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"You know I'm everything you hate about your family, right?" Arlienne said as she snuggled closer to her warm companion. It was a late fall night, and a chill breeze wafted through the trees by the black lake where they had chanced a rare public moment together. But it was late, it was dark, and it was likely too cold for anyone else to be out on the grounds, let alone sitting on a blanket under the large beech tree. Charms kept them warm, though she much preferred his arms.

"I know," he murmured, his hand trailing up and down her back. "But you're also smart, funny, and beautiful."

"But only in secret," she remarked wryly. "And usually at night." The stars were shining brightly overhead, illuminating the blanket where they sat together on the lawn, James Potter's invisibility cloak tossed carelessly on the ground beside them.

"It's just that I'm certain to get my bollocks hexed off by your brothers if they find out about us," Sirius replied, leaning down to kiss her. "Or worse, your entire house. And that's not to mention what might happen to you if any of them found out."

She sighed. "I know, I wasn't being difficult. I wish my family wasn't like that. I wish my entire house wasn't like that."

"Then why did you go and get Sorted into Slytherin?" he asked teasingly.

"Why did you go and get Sorted into Gryffindor?" she shot back. "You were supposed to go to Slytherin like a dutiful, pureblood son."

"Which I clearly am not." He grinned. "And that's why you like me."

"No, you're just good for a nice snog," she replied, and for a long moment neither one of them talked as he proved her right before they settled into a companionable silence and watched the lake reflect the starlight into the night.

Arlienne let her mind wander to the first time they had noticed one another: it was in the library as she had struggled with a large, heavy Potions book on the top shelf. Sirius had been looking for a text on Everlasting Elixirs and had made a clever but crude comment about using his wand to help her, and she had told him off with an equally sarcastic retort about lazy cads so full of themselves they didn't realize when they weren't funny.

The next night he had run into her in the stacks again, this time in the Charms section, and quite a bit more verbal sparring had ensued.

The third night he hadn't found her in the library, but stopped her in the corridor after dinner. By then she had been interested enough to talk civilly with him, and he had been interested enough to tone down his usual coarse--but clever--arrogance. That had also been the first time they had kissed--a chaste kiss from Sirius Black on the cheek, yet it quickly blossomed into more within the week. Had it only been two months? It seemed so long ago; sneaking around now had become so normal she hardly remembered what it was like not keeping a secret from her friends and family.

"I'm serious," she finally said, continuing her line of thought, and he wiggled his eyebrows at her. She tapped him playfully on the arm. "Stop it. I know you ran away from your family, but do you ever miss them? They might welcome you back now, with me on your arm. My family name commands respect. Have you ever thought about it?"

"About what?" he asked, pulling her down next to him so they could gaze up at the stars as they talked.

"About going back. Renouncing Gryffindor, disowning your friends, and taking your place on the tapestry?"

She could feel him frown. "No. Who cares about my place in family history? I’m not going back. I don't care what they think one way or the other."

"What are you going to do after Hogwarts, then?" she asked curiously.

"Fight," he replied immediately.

"Fight who?" she asked, not understanding.

"Voldemort, of course."

She shuddered at the name. "Seems a bit hopeless, if you ask me," she offered softly. She knew as well as he did that the fight against the Dark Lord was not going well. The Ministry offered token resistance, but was increasingly hard pressed by the Dark Lord's forces. At times it seemed their headmaster was the only other wizard willing to stand up to the Dark Lord.

"I don't care," he snapped. "I'm not letting some madman like him take over. I won't live in a world where blind prejudice tells us what to think, what to believe--"

"--who to be with?" she murmured.

"Exactly!" he exclaimed. "Don't you want to live in a world where you can be with whoever you want to be with, without sneaking around? Where your house doesn't matter? Where your blood doesn't define you?"

She was silent for a moment "Yes, I would," she finally answered. "But I'm not brave like you. I can't fight my parents, my brothers. They're my family."

"We may end up on opposite sides one day then," he said softly. He looked down at her, his grey eyes blazing into her own. "Do you really want to fight me?"

"No," she whispered, feeling her eyes tear up. "I don't want to fight anyone. I'm not a Death Eater and I won't join them, but I'm can't turn my back on my family, either."

"So where does that leave us?" he finally asked.

"Exactly where it has left us all year: sneaking around, at least until someone finds out." She held back another sigh, because they'd talked this circle half a dozen times already. They both knew their relationship was dangerous and perhaps even wrong: no one would possibly support them together, least of all their families. And yet it felt so right, far more than a passing teenage crush. If she had to admit it, Arlienne was falling in love with Sirius Black.

"I do like sneaking around with you," he finally murmured, and she nodded in agreement, though she knew they had not resolved anything, not really, and it would just come up again, and be kissed away, yet again.

"I do too," she replied, "but it won't be like this forever."

He looked at her very earnestly. "I don't need forever. I just need now."

* * *

Several days later, Arlienne came down to the common room late, having slept in after another long night out with Sirius. She was surprised to find it mostly empty, until she remembered it was a Quidditch weekend. She was just about to walk to breakfast on her own when Regulus Black stood up from where he had obviously been waiting for her in a large chair. He was in uniform, obviously ready for the match, and he looked a bit impatient as well.

Arlienne sighed, sensing something was wrong. They were actually friends, being in the same year--she liked him, she really did--but she had not told him about Sirius and did not want to talk to him about it. She didn't want to hurt him, for one, and she had a feeling that telling him that she was secretly seeing his brother would definitely upset him; more than that, she wasn't entirely sure she could trust him. There was no love between Regulus and his brother anymore, not since Sirius had left home. And while Regulus might keep the secret for her, she couldn't be entirely sure he wouldn't let it slip--however unintentionally--to some of his friends. From them it would certainly get back to her brothers.

"'Morning, Reg," she said as he followed her toward the door leading back up to the rest of the castle. It was late and she was hungry, and she wanted to get in as much studying as she could before the Gryffindor/Slytherin match later that morning.

"Can I walk with you?" he asked quietly. He was so different than his brother: where Sirius was outgoing and gregarious, Regulus was quiet and reserved. Sirius wore his hair longer and smiled much more than Regulus, who kept his close-cropped and was far more serious than his less-aptly named sibling. They were both talk, dark, and confident, but there the similarities ended, and Arlienne always wondered at how two brothers could be so different. Then again, she was nothing like her family at times.

"Of course," Arlienne replied. They left the Slytherin common room and made their way through the dungeons toward the Great Hall. Regulus was silent at first, until to her surprise he finally touched her arm and pulled her aside.

"Look, I know why you've been avoiding me so much," he said without preamble. "I know about you and my brother."

Arlienne felt herself go very still, though her heart began to beat wildly in her chest. She carefully composed her face as best as she could. "I don't know what you're talking about," she murmured.

"I'm not the only one who saw you," he said, leaning close and glancing around the corridor. "Avery and Mulciber saw you out by the lake."

She couldn't help it: a hand flew to her mouth, because it was almost the worst possible thing that could happen. Dante Avery was a year above her, and his brother Pietro was good friends with her brother Rabastan. If Dante told Pietro, he'd tell Rabastan, who would certainly tell Rodolphus…

"Oh no," she whispered. "Tell me you're lying. Tell me you're just making it up, to get me to stop seeing him." She grabbed him by the shoulders and almost shook him. "Reg, tell me!"

"I'm sorry," he said, gently taking her hands from his arms and clasping them with a gentle pressure meant to calm her. "They know, and they will have certainly passed it on by now."

"What do I do?" she asked, not expecting an answer, but unexpectedly finding herself shaking. Once again he surprised her, wrapping his arms around her in comfort. It was so different than being with his brother: Sirius was strong and well built, whereas Regulus was lithe and agile, his embrace much lighter. She did not sink into it as she did with Sirius, but she did let herself be held, if only for a moment as she gathered her thoughts.

"I don't know," Regulus murmured, and she felt a reassuring hand on her back. She took several deep breaths before she pulled away. She was not going to cry in front of him, because she was stronger than that, and they both knew it. A few more deep breaths and she felt ready to think about it rationally. She was a Slytherin, after all: she knew how to survive.

"I have to end it, don't I?" she asked Regulus, hoping he would be honest with her not because he hated his brother, but because he didn't want to see her--or even Sirius--hurt. He gave her a long, thoughtful look before finally nodding, and Arlienne sensed his reluctance.

"Dante said he couldn't wait to tell his brother so Pietro could tell Rabastan," Regulus replied. "He seemed to think your brothers would be furious and come after Sirius for sure, which I think was what they were hoping for. They hate him almost as much as they hate the rest of his little gang."

Arlienne nodded as well. "That's true, isn't it? And I know my brothers. They're both overprotective louts, and with Sirius being disowned, they would never stand for it."

"He's been disowned because he rejoices in being a rebel, in being a Gryffindor." Regulus said this last with obvious distaste. "If he gave that up, I'm sure both my father and yours would welcome him back."

Arlienne was touched by Regulus's attempt to actually make things work between her and Sirius. Yet they had always known it was a risk--and that it couldn't possibly last. She had just hoped they would have more time together before Sirius left Hogwarts. Sneaking around was hard, but she would miss it--would miss him.

With a sigh she turned and continued toward the Great Hall. "He won't do that. You know him, Reg."

Regulus snorted under his breath. "Of course not. I know that, and apparently you've figured it out too." She shrugged as he gave her a sideways glance. "You really care about him, don't you?"

She raised her eyebrows as they came into the Great Hall. "Yes, I do. But I care about his safety more." She glanced around the hall and was slightly relieved to note that Sirius was not there, as she just couldn't face him quite yet. She was disappointed to see Dante Avery sitting at the far end of the Slytherin table, talking with Corin Mulciber and Severus Snape. He glanced up and gave her the sort of smile that told her exactly what he was thinking, and Arlienne knew it wasn't good.

A part of her suddenly wanted to stop sneaking around, stop hiding, and be damned with what anyone thought. But then Dante Avery said something to Mulciber and Snape, and they were all looking at her, and she knew that it could never happen: neither her nor Sirius would be safe if they revealed their relationship, and one of them could get hurt. Badly.

"So what are you going to do?" asked Regulus as he helped himself to a light breakfast. Apparently he didn't like to eat much on game day. Arlienne didn't feel like eating either, but forced herself to look and act calmer than she felt.

"I'll talk to him as soon as I can. Tonight." She gave Regulus a steady look. "And end it."

He nodded slowly. "I'm sorry," he offered.

"I know," she said. She wanted to sigh and let her shoulders slump in defeat, but she was too proud. "Thank you, though, for telling me. It means a lot--to both of us."

Regulus snorted as he picked at his breakfast. "Oh, I very much doubt that. Sirius will be furious I had anything to do with it."

"You were just trying to help--" Arlienne started, but he cut her off.

"You know he won't see it that way. I just don't want to see you get hurt." He glanced away.

"And you'd throw him to the dogs?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Of course not," he replied, looking back at her with a challenging look. "He is family, after all. Even if he is an arse for getting himself kicked out of it."

She smiled sadly. "He has to follow his heart." She paused and finally allowed herself to sigh. "But I have to follow my head."

It was over. She just hoped she could find the words.

* * *

Slytherin won the match. Arlienne knew Sirius would be upset, especially given the questionable scuffle over the Snitch in the stands between Regulus and the Gryffindor Seeker, but she also knew she had to talk to him that night. Dante Avery and Corin Mulciber had given her several knowing looks throughout the game, going so far as to glance at the Gryffindor stands and draw their fingers across their throats when they knew she was looking, or mime pointing a wand at their heads. The meaning was clear enough: they wanted her to know they knew about Sirius. And it was only a matter of time before something happened--something dangerous and hurtful.

They had planned on meeting on the Astronomy Tower later that night, but the weather was horrible, so she tried to catch him before dinner in the Great Hall. After waiting around the corridors not far from Gryffindor for over half an hour, however, she decided he must have gone to eat already and hurried to the Great Hall alone. She almost stopped short when she saw him sitting at the Gryffindor table, picking at his food and sporting a black eye.

Trying not to stare, Arlienne hurried toward the Slytherin table and sat down next to Regulus, who also had a large bruise across his cheek and was scowling at his plate. She guessed immediately what was going on: they had fought, and she could only hope it wasn't about her.

"You all right?" she murmured as she filled her plate, one eye on Sirius as he glowered into his food and barely talked to his friends.

"I'm fine," Regulus said, sounding rather short. She raised an eyebrow.

"And the other person?" she asked. She hoped the tone of her voice made it clear she knew exactly who the other person was. Regulus shrugged.

"About the same off as me," he replied.

"Brilliant," Arlienne murmured. She wanted to catch Sirius's eye and give him an encouraging smile, yet she felt like the entire table was watching her and would notice, so she concentrated on her napkin instead.

"Was it about the match?" she asked as casually as she could. Regulus shook his head, and Arlienne felt her heart skip a beat. Before she could ask him anything else, Sirius stood up and stormed away from his friends. She couldn't help but watch him leave, until Regulus hissed at her.

"Stop staring! They're watching you."

Arlienne rubbed at her eyes and turned away. Sure enough, Dante Avery was once again giving her the smirk he had flashed her so many times at the Quidditch match that afternoon. Suddenly losing her appetite, Arlienne threw down her fork and napkin and began to stand. Regulus caught her hand.

"Not now," he whispered. "It's too obvious."

"Let go of me!" she whispered back. "I don't care anymore. You've gone and made everything worse, haven't you?" She pulled away from him and hurried from the Hall as calmly as she could. A dozen different thoughts were racing through her mind: what had Regulus said to Sirius? Had Avery been involved? Was Sirius upset with her?

She hoped to find him in the empty classroom they often used for their illicit meetings, but he was not there. She checked several other places with even less luck, including the Astronomy Tower, where she waited, hoping he might come early. Finally forced to assume he had gone back to Gryffindor, Arlienne made her way back to the Entrance Hall, dreading having to return to the Slytherin dungeons. Remus Lupin was just starting up the staircase, but stopped when he saw her.

"If you're looking for who I think you're looking for, he's probably up by the North Tower near Divination." He shrugged as he continued. "If you're not, it's a good spot for thinking."

She just stared at him as he turned back up the stairs without another look back. He knew. How did he know? Had Sirius told him? Or had he heard it from someone else--from Avery? Did the entire school know then? Either way, she hurried toward the north end of the castle. It was definitely quieter, as there was little traffic in the Divination Tower, even during classes.

He was there, sitting in a window well along the staircase, staring out in the rainy night. Arlienne felt her heart fill with both relief and dread as she gazed at his profile: she really did care about him, and yet she couldn't keep seeing him. He'd end up with worse than a black eye if her family ever found out. She had to end it.

He didn't even move as she started up the stairs. "Come to end it, then?" he asked bitterly. "I was told you would, you know."

She sighed; he was bitter and angry. She had known he would be upset, but the dark hostility he usually kept hidden from her was a powerful, frightening thing, and now it was directed at her. It was her fault; it stung.

"Regulus told you?" she asked, even though she had guessed in the Great Hall. He inclined his head in a sarcastic nod.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think he--" she started, but he cut her off.

"Don't be," he said, turning back to the window. "It's not really your fault. We were dumb, we got caught."

"I wish we hadn't," she whispered. She was standing several feet away, wishing more than anything he would turn toward her, hold her, and keep her from flying apart. But his back was set as he gazed out at the rain. "I don't want to give up." I think I'm in love with you, she wanted to say, but she couldn't. She heard the quiver in her voice and hated it, but at least he turned around when he heard it.

"I want to say 'Then don't give up' but I can't," he said softly, looking down at his hands. "Because I'm not angry at you, I'm mad at them-- at Avery, our families, our houses--the whole world." He finally glanced up and his eyes were blazing. "It's not fair. It's not right."

She choked back a sob, and with two quick steps he was there, his arms around her, his hands stroking her hair as she sobbed into his shoulder. She couldn't help it: the tightness in her chest exploded into a tiny pieces, the feeling of her heart literally falling apart, and it was so piercing she could hardly breathe at first, until his steady, solid embrace calmed her. She glanced up and saw tears in Sirius's eyes as well. She touched his face to gently brush them away.

"It's not fair and it's not right," she said softly. "But it's what we have to do right now. I want you to be safe. I couldn't bear it if something happened to you because of me."

Sirius actually snorted as he kissed her forehead. "I can take care of myself, you know."

"Is that how you got that black eye?" Arlienne couldn't help but tease, and she was relieved when he didn't grow angry again.

"No, that was just my brother's rotten aim," he said, rubbing it ruefully. "And no, I'm not going to tell you why. Doesn't really matter, does it?"

Arlienne sighed. "I'm still sorry, for everything."

Sirius took her hand and led her toward the window well where he had been sitting. They curled up together and gazed through the beveled glass at the storm outside. He kissed her neck softly.

"Don't be sorry," he finally replied. "It's not your fault."

"It's not yours either," she said, turning awkwardly to face him. "You don't think it is, do you?"

He shook his head, but the sad look in his eyes told her otherwise. "Sirius," she said, taking his face in her hands. "It's not your fault either. We haven't done anything wrong."

"And still we suffer," he murmured.

She kissed him, because she had no answer and it might be one of the last times she did. He returned her kiss with equal passion, and for a long moment they didn't talk, until they pulled away with a sigh and simply held one another one last time.

"I love you, you know," he whispered as he stroked her hair once more. Her breath caught in her throat, but a smile curved on her lips.

"I was thinking I loved you too," she replied, still smiling to herself. She could imagine him grinning as well.

"So now that that's out of the way, what do we do next?"

She didn't want to answer and stayed quiet instead. She wanted their time together to last forever. Yet when he nudged her, she sighed. "I think you know."

Now it was his turn to be silent for a long time. "We go our separate ways, pretend like we hardly know each other."

Arlienne nodded miserably, refusing to cry again. "And eventually you'll go to your fight, me to mine."

He looked down at her in surprise. "You said you wouldn't fight."

"Not for the Dark Lord, no," she said softly, gazing into his eyes. "But I'll always be fighting my feelings."

"We can fight them together," said Sirius, and she saw a flicker of hope cross his face. She hated dashing it, but she shook her head, and hope was replaced with loss, however understanding.

"I'm not that strong," she whispered. "I'm just Arlienne Lestrange, a dutiful, Slytherin daughter."

"And I'm Sirius Black," he whispered as he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her for the last time. "A disowned, Gryffindor son."

* * *