James could smell that the first batch of fairy cakes was nearly ready. The smell had apparently wafted around the whole house: his bedroom was about as far from the kitchen as it was possible to be without going right down to the bottom of the garden. Baking sprees seemed to be how his mother occupied her time while he was home for the holidays. Even now that Christmas was over, she couldn’t seem to stop. It was like she thought the Hogwarts house elves didn’t feed them well enough--evidently she hadn’t seen their treacle tarts.

The last time he had been downstairs, the huge ceramic mixing bowl had been full to the brim, and he was sure that was enough mixture for at least three batches. Why his mother was making fairy cakes, of all things, he didn’t really know. He was seventeen, nearly eighteen -- far too old for them. Or maybe she was thinking of Lily. There was no way all those cakes would be eaten today, and tomorrow he was going back to school, so maybe she intended him to take some back in his trunk and share them. Girly cakes for his new girlfriend?

No, he couldn’t complain, whatever her motives. Cake, whether baked by his mother or by the elves, always went down well. Especially with their current houseguest. James couldn’t help but grin at that thought. Sirius might have his own flat now, but, while he was there, he always complained about being either lonely or underfed. When he came to stay here, he was neither. And James had a lot of fun too.

Right on cue, James heard a knock on his bedroom door. It was sharp and clear and wood-shatteringly loud, but really it was only cursory. The door flew open before James could reply, and in bounded Sirius, as expected; James’s father certainly didn’t have that much energy and his mother was, according to his nose, otherwise occupied.

“Can you smell the cake?� Sirius asked, pausing in the doorway. Without waiting for an answer, he came right into the room and leaned on the end of the bed. “Because I have a plan.�

James grinned. When Sirius was in Tigger mode, there was always fun to be had. Lily had spent quite some time explaining the talking bear and friends to him -- they were a favourite story from her childhood -- and she had also made the comparison between Sirius and the bouncy tiger. James thought it fitted perfectly and so it had stuck in his mind. He hadn’t told Sirius about Winnie the Pooh just yet, but he thought that his friend would rather like the simple stories.

“Go on,� James said.

“Firewhisky. We spike the cakes before we take them back to school. Let some unsuspecting people eat them and see what happens. Sounds like fun, don’t you think?�

James laughed aloud. It sounded like a recipe for trouble, and therefore something that Sirius would enjoy very much. “As long as they can in no way be traced back to me, you’re on.�

“Oh, don’t go into Head Boy mode on me,� Sirius groaned, rolling his eyes.

“Hey! I’ve agreed to do it, haven’t I?�

“As any Marauder should.�

“How do we go about this?� James asked. The Marauders might make their pranks look easy, but in reality, each one took a lot of planning and foresight to pull off. “You won’t get a lot of alcohol into one little cupcake, and eating the cake will make people less susceptible to the alcohol.�

“And this will be no fun if everyone stays perfectly sober. We want a big effect, preferably at breakfast or lunch.�

“The best times for causing chaos.�

“What about a potion, then? To strengthen the effects or something.�

“In that case, why not just cut out the Firewhisky altogether? It’s not exactly cheap.�

“Because I’ve already thought of a potion that would strengthen the alcohol, and I can’t think of one to replace its effects completely,� Sirius said triumphantly.

James laughed again. Sirius always did like taking charge. “Then let’s get started!� he said.

***

This wasn’t the first time that James and Sirius had found themselves trying to make a potion in the house without James’s parents noticing. However, the last time they had tried it was all the way back in their fifth year, when they were both still taking potions. Now, neither of them had that as an excuse for needing ingredients, which made the whole thing a lot harder.

They were also without Peter -- he had been invaluable to them last time, so he was much missed. In fact, they had debated sending him an owl and getting him to come around. However, they had eventually decided that this would only attract even more attention to their plot. Peter hadn’t been particularly keen to spend time with them this holiday, as Mr and Mrs Potter were well aware, so dragging him around now could raise suspicions. James and Sirius missed Peter, but they would just have to do without him.

Now, it was just the two of them, hunched over the cauldron in the broomshed. James’s parents were under the impression that they were cleaning up an old broom for Sirius to use, which, given the state of most brooms in the shed, meant that they wouldn’t be missed for a few hours. Ingredients had been found in the bottom of trunks, borrowed from cupboards and, in the case of the daisies, picked at the bottom of the still-frosty garden.

“Do you think that’s pale enough?� James asked, as they finished the thirteenth stir clockwise -- the final step of the instructions. “I mean, exactly how pale is pale green supposed to look?�

“A picture would be really useful,� Sirius said, “but I don’t think it really matters if it’s too dark.�

James tilted his head to one side, quizzical.

“Well, usually, the paler the potion, the weaker its effects are. The stronger the better for this plan, surely, so slightly too dark a colour can’t hurt.�

James laughed. “I have to admit that I’m not used to following your lead in potions, after all those melted cauldrons, but today, I think you’re probably more on the ball than I am!�

“I still managed an O in my OWL, didn’t I?� Sirius said, rolling his eyes. “I was always distracted by Snivellus in lessons, or all of my cauldrons would have survived. I reckon you only paid attention to impress Evans. Her favourite subject, isn’t it?�

“Along with Charms,� said James bashfully.

Sirius snorted. “You two are joined at the hip already, I swear.�

“Yeah, she’s attached to one hip; you’re on the other,� James quipped. “You’re the one who spent Christmas at my house, after all.�

“That’s because a girl could never replace me,� Sirius replied. “Not even Evans. Would she ever have agreed to do this?�

“Perhaps not, but I’m sure we could find plenty of other things to do…�

Before James could so much as wiggle his eyebrows suggestively, Sirius had shoulder-barged him into the wall.

“Oi! Mind the cauldron,� James said.

“Mind your euphemisms, then,� said Sirius jokingly. “I didn’t spill anything. It’s bad enough watching you two necking in the common room; I don’t want to hear about it when she’s not here, too.�

“No, I suppose you get enough yourself. You don’t need to hear about my conquests.� James frowned at his own comment. “Not that Lily’s a conquest. Never.�

“Merlin, would you drop it already? I don’t want you getting all doe-eyed on me. Marauding first, romance second, all right?�

“Whatever, Padfoot,� James snorted. “Let’s go find those fairy cakes.�

***

Half an hour later, the first batch of fairy cakes had been appropriated and doused with the fully cooled potion. They’d had a little trouble convincing Mrs Potter that they really were going to take the entire first batch back to Hogwarts, instead of eating half of it now, but they’d reminded her of the last slices of Christmas cake that they could have instead. In the end, she had been amused by their eagerness to share her baking with their friends.

“After all, James, next to what the house elves can produce, these cakes really aren’t anything to remark upon,� she had said.

Their effusive, if possibly overenthusiastic, praise had only made her laugh, but thankfully, James didn’t think she was suspicious. After all, what on earth could they be plotting with one batch of fairy cakes?

“I think the best part of this is that it’s so hard to trace,� said Sirius. “There will be so many things that could cause it on the table that it’ll take forever for someone to suspect the cupcakes.�

***

On the train back to Hogwarts, Remus and Peter were somewhat sceptical.

“You’re really going to try to get Hogwarts drunk?� Remus asked. “First years and all?�

“Well, maybe not the first years,� Sirius hedged. “We’ll be careful where we position the cakes.�

“And which table are you going to put them on?� said Peter. “I mean, twenty four cakes aren’t going to go far. You’ll have to choose one house to target.�

James, who had been quiet for a few minutes longer than normal, suddenly seemed to brighten up. “Who said we were going to target a house?�

“What?� asked Remus, eyebrows raised.

Then Peter’s eyes lit up too. “There are five tables in the hall.�

Sirius let out a guffaw. “Can you imagine McGonagall? This is going to be legendary.�

***

The seventh-year Gryffindor boys’ dormitory was unusually quiet immediately after dinner that day. Normally, the first day back in school would bring raucous laughter, things being thrown across rooms, and a surprising amount of wrestling on the floor. However, on this particular icy evening, the room was deserted. While the four trunks had been opened, nothing was being hurled from them. No shins were being bruised on the wooden floor and no coarse jokes could be heard. If anyone had been paying attention, they might have been worried for the fate of the normal occupants.

The kitchens, on the other hand, were somewhat busier than normal. Having put on an especially nice dinner to welcome the students back to school, the house elves were now having to work even harder than usual to clean everything up. In the midst of this happy bustle, four figures stood somewhat taller than the rest. Outwardly, they were just coming to have a chat to their favourite elf, Brindy. Inwardly, they were on a reconnaissance mission.

“What did Master James get Mistress Lily for Christmas?� Brindy asked, a twinkle in her eye. Over the years, she had heard many of the ups and downs of James and Lily’s relationship, so James would often indulge her with snippets of their happiness now.

“Oh, nothing much,� said James, unusually bashful.

“Nothing much?� Sirius butted in. “He agonised over it from the minute she agreed to go out with him!�

“It was on his mind for months,� added Peter.

Remus smiled but said nothing, too busy examining the five tables (which mirrored those of the Great Hall) to come up with a witty jibe.

“Is Master going to tell Brindy or does Brindy have to guess?� asked the smiling elf.

“Maybe something sweet would encourage me to share the details,� James said to Brindy with a wink.

“So soon after dinner, Master James?� she asked. “Brindy should not be surprised by the appetites of you boys by now.�

As she turned to catch the cake that had whizzed out of a cupboard towards her, James winked at his three friends.

“Come and sit at the table with us, Brindy,� Sirius suggested. “We can’t talk to you if you’re busy doing something else.�

“Yes, the dishes can wait for a few minutes. We want you,� encouraged James.

Brindy hesitated for a minute, but then she let Sirius and James steer her and her cake towards the fireplace, where a few low stool were always left for the handful of students who had found this retreat.

Peter and Remus, mumbling vague excuses about not being hungry and having heard far too much about Lily already today, turned and started leaving the kitchens. As Remus opened the door to let Peter go through, Peter slipped under the invisibility cloak and turned back into the room, letting Remus leave alone.

The Marauders knew better than to assume that the house elves would turn a blind eye to their plots. A little stealth would be required to get the information they needed.

***

Meanwhile, the empty dormitory back in the Gryffindor tower had grown a little less empty. Lily had always wondered why the founders had only bothered charming the stairs to the girls’ dormitories. She also wondered if it was the same in all of the other houses, or whether this was just Gryffindor’s sense of chivalry at work. Nowadays, she was rather glad of the imbalance; often, this dorm was the only place where she and James could get some privacy.

On nights like tonight, she was especially glad that she had free access to James’s dormitory. Although she had seen him at dinner, he had vanished straight after, and now she wanted some company. She had expected to find him there, messing around with his friends as usual, but the silence in the corridor outside had revealed their absence, even before Lily had taken hold of the cold, metal door handle.

Now she was sitting on James’s bed, his pillow in her lap, wondering what to do next. She didn’t particularly want to go back to the common room or her own dorm. Emily had been all over her sixth-year boyfriend when Lily had left, and she knew that Megan and Livia were studying for the divination test they were expecting tomorrow. They wouldn’t make for good company; Lily didn’t enjoy having her palm read. The usual resulting predictions of doom and gloom reflected the current state of the Wizarding world all too well.

No, Lily thought that she would be able to amuse herself much better up here on her own. James’s trunk was wide open. Maybe she’d have a dig around in there to see if he had any interesting books that she could borrow. Either that or she could tidy up a bit for him.

***

James, Sirius, and Peter wended their way back to the Gryffindor common room in a jubilant mood. The elves hadn’t suspected a thing, Brindy had been delighted by the details of Lily’s Christmas present and, from under the cloak, Peter had seen enough for them to figure out exactly how to get the fairy cakes onto the staff table. Now they just needed to find Remus and finalise the plan.

As the Fat Lady’s portrait swung open before them (while she was recovering from Christmas’s excesses, she wasn’t in any mood to scold them for being out late) the three Marauders hear a chorus of laughter coming from the common room. This was, in James’s opinion, an unusual occurrence. When the majority of the Gryffindors in the common room were laughing, either he or Sirius was usually behind it. Remus could be responsible, but it was unlikely; his furriest friend was the least fond of the limelight.

So, it was with curiosity that James followed Sirius and Peter into the common room. It was with shock and horror that he took in the scene entertaining its occupants. Lily, clothes rumpled, hair mussed, was staggering to her feet at the bottom of the stairs to the boys’ dormitories. Her cheeks were flushed and she was giggling just a little too loudly.

James had never seen Lily get properly drunk before, but it wasn’t hard to guess what he was witnessing now. Neither was it hard to guess what had caused this sudden transformation in his girlfriend. He was almost certain that, up in his dorm, there would now only be twenty three cupcakes, instead of the two dozen that he had left there.

He realised that Lily, now upright, had spotted him where he stood by the portrait hole.

“Potter!� she called giddily. “Oi, James Potter! Get your arse over here now!�

James winced. Lily almost never swore. She certainly didn’t tend to do it in front of the whole common room, as the shock on the first-years’ faces showed. Their Head Girl normally had a lot more self-possession.

James knew he had to respond to her summons or risk worsening the scene, so he started weaving through the armchairs and the knots of giggling teenagers towards her. However, before he could get there, Lily was distracted.

“Sirius Black,� he heard her say, loud enough to be heard over the chatter. Her “s� was unfortunately slurred. “Sirius Black,� she repeated, “I think this is your fault. It’s always your fault.�

James stopped walking and looked around for Sirius, whom he had lost track of while he focused on Lily. Sirius looked like he was trying to sneak up to the dorms unnoticed by Lily, but, unfortunately for him, she seemed pretty sharp even when inebriated.

“I bet--�She stopped to clear her throat. “I bet you left those little cakes there on purpose. Those whatchamacallit cakes, the little sponge ones.�

“Fairy?� supplied a bold fourth-year, who seemed rather amused by the whole situation.

James cringed again and started working his way across the room towards her.

“That’s the one,� Lily said with a grin. Her voice was still clearly audible. “Fairy cakes. You left ‘em there for me. It’s always your fault. And now--�She stopped to giggle again. “Now I think I’m a little bit drunk.�

As she said that, James reached her at last and grabbed her around the waist.

“I think maybe we should get you out of here, Lily,� he said in a low voice. Then, before she could speak again, he steered her quickly up the stairs towards his dormitory. She was not going to be happy with him when she sobered up.

***

The next morning as he lay in bed, James was despondent. Lily had eventually fallen asleep on his bed and then, with the help of Emily, he had taken her back to her own dormitory. Hopefully she would be completely sober by now, but angry Lily with a hangover wouldn’t really be much better than drunken Lily.

Lily wasn’t his only problem, though. After her outburst, the whole Gryffindor common room knew that they had a batch of spiked fairy cakes. Their prank was in tatters, and Sirius would not be happy with him. Remus or Peter probably wouldn’t be so bothered, having not been involved from the start, but Sirius would take this as a personal insult. So far, James hadn’t had to face Sirius’s wrath, as he had vanished off to the library with the other two, leaving James to deal with Lily by himself. Then they had all come back and gone to bed while he was manoeuvring Lily across the common room, trying to get her to her own bed.

It was with a sigh that James pushed open the curtains of his four-poster, unwilling to face either the cold outside or the disappointment of his friends. However, as he looked around, he realised that the dorm was completely empty. It seemed that everyone had gone down to breakfast without him.

James got dressed quickly. What with being at the top of a tower, the room was generally quite chilly in the winter, despite the fire in the middle. Once his robes were on, his instinct was to dawdle, to put off the coming confrontations. However, he pulled himself together quickly; there was no point in delaying the inevitable.

He hastened down the stairs, refusing to let himself slow down, but when he reached the bottom he came to an abrupt stop. The portrait hole had just opened, and his three dorm-mates were coming through it, Sirius first. Simultaneously, Lily had entered the common room from the stairs to the girls’ dormitories.

And then she saw him. She saw him and she raised her eyebrows and she started stalking, prowling across the common room towards him. James swallowed hard.

And then she reached him. She stood tall in front of him, shoulders square, back straight as a broomstick and she raised her hand, up, up, up, until it was just a little higher than his cheek.

James’s shoulders tensed involuntarily.

And then the corner of her mouth twitched, just a tiny bit, but James knew her face well enough by now to spot it. It was just a tiny movement, a little creasing of the skin that marked where the wrinkles might appear one day, but it gave way a second later to a full blown, beaming smile and then pealing laughter.

“Merlin’s beard, James! Did you really think I would..?� She trailed off, not enough breath left to finish the thought. “I think that was a wind-up worthy of a Marauder!�

James opened his mouth to speak, but found that his tongue refused to move. At a loss for an adequate reaction to his girlfriend’s mirth, he just shook his head silently.

“You’ve got to admit that you had it coming,� Lily said, smirking. “I can’t always let you and Tigger over there get away with it.�

From the other side of the common room, James heard his friends in stitches of laughter.