompanied by a flash of gold light. The ground trembled slightly and dimly in the recesses of his mind, Ron thought of Harry. Tonight they were all in the midst of battles that would kill some and scar others but no one’s battle was more important to them all than the one Harry was embroiled in at the moment. The outcome of Harry’s battle would dictate the world those who survived would live in, one full of all that was good or one that would forever be filled with darkness.

The ground shook again and Ron pushed everything save his and Ginny’s immediate safety to the back of his mind.

“Ginny, come on, we have to get to safety.� Ron pulled on his sister’s arm and thought, ‘wherever that might be.’ This thought was briefly followed by the hope that Hermione, Ron’s other best friend and girlfriend, was somewhere safe.

As Ron tried to pull Ginny up from the ground and away from Neville his sister let loose with a cry. “NO!� She pulled away from Ron.

“Ginny, we’ve got to get away from here! There might be more Death Eaters around.�

She screamed again, “NO! I won’t leave him!�

When Ron tried one more time to pull Ginny away she simply started to shriek. Startled, Ron let go and she quieted as she resumed her vigil at the side of Neville’s quickly cooling body.

Deciding it would be better to remain here quietly than to have Ginny’s screams attract unwanted attention, Ron took up the task of guarding his sister and looking out for Death Eaters. It was through his fierce desire to protect Ginny from any and all harm that had enabled Ron to not only use that unforgivable curse once but it would also allow him to use it a second time if need be.

With the ground still trembling and the sky lighting up as though all of Fred and George’s Weasley’s Wildfire Whiz-Bangs were going off at once indicating the big battle was still going on, Ron settled in for a long night. All his senses were on alert for danger.

The only thing Ron refused to look directly at were the still bodies on the ground twenty feet away. Now was not the time to lose concentration. The time for remorse and reprimands would come later.

Chapter 2

Ron didn’t know when he’d last passed a night so long. Jittery and on alert for danger he’d jumped at every sound. In the distance the flashes of light and explosive noise gave witness to the battle of good and evil that was playing out. Beneath Ron the ground shivered and trembled, wreaking havoc with his already shot nerves. Every now and then he’d wonder how Harry was doing.

The sky was lightening almost imperceptibly when there was a sudden, deafening, silence. Ron jumped to his feet, on the lookout for danger. On the ground beside him Ginny didn’t move. In the back of his mind Ron heard her continued whispers imploring her boyfriend to wake up.

The longer the silence continued the more anxious Ron became. What was happening? Was it over? Had Harry beaten Voldemort and killed him or had Harry himself been killed? In which way had the prophecy been fulfilled?

The minutes stretched until sun was over the horizon. Still, Ron remained where he was. When the light finally crossed over the clearing, Ron felt his gaze drawn to the two bodies it was illuminating. Both, like Neville, had been dead for hours, their faces frozen with the expressions they’d been wearing at the moment of their death. Surprise on the face of Bellatrix Lestrange; eagerness on the face of her companion.

It was midmorning when Ron finally saw movement. His wand at the ready, he whirled to face whoever it might be.

“Ron?� There was a moment of tension before Ron recognized the voice of his brother Charlie.

Ron opened his mouth to reply but only a strangled croaking sound emerged as he tried to say, “over here.� He waved at the same time and Charlie waved back before starting toward them.

Closing his eyes, Ron allowed himself a brief moment of relief. He opened them again when he heard Charlie’s cry of surprise.

“Merlin’s Beard!� Ron looked at Charlie who’d taken a glance at the bodies of the Death Eaters and stopped. Charlie looked at Ron. “What happened here?�

Ron’s face was white with fatigue and not a smattering of guilt. Things always became more blindingly obvious in the light of day. Shaking his head Ron said, “not now, Charlie. Ginny needs help.� His words galvanized Charlie back into action. With one last, long look at the Death Eaters Charlie made his way to Ron and Ginny.

“Is it over, Charlie?� When his brother nodded Ron continued. “And who won?� He was really asking if Harry was still alive.

Charlie understood. “There’s a lot of cleaning up to do,� said Charlie referring, in his way, to the attending of funerals and seeing to the injured. “But good prevailed. And,� he added, “survived.�

Ron sighed. Harry was okay. Well, at least alive, anyway. He hoped the same held true for Hermione or he might well be reduced to the state his sister was in.

Ginny. Ron turned to Charlie. “We have to get her out of here,� he said indicating their sister. “But every time I try to pull her away from Neville she starts screaming. I didn’t know what was going on or who might hear her so I let her be and stayed here.�

Charlie nodded his understanding before giving Ron a sharp look. “You stayed here all night? Did you know—?“ he broke off and looked back toward the Death Eaters’ bodies.

Wearily Ron replied, “Yeah, I knew.� He wasn’t yet ready to admit to anyone let alone his brother that he’d been the one to do it.

“Well,� Charlie started, clearly at a loss for words. Then, “let’s help Ginny.�

By now Ginny’s gaze had become somewhat unfocused. She had stopped whispering though her hand was still caressing Neville’s face. Charlie squatted down next to her and said quietly, “Ginny?� When there was no response he continued. “Ginny, we need to leave Neville for a little while. Can you come with me and Ron?� There was still no response and Charlie looked at Ron who shrugged.

Together the brothers each gently took one of Ginny’s elbows and carefully eased her up from the ground. Ginny did not protest and Ron reached out to lower Neville’s head gently to the ground. Once standing Ginny simply walked where Ron and Charlie guided her. She made no effort on her own behalf and was rather like someone under the influence of the Imperious curse. She simply started into space. Ron and Charlie exchanged worried looks. Ginny this quiet and yielding wasn’t really Ginny.

Chapter 3

It was past midday by the time Ron and Charlie got Ginny to St. Mungo’s. The usually snide and condescending reception witch took one look at Ginny and said, “Fourth floor,� and waved them toward the stairs.

Ron had never seen St. Mungo’s in such a chaotic state. Healers, trainee healers, and other hospital personnel ran past without stopping. Each wore a grim expression. The reception witch was trying to sort out who belonged where as well as keep anxious witches and wizards calm as they awaited news of their loved ones. Not having the nerve to inform the harried witch that his sister’s condition hadn’t been the result of a spell, Ron let Charlie lead the way to the fourth floor.

The chaos there was just as bad. It took a good ten minutes for Ron and Charlie to flag down a trainee healer who only paused a brief moment to glance at Ginny. He had taken two steps away from them when he did a double-take and returned. First he looked directly at Ginny and then he waved his hand right in front of her face. If Ron had been feeling anything resembling normal he would have objected to the rudeness of the action. Instead he, like Charlie and the healer, noticed that Ginny hadn’t even blinked. Gently the healer took Ginny’s arm from Charlie, looked at them and said, “I’ll take her from here,� and led her away.

Ron and Charlie looked at each other. “What do we do now?� Ron asked.

“I guess we wait,� replied Charlie.

They tried to find somewhere to sit while they waited for news on Ginny’s condition. Ron didn’t think he’d ever been so tired. He was grateful his brother was there with him. His brother. One of his brothers. What about Bill? The twins? For that matter their father. And just where the bloody hell was Hermione? All these questions quickly brought Ron out of his state of fatigue. He turned to Charlie. “What about the others?� he vaguely asked.

Charlie stopped. “I don’t know. I was just coming out of Hogsmeade when I ran into Moody. He said the battle was over and You-Know-Who was vanquished and told me to start looking for survivors. I didn't question him and you and Ginny were the first I came across."
They stared at each other mutely for a moment while people continued to rush past them. “I wasn’t even looking at anyone when we came in,� said Ron.

“Neither was I,� responded Charlie.

“The reception witch!� they said together and raced for the stairs.

The stairs weren’t as crowded as they’d been when Charlie and Ron had guided Ginny up them earlier. Now they ran down them at a dangerous rate that earned them a few indignant shouts of “Hey you� and “This is a hospital!� Ignoring the protests they reached the ground floor and ran smack into Tonks.

Tonks, who was not known for her gracefulness under normal circumstances, tripped on someone’s foot—quite possibly her own—and took a header right into Charlie. Their skulls knocked together with an ominous clunking sound and both made yelping noises that slightly resembled, “Ouch!�

Ron quickly side-stepped out of the way and let the two of them sort themselves out. Charlie recovered first and got to his feet. Apologizing profusely, he helped Tonks up off the floor.

“Sorry,� they both muttered at the same time while they each rubbed their heads. There was a pause and then they looked at each other. Charlie was fighting back a smirk while Tonks was trying very hard not to grin. This was neither the time nor the place for any kind of amusement.

Getting serious Tonks said, “Actually, I’m glad I ran into you.� Charlie snorted as she continued. “Your dad’s looking for you.�

Immediately Charlie became sober and looked at Ron. They both turned back to Tonks and Charlie asked, “Where is he?�

Tonks led Charlie and Ron through the milling crowd and to a corner where their father, Arthur Weasley, was standing quietly with his twin sons, Fred and George. Remus Lupin stood with them. They all looked up at Tonks’ approach. Relief was evident on Mr. Weasley’s face as he spotted Charlie and Ron. “Oh, thank Merlin, boys!� Mr. Weasley exclaimed, grabbing them both into a hug.

He pulled away and looked at them. “You two don’t look any the worse for the wear,� he commented. Ron looked away. If only his father knew what he’d done. He vaguely heard Charlie tell their father about taking Ginny upstairs and Mr. Weasley’s worried look returned. Ron hoped Charlie had forgotten, or at least would keep to himself, what he’d seen earlier. For the moment anyway.

Looking around, Ron’s brow suddenly furrowed. “Where’s Bill?�

It was George who answered. With a tired nod of his head indicating the hospital’s interior he said, “Inside. He seems to have been struck with several things at once. Fleur is in there with him.�

George’s last comment grabbed Ron’s attention. Thinking of Bill’s wife reminded him of his own girlfriend. “Hermione,� he breathed and started looking around frantically. “Where’s Hermione?� He’d taken two steps when someone grabbed his arm.

“Don’t go getting all excited now, boy,� rasped a familiar voice. It was Mad-Eye Moody. How could Moody expect Ron not to get excited when he didn’t know where his Hermione was? Moody was mad if he thought for one moment that Ron would rest until he found her.

Just then Moody stepped aside to reveal Hermione Granger standing behind him.

Ron didn’t know he could possibly feel such relief as he took her in. She was disheveled and bruised and Ron could see she had a cut lip but she’d never looked more beautiful to him than she was right in that moment. Oblivious to those around him, Ron reached out and gathered Hermione into his arms and held her tight. “You’re okay,� he whispered so only she could hear. “You’re okay. Everything will be all right now.�

Chapter 4

St. Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Maladies had never before seen such an influx of patients. At first the chaos had seemed overwhelming as the wounded had flowed in followed quickly by those attempting to locate missing friends and family.

Now, fifteen hours after the first casualty had staggered in, a general order had quietly taken over. On the ground floor those waiting for news in the reception area had spilled over into the hallways. Every now and again a healer would come looking for relatives of a patient in order to give them an update. All too often it was bad news and the healer’s quiet words would be followed by the sound of someone breaking down and being led away.

The Weasley family, sitting on the floor of a hallway and awaiting news on Bill and Ginny, had seen this happen too many times in their nine-hour vigil. Luna Lovegood’s father had been in a daze after being notified by a healer that there was nothing more they could do for his daughter and would he like to sit with her during whatever hours remained to her? Hermione had buried her head in Ron’s shoulder when they watched Mrs. Finnigan receive the news that her son, Seamus, had died. Mrs. Finnigan was clearly devastated but it was another fellow classmate, Lavender Brown, who had erupted into hysterics. Ironically, Mrs. Finnigan comforted the devastated girl and helped lead her to a quiet place where both of them could mourn their loss.

Ron had thought the previous night would be the longest he would ever have to endure. However, after spending the entire day in St. Mungo’s waiting, which had been the longest day of his life, he found that he had been wrong. Waiting to find out if Bill and Ginny would be alright, with far too many disturbing and upsetting thoughts racing through his head, turned out to be much worse than the previous night.

He and Hermione were sitting on the floor and leaning against a wall between a closed door and the corner of an intersecting hallway. Ron had his arm around Hermione and was holding her tightly, afraid to let her go. There’d been little spoken between them. Ron sat thinking heavily about his brother and sister, his actions the night before, and whose death he would have to hear of next. Briefly, he wondered where Harry was and why he had hadn’t shown up. For all Ron knew Harry might have been there and Lupin, Moody and Tonks had talked him into returning to headquarters with them. While they had wanted to be with the Weasleys as they awaited any kind of news, there was still a lot to do in the aftermath of the battle and so they had left.

Then his thoughts turned to the last time he’d found himself awaiting news at St. Mungo’s.

Ron sighed and Hermione, her head resting on his chest, looked up at him. “What?� she asked.

Shaking his head Ron muttered, “Nothing.� But Hermione was persistent and when he felt her continued gaze on him he sighed again. “It feels like the day Mum died,� he said quietly.

“Oh, Ron. I’m so sorry,� Hermione replied, tears springing to her eyes. She didn’t know what else to say and snuggled closer to him, holding him as tightly as he was holding her.

It had only been a few months prior that the Weasleys had lost their family matriarch when a trip to Diagon Alley had turned deadly. The day had been like any other when Molly Weasley had left the Burrow to go shopping. Until some Death Eaters had apparated into the middle of the street, let fly at least a dozen Avada Kedavras and disapparated before anyone had realized what they’d done. Mrs. Weasley had been one of those unfortunate to be caught in the crossfire of all that deadly green light.

Ron and Ginny had been in classes at the time and Professor McGonagall had quickly pulled them out. Tonks and Lupin had been waiting for them in Dumbledore’s office where the four of them took an authorized portkey that delivered them right to the reception room of St. Mungo’s. There they’d met Bill, Fred and George. The twins had been beside themselves as it had happened right outside their premises though only George had been unfortunate enough to see their mother struck.

An hour passed before Arthur Weasley stepped into the reception room. His eyes were downcast and his face red and blotchy. Ron had never known such pain as he had that day when saw his father’s face.
Now he was waiting again only this time they’d been waiting for a much longer time. He leaned his head back against the wall and shut his eyes tight.

Some time later he heard footsteps stop by where he was seated. A quiet voice asked, “Weasley?� Ron opened his eyes and looked up at the healer standing in front of him. He didn’t bother getting up as his brothers and father rushed over. He could hear all too well from where he was sitting.

The healer coughed a bit and then cleared his throat. Not a good sign, thought Ron. Then the healer turned toward Arthur. The Weasleys and Hermione held their collective breath. Which one would it be, Bill or Ginny? “Mr. Weasley, we regret to inform you that your son, Percy, is dead.�

Ron’s eyes widened. They’d found Percy. His family gasped and George said, “Percy?� Charlie looked sharply at Ron. Clearly he’d forgotten about seeing Percy earlier and it appeared that no one else in the family had spared a thought for the brother who’d left.

“Yes.� The healer took this as a sign to continue. “I’m sorry, but I’m afraid he was a victim of the killing curse. There was nothing we could do.�

There was a pause as they took this in and then Mr. Weasley gathered some words and said, “Thank you and, uhm, well, I was wondering if there’d been any news about my other son, Bill? Or my daughter, Ginny?�

The healer hesitated. “I’m afraid I really don’t know. I’m only on morgue detail just now. I’m sure it won’t be much longer.� He turned to leave as Arthur thanked him.

Ron looked at his dad who wore an expression of surprise. Charlie’s face was thoughtful and he looked again at Ron but said nothing. Ron distantly heard the twins talking but wasn’t paying attention until he heard one of the twins say, “…what side he was on?�

The other twin replied, “And I wonder who killed him?�

At the last comment Ron again closed his eyes as all color drained out of his face. He felt his brothers and father move away to resume their previous seats on the floor as they continued to speculate about Percy and waited for other, hopefully better, news.

Hermione nudged Ron. She had sat up next to him when the healer came and when he opened his eyes to look at her Ron noticed her expression of concern. “What is it, Ron?� she whispered.

Ron opened his mouth a couple of times but nothing came out. Finally he managed to croak a weak, “I can’t.� He was having trouble holding back tears.

“Ron.�

He simply shook his head.

Hermione, however, was not to be put off. “Is it about Percy?� She was still whispering.
Ron didn’t respond right away. He realized he had started to cry as a couple of tears spilled from his eyes. He angrily swiped at them and nodded at the same time. He felt Hermione waiting next to him and took a gulp of air. Unable to look her Ron whispered, “I killed him.�

There was a horrorstruck pause before Hermione could get out, “What?�

“I killed Percy.�

“How?� Now Hermione’s face was as white as Ron’s.

“What do you mean, how?� demanded Ron angrily. Didn’t she understand? Of all people he would have expected her to realize what this meant. “You heard the healer. With the killing curse.�

“Yes, I heard him, but Ron—“ Hermione broke off. She seemed to have a difficult time grasping what Ron was saying. Ron watched her try to work it out. Finally she asked, “What happened, Ron?�

Taking a deep breath Ron shakily replied, “He killed Neville. And he enjoyed it. Then he was going to kill Ginny so…so I…I killed him first.� And with that Ron started sobbing and Hermione took him in her arms. Ron was oblivious when his family came over and stood behind him, looking questioningly at Hermione. Even stressed out it wasn’t like Ron to cry at all let alone this uncontrollably. Only Charlie suspected it had something to do with the bodies he had seen but he kept his peace. He didn’t have an explanation for what had happened to Percy. Only Ron did.

When Ron began to calm down Hermione pulled away and said, “Tell us, Ron. Tell us what happened.�

And he did.

When Ron finished relating the events of the night before he turned to his father, “I’m so sorry, Dad. It was the only way to stop him.�

Arthur Weasley patted Ron on the shoulder. “I understand, son. You did what had to be done. Don’t think on it anymore.�

Scrambling to his feet and looking his father full in the face, Ron demanded, “What do you mean, ‘don’t think on it?’ I killed my brother!� Ron was now shouting and the others still maintaining vigils in the hallway turned towards the Weasleys to see what was happening.

Arthur didn’t respond. It seemed too much to take in on top of everything else. It was Charlie who finally spoke.

“Ron,� he said and Ron turned toward him. “Percy had become a Death Eater.� He didn’t remind Ron that he’d seen Percy dressed as such and in the company of one of the most notorious Death Eaters, Bellatrix Lestrange, when he’d found Ron and Ginny. Charlie continued, “and this was war. A Death Eater was going to kill our sister. You did the only thing you could.�

“We understand,� Fred added as George nodded.

Ron looked at them. On the one hand he was aghast at his family’s seemingly easy acceptance of the fact that not only was Percy dead but that Ron had been the one to kill him. On the other he was filled with wonder at their lack of condemnation of him. He felt Hermione’s hand on his back as she tried to reassure him and he looked back at his dad.

Arthur swallowed and looked at his youngest son with a mixture of pride and sorrow. He couldn’t say he didn’t regret the loss of Percy but he knew Ron would never have acted rashly toward anyone when something as serious as his life was on the line. He opened his mouth to say this when another voice said, “Weasley?�

They all turned toward a small, dark haired woman who was standing nearby with a clipboard. She smiled nervously as they looked at her expectantly. “I have news for you regarding Bill and Ginny.�

Six people tensed as they awaited the worst. “First, Bill,� she said. “He was pretty badly injured but will recover.� There was some backslapping and a few “Thank Merlins� as she continued. “He will, however, have some pretty serious scarring. We’ve done all we can and some of it has gone but not all of it. And he’ll always walk with a limp but he’s already improving. His wife is with him now and you can all see him tomorrow.�

Fred and George clapped each other on the back again as Charlie beamed and Hermione smiled. Even Mr. Weasley had a small smile on his face. Ron, however, was still grim. “What about Ginny?� he asked abruptly.

The healer’s smile faded. “Well, the news there isn’t as good, I’m afraid.� The Weasleys immediately sobered. “She’s remained in a state of what we can only refer to as shock and has withdrawn so far inside of herself that we can’t seem to reach her.�

“How long will she remain this way?� Mr. Weasley asked.

“That’s unknown. It could be a day, a month or even longer.�

“Longer?� more than one voice queried.

The healer sighed. “I’m afraid there’s a possibility she may never come back.�

No one spoke and the healer, who Ron finally noticed wore a name badge that identified her as Antigone Welsh-Moore, urged the Weasleys to go home and get some rest. They could visit the next day.

After staring at each other for a few moments, Mr. Weasley said, “she’s right. We need some rest.�

Fred and George apparated back to their premises after they all agreed to meet at St. Mungo’s the next afternoon. Mr. Weasley and Charlie looked at Ron and Hermione who told them they’d be along in a minute.

When they were alone Hermione took Ron’s hand. He was looking down at the floor. He didn’t know what to do. He kept thinking about how Bill would be mostly okay and that Fleur was with him but then he’d think how Ginny was not okay and might never be. He briefly wondered what, specifically, had pushed her over the edge and decided it must have been seeing Percy kill Neville though, in the back of his mind he couldn’t help but wonder if it had been watching Ron kill their brother.

“Ron?� He looked up at Hermione and found her looking at him questioningly.

“This won’t go away, Hermione,� he said softly. “Bill will be okay but Ginny might not be and none of it changes what I did.�

“I know.�

“I mean,� he continued as if he hadn’t heard her, “I’m always going to have killed my own brother. Just because he was a prat to all of us, even that he became a Death Eater, it doesn’t change the fact that he was still my brother and I still killed him.�

“I know, Ron.�

“And there’s nothing anyone can say to change that.� He was starting to cry again. “How can I live with having killed my brother, Hermione?�

Hermione stood on her tiptoes to kiss the tears on Ron’s cheeks. He sniffed. She looked at him and said, “I don’t know how, Ron. But we’ll find a way.�

Ron reached out and pulled her towards him and he knew she had just given him the answer.