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Right Under His Nose
Chapter Fifteen: 'Tis the Season to be Jolly
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A/N: So much for a Christmas present in September.
This is becoming more than a little annoying. I was so excited to finally have a chapter ready for you guys that I submitted it as soon as possible... only to have both chapter fourteen and fifteen rejected. You're not supposed to have more than one chapter in the queue at a time.
So I submitted chapter fourteen and it was accepted. All was good.
So then I submitted chapter fifteen and waited.
And waited.
And waited.
I finally decided to check my account on MNFF, to see if the story was in the queue. It wasn't. Even after all that trouble, it had randomly been deleted.
So I submitted it again. And it was randomly deleted again.
I really hope this is a problem with the server or some other computer-y type thing. It's just annoying the crap out of me.
So I'm resubmitting for the third time. Let's hope it's the charm.
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“Deck the halls with boughs of holly, fa la la la la la la la la … ‘Tis the season to be jolly, fa la la la la la la la la… Don we now our gay apparel, fa la la la la la la la la… Troll the ancient Yuletide carol, fa la la la la la la la la…”
The connection to the Wizarding Wireless crackled to life as the in the living room of the Burrow grew dark. The embers in the pit of the fireplace were burning low, crumbling over each other and emitting a warm glow over each person in the room.
All earlier animosity was forgotten, and Harry couldn’t be happier. He smiled at Ginny as he slung an arm over her shoulders, drawing her closer. She smiled back, reaching up to her shoulder and taking his hand in hers.
It is indeed the season to be jolly.
Harry smiled again and kissed Ginny on her forehead. She shut her eyes, smiled broadly, and put her head on his shoulder. Across the room, Fleur and Bill were speaking in low voices, with their foreheads very close together. Next to them, Fred was losing a game of chess with Charlie with very flamboyant flair. George was at his side, egging him on and occasionally trying to whisper hints, but Charlie wouldn’t have any of it.
Mr. and Mrs. Weasley sat together on the settee, watching the fire burn into ashes. Mrs. Weasley sighed contentedly as the song changed to “Silent Night,” and she leaned back into the cushions.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Ginny whispered. She was staring at the lights on the Christmas tree that they had all finished decorating.
“It is,” agreed Harry. He had never decorated a Christmas tree before tonight. Luckily, the Weasleys had had plenty of practice.
“It’s fun, Harry, come on!”
“Look, here’s the one Ginny made when she was four””
“That’s yours, George, you prat.”
“But it’s got your ‘G’ on it!”
“My ‘G’’s were never as ugly as that, brother dear.”
“You little””
Feeling as though his smile was permanently in place, Harry looked over Ginny’s gleaming hair at Ron. He was looking at the tree, a wistful expression on his face.
“You all right, Ron?” Harry asked quietly. Ron nodded but didn’t say anything. Slowly, Ginny lifted her head from Harry’s shoulder and took one of Ron’s hands in her own.
“Hermione’s fine, Ron. Come on, cheer up… it’s Christmas!”
Again, Ron nodded but didn’t speak. Ginny turned to Harry with plaintive eyes, and Harry stepped closer to Ron.
“Remember all the Christmases we’ve spent together?” Harry asked, trying to get Ron to smile. “Remember first year, and the Invisibility Cloak? And the dinner with Trelawney in third year?” Ron nodded, and Harry pressed on. “Remember second year?” The corners of Ron’s mouth twitched, but he still wouldn’t give up his gaze on the tree. “Remember how we thought Malfoy was petrifying all those people and wanted to prove it?”
“And how we made the Polyjuice Potion and Hermione ended up with a cat’s tail?” Ron finished. Grinning ruefully, he added, “Yeah, I do.”
“Excuse me.” It was very faint, but Harry definitely noticed as Ginny slid out from under his arm and hurried to the other side of the room. She disappeared into the kitchen.
Bewildered, Harry looked at Ron. “What did she leave for?”
Ron looked just as perplexed as Harry felt. “Dunno,” he said, shaking his head. “Maybe she wanted to get your Christmas present or something…”
“But she would have gone up the stairs, not into the kitchen. And she seemed upset.”
Harry quickly ran through all the possibilities of what could have made Ginny leave. It had all happened so quickly… the Wireless was playing… Ginny was holding his hand… Ron was looking depressed and they tried to cheer him up…
Harry shut his eyes in horror as the realization came to him.
“… we thought Malfoy was petrifying all those people…”
“Ron,” he said slowly, “I am, without doubt, a total and complete idiot.”
Finally! Something sinks in!
“What?” Ron asked, looking amused. “Why?”
“Who else besides the world’s biggest pillock would bring up Ginny’s first year right in front of her? On Christmas Eve?”
Horrible realization registered on Ron’s face. “Oh,” he said. “Harry…”
But Harry had already left his side, heading for the kitchen.
He pushed the door open, but Ginny wasn’t there. For one horrible second, he whirled around to face the kitchen fireplace, wondering if she possibly had Flooed somewhere… but then rational thought returned, and he went to the door.
Cold air rushed past him and he shivered”he hadn’t remembered his cloak. But when he saw Ginny sitting on the garden bench, a wretched look on her face, he decided that he really didn’t need the cloak after all. Suddenly, the wind blew again, slamming the door shut behind Harry’s back. He winced, but Ginny didn’t even lift her head.
The hard snow crunched beneath his shoes as he slowly made his way over to the garden bench. Ginny continued staring at the ground, even when he sat down. Unsure of whether or not he should touch her, Harry folded his hands in his lap.
The wind howled as they sat together. Harry fought down another shiver and prodded the snow by his feet with the toe of his shoe.
“You know…” she said quietly, still not looking at him, “sometimes, I can go for days… weeks, even… and not remember. It’s almost like… I almost… forget that it ever happened.”
Ginny took a deep breath and threw her head back, looking up at the sky. Her eyes were shining with tears.
“But then I remember,” she whispered, and closed her eyes. “I remember… everything. And it hurts.”
Harry couldn’t remember ever feeling this miserable… not since Sirius had died. Ginny’s pain emanated from all around her.
“I’m sorry,” he said, immediately feeling stupid. The gesture felt so small compared to the vastness of her hurt.
“It’s not your fault,” she said. “Everyone forgets. But just because”” she paused and brought a hand up to her face, angrily swiping at a tear. “Just because I never talk about it doesn’t mean that it didn’t happen.”
“I know,” said Harry. His voice was hoarse and he cleared his throat, then tried again. “I know,” he said. “And I’m sorry.”
“I know that,” she said. “I know you didn’t mean to, but, Harry…” Her head dropped forward and she put her face in her hands, dropping her elbows to rest on her knees. “I can understand if the rest of them don’t want to talk about it. But…” She sniffed. Her voice was muffled by her hands. “Harry… I don’t think I can take it if you forget. Can you understand that?”
“Yes,” he said quietly, feeling like an arse.
“I mean,” she started, sitting up straight and wiping her eyes, “it’s not really that big a deal. Just this little thing””
Harry reached out and pulled her into his chest. “I’ve told you before, Gin,” he said. “You’re a rotten liar.”
She made a noise somewhere between half a snort and half a sob, and Harry held on tighter.
“You can tell me about it, if you want,” he whispered into her ear. He felt her arms work their way around his back at a rather awkward angle. Acting on instinct, he reached down and put one of his arms beneath her legs and pulled her into his lap. He then found one of her hands with his free one and gripped it tightly.
“It was so cold.” Her voice was barely more than a whisper. Harry tightened his grip on her back.
“And he was always there… in my head. I couldn’t get rid of him. He made me…” Ginny paused and took a deep breath. “He made me do… terrible things. And I let him.”
“No, you didn’t,” he reassured her. “Ginny, you didn’t let him. He made you.”
“Because I was stupid enough to write in that diary…”
“Don’t say that.”
“It’s true.”
“No, it’s not.”
“But I still did all that, didn’t I? I hurt people. I almost…” her voice was thick with tears again. “I almost killed people…”
“But that wasn’t you. It was him all along.”
“What difference does that make? It’s still my fault everyone was Petrified.”
“Ginny…” he tried to bring her closer. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned… it’s that you can’t think everything is your fault. I used to… I still do, sometimes… but you can’t think like that.”
“What do you think is your fault?” she whispered in a very small voice.
A lump rose in his throat and he had to cough before he spoke. He had never told anyone this before. “My parents,” he whispered. “Cedric. Sirius.”
“Harry, none of that is your fault””
“And none of the stuff Riddle made you do was your fault! None.” He had to make her see... it wasn’t her fault. She didn’t deserve to have to harbor the guilt he knew she carried with her.
“I’ve almost killed people,” she whispered. “I don’t even deserve to speak to you””
“What?” He hadn’t seen that coming at all. Before he could protest more, Ginny had sat up. She pushed back against his arms.
“I don’t deserve you””
“You’ve got that backwards,” he said, tightening his arms and refusing to let her go. “I’m the one who doesn’t deserve you.”
“How’s that?” Her face was a mask of pain and Harry reached up to touch her cheek.
“You want to know what I’ve done?” he asked in a low voice. When Ginny didn’t answer, he continued. “I tried” I tried to use the Cruciatus Curse on Bellatrix Lestrange. Right after she killed… him.” Ginny gave another sniff. “I wanted to kill her. And in my third year…” Harry closed his eyes as memories from the Shrieking Shack came rushing back. Ron’s leg breaking. He, Ron, and Hermione attacking Snape.
Sirius, standing in front of the door…
“In my third year,” he continued, “before I knew who Sirius was… I wanted to kill him. I almost did.”
“But you didn’t, in the end.”
“And neither did you!” Harry didn’t know what else he could do to make her see sense. She wasn’t the person she thought she was… she was so much more than that….
“He possessed me,” she whispered faintly, her head falling back onto his chest, her arms pinned between their torsos. “He possessed me…”
“That doesn’t matter,” Harry said firmly. “He’s possessed me, too. And we’re both all right.”
“But””
“We’re fine,” he said, with some finality. Ginny went still in his arms.
“All right,” she whispered.
They stayed like this for awhile, with her curled up in his lap and his arms around her back. Harry reached up and stroked her hair.
“Harry?” Her voice was low and it vibrated in the space between them.
“Yeah?” In between their bodies, Ginny’s hands opened. Tentatively, she placed them on the front of his chest. Harry gasped. Warmth and chills spread through his body simultaneously.
“Thank you.” Her hands closed and opened on his chest and Harry sucked in another breath.
“You’re welcome,” he gasped.
“I love you, you know.”
“I know.”
They sat and breathed together, Harry’s hands splayed on Ginny’s back, exploring her spine and shoulder blades, while she reciprocated on the front of his chest.
“This is the best Christmas I’ve ever had,” he blurted. Ginny smiled, and he congratulated himself.
“Me, too,” she said. “Well… actually…” she put on a fake thoughtful look, “that one Christmas when Bill accidentally made the pudding explode is pretty up there, too.”
They both laughed. And then, just because it felt like it was a necessary thing to do, Harry kissed her.
The kiss swept through him, warming him all the way to his toes. This kiss wasn’t frantic or hungry… it was slow, and deliberate, and sweet. Harry’s mind was numb. Ginny shifted one of her legs closer and something moved in Harry’s pocket.
“I got you a gift,” he said. Ginny smiled again.
Quickly, Harry reached for his pocket. Before he pulled out the box, however, he paused.
“What is it?” Ginny asked, one eyebrow quirked.
“Luna helped me,” he blurted.
This time, both Ginny’s eyebrows went up. “Luna? Luna Lovegood?”
“Yeah.” Harry hurried on, feeling that if he got this out in a rush it would be all right. “She was at the store at the same time as me and Ron, and we got to talking, and she… helped me.”
“Oh,” said Ginny, sitting up a bit straighter. “All right.”
“You’re not mad?”
Ginny stared. “You’re about to give me a present and you’re asking if I’m angry?”
Grinning, Harry said. “Oh. Okay.”
Ginny grinned as well. “Oh, come on, you can’t keep me waiting now that you’ve told me about it.”
Harry pulled the box out of his pocket. “Happy Christmas, Ginny.”
Apprehension pooled at the pit of his stomach as he watched her rip off the paper. Her eyes widened when she saw it was a jewelry box. Slowly… too slowly, in Harry’s opinion… she opened the box.
…
Well?!
…
“Oh, Harry…” she breathed, raising a finger to stroke the necklace. “I love it.”
Harry let out a breath he hadn’t been aware of holding. “You do?”
“Yes, of course… it’s beautiful. I love it.”
“Well… good.”
She smiled. “Help me put it on?”
“All right.”
Gently, she took the necklace out of the box, then lifted her hair and turned her head away. Fumbling slightly in the darkness (and also because Ginny’s bare neck was glowing just inches away from him), Harry put on the necklace. Then, because he couldn’t stop himself from doing so, he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her neck.
Goosebumps raised up all up and down her neck. She shivered, and so did he, as he began to move his lips down to where her neck met her shoulders. He paused when he reached the collar of her sweater, but she turned around quickly. She turned so quickly, in fact, that the delicate silver feather that hung from her chain whipped him on the face.
“Oops,” she giggled, putting her fingers around it. “Sorry.”
He smiled at her just as another gust of wind came. Snow that hadn’t hardened on the ground yet swirled around in the air.
“Oh,” she breathed. “Look. It’s beautiful.” Harry looked up and saw that it was indeed beautiful, what with the outside light from the Burrow illuminating the airborne flakes. But as Ginny shivered, snow was driven from his mind.
“All right, let’s get you inside,” he said, matter-of-factly. “You’re about to freeze.”
“But it’s so lovely””
“Let’s go.”
She tried to glare at him, but didn’t do a very good job. “Since when did you get so bossy?” she asked derisively, pushing on his chest while she stood up.
“I’m not being bossy,” he said defensively. “I just don’t want you to freeze to death.”
“You’re one to talk. You don’t even have a cloak on!”
“All the more reason for us to go inside.”
She considered him for a moment, then relented. “Fine,” she said, and flounced away. Harry followed, grinning broadly. It was Christmas Eve. Her family knew. They had just had a serious conversation.
And, to top it all off… Ginny liked her present.
Nice job, Potter. All in all, it’s been a pretty good night.
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Disclaimer:
I don't deserve you... no, I don't deserve you... do you really even have to guess where this is from? A&Z's After the End, of course.
So... I guess this turned out to be a Christmas present in October, instead. Hope you liked it.
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