Ginny Weasley lay on her bed, staring at the slight cracks in the ceiling; the result of having Fred and George inhabit the room directly above for so many years. She smiled as she absentmindedly recalled the weeks towards of the end of her fifth year; walking hand in hand with Harry, snogging by the lake, and then falling asleep against him in the common room. This was coupled with the panic and stress of studying for O.W.L.s, but Harry was the best at calming her when she threw down her books in frustration. He was the person she wanted to be with, but he’d ended it, hadn’t he?

As she remembered him leaving her after Dumbledore’s funeral, Ginny felt the rare sensation of a tight stomach and a lump in her throat. With difficulty, she fought back the tears. She hadn’t cried when he’d said “we can’t be together�. She’d put on a brave face and grinned.
“It’s for some stupid, noble reason, isn’t it?� That’s what she’d told him whilst concealing the deep hurt from her face.

She lay on her back; thinking. She was riddled with worry. Harry was leaving in one week - the day after he turned 17. Leaving with Ron and Hermione to hunt after Voldemort. The idea sounded ridiculous in her head; tracking Voldemort, the day after coming of age.

The only person she could think of that had been so fearless of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named had been over 150 years old, but was now dead, killed by Voldemort’s right hand man.

Dumbledore: killed by the man he trusted. The thought of Snape made her blood boil and run cold at the same time. Snape, a mere follower of Voldemort, who was meant to be a spy for their own side. And Dumbledore had trusted him.

Her biggest fear was that in a war it was very optimistic to hope that all three would come back alive. She couldn’t bear the thought of losing Harry, Ron, or Hermione. And then there was her family. The fear gripped her like a vice and she violently forced it out of her mind. Ever since the return of You-Know-Who this had been happening more and more frequently.

Ginny redirected her thoughts to Harry’s birthday to distract herself. She had not been able to think of anything to give him as a present, and this year she felt that it had to be flawless. Not only was it his 17th, but it would be the last day before he left for his perilous task.

She knew he wouldn’t expect a present from her, but it was important to her to choose something that he would value. It could maybe be something useful against Voldemort or something to bring a little humour and happiness back into his world. That seemed to be lacking lately. There had been a lot of serious talking with Ron and Hermione that stopped the instant anyone drew near.

Ginny allowed herself to remember the brief time in which they were a pair. It was something she rarely let herself indulge in and normally fought away forcefully.

She remembered one night in particular. She hadn’t been able to sleep with her mind churning with exam revision and had come down to sit by the fire of the common room. As she walked down the staircase Ginny had seen the firelight dancing off Harry’s jet black hair. He started when he heard her footsteps but wordlessly reached out for her. They had sat there for a long time without talking. Ginny recalled the burning warmth of his body and how she could very faintly make out his heartbeat and her own in the silence.

After a while he spoke, his voice croaky from lack of speech. They talked in whispers until the common room began to lighten. She told him how she was worried about her Potion O.W.Ls and even more scared about the uprising of Voldemort and his safety and how terrified of losing everyone she was. Harry comforted her, and confided that the burden of defeating Voldemort was made worse by the prophecy and that he was losing confidence that he could ever succeed and free the magical world from this tyranny.

‘Harry,’ she whispered. ‘Are you…does it make you…scared?’
He had looked her straight in the eyes, considering her. Then he dropped his gaze.

‘Ginny,’ he said earnestly. ‘I’m terrified. But, I know I have to do it, and it’s not that I feel obligated,’ he stated quickly as Ginny made to interrupt. ‘Dumbledore said I would never be satisfied until Voldemort was gone. And he is right.’

Ginny realized how honest Harry was being with her and how difficult it was. She forced herself not flinch at the name this time. All she did was lay her small hand on his arm. He pulled her close, burying his face in her hair.

She felt Harry’s smile against h…

She jumped as the door suddenly swung open. Hermione walked in and sat on the camp bed beside Ginny’s bed.
‘Did I scare you, Ginny? I’m sorry,’ she apologized. ‘Are you ready to go to sleep yet?’
Hermione slid her legs beneath her blankets.

Ginny did not want to talk; her mind was still buzzing with thoughts. It was times like this she could make use of Dumbledore’s stone Pensieve.
‘I have to clean my teeth,’ she murmured vaguely and wandered to the bathroom.

Ginny sat on the floor next to the shower, knees tucked up to her chest, combing her fingers absentmindedly through her flaming red hair. She mentally shook herself.

Ginny brushed her teeth and returned to her room. Hermione was sitting up in bed, not reading a thick tome as usual, but searching through a small, purple beaded purse. After a moments rummaging, she folded a sweater, reordered a few books and placed the tiny bag by her bed. Even being brought up magically, it was still strange for Ginny to see huge books and clothes placed into something of that size.

‘Ready?’ Hermione asked, her wand pointed at the light. She pushed her hair off her face.

‘Yes,’ replied Ginny. She slipped into her bed as Hermione’s wand swished and flicked and the room was thrown into darkness by a non-verbal incantation.

Silence. A sigh. It was so quiet that Ginny heard the noise of Hermione’s mouth opening to speak softly. ‘Ginny, what’s wrong?’

‘I’m OK, Hermione, she whispered. ‘It’s just, Harry’s been on my mind a lot.’

‘I can tell,’ Hermione murmured. ‘Do you want to talk about it?’

Ginny didn’t, but her mouth opened anyway.

‘How can he - how can you and Ron, really go after You-Know-Who? Harry isn’t even legally allowed to use magic for another week!’

Her outburst was followed by silence.

‘I know,’ said Hermione quietly. ‘I keep looking for some logic to stop us, to make us see reason. But Ginny, this is a war. Reason and logic don’t exist. And I know you know that. I also know that you understand it, or else Harry would not be going. If you’d set your mind to stopping him, you’d have succeeded long ago.’ Ginny could hear the weak smile in her friend’s voice.

‘Yes,’ she agreed quietly, a small smile appearing on her face. She knew she could convince Harry to stay, but I wouldn’t make either of them happy. She had long since realized that this rushing off to take responsibility was part of his personality, and something that she loved about him.

‘You do know that I understand,’ she said into the darkness, ‘and you know that I want to come and that I can help. But there’s no point asking, is there? Harry will forbid it, Ron too. And Mum, Dad, all my brothers…’ she listed.

‘And me, Ginny,’ interrupted Hermione. ‘I don’t want Harry or Ron go. But Harry is the only one who can do this and I can’t send him out alone. If I were in your position, I know I wouldn’t handle it well. Ginny, how are you managing it?’

‘I’m not,’ Ginny confessed. ‘I’m not managing it at all, Hermione. I’m terrified. People are going to die, life will change, and I don’t know what to do.’ Ginny’s voice had risen a little.

Silence again. Ginny rolled onto her back, making out the shapes in the room, slowing her breathing, keeping the tears away. She felt panicked, lost, insignificant, weak and out of control. She wanted her mum to come in, pull her close and tell her that everything would be OK, as she did when Ginny was younger. Without realizing it, she drifted into sleep.

* * *

When Ginny woke again it was still dark, perhaps around 3am. She heard Hermione shift in her camp bed.

‘Ginny?’ Hermione whispered.

‘Huh?’ was Ginny’s groggy reply.

‘You were talking, in your sleep.’ Hermione told her. Ginny was confused. She didn’t even remember what she’d been dreaming about.

‘What did I…?’ she began.

‘Well,’ said Hermione slowly. ‘You were, you mentioned…Harry’s name, a bit.’

Pieces of the dream began to come back to Ginny now. There were bits of fear, of longing and of that empty feeling she had been trying to ignore for the past month. She lay awake for a while, wanting to talk but not knowing what to say. Ginny pushed Harry from her mind and eventually went back to sleep.

* * *

After lunch that day, Ginny and Hermione went for a walk and ended up lazing under the large oak tree in the field behind the Burrow. Ginny broke the tired silence with something that had been troubling her the night before.

‘What do you think I should get Harry for his birthday?’

‘Well, I got him a new Sneakoscope,’ Hermione told her, ‘but that’s not the sort of thing a girlfriend could get him.’

‘Ex,’ said Ginny quietly. ‘But what does an ex give for a seventeenth birthday?’

‘Ginny, I don’t think he sees you as an ex,’ Hermione said, matter-of fact. Ginny rolled her eyes.

‘Tell me this,’ Hermione tried. ‘What would you like from him?’

Ginny didn’t need to think about it. ‘A kiss,’ she answered immediately. ‘Even a hug would do. For him not to avoid my eyes whenever we happen to be in the same room.’

Hermione rolled her eyes, though was not quite quick enough at hiding the sad look in them. “Physical things, Ginny. A broom, books?�

‘He just lost his Firebolt, Hermione, but what would he do with a new broom now? Same with books. He’s leaving in a few days, for Merlin knows how long. And besides, I really don’t have that kind of gold. Anyway,’ she continued. “If it were me, the only thing I’d want is to have a moment the way things were before… well…�

* * *

Ginny waited until the lights were out before turning to the silhouette in the bed opposite.

“Hermione?� she whispered. “I’ve been thinking about Harry’s birthday.� Ginny had thought about it all day.

“Have you decided on a present?� Hermione asked with interest.

“Well…� said Ginny. “I was wondering if you would be able to help me.�

“In what way?� asked Hermione slowly.

“I’ve decided the best present is a goodbye kiss,� Ginny explained frankly. “I really miss him, Hermione,� she explained.

Hermione hesitated. ‘He misses you too,’ she said, although slowly, as though it was against her better judgment. Ginny had suspected this, but that didn’t stop the familiar feeling bubbling in her stomach.

It was Wednesday - Harry’s birthday - and Ginny was nervous. Hermione had assured her that she would make certain Ginny got to speak in private with Harry, but nevertheless she was anxious. She was so restless that she had gotten up at 7:30, eaten breakfast and rushed back upstairs, just to avoid him. When Hermione had gotten up for breakfast, she wished Ginny good luck and promised to deal with Ron. Ginny paced the room until she heard footsteps.

“-aiting for the rest of your pants to come out of the wash, Ron-�
Hermione was saying. Ginny took a deep breath, preparing herself, and pushed her door open.

“Harry, will you come in here a moment?� Ginny said, trying to keep her voice steady and casual. Harry looked up; she hadn’t seen his emerald green eyes looking into hers for weeks. She very nearly faltered, and had to stop herself thrusting a pair of odd socks into his arms and blabbering about passing them along to Dobby as an excuse.

Harry took a step towards her, pushing his hair off his face. Ron stopped still, but Hermione grabbed his elbow and dragged him up the stairs, giving Ginny a small encouraging smile.

Harry followed Ginny into the bedroom. He looked scared stiff, but his awkwardness was one thing that Ginny loved most about him. She forced a calm demeanor upon herself; doing a better job of hiding her anxiety than Harry was.

She looked up finally, watching him take in his surroundings. She’d forgotten; he’d never been in her room before. She took a breath and made herself look into Harry’s face.

“Happy seventeenth.�

He looked lost. “Yeah… thanks,� he replied uncertainly.
Using all her courage, she looked at him steadily. He wouldn’t look her in the eye.
What has happened, she wondered. We’re so nervous, like two 12 year olds meeting for the first time.
“Nice view,� he said, eyeing the golden flag of the marquee outside the window.

Ginny ignored that and went for it. “I couldn’t think what to get you.� Her confidence was building, slowly, but at least she seemed more comfortable than Harry.

“You didn’t have to get me anything,� he told her, staring fixedly at her Gwenog Jones poster.

“I didn’t know what would be useful,� she said, unrelenting in her rehearsed speech. “Nothing too big, because you wouldn’t be able to take it with you.�

She didn’t need the mental pep talk to take the step closer to him. She had to keep herself talking, instead of closing the gap too fast.

“So then I thought,� she continued smoothly. “I’d like you to have something to remember me by, you know, in case you meet some Veela when you’re off doing whatever you’re doing.� The nights of the past week, last night in particular, had been spent planning these words.

“I think dating opportunities are going to be pretty thin on the ground, to be honest,� he mumbled.

Her heart leapt; this was the Harry she adored.

“There’s the silver lining I’ve been looking for,� she whispered. She still had the rest of her little speech to finish and she didn’t remember deciding to do it, but the next thing she knew she had taken the last step. She felt the moment their lips connected, felt the warmth of his breath. She was kissing him. He kissed her back. It wasn’t like any kiss they’d shared before. Ginny lost herself in the magic of it, how natural it was, how easy, how right.

She wrapped one arm around his waist, the other pressed against his shoulder. She pulled herself as close to him as she could; it still wasn’t close enough. The tips of her fingertips brushed the skin at his collar. She pushed her lips harder against his. She’d thought she’d forgotten the feel of his lips, the taste, and his smell. Now she knew she could never forget. She often caught an aroma that reminded her of Harry. It had always distracted her from whatever she was doing, without fail.

She didn’t know how long they’d been there, she didn’t really care. It was so sweet, so simple. The more she kissed him, the more she wanted. She wanted this to last forever. It was perfec-

The door thudded open. They whirled around, Harry leapt away from her. Ron was standing there, Hermione rushing to catch up. She looked scared.

“Oh!� said Ron. “Sorry.� He didn’t look sorry.

“Ron!� Hermione was a little out of breath.

Ginny’s heart sank. She was full of humiliation, disappointment and anger.

Ron’s ears were bright red, his signature trademark of embarrassment. Ginny looked carefully at Harry, trying to read his face. Disappointment, anger, frustration. She was near tears. It had been perfect, just as she’d planned.

Ginny used every ounce of effort left in her and spoke flatly, “well, happy birthday anyway, Harry.� She turned her back to them all.

Ginny felt the rare feeling of tears welling up. She tried to fight it. Not here, not now. She didn’t want to cry in front of Harry. But she felt a tear roll down her cheek anyway. Part of her yearned for Harry to slip an arm around her, pull her close, but she was glad that he didn’t try to comfort her in front of Ron. She knew that he understood her in that way.

“I’ll see you later,� he said hurriedly, as he left the room. She knew he would have his head down and wouldn’t be making eye contact with anybody.

Hermione looked up before she left, mouthing a ‘sorry’. She didn’t blame Hermione. She didn’t even blame Ron. She was furious with him now, but she was rational enough to know she’d forgive him later. Ginny lay on her bed and gave into the tears.

Within a few moments, Ginny sat up and slouched against the wall. She looked at the clock - her cry had barely lasted a minute. It was windy outside and the window was open a crack. She moved to close it and saw Harry, Ron and Hermione in the garden. It looked like they were arguing. Ron and Harry were facing each other and Hermione was standing next to Ron, looking frightened. Ginny reached down under her bed and pulled out an Extendable Ear. She put one end into her ear and the other out of the still open window.

“-really cut up when you ended it,� Ron said.

“So was I,� snapped Harry. “You know why I stopped it, and it wasn’t because I wanted to.�

“Yeah,� Ron said angrily. “But you go snogging her now and she’s just going to get her hopes up again-�

“She’s not an idiot.� Harry was nearly shouting now.

Ginny plopped onto the bed, her shoulders hunched.

“She knows it can’t happen. She’s not expecting us to- to end up married, or…�

The words punched Ginny in the chest. Marriage was not something she thought of often, but it was a part of her future that she hoped would happen one day. There was no one other than Harry that she could see herself sharing a life with.

Did he mean that he wasn’t interested in marrying her? Or that maybe he didn’t expect to live long enough... She didn’t know which hurt her more.

Ginny realized her Extendable Ear had come loose and hurriedly put it back in her ear.

“It won’t happen again. OK?� Harry spat.

Ron looked upset, regretful. “Right then. Well, that’s… yeah,’ he said before turning and returning to the house. Hermione trotted after him and Harry was half a second behind them.

Ginny replaced the Extendable Ear and stared at the wall. She was numb. She knew it was foolish, making a big deal over nothing, really. She was relieved when Hermione timidly knocked on the door a few minutes later.

“Come in,� she called expressionlessly. Hermione sat on the bed next to her.

“Ginny, I’m so sorry. I had him but your Mum sent him to do some dishes. She’s been trying to keep us from planning. Before I realized he’d barged through your door. I…�

“Hermione,� Ginny nearly laughed at how worked up her friend was getting.

“It’s fine. It’s not your fault. Not even Ron’s really, the git.� Ginny sighed. They sat in silence, Hermione’s arm around Ginny’s small frame.

“I don’t even know why I’m upset,� she said at last. “I-I heard the argument in the garden,� she admitted. Ginny held up the Extendable Ears in explanation.

“Oh,� said Hermione softly.

“I don’t know- something about realizing we won’t be married- like it’s really over. I’ve just, always kept hoping this is temporary. That we’ll be like we were last year, after this war,� Ginny confessed. Hermione leaned her head on Ginny’s shoulder.

“Hermione?� Ginny asked after a long silence. “Do you ever think about marrying my brother?�

Hermione turned scarlet.

“Is it stupid of me to assume that Harry would want to-“

“Ginny,� Hermione interrupted sternly. “Harry loves you, he cares for you so deeply. I think he does want to marry you but all he can see right now is - Voldemort.�

“So,� said Ginny uncertainly. “You think, after the war, he’ll want to be with me?�

“I’m almost certain,� said Hermione.

THE END