Now quite full and contented after his meal with the Weasleys, Remus headed up to Buckbeak’s loft once more to finish his reading.
He came to the room to find the beast in a heavy doze, snoring slightly. Remus locked the door (he wished for no disturbances this time) and situated himself on the floor with Sirius’ strewn possessions. He entered the diary’s password and flipped back to September the 1st’s entry. Drawing himself close to the page, Remus was again engulfed in the past.
He was thrown back into the stairwell outside the Great Hall, where he resumed Sirius’ memory:
The moment had come.
“Holy—” the acclamation was never heard because it was drowned out by a great many screaming voices.
The commotion of running feet and cries issued from the Great Hall and it’s doors were flung open as was a cherry tart that would nearly have hit Sirius had he not ducked in time. The room was so busy with excitement Remus was barely able to make out himself and James at the back of the Hall.
It now became clear what the prank had been. Golden plates jettisoned food at their consumers and goblets spewed liquid at their drinkers. Most the school was now drenched in pumpkin juice and pummeled by their dinner. Though students shouted hexes and attempted to subdue or stupefy their dinner plates, the table settings were relentless, sputtering their contents at every form of life.
This brought a round of confusion, for at first Gary Maison, a Hufflepuff, had thought Lionel Galloway had thrown the vanilla pudding at him and responded in a flask of pumpkin juice. This had started an edible row at the Hufflepuff table and now the two fights were unrecognizable, whether they be plate vs. student, or Miason vs. Galloway. The row spread on and soon every table was engaged in the school’s largest food fight of the century.
It didn’t help though, that the plates kept refilling themselves or that now they seemed satisfied to give the students more ammo. It was the wildest moment Remus had ever seen at the school. Even stiff old Welton Haffiford took to altering Tallulah Stover’s blonde coif to a staggering neon green with the mint jelly.
Remus looked to the staff table, where all appeared in a state of shock. All, save for Dumbledore, who wore a mild, humorous expression, watching the fight as if it were merely an enlightening BBC special.
“Shepard’s pie, rack of lamb, oy! Potty boy want some ham?”
That ever high pitched, irksome voice of Peeves resonated against the stone walls of the Hall. Peeves sang this little jingle as he plastered James with mashed potatoes. Prongs really didn’t seem to mind, and gave Peeves the thumbs-ups.
“Knew I could count on you old chap!” James called after the poltergeist. The tiny ghoulish man bowed gratefully to Prongs and continued his devious work.
A group of six year Ravenclaws with some sense ran form the Great Hall and almost keeled over Sirius in their stampede. Until that moment, he had been watching peacefully from his nook against the staircase, admiring the fruits of his labor.
“Watch it Black!” shrieked a frosting dabbled Stella Sinistra. She had bumped right into Sirius, nearly knocking him to the floor. She was quite embarrassed and it shown in her pretty rouging cheeks.
“Why you look awfully sweet today,” chuckled Sirius, eyeing her head to foot. He was making her uncomfortable and her fellow Ravenclaws were beginning to stare.
“You look absolutely delectable in icing.” He smirked cockily, swiping a tuft of frosting from her robes. He brought it to his mouth as if he planned to devour it, when Stella pushed him forcefully back, sporting a disgusted countenance.
“And you look absolutely wretched in audacity! I don’t want your sap Black!(N/A: sap, term for sweet talk) It’s appropriate though isn’t it? He just needs more names for his little Black book doesn’t he?”
Stella shoved him again and left him standing there with his usual arrogant grin. He shrugged his shoulders. Though her actions appeared not to affect Sirius at all, Remus knew Padfoot was mulling over the Ravenclaws words. His actions had been immature and uncalled for. Stella really wasn’t the kind of girl to fall for flattery.
On the other end of the Great Hall James was having women troubles too.
“I didn’t mean it Evans, I was aiming for Longbottom!” James tired to reason with the stunning red head, wet with butterbeer.
“Sure you were!” she glared, “You have ‘the world’s best aim’ don’t you, Mr. Cocky just hopped off a broom! I’m not buying that rubbish, here take my love!”
With those words, Lily Evans hit “her love” with an oozy fudge like molasses cake that stuck to James quite nicely.
“Ha! That goes with your potatoes.” She laughed, but was hit with the impact of more pumpkin juice. Lily shrieked fiercely and made for James’ throat, who held her back easily.
“Watch it Lils, might pop a blood vessel.”
“Don’t call me Lils!” she cried between clenched teeth, making clawing motions towards James’ face. He avoided her nails and laughed to himself. This only made Lily madder.
“I could hex you Evans, you know.” James sighed lazily.
“I could kill you, you know!” Lily seethed; her nails had almost reached James this time.
“Oh murder, murder!” Prongs yelled pathetically. “Evans is killing me!” He said this in a very fanciful way that made Lily cringe.
“Oh what a big mouth you have!” she spat.
“All the better to kiss you with my dear.” Winked James.
He moved close to her in a mock kiss, when she detached herself from him, shrieking in horror at the sight of his falsely puckered lips. She squealed in frustration and he laughed wildly.
“Oh I could die Evans!”
“Oh bully for you, I’ll refer to St. Mungo’s before that glorious hour comes!”
She stormed away, a sausage link sticking to her robes. James couldn’t help but smile and Remus couldn’t help but notice.
All too soon the fun was put to an end. McGonagall grabbed Welton Haffiford by his robes and stopped him from hitting some first year Slytherins with a kidney pie, and Professor Vicar of the potions department lunged for Peeves, which really was quite useless.
The teachers had finally decided to restore order. With a swish of his wand, Dumbledore subdued the plates and cutlery and motioned for silence.
“This was an appalling display of Hogwart’s students I must say.” Said Dumbledore quietly, but he was heard by all, he had won their attention. “And we will delve for the culprits no doubt, but it is start of term and it’s understandable that some of us have not grown out of our summer squirreliness.”
He looked to James as he said this. “So no punishments will be distributed for tonight,” Remus took notice to McGonagal who seemed very displeased at the headmaster’s comment.
“But you will be warned that anymore behavior of this kind will not be left unnoticed. I bid you goodnight and a hot shower, no doubt you all need it.” There was a sparkle in his eyes as he smiled and dismissed each table.
Moony, who had been hiding under a table comforting Mackenzie McGavott, sprang to action to perform his prefect duties.
“First years this way, follow me!” he called leading a bewildered group of youngsters out the hall.
James caught sight of Padfoot watching from the double doors and dodged the crowd to meet him, never minding the first years he squished.
“Not exactly as planned Prongs, but productive.” said Sirius, he was wearing that confident grin as he leaned against the doors.
“Yes, well too bad you couldn’t join us. Want to keep that hair beautiful don’t we?” teased James.
“One of us has to be a respectable figure.” Shrugged Sirius.
The boys were now making their way swiftly up the stairs, hoping to blend into the growing crowd, but they were not so easily dismissed.
“Potter, Black!” rang a crisp voice. It was McGonagall, and she by no means looked pleased at all. “My office please.” She motioned for the boys to follow her. Faking looks of surprise and innocence, Padfoot and Prongs swaggered down the stairs.
“You strut like a monkey,” James elbowed Sirius, knowing full well his gait was highly superior.
“Oh of course.” Laughed Sirius.
Remus was caught in another wind and found himself in the warmth of McGonagall’s office, she must have taken to a more Spartan look then, he thought. Plain, but comfortable looking chairs sat before her desk and she motioned for James and Sirius to sit down.
“Wait Mr. Potter, I can’t have you ruining my upholstery with that mess, here. Scourgefy!” McGonagall cleared away the food covering James. “Now, though I may not be able to prove it...” she said tersely, “I believe you two are responsible for tonight’s scene.”
“Why Professor, I’m appalled that you think we—, goodness, why us? You know we’d never—” James began in false surprise.
“This is no time for dramatics Potter, I’m not falling for it besides. I for one would like to question you on your whereabouts at supper.”
“But professor I was there—”
“But not before the Sorting, Potter.” James fell silent, he had been down in the kitchens at that time, but would never admit it.
“I had to take a trip to the little boys room, though I’d rather not divulge any information concerning my doings during that time.” He said cockily.
McGonagall raised her eyebrows. “Well, if you insist on being difficult,” she sniffed and turned to Sirius. “And you Mr. Black were nowhere to be seen at all, until after that dreadful display.” She narrowed her brows and her eyes were near slits.
“I was having well... masculine difficulties if you don’t mind professor.”
“What kind of masculine difficulties?” she snapped.
“Well, I’d rather not say.”
“Would you? Come now boy, I am tired of playing cat and mouse, where were you during the feast?”
“Elsewhere,” sighed Sirius.
“Well if this is the best I can get out of you…” she huffed but couldn’t seem to finish her thought. She rose and turned from them.
“I want to warn you... that any mischief, any rule breaking will not be tolerated, do you understand me, Black, Potter?”
“Completely,” smiled James sweetly.
McGonagall let loose an exasperated sigh, “Off you go then... and boys I hope you know I am keeping your parent’s addresses close at hand, lest I have the need to contact them. Yes, and that means you too Mr. Black. If your parents’ wrath is the only thing that can keep you in line, then I will be forced to that alternative. All right, off with you.”
James and Sirius jumped from there seats and nearly ran out the door.
“Close don’t you think?” Sirius asked wiping his brow. James seemed now more animated than ever, proud of his victory in the Great Hall and escape of McGonagall.
“Yes, I’m glad we slipped past that one. I can just imagine the letter mum would have sent me, Wasting food that way, why there are starving children in China,” James mimicked his mothers voice.
“Oh! Hey Prongs what happened with Evans, I saw she was making a sort of scene.”
James looked appalled, “Evans make a scene? Oh… I didn’t know you saw that.”
“Not much luck with the ladies I assume.” The boys had reached the portrait of the fat lady.
“Why you’re looking lovely this evening madam, shed a few pounds?” Sirius asked the painting.
The fat lady raised one brow rather slyly. “Forgot the password again have you Black?” she asked in dry tones.
“You know you really are stunning.” He continued hopefully.
“If this weren’t the hundredth time, perhaps I’d fall for it, but it’s not so… No password NO entrance!” she said regally.
James nudged Sirius to the side. “I’m sorry my dear, Sirius just has a habit of trying to seduce every painting he meets, Scourgefy!”
The fat lady bid them entrance and sighed “Appropriate password I think for tonight really, Vi told me all about that scene.”
The past vanished into present and Remus sat looking at the fresh ink scrolling across the diary as he read…
Some way to start the school year huh? Ya well, things didn’t go exactly as we’d expected.
The plan had been this: James was supposed to go down to the kitchen and charm the plates to rebellion, that all went well, those house elves will give you anything, poor unsuspecting little buggers. The plates were supposed to attack after the first course, I mean why starve half the school before some fun, I for one didn’t think it ethical.
So the action was supposed to begin at Snivellus’ seat at the Slytherin table (this was James’ idea), that all went well too. But I think the trouble began with Evans. See, James and Remus’ plan had been to suggest to McGavott and Evans to leave the Great Hall before the commotion started, as to spare them from a doom.
Of course it never would have worked, I could have told them that, Evans would never listen to James, much less leave the Hall with him, he obviously wasn’t thinking.
My job was to stand watch, wand at the ready if anything got really nasty (I was there for James’ sake I think actually). I was supposed to sneak Peeves in at the appropriate moment, after the girls had left the Hall. Unfortunately that damn ghoul was nowhere in sight and there appeared no appropriate moment. Well he got in on his own and wreaked his personal little hell about. After this incident I’ve learned never to deal with Peeves again, although James thinks he’s “brilliant”.
So that’s how it went. I can’t believe that Sinistra, what’s her beef? Girls like that are way too touchy. Ha, what do I care she’s a snotty little Ravenclaw anyway. As for Jennings she’s still hung up on that little snog session we had last year at the end of term. I really didn’t mean anything by it. She probably made it up to be more than it was in her head over the summer, and can’t wash away her sugary sweet feelings for me.
Gag! What’s with girls and “relationships”, oh and the worst is “closure”. They just really need to know why the heck I dumped them. Well isn’t it obvious? They’re not what I want or there’s someone else, is it that hard? The feminine brain is more complex I know that already, try figuring out Evans. I just think James makes a ninny of himself too much for her, she’s just one girl. I know I’m a bit dog headed in this instance, but it’s my nature I guess.
What’ve I done to Sinistra though? She treats me like I’m contaminated or something. I just don’t understand it.
Well it was close with McGonagal this evening. She’s bloody unfair, blames James and me, when she knows Remus and Peter had just as much to with it as we did. She must have a soft spot for Perfects and wimps.
Peter left the Hall early, I don’t think he could stand to watch his precious morsels go to waste, he loves his pies. He was probably hogging down in the kitchens as Wormtail.
Good night, I’m beat.
N/A: Some way to start the school year indeed. A definite mixture of love affairs, but I hope to get to some Sirius vs. Snivellus conflicts soon. Does Sirius seem like a jerk? I just wanted him a bit rowdy and somewhat looser than James. I want James as the more moral figure who teaches Sirius some manners. Sirius is still the good guy, but he’s not grown up yet so he’s learning now. Just clearing things up. REVIEW!