Omnia vincit Amor: et nos cedamus Amori.
Love conquers all things: let us too give in to love.
-- Virgill 70-19 BC: Eclogues
A New Beginning
Tears fell onto the already soaked pillow. First day back of seventh year and James had already cocked it up. He had sworn to turn over a new leaf this year, but she did not know that. He felt a pain in his chest: his heart was breaking. Even picturing her face killed him. He knew she would never be his. He just was not good enough. He didn’t deserve her love so why should she give it to him?
A waterfall of red hair cascaded down a back of ivory skin. A beautiful sat alone at her dresser brushing her hair. She wore a loose shirt underneath a blanket for warmth. Her eyes were filled with tears, she didn’t know why.
***
“Wake up Prongsie,” said Sirius cheerfully. “A new Hogwarts year, a new host of prank opportunities.”
“Go away!” Said James, ashamed to show his face in case his pain was obvious.
“God, you are such a drama queen!” Moaned Sirius. “You have to be used to her rejecting you by now.”
James turned his head to face his best friend. He saw the playfulness in Sirius’ eyes.
“Right, you are going to get it now!” He yelled, jumping out of the bed and biffing Sirius on the head with the tear-sodden pillow.
Lily had woken to a loud discussion between two other girls in her dormitory. She was beginning to seriously regret letting Dumbledore have the head boy and girl’s dorm re-done.
“I’m sorry but have you taken one look at him recently. I mean that body!”
“But James has the hair, plus he’s a quidditch player!”
“Yeah, well, Sirius is a player. If you know what I mean…”
The room erupted into high-pitched giggles and shrieking.
“Ew, you cannot be talking about James Potter and Sirius Black!”
Lily scrunched up her face in disgust. “You better hope tat their things are bigger than their brains.”
She stood up, pulled on some robes and stormed out, but not before she heard one of the girls go, “Ooh, get her! It’s almost as if she fancies one of them. Or both. Maybe they’re in a threesome!”
More screeching laughter.
Lily rolled her eyes. One day she was going to put a silencio charm on those girls. Anything for a bit of peace.
***
The four marauders sat at the Gryffindor table together, mucking about, laughing, and joking. Remus had his head in a book; Peter was stuffing his face with toast. Sirius and James were showing off, as per usual.
Then Lily entered. James turned and caught her eye. She had the most amazing green eyes that sparkled in the sunlight issuing from the bewitched ceiling above.
Time seemed to hold still.
“James? James!” Sirius was staring at him, an expression of sickness on his face. “Here it goes again.” He muttered as James turned back smiling, a dreamy expression on his face exactly the same as the one Lily was wearing.
***
Divination really was a pointless subject. James had been sat in the dingy attic room of the North tower for twenty minutes and the only vaguely interesting or funny thing to happen had been Professor Yanaha smashing a cup while reading Sirius’ tea leaves. James really didn’t know why he was taking divination. Easy ‘E’ he supposed. How hard could it be to pretend to see a load of pictures in some soggy tea? Of course all he could see was Lily’s face laughing, smiling, blowing kisses. He wished he could hold her and never let her go.
Sirius recognised the lovesick look on James’ face. It was the expression he always wore when thinking of Lily. Sirius did not know why James bothered so much with her when he could have practically any other girl in the school. Yeah, Lily was pretty and sweet but was she really worth the state his best friend was in? Sirius was not sure.
***
By lunchtime James had pretty much forgotten Lily, well, on the surface anyway. He laughed when Sirius jinxed Snape so that his plate became attached to his face for five minutes. He joked with Remus about Peter’s eating habits. Outwardly, he barely noticed Lily come and sit by him. Inwardly, his brain was screaming, “Kiss her! Touch her! You know you want to!”
She leant her head close to his ear. “Meet me tonight by the fire in the common room. No funny business!” She stood up and exited, James’ eyes following her.
“What did she say?” Questioned Sirius.
“Nnrgh,” replied James, dumbfounded.
“I’ll have to take that as a good thing.” Said Sirius, smiling at the look on James’ face.
***
James practically sang his way through the rest of his classes. He skipped dinner and went straight to the dorm after their last lesson of the day: Transfiguration. He put on his best robes, brushed his teeth and ruffled his hair up to its sexiest height. By six O’clock he was ready. He went down to the common room and sat by the fire, waiting for her to come. He could not believe this was finally happening. “You must, under all circumstances, stay cool during this date.” He told himself as he gazed into the flames that reminded him so much of Lily’s hair. ‘Date’, he liked the sound of that. Especially when it went with the words Lily and Evans.
The room had pretty much cleared by the time Lily arrived downstairs. She walked over to James who had fallen asleep waiting for her.
“Hey, you,” she said, poking him gently. “Wake up! I need to talk to you.”
He awoke with a start. “Oh, sorry Evans.” Damn, so much for the whole playing it cool thing. “What did you want?”
“Well,” Lily began. “I know you like me and I’m sorry if I’ve been harsh with you in the past. I do like you, just not in that way.”
James’ heart sank, so much for date then. “Is that all you brought me here to say?” He said coldly. “Because if it is, I might as well go now.”
“No,” her voice wavered. “Don’t go. I need to ask you something.”
“I’m listening.”
“Do you maybe, possibly think that Sirius might one day, you know, do something?”
“Excuse me?”
“Well, do you think he’ll go out with me?”
James’ heart froze. Sirius, his best mate. Sirius, who had been helping him try and get Lily since first year. Now she wanted to date him?
“I, I have to go,” he muttered, he didn’t want her to see him cry.
James ran, out of the portrait hole, down the corridor. He didn’t know where he was going or what he was doing, but he knew he needed to be as far away from Sirius Black as possible at the moment.
Somehow he ended up in the library. It was deserted. He sat alone in a corner, tears pouring out of his eyes. All these years she had liked Sirius better than him. Sirius was meant to be his best friend. How could he? No, wait, it wasn’t his fault. He couldn’t help that Lily fancied him.
James stayed in the library all night crying himself to sleep over his broken heart.
***