Winifred's Dream


The day that Voldemort was finally defeated was one of jubilation throughout the wizarding world. There were the brief initial reports as the first owls began arriving, and then the news spread. So many owls were sent that day that it was noticed by the Muggles, who reported the odd occurrence in their evening news broadcast. Winifred was at home with the girls as usual, and Niles came home from work early. They went out to celebrate with friends and family, and didn't return home until late that evening. A special edition of the Daily Prophet had arrived, with an account of the Battle of Hogwarts and a list of those who had perished in the fighting. Though some of the names seemed vaguely familiar to Winifred--perhaps people she had gone to school with, or students when she taught at Hogwarts--none were any that she actually knew.

She didn't know until the following day, when reading the latest Daily Prophet, which included a more comprehensive list of those known to have died. His name jumped out at her: Severus Snape, Headmaster of Hogwarts.

She felt stunned, as if she just had the wind knocked out of her. “No...� she breathed.

Some time had passed when her ten-year-old, Sophie, came into the room and found her crying.

“What's the matter, Mum?� Sophie asked with concern. Laying her hand gently on her mother's shoulder, she looked down at the newspaper opened in front of her. “Someone's died? Someone you know?�

Winifred nodded.

“Who was it?�

Winifred wiped her eyes and tried to compose herself a little. “An old friend,� she said finally.

“Oh. I'm sorry,� Sophie said sympathetically. After a moment she asked, “Do you want some tea?�

“No, sweetheart. I'll be fine. You look after Julie for me, will you?�

“Okay,� said Sophie, and she turned slowly and left the room to join her sister in the garden.

As she watched her daughter walk away, Winifred's eyes brimmed anew with tears. “Oh, Severus...�
she murmured, “I was going to tell you...�

Niles came home a while later, and his face fell immediately upon seeing his wife looking so distraught. “What's the matter?� he asked.

Winifred showed him the paper.

“Someone you know? Who?�

“Severus Snape,� she replied tonelessly, looking out the window.

She had mentioned that name to him before, and he considered it now as he looked at her. Then, after first glancing around to see that the girls weren't about, he said quietly, “Sophie's father?�

Winifred nodded.

Niles sighed. “I'm sorry, darling,� he said, “You were planning to talk to him, weren't you?�

“Yes!� cried Winifred in anguish, “I was going to try to see him sometime soon, before she started school...�

“Well,� said Niles gently, “You couldn't have known that he would be killed...�

“Perhaps I should have known, though, or at least suspected...� She sighed. “I need to be alone for a bit,� she said. “You don't mind watching the girls and feeding them supper while I go for a walk--�

“Not at all,� Niles said, patting her on the back. “Take your time. We'll be fine.�

Winifred went out and walked aimlessly for a long time. Her mind was full of memories of Severus. His face--especially his dark eyes--and his voice, and the way he moved. She remembered his subtle expressions: the raised eyebrow, the hint of a smile, or the absolutely inscrutable look, where she couldn't tell at all what he was thinking or feeling...

She remembered too well how she had felt when she was with him, how her heart leaped when he came to see her, and how sweet and warm were those nights they had spent together...

It was too cruel that he had never got to know Sophie. She should have told him about her sooner, though she did try to, a couple of years ago. When it became known that You-Know-Who was back, she had the feeling that it was time to tell him. She wanted to talk to him face-to-face, but--not knowing if he would agree to meet her--she contacted Dumbledore first to enlist his help. But the wisest wizard she knew had told her that it was highly unlikely that Severus would agree to meet with her, and that even if he did, it would be unwise. Severus was doing very valuable and dangerous work for the Order, and shouldn't do anything which could compromise his position, Dumbledore had said. So she gave up on the idea of trying to see him then, and now she wondered whether that had really been the right thing to do.

All these thoughts went through her mind as walked through a field, into the woods, beside a stream, circling around back toward home. It was dusk when she finally returned to the house.

Niles continued to respect her need to deal with this in her own way, leaving her to her thoughts as he read to the girls and put them to bed. He even started to do the washing-up, but she sent him out of kitchen, feeling that she wanted some busy work to do. He was already sleeping when she finally felt tired enough to go to bed. After placing her wand on the nightstand beside her, as was her habit, she lay her head on the pillow and eventually fell asleep.


She was walking alone on the grounds of Hogwarts, on a warm spring day. The sun was shining in a blue sky, the grass was green and soft underfoot, and flowers were blooming. Then she saw him walking towards her. She recognized him right away, even though there was something unusual in his appearance. He was dressed all in white, which contrasted sharply with his black hair.

She ran to him and threw herself into his arms, which he held open as she approached.

“Severus...� she murmured.

She was so full of joy and relief as she clasped him that it took her a moment to realize that something didn't feel right. He didn't feel warm through his robes, as living bodies always do. She drew back from him as this awareness dawned on her. Gazing at his face, she touched his cheek, and it felt cold beneath her fingertips.

“You're gone, aren't you?� she asked sadly.

He nodded.

“Oh, Severus,� she said softly, as the tears rolled down her cheeks. She wrapped her arms around him again, pressing herself tightly against him, as if the warmth of her own body could bring life back to his.

“Aw, now, Winnie. Don't cry. Not for me,� he said soothingly, gently stroking her hair.

She released him finally, and wiped her eyes with the handkerchief he handed her. Looking back at him now, she saw that he looked just the same as he did the last time she'd seen him, about nine years ago. Yet his expression, and his manner as he spoke to her, was much more calm and relaxed than she had ever seen.

“Everything's all right,� he said placidly. “The Dark Lord is gone--I was able to help a bit with that. It was a hard battle, but it's over now. We won. There will be peace. And you're all right, aren't you?�

“Yes, but you're gone...� she began.

“I know, but that's all right, too,� he said thoughtfully. “I mean, I suppose I really wanted to live, but now that I'm dead... It's not so bad. No more worries. Nothing hurts. It's very peaceful.�

She looked into his dark eyes, so familiar to her, and saw that he really was at peace now. Then she remembered Sophie, and her eyes welled with tears again. “But Severus, I never got to tell you about Sophie!� she said.

They were near the lake, and Winifred stepped towards it now, drawing her wand. She cast an image onto the surface of the water, a portrait of her elder daughter. Severus stood beside her, looking at it. Sophie resembled her mother, only with a slightly longer nose, and jet black hair that hung straight past her shoulders.

“Your child?� he asked.

“Yes, and yours,� she answered.

He gave her a puzzled look then, and she quickly explained, “I reversed the anti-pregnancy spell shortly before we stopped seeing each other, because I just knew in my heart that it was the right thing to do. And I was right. She's been an absolute joy, the light of my life--besides my other daughter, that is.�

She paused a moment, smiling, and glanced at him. As he looked back at her questioningly, she went on, “But then, within a fortnight, I left Hogwarts, not knowing if I was pregnant or not. Then, when I did know, I wasn't sure whether to tell you. I didn't want you to think that I was using her to get you back. I wanted you to want me back because you really loved me, not because I had your child. I always meant to tell you eventually--and once I almost did--but I definitely was going to tell you soon. She'll be eleven next year, so I was going to try to meet with you sometime before she started school, to ask you whether I should send her to Hogwarts or to Beauxbatons. We heard rumors about things happening at Hogwarts this year and... Forgive me, but I wasn't sure...�

She watched his expression change from amazement to wonder, and then to understanding as she told him all this. Finally he nodded and said, “Well, you were right to be cautious. There was a lot going on at Hogwarts that wasn't right, but there wasn't much I could do about it...�

“Oh, I don't blame you...� she protested.

“Yes, but it'll be all right now,� he said. “I expect things will be back to normal at Hogwarts come September, so--if you want my opinion--by all means, send her there.�

“All right. I will,� she answered, moving towards a nearby fallen log and sitting down on it. Seeing him continuing to gaze in wonder at Sophie's portrait, she said regretfully, “It's a shame you never got to know her. I'm sure you would love her if you did.�

“I'm sure I would,� he said softly, sitting on the log beside her.

“She's so bright, Severus. And so sweet and caring. She's so intuitive, too. It's almost uncanny. It's like she knows what people are thinking and feeling. She's so good with her little sister, Julie--that's Niles' girl, though he loves Sophie as well. He's a good father to her, so you needn't worry about that.�

“I'm glad.�

“You needn't worry about her being a witch, either. I knew for sure when she was three years old, when I took her to the beach one day. She was paddling in the water, and something brushed against her leg. It frightened her, and the next thing I knew, she was walking on top of the water, trying to get away from it!�

She laughed at the memory, and Severus smiled.

“She's very keen to start school,� Winifred continued. “I told her about all the subjects she'll be studying, and she said the one that sounded the most interesting was potions.�

He smiled again. “Really?� he asked.

“Yes. She's your girl, all right.�

“She's beautiful. Of course, since she looks so much like you.�

“She does have your hair, though.�

“That's fine.�

She turned to look at him again and said, “I'm so sorry that I never told you about her. And now she'll never get to know you, either. I'm sure she would love you, and admire you, if she did.�

“Don't worry about it, Winnie,� he reassured her. “I don't blame you for anything. You did what you thought was best, and that's all that anyone can expect. I'm sure you're a wonderful mother.�

He leaned towards her a little, and reached up to gently brush her hair away from her face with his fingers. There was a sweet sort of longing in his eyes and in his voice as he gazed at her and said, “You're still so beautiful.�

She blinked back tears as she whispered, “Oh, Severus... How I've missed you! I loved you so much... and still do.�

“That's more than I ever deserved,� he said humbly. He looked at her with tender concern as she continued to pour her heart out to him.

“I've never stopped hoping that we could be together again someday,� she confessed. “I've never forgotten you, nor what it was like to be with you. How sweet it was, the time we spent together here... I often think of it. I remember how you used to look at me sometimes, and how we talked. The things you used to say. How lovely it was when you held me and kissed me... and touched me...�

He smiled a little and lowered his eyes. “I remember that, too.�

She put her hand on his arm and said, with intense emotion, yet almost in a whisper, “It was so special, wasn't it? What we shared...�

His dark eyes gazed back into hers.“It was,� he said with deep sincerity. “You meant a great deal to me. It was really hard for me to let you go.�

“You were just trying to protect me, weren't you?�

“Yes, and I'd do it again, because you are worth it. You're alive and well now, aren't you?�

“Well, yes...� she admitted. “But, sometimes I wish...�

“Listen, Winnie,� he said, turning completely towards her and taking both her hands. Holding them gently in his cold fingers, he said earnestly, “It's fine to remember me sometimes, but it isn't good for you to dwell on the past too much. You have a lot to live for now. Your husband is a good man, isn't he?�

“Yes, he is,� she agreed.

“And he loves you, doesn't he?�

She nodded.

“And you have two wonderful children, both well and happy, right?�

“Yes.�

“You have a good life now, don't you? So enjoy it. Love those who love you, and be happy. You can do that, can't you?�

She looked into his eyes and gave a slow nod.

“Then do, because that's what I want you to do. All right?�

“All right.�

He paused a moment and said solemnly, “Promise me.�

“I promise,� she answered.

He watched her face, as if to be sure that she understood what he was saying, and that she would keep her word. Satisfied, he gave her a smile and squeezed her hands. Then he got up and stepped away from her, and she realized that he was leaving. Desperate to make him stay a little bit longer, she got up and caught him by the sleeve. “Wait!� she said.

He stopped, and she moved close to him and said, “Let me kiss you before you go.�

He gazed at her tenderly, and bent his head down towards her. She pushed his hair away from his face, and pressed her lips to his. Though they were cold, she kissed him with all the love she still felt for him, wishing that it could bring him back to life. Then as they started to move apart, she suddenly threw her arms around him again and clung to him. He stroked her hair and caressed her back lightly, and they stayed like this for a while. Then put his hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her back, saying, “Let me go, Winnie.�

She released him slowly, and looked at his face once more, her heart aching.

“Remember what I said,� he reminded her. “You promised.�

She nodded, then said, “I'll tell Sophie about you now.�

He smiled a little. “Good,� he said. “Tell her how much I would have loved her, and been proud of her.�

“I will.�

He started to leave, but turned back and said, “And tell her... Tell her that I loved you.�

She felt a sudden warmth and lightness swell within her, and her lips parted as if to say something, but no words came. He held her gaze a moment longer, smiling serenely. Then, with a small gesture of his hand towards her, he turned and walked away.


When she awoke, she felt confused for a moment, and surprised to find herself in her bed at home. Her dream had seemed so real, she thought she should still be on the grounds of Hogwarts--lying on the grass, perhaps.

Niles was already up, getting dressed, and he turned to her as she sat up. “Oh,� he said apologetically, “I was trying not to wake you.�

“That's all right,� she said, putting on her dressing gown and picking up her wand from the nightstand.
She washed quickly, then went downstairs to make breakfast.

Before he left, Niles asked her with concern, “Are you all right, darling? I could call in today, if you want me to stay home...�

She smiled at him, and said appreciatively, “No, I'm fine, really. You go on to work.�

So he kissed her and the girls goodbye, and then left.

After breakfast she had Sophie work on some arithmetic problems, and tried to teach Julie how to tie her shoelaces. Then she let them go outdoors to play, and sat down with a cup of tea and the latest Daily Prophet. “An Exclusive Interview with Harry Potter� was the featured article, in which the hero of the wizarding world described some of the events surrounding his defeat of Voldemort. She began reading it, and when she turned the page, a picture immediately caught her eye.

“Severus Snape, Headmaster of Hogwarts� read the caption beneath it. In his familiar black robes, he looked rather stern, and much older. Creases in his brow and around his eyes made him look careworn and troubled, Winifred thought. So different from the relaxed, calm face she had seen in her dream. She felt sorry for him, for all that he must have endured in the past several years. Scanning through the remainder of the article, she found his name and read:


“One thing I really want everyone to know about is the important role that Professor Snape played in the fight against Voldemort,� Potter continues. “Though he was a Death Eater at one time, he turned to our side long ago, even before my parents were killed. He worked so hard, so courageously, spying on Voldemort and his lot for us, while pretending to still be on their side. And Voldemort never even knew it. Professor Snape provided crucial information and assistance to us--to me, personally--so much so that I believe that without his help, we might never have succeeded.�


Except for the fact that Harry Potter was talking about Severus in this interview, none of this seemed like news to Winifred. She felt that, somehow, she had known it all along.

Sophie came into the room just then. Seeing the mournful expression on her mother's face, she said, “Are you all right, Mum?�

“Yes.�

Sophie approached her, saying, “Are you still sad about your old friend?�

Winifred nodded, and Sophie stood beside her, looking as she did at the picture in the paper.

“Is that your friend?� Sophie asked.

“Yes.�

Sophie stared at the picture for a moment and said, “Was he my real dad?�

Winifred raised her eyebrows with only mild surprise, as she was becoming accustomed to her daughter's remarkable ability to sense what people were thinking and feeling. “Yes. He was,� she answered.

“He was the headmaster of Hogwarts?� said Sophie, impressed.

“Yes. Just this past year, though.�

“Do you want to talk about him?�

Winifred smiled. “Yes, I do,� she said, rising from her chair. “Let's go make lunch, and I'll tell you all about him.�